I was more tired than normal when I returned to the hotel room. It had been a long day full of meetings. I walked in and kicked my shoes off. I was still undecided about what I would do—move back or return to my new home. It was a privilege that they thought to call me back, but I was beginning to seriously doubt if working at this pace was for me.
I sat on the bed and rubbed my aching feet. I still had three hours of work to complete that was due in the morning before I could curl up in bed. Changing out of my clothes, I changed into my T-shirt and pajama pants and grabbed the room service menu. Eating out all the time was going to add on the pounds.
Calling down, I ordered a quinoa salad with a side of salmon and pulled my laptop from the bag. I was about to start writing when my phone rang.
"Hey, Jen." I smiled.
"Hey, babe, how's things going?"
"I'm so tired. I don't remember ever being this tired. And if you really want to know, I am so bloated, my feet are killing me. My period is five days late. I am never late! Oh, and to top it off, I spent the first three hours of my day running to the bathroom. It's all stressing me out big time!"
"Oh, girl, have you never learned. Stressing over it only makes it stay away longer. Do you remember that time in college when I slept with Rob, Eric, and then that mystery man at that party all in the same month? My period was so late, I made myself sick every morning for three weeks convincing myself I was doomed. I was going to have to drop out of college and become a single mom.
“You were so awesome, you went and bought almost every pregnancy test on campus. As soon as I was done taking them all to get the same answer of negative, my period started the next hour."
We both laughed at the memory.
I had always loved her and was thankful to have her here to talk to. "So, your advice is to buy every pregnancy test in the hotel pharmacy?"
"No, my advice is take a load off. It’s from all the stress you've been under. Drink some wine, put your feet up, and relax! Maybe a spa day is in order. Anyway, I'll come over tomorrow night with dinner. We can drink some wine, watch a movie. Possibly, I'll bring a test and be a good friend to you like you were to me." She laughed into the phone. "Have you made a decision about the job yet?"
"I'm still not sure what I’m going to do. I've wanted this position for years." I sighed into the phone. "What about you? Have you made a decision about you and Elliott?"
Elliott had asked Jen to move in with him. I didn't know how I felt about that. If she moved in with him, and I stayed here, then I would be alone.
"I told him yes. He is planning to come up with Parker to help me move most of my stuff."
I didn't want to talk about Parker. I was missing him more than I cared to admit to myself.
"When?"
"The end of the month. I can't wait to be with him."
"Don't you think it’s a little soon to move in together? I mean you've only spent one weekend together." I could sense the jealousy in my voice and hoped she didn't pick up on it.
"If it doesn't work out then I will chalk it up to another one of the dumbest things I ever did. But sometimes you have to take a chance. I'm still young; I can afford to make mistakes." She laughed.
That was one thing I admired about Jen — her spontaneity. She had never been afraid to put herself out there and try something, even when the odds were against her.
"I wish it worked out for me that way."
"I thought things were going well between you both? What happened?"
I hadn't mentioned anything to Jen about what had happened. "Things were going so well, until Saturday. When the call came in to come back to work, I didn't know how to tell him. I mean, they called on Friday and wanted me to start on Monday. I decided I just wanted to forget about it and enjoy our date that night, so I didn't tell him.” I swallowed.
“We went out, he came back and spent the night. The next morning, Keller called and left a message about my flight. Parker heard it and got pissed. He asked me what the call was about, and I froze. I couldn't answer his questions.
“He left. He thought I had been playing a game with him to get back at him for what happened when we were younger. I called Elliott to see if he knew where Parker was—I didn't want to leave without talking to him—and Elliott pretty much gave me shit. I've left Parker messages, but he hasn't called me back."
"Give him some time. Call again in a couple of days. Considering how he feels about you, I am sure he will call you back when he is ready."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It’s not a secret he still loves you, Tatum. Don’t be so blind. I could see it written all over him the first time I saw him. The way he looked at you was the same way he looked at you back in college."
I grew quiet. I was scared. Scared of losing him, scared of loving him, scared for what it all meant. A knock interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door and room service came walking in with my food. As soon as the door was closed, the smell of salmon permeated the room and my stomach did a flip.
"I think I am going to lose my mind over all this restaurant food, Jen, honestly."
"Why don't you come and stay with me then. It'll be like old times. You can help me pack, and I'll help you relax." She laughed into the phone.
"I don't want to intrude, Jen. I have a ton of work to do every night. I need to make up my mind about what I am going to do as well. If I'm going to stay, I will have to sell that place. I can't afford to keep it and an apartment in the city."
"My God, would you stop? You’re not an intrusion. You’re my best friend! You know what? I think you need to be more like me and go for what you want. Is this what you want?"
I stood staring at my laptop, paperwork spread all over the desk. I was missing Parker. I was missing the comfort I had felt in the last few weeks being around him. I looked at the food getting cold on the table, the smell making me nauseous. Was this worth it? I had exactly six days left to make that decision.
"I don't know, Jen. I am trying. The offer is great."
"Who are you kidding, you sound miserable! I say you get your ass back down to the most awesome man you have ever known before you throw it all away again. Over something I know you don't really want." She knew me too well.
"I'll know by the end of the week."
"Bullshit, you already know, you coward. You just need the guts to admit to yourself that you need him."
I smiled into the phone. This was exactly why I loved her—she called me on all my shit.
I took a breath. She was right. I wanted to be back in his arms. "I have until Friday. I'll make my decision by that time. For now, though, I have to go. I have so much to finish before morning."
"Okay, I have to call Elliott anyways. Seriously, though, if you want to come and stay with me, just come. No need to call."
"Okay, night."
Hanging up the phone, I looked at the pile of work on my desk, tears stinging my eyes. Why was I having such a hard time with this decision? Blinking, a tear ran down my right cheek. Wiping it away, I took a deep breath and settled into the chair. I put the TV on for background noise and worked away on tomorrow’s assignments, taking small bites of my cold dinner.