It’s 2am and I’m tangled in the sheets from tossing and turning. Sleep and I have a love-hate relationship. I’m either sound asleep and can’t get up in the morning or I’m sleep deprived and can’t stay awake. There is no in-between for me, except when Aedon and I were together. I would fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up feeling fresh.

My phone is charging next to the bed. I take it from its cordless charger and scroll through until I find her gorgeous face. It’s a picture of her and me when we first got together. She’s more stunning now than she was then, if that’s possible. My finger plays on the edge of her name. I wonder if she’s made it home yet. I know surgery can sometimes take us into the wee hours of the morning.

I sit, leaning against the headboard of my bed, and feel my fingers dial her number almost as if they are possessed. I press call and instantly want to take it back. It rings twice and as her voice stops me just as I am about to disconnect.

“Ashe, are you okay?” Her keys jangle in my phone speaker as she sets them down on her table.

“Are you just getting in?”

“Yeah, long surgery.” I hear her feet pat across the floor and the shower turns on.

“Did your patient make it?”

She lets out a loud sigh and I already know the answer. “No.”

“I’m sorry, doll. I know how hard you take a patient’s death.”

“You would think by now I’d get used to it. By the time they call me in, the patient’s odds are pretty low.”

“You’ve saved many more than what you’ve lost.”

“Why are you calling me, Ashe?” The sadness in her voice pulls at me.

“I wanted to make sure you got home all right.”

She lets out a soft laugh. “Always looking out for me. It’s late. I want to take a long, hot shower and curl up in my bed.”

My jaw tightens at the thought of her naked body in the shower. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’ll be late…”

“I know, you’re going to yoga class in the morning.” I disconnect the call. Anytime she loses a patient she takes a yoga class. She says it helps her to refocus. Maybe I should try it with her one day. On second thought, I would have a hard-on the whole time – probably not acceptable for yoga class. Her ass, in the air, I close my eyes and a visual of her comes into focus. Great, now I’ll never sleep.

I can smell the dark roast of the coffee as soon the elevator doors open. Ander has the main computer screen lit up with old images of an earthquake and the two computers at his desk up and running.

“You’re here early.” I walk past him and head straight for the coffee. He glances up and resumes what he’s doing.

“You look like shit,” he says without a pause from his fingers clicking on the keys.

“Good morning to you, too,” I grumble. After pouring my coffee, I walk up behind Ander and check out what he’s so focused on doing. “Is that the Red Cross site?” I put my mug on his desk, bending down to get a better look.

“Yeah, I figured out how to link us with their communication board. We’ll be the first in the field dealing with injuries, but they are vital to our success and we can improve their efficiency. They can focus on getting minor injuries to the tents where our docs and nurses will be ready for them. They can also focus more on food and shelter for the people that need it.”

“Don’t you think we should make contact with the Red Cross before you hack into their system?”

“Way ahead of you. It was Wren’s idea. He called me at home last night, after he got a hold of big wigs with Red Cross. They are all on board. I had my access when I came in this morning.”

I place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “I’m really glad that you’re a part of our team.”

His fingers freeze over the keyboard as his head tilts up at me. “Thanks, Dr. Manning. That means a lot coming from you.”

Wren comes barreling through the door with coffee already in his hand and a large carryout bag. His curly brown hair looks disheveled and his bag is dragging on the lower part of his arm.

“Here, let me help you with that,” I say, reaching for his bag. “You look like you got as much sleep as I did.”

“I think you and I are a lot alike when it comes to getting no sleep. My mind was on overdrive.” He sets his coffee and bag on the table. Reaching in, he pulls out a bagel. “Want one?” he asks.

“No, I’m good. Thanks.” Ander is already digging into the bag, pulling out several of them. I chuckle while watching him. “Ander said it was your idea to connect with the Red Cross. Nice job.”

“I figure the more hands the better and the more organized we will be in dispatching. That way we aren’t double-hitting doing the same thing, and can save more lives.” He stuffs a big bite of bagel in his mouth.

It is mid-morning and we are all working at our desks when Aedon sashays through our office in black yoga pants and a sports bra. I damn near spill my third cup of coffee everywhere. Wren’s gaze follows her as she walks by him. Ander waves at her. He grins when he sees the two of us gawking at her.

I clear my throat. “I’m liking casual…Tuesday’s.” I have to look at my calendar to check the date because the sight of her in those tight pants have made my mind fuzzy. My eyes are clear, but the brain… not so much.

She walks to the office bathroom, then turns and looks at me before she shuts the door. “Eyes back in your head, Ashe. I’ll be changed in a minute.” She winks and closes the door.

Ander’s motherboard lighting up garners my attention. He works the keyboard at lightning speed, zooming in on an area. “It’s a category F-5 tornado plummeting down on a populated area of Kansas,” he says, pointing at the massive computer screen on the wall.

