I was so fucking mad; I needed something to calm my nerves. I wanted to kill that fucker for touching my girl. I was still pissed with myself for being such an ass earlier. Thank God, Elliott didn't take a swing at me.
I sat on the couch with my feet up on the coffee table, watching the news, trying hard to calm myself down. Tatum didn't need this right now. I heard a soft voice behind me and looked to see her watching me. My heart sped up at the sight of her.
"Come sit." I patted the spot beside me. "I made you a tea." I nodded to the cup on the table, swallowing the lump in my throat.
She walked over and sat down, picked the mug up, and took a sip, closing her eyes as she recognized it was her favorite tea—chamomile.
"You remembered my favorite tea."
"I remember lots of things about you, Tatum. And besides, it’s good tea. It helps me relax." I winked at her. She had told me that for years when we dated.
We sat in silence. She pulled her legs up to her chest and got comfortable in the corner of my couch, her head lazing on the backrest.
"What made you come back to the house tonight?" Her soft voice was barely audible as she asked me the question that I had prayed she wouldn't ask.
I muted the TV and turned to look at her.
"Well?" She sat waiting for me to answer. She looked so tiny curled up.
"Do you want the honest answer?"
She nodded her head and took another drink of tea.
"As I drove away, I began to feel awful. You turned me away, and I acted like a pissy little teenager. I didn't want you to think I was going anywhere. I wanted to let you know that it was okay to say no to me."
I looked away from her. "I thought it was odd when you didn't answer the door, considering I had just dropped you off. I also knew you hadn't gone to bed yet because I watched as you turned on the bedroom light. Just as I was going to walk away, something felt wrong, and I thought I heard you call for help. So, I went around the back of the house and saw the back door was open. I didn't want to scare you, so I listened, and then I heard him. You know the rest." I could feel the anger begin to course through me again.
She was silent again. I was afraid to look at her for fear she would see the vulnerability in my eyes. It took every fiber of my being not to kill him for what he had done to her. I couldn't let her see that in my face. The feelings I had for her were growing stronger by the day. I couldn't go down this path again just to have my feelings destroyed. I had lost her once, and I was afraid it would happen again. Only this time, I wasn't sure I would survive it.
Taking a deep breath, I took a drink of my tea and turned to her. One look and I could see tears filling her eyes, some rolling down her cheeks, the look hitting me in the pit of my stomach.
"I didn't turn you down because I didn't want you, Parker. I wanted you more in that moment than I ever have. Truth is that wanting never stopped, and being around you again, that wanting has just gotten stronger."
Her words caught me by surprise. It took all the courage I had, but I turned my head to look at her.
"Your words, your actions in that moment on the beach reminded me of him. That’s why I stopped you. You should know that I'm so thankful that you cared enough to turn around and come back tonight, because if you hadn't of come when you did, I don't know what would have happened." She let out a loud, uncontrollable sob and started to shake.
I moved over to her, pulling her into me. Placing her head on my shoulder, I held her while she cried. "Cared enough, you never have to worry about that. I have never stopped caring about you. I want you to know that you’re safe now. I've got you."
She cried harder, pushing herself closer to me. It broke my heart having her cry like this and made me angrier at the same time. The fucker was lucky he was behind bars tonight. My main priority sat in my arms; she was all that mattered.
Lifting her with ease onto my lap, I held her against my chest as tight as I could, at times fighting back my own tears. When she finally calmed and lifted her head to look at me, I placed my hand on the side of her face. Looking into her eyes, I brought my lips to hers and kissed her, soft and tender yet hard and forceful, with everything I had in me to give. I put my arms under her legs, picked her up, and carried her to my bedroom, her head resting on my chest.
I had already turned the bed down, so I laid her gently onto the mattress. Taking the blanket, I pulled it up over her body. I placed a kiss on her forehead. "Get some sleep, baby."
I shut the light off and grabbed a pair of boxers from my dresser on my way out of the room. Pulling the door shut part way, I went to walk down the hall when I heard her call my name. "What is it?" I asked, turning back.
"Where are you going?" I could see her faintly in the light that spilled into the room.
"Just going to jump in the shower. I'll be on the couch if you need anything," I said, turning around again.
"Please, I don't want to be alone tonight." I heard a sob escape her throat. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure I could do this. "Please, Parker."
"Okay, give me a few minutes to shower." I walked down to the living room and shut the TV off and headed to the bathroom. Turning the water on, I climbed into a hot shower and tried to let my feelings wash away.
