Ally

Running my hands down the front of my black shift dress to the hem which hits just above the knees, I smooth out a few wrinkles. I examine my black stockings, ensuring I don’t have a run and let out a breath when I note I have managed to pull them on without tearing the flimsy material. I turn back to the mirror and fluff out my auburn hair which is simply styled with soft curls flowing down the sides of my face.

I hum along with the radio as I run the tip of my finger around the edge of my lips to make sure I have no smudges from the brown lipstick I just applied. I smack my lips together to make sure the colour spreads evenly and push my palms against my thighs when a slight tremble races through them. I will myself to find the control to get me through today.

It’s Thursday, a day so much like any other but yet so different because it’s the day we say goodbye to Xavier’s mother. With a heavy heart I turn towards the bedroom door, deciding to leave the radio on to provide X some background noise while he gets ready.

Entering the kitchen, I head straight for the kettle and flick the switch on, knowing the guys will probably want coffee before we have to leave. Glancing at my watch, I note the time is only 7.30 am. We still have plenty of time but not enough to build ourselves up to do what we have to. Staring through the glass doors which take up an entire wall, I take in the clear, crisp day. The sun’s rays bounce off the calm water in the harbour. It’s as if the weather is conspiring against us – instead of being gloomy, depressing without X’s mother here, it’s sunny and bright and everything around us is cheerful. I bite down on my quivering lip and attempt to stem the onslaught of emotions slamming into me. I may not have had the privilege of meeting Emily, but through the stories shared over the week by X and his dad, I feel like I’ve lost someone before I even had a chance to savour and cherish her. Emily sounds like a woman you couldn’t help but love. A tiny kernel of jealousy had swirled into my stomach and made my chest tighten as I listened to them tell story after story. I found myself wishing I had someone like that for a mother. I know it’s irrational to feel that way, maybe it’s the events from the past week with my own pathetic excuse for a mother being so vicious. I can’t help how I feel, I would have given anything for a mother like Emily. She was obviously someone very special and I feel sad knowing I’ve missed out on knowing her.

“Are you okay, Sweetness?” X’s deep voice sounds from behind me as he wraps his strong arms around my waist.

I hadn’t realised I’d walked towards the glass doors and placed my palm against the cool glass, staring at nothing in particular, just letting my mind completely zone out. Shaking off the fog, I rest my hands over X’s and lean my head back against his chest. I lift my chin and look up at him through my lashes.

“Yeah...just lost in thought, sad I didn’t have the opportunity to know your mum.”

X leans down and kisses my forehead, I close my eyes at the soft touch of his lips. I’m missing being intimate with him. Since we got here from the hospital on Monday, he’s been so worried he would hurt me, he’s refused to make love to me. I understand his reasons but I miss that piece of him. Damn stubborn man.

“How are you doing?” I whisper.

Looking up, I gaze straight into his soft calming eyes but it lasts for only a moment. I watch as they begin to churn and swirl with emotion, crushed by a tidal wave of raw hurt. They begin to glaze over and he doesn’t say a word, he simply nods before taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. He struggles to hold back the tears and one lonely drop rolls down his cheek before he swipes it away. A sharp pain grips my chest every time a tear escapes his eyes, it’s like his mountain of strength is cracking and breaking right before my eyes and all I want to do is patch him back up. I know it’s killing him waiting on the autopsy report. Nothing is worse than not knowing what happened but waiting for the answer is a close bloody second. I wish I could take his pain away but all I can do is be here for him and try to take his mind off things even if it’s only for a short period of time.

“I put the kettle on, let me fix you a coffee.” I start to move free of his hold but he tightens his arms around me, holding me in a vice-like grip.

“In a minute. I just need to breathe for a minute.”

I melt into his hold, loving that I do for him what he does for me.

“Okay,” I murmur.

Turning in his arms so I can bury my face into his chest, I have to suppress a moan from escaping my throat when I notice the black as night suit he is wearing, because right now isn’t the time to be drooling all over him. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try not to think about how his crisp white shirt is moulded perfectly to his hard chest, like a second skin.

“Are you okay, Babe?”

“Yep,” I squeak out. Clearing my throat, I try again. “I sure am, why is that?” I’m hoping to the heavens above I sounded bloody normal and it wasn’t the desperate whine my ears heard.

Chuckling softly, I feel his hot breath against the top of my head before he speaks. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to stop the sudden tingle in my clit caused by the vibration of his deep rumble in his chest.

“Babe, your squirming like a worm and your breath’s kind of picked up speed.”

Shit. Sometimes I wish he wasn’t so observant.

“I’m good.” I concentrate on trying to control my breathing.

“Come on, I want to show you something.” X pulls away and grips my hand tightly in his.

“What?” My brows crease as I wonder what he needs to show me.

He doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking in the direction of his bedroom with my hand in his. I have to quicken my steps to keep up with his long strides.

“I thought we were going to have coffee?” I question as he sets me down on the edge of his bed. Holding a finger in the air, indicating for me to wait a moment, he turns and heads towards the black tallboy which is against the wall. He picks up a small velvet pouch from the top before returning to sit next to me. Gripping the pouch in one hand as if his life depends on whatever is in it, he gathers up my hand in his free one and takes a few steadying breaths before facing me.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Worry laces my voice as I stare into his eyes.