Wren and I are both immediately up and standing behind him. “Do you want to be the first team to dispatch?” I ask Wren.

The bathroom door opens and Aedon steps out in a casual pair of slacks and a coral blouse. I wish I could say that it looks less sexy than the yoga pants, but it doesn’t. “What’s going on?” She joins us.

“Cat F-5,” Ander says again and points to the screen.

Wren is already on the phone while grabbing his bag. “Send out an alert to my team members,” he tells Ander as he gets into the elevator.

“Notify NOAA that we are sending up drones in the area.” Aedon says, punching in a code on the computer.

“Winds are sustained at 265mph.” Ander says.

“The drones will go in the area that the tornado has already torn apart.” Aedon takes a seat beside him. “Once Wren gets there, you will be able to zone in on him.”

Ander places the tracking of the Tornado up on the screen and then zooms in on areas of damage. “It’s lifted houses completely off their foundation.” He touches his mouth and gasps.

“That’s why we’re here.” She places her arm around his shoulder.

He shakes his thoughts off and starts making his connections and dispatching.

Four hours later, Wren is bigger than life on the screen, surrounded by debris. He gives us an update on the damage and the mission. Forty-five people have already been rescued, some of them with critical injuries the doctors were able to stabilize in the field. He thinks he will be there for several days digging through the devastation left behind.

He holds his hand to his ear when he hears my voice. “I’ll send out Aedon’s team tomorrow to make sure your team gets a break. You can rotate on and off.”

“I’ll get my team on the move,” Aedon walks over and fires up her computer.

“I’ll make sure our private jets are ready to go.”

For a new company, we are already working like a well-oiled machine. Ander has quickly mastered his job and has fit in nicely with the three of us. After I’ve made all my calls, I sit back in my desk chair with my hands behind my head and watch it all unfold in real time. It’s a good feeling.

“Hey, King Manning, I’m out of here,” Aedon says as she grabs her bag.

My mind goes to the dark side - I’d love to be her king - but I’m afraid she would have me dethroned so she could rule the world. But although she may be tough as nails on the outside, there is a soft side to her that she doesn’t let many people see. She thrives in a man’s world by having a tough exterior. “Be careful, and get your Bluetooth activated as soon as your feet are on the ground.”

I’m tempted to activate my team so that I can go with her, but there are already enough people in the field. We agreed to only dispatch two teams unless it was a complete catastrophe involving thousands of people. We always need one team on standby, in case something else requires our activation.

“It looks like it’s just the two of us.” Ander says, swiveling his chair to look at me.

“That it is.”

“I’m glad I’m sitting behind this desk rather than in the field. I don’t know that I could handle some of the things I’ve seen today if I saw them in person. I’m a little squeamish.” He scrunches up his nose.

“You get used to it, and then you live for it. It becomes part of who you are, second nature.”

“Not for me, I can barely handle seeing ketchup splattered on a plate.” He makes a retching noise and I laugh.

I lock up the office shortly after 8 pm. Ander took his laptop with him to stay connected and I have my phone on me at all times. Needing to relax, I head to the Film Forum. It’s one of the only theatres around that features old movies. Tonight is one of my favorites: John Wayne in Rooster Cogburn. I take my seat in the middle of the back row, scanning around the theater and only counting a handful of people. This is what I’ve done for years to destress. I love old movies. When my highs were too much to handle, I’d find a theatre and watch movie after movie until I found my calm place. Aedon is actually the one that suggested it and it worked for me. She knew my love for old movies.

Two hours later, I’m relaxed enough to decide to walk home. The light mist in the air reminds me of a time that Aedon and I walked home in the rain after one of our classes. Her t-shirt was clinging to her body and I couldn’t wait to get her home to take it off her. She was as insatiable as I was. Our sex life was incredible. I’ve never met another woman that I hungered for as much as her. My sex life now is dull in comparison.

I pass by several couples hunkering down under umbrellas, walking arm in arm. I tuck my hands deep in my pockets and walk a little faster until reaching my apartment building. Carl is already gone for the night, so I punch in the code to open the main doors.

I peel out of my clothes and head for a hot shower. Drying off, I reach for my pills and turn on the faucet. The little orange pill rolls around in my hand, daring me to not take it, making me wish so badly that I didn’t need it. I’m a doctor for God’s sake, but there is no cure for me. I cup the water in my hand and throw back my head, quite literally swallowing my sanity. I convinced myself in the beginning to take my meds for Aedon, but eventually came to the realization that the only person I needed to take these damn things for was me. Doing it for another person wasn’t going to save me. Only I could do that.

I collapse naked on the bed and drift off to sleep.