Parker walked down the hall. I heard the TV go off and the water in the shower start running. I was glad he said he would spend the night beside me. I closed my eyes and thought of the beach, how safe I felt in Parker’s arms, and how good it felt to be kissed by him again. I remembered how it felt to have him touch me. I could feel myself getting aroused at the thought. I wanted him to make me feel the way I was supposed to feel, not like the dirty waste that Dean had made me think I was—the dirty waste I felt I was. I wanted him.
I pulled the blankets up to my nose and inhaled; his scent was intoxicating. I could feel that familiar ache between my legs from earlier that evening. I was just about to slip my hand in between my legs when I heard the water stop.
Rolling onto my side with my back to the door, I waited with my eyes closed, my pulse hammering in my ears. I felt the bed sink when he sat on the edge, and then he crawled in, trying hard not to disturb me. When the bed stilled, I rolled onto my other side and propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. He lay there with his hands tucked behind his head, the moonlight falling through the window onto his chest.
"Parker."
"Yes."
"I wanted to say I am sorry."
He looked over at me, his gaze meeting mine. "What for?"
"Everything," I answered weakly.
He rolled onto his side. "Listen, Tatum, don't go blaming yourself for what happened tonight."
I put my hand on his bicep to stop him and lay on my back. "I'm not talking about that," I said, staring up into his eyes.
"Then what is it?"
"I'm sorry that I watched you walk way. I wanted to call you, to come to you after you and tell you what a mistake I'd made."
"Why didn't you?"
"I didn't think you would want to hear from me."
He bent down and placed his lips on mine, kissing me hard. "How could you think that? Walking away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done. My God, Tatum, I was in love with you."
Tears escaped my eyes as he kissed me again, his hands running down the length of my body. They settled on my ass, and he pulled me into his body. I wrapped my leg over his hip, so he could pull me closer to him. It didn't take long for me to feel his arousal against me; he was so hard and seemed much bigger than earlier. As his hands ran back up my body, they grazed the side of my breast, causing a soft moan to escape from my throat.
"Make love to me, please," I moaned as he continued to kiss along my collarbone.
He stilled. "I'm not sure that’s a good idea, Tatum." He looked from my eyes to my mouth and back again.
I lifted my head from my pillow and kissed him. "Please, show me what it’s like to be loved." A single tear escaped my eye.
While holding me in his arms, he kissed me softly then took hold of the shirt I was wearing and lifted it over my head. I watched his eyes as they focused on my breasts and back up to my face. Kissing me deeply, his tongue explored my mouth. He moved down and took my nipple in his mouth, his tongue running circles around it. My back arched off the bed, heat pooling between my legs. I felt his hand trace circles on the inside of my thigh. He exhaled sharply as he ran his fingers through my wetness, rubbing my clit with slow, soft circles. A moan escaped my lips as I arched my back up into him, biting my bottom lip. He kissed his way down my body, stopping at my waist, and lingered there, placing light kisses over my abdomen. He placed his hands on the insides of my thighs and opened me, putting me on display for him.
"You’re so wet." He slid both hands under my ass and lifted me up off the bed and kissed the insides of my thighs.
Another moan escaped my lips as he lapped at my middle, my hands grasping the sheets. He continued to lick and suck my clit, bringing me closer and closer to orgasm.
I was about to go over the edge when he stopped and kissed the insides of my thighs again, and then I felt him get off the bed. His eyes were on me as he lowered his boxers and sprung free. My eyes wandered down his body to his cock, and my jaw dropped. He was much bigger than I thought, and so hard.
Kneeling back on the bed, he rubbed my clit and then slid one finger and then another into me, stretching me. He removed his fingers and while watching my face, he placed himself at my opening and slid himself slowly, inch by agonizing inch, into me, stretching me. A hard moan escaped his lips. Once he was seated inside, he stopped moving and let me adjust to him.
"Fuck, you are so tight. You feel amazing." He groaned into my mouth as he sucked my bottom lip.
I felt him flex his hips, and then he started moving inside of me. Every pump getting harder, deeper, than the previous. It wasn't long before I could feel myself start to go over the edge. Holding onto him, I buried my face into his shoulder to quiet my cries.
"That's it, baby."
The sound of his thick voice sent me over the edge, and I let myself go, clenching around him. He gave one final pump, and he, too, let go, filling me. He collapsed on top of me, his breathing hard and heavy.
He rolled off me and pulled me into his side, kissing me on the forehead. Closing my eyes, I fell into a deep sleep.