Emotions flicker through them so fast, it’s hard for me to figure out what’s wrong.

Releasing my hand, he pulls the strings open on the pouch, and turns it upside down into the palm of his hand. The hint of gold catches my eye and I suck in a deep breath.

“We’ve got this, you and me?” He asks, releasing a breath.

“We have.” I nod, feeling the words right to my core. “We can get through anything.” I manage to say before his lips crash down on mine. I feel the cool of metal against my cheek as he palms the side of my face with one hand, the other holding the opposite side of my neck. Feeling cocooned in his warmth, I get lost in his kiss as his tongue slides against mine. Pulling back slightly on panting breaths, I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, savouring the tingling sensation his kisses always cause. Intense blue eyes meet mine, holding me captive and I struggle to draw oxygen into my lungs as pure primal need washes over them. His eyes dart to my neck and I follow his line of sight but don’t know what he is looking at. When I raise my hand, it comes into contact with the cool metal of what I know must be a necklace. Getting to my feet, I cross to the free-standing mirror in the corner of the room. A gasp leaves my lips when I see the diamond encrusted star pendant hanging from a gold chain.

“Wow....” My voice is awash with shock as I finger the delicate jewel. “It’s absolutely gorgeous.” Words can’t do the piece justice. The sun’s rays streaming through the window bounce off each diamond casting a rainbow of colours around me.

Wrapping his strong arms around me from behind, he rests his chin on my shoulder and locks his gaze on mine in the mirror.

“On the darkest of days, you make everything brighter,” he breathes out against my neck, sending a shudder ricocheting down my spine.

“Damn,” I whisper, making him chuckle.

Love bursts through my veins as the lyrics to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen begins to waft in the air. Turning me in his arms, his lips land on mine before I can even catch my breath. Sliding his hands up my dress, he grabs my waist and lifts me off my feet. Pulling back from the kiss so, we are a whisper apart, he murmurs as he runs his tongue softly over my lips - “help me breathe.”

“Always.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him back to my lips, needing to breathe him in as much as he needs to breathe me in. Feeling the soft bed beneath me, I expect him to rip my stockings and panties off, instead he pulls his lips from mine and a soft whimper of protest leaves my lips.

“I need this slow, Babe and you’re still recovering so, I’m in control. I want you to lie there and take everything I have to give you.”

“I’m okay.”

Shaking his head, he cocks a dark brow. “Trust me babe, you’re not ready for hard and fast.”

“I do trust you.”

Painstakingly slowly, he slides the stockings down my legs, once off he throws them to the floor. Lifting my left leg, he begins a torturous pace with his mouth, placing soft kisses along the inside of my leg. When he reaches my panty covered pussy, his warm breath washes over me, sending shivers racing through me. A soft moan leaves my lips, but he ignores it as his mouth slides back down my left leg. Pausing at my knee, he sucks the skin on the underside into his mouth. My leg tenses as heat rushes to my aching clit.

“X.....” comes out on a whimper, but again he ignores my pleas for more.

Lifting my right leg, he repeats the action, setting my blood on fire. When he runs his nose over my covered clit, my head begins to spin. He pushes his hands up under my dress until they engulf my breasts. When he pinches my nipples with his fingers and continues his assault on my clit with his nose, my back bows off the bed. My mouth opens on a silent scream as my muscles tense, waiting for the fall to happen, but before I can get there he pulls away.

“Please,” I whimper.

His fingers slide back down my body leaving goosebumps in their wake. When he reaches my panties, he grips the sides of the lace material and slowly pulls them down my legs. Sliding up my body once again, he pushes my dress to my waist as he goes. His mouth lands on my neck and I turn my head, giving him all the room he needs. I moan as his tongue slides down along my collarbone. My hips puch upward and I feel his hard cock rub against my aching clit. I gasp when the metal hoop from his piercing catches my clit sending a whole new sensation racing through me.

There’s something sexy about us both being fully clothed as he enters me in one smooth, agonisingly slow thrust and I buck my hips, needing the friction against my clit. With one of his large hands wrapped through the strands of my hair and the other pinning my hip down to the bed, he’s completely stopping my movements. A soft whine escapes my lips before his mouth covers mine in a quick kiss, effectively silencing me. I stop trying to move against him and lock my gaze with his.

“I need you,” he grits out between clenched teeth, proving how much control he has and how close he is to shattering it.

“I need you too,” I managed to respond as he flexes inside me and my body begins to hum.

Cupping my hands against his face, my nails rake through his now neatly trimmed beard and without breaking eye contact with him, I roll my hips the best I can while he’s still pinning me to the bed. His head falls forward, his warm breath coats my face and his eyes stay locked with mine as a single tear rolls down his cheek. I lean forward and lap it up with my tongue before it has time to drop off his chin.

“Help me breathe,” he whispers.

His words are so raw they cause tears to spring to my eyes. Slowly he begins to thrust, moulding our bodies together like a well-rehearsed slow dance. This isn’t a race to the finish, this is us letting go of the hurt we’ve been through in the past week and melding our hearts back together, repairing the cracks which could have torn us apart but instead brought us closer together.

“Love me,” I gasp out as my body arches on the cusp of what could only be described as pure ecstasy.

“For a lifetime,” he chokes out on a deep growl, pushing as deep as he can go before letting go sending my body into a soul shattering climax.