I opened my eyes and looked around the room. The sun was just peeking through the curtains when I saw a hand sticking out from under my pillow. I could feel the slow and steady puff of his breath against my neck just before I was pulled back against Parker’s chest, and I could feel his hardness pressing into me. I was so warm and comfortable lying in his arms. It had been the best night’s sleep I’d had since moving to Emerald Bay. I waited a few more minutes before I moved, to be sure he was still asleep. Then I gently lifted his arm from around my waist and climbed out of bed, being careful not to wake him.
I stood on the back deck looking out over the bay. The morning sunlight bounced off the colored leaves, making them even brighter. I couldn't help but wonder what Parker thought of me. Years ago, I never would have stood to be treated the way I had been treated by Dean, but somehow, I grew to accept it. I was disappointed with myself, and I was glad I couldn’t see the look on his face last night when I told him. I didn't want to see the disappointment or disgust in his eyes. I had already seen enough the night I told Elliott. Those thoughts kept playing over and over in my head, driving me crazy and making me uneasy. I remembered how Elliott had urged me to call Parker after we broke up. He had the same look of disgust and pity on his face then as he did the other night.
I walked into the apartment I shared with my brother and went straight to my bedroom. It had been a long day at work. I was tired, and I missed Parker something terrible. I wanted so badly to call him. I closed my bedroom door and flopped down on my bed. I lay with my arm over my eyes, listening to silence. My bedroom door creaked open, and Elliott stood inside the doorway staring at me.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to relax and calm my mind. What’s up, Elliott?" Truth was, I was just plain miserable. It had been six months since Parker left, and I missed him more than ever.
"I talked to Parker today. Why don't you pick up that phone and call him?"
"He doesn't want to hear from me, Elliott."
"Really? How would you know? You haven't spoken to him in months, Tatum."
I could tell he was getting impatient with me. After all, I had been driving him crazy. Should I call? Shouldn't I call?
"Why would he want to hear from me? I was horrible to him. I didn't trust him."
"I don't think that’s the case, Tatum. With everything that happened, you couldn't take another major change. Even though he didn't want to go without you, he understood. I think you owe it to yourself to call him."
I rolled over onto my stomach. Why was Elliott always right?
"He didn't understand. He left."
"Yes, he left, you're right. He couldn't turn down that job. Give the guy a break, Tatum. Just because he went, doesn't mean he didn't understand what you were going through or that he didn't love you. I'm the one who’s been talking to him for the past six months. He misses you."
"If he misses me so much then why doesn't he call me?"
"You're being unreasonable, Tatum. Do you miss him? Because almost every conversation we have with each other either begins or ends with his name."
I was being unreasonable, and I knew it. Did I miss him? What a stupid question. I missed everything about that man.
"Yes," I cried.
Elliott walked forward and threw a piece of paper on my bed then returned to the door. "Do yourself a favor and call him." He pulled the door shut.
I picked the piece of paper up off the bed and looked at the phone number Elliott had scrawled out. Rolling onto my side, I grabbed my cell phone and stared at the number written on the paper. My stomach began knotting up as my finger hovered over the call button.
I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was ashamed of how I'd treated him when we broke up. He deserved better than me.
The sound of the door opening jarred me out of my memory. I glanced over my shoulder to see Parker step outside. My gaze traveled from his broad, bare shoulders and hard chest to his rock-hard abs, right down to the deep-carved V peeking out of his boxers. I turned my head and rested my chin on my hand. I wasn't ready to face him this morning. At least, not yet.
He came up behind me and rubbed my arms with his strong hands. "Morning, beautiful."
"Morning." I stood up, his arms wrapping around me from behind. He pulled me into his chest. "I hope I didn't wake you?"
"Nope."
"I have coffee on. I'll get you a cup." I hurried away, but he grabbed a hold of me before I could get too far, pulling me into him again.
"There's no rush," he said, finding my eyes.
I pulled out of his grasp, avoiding his gaze, walked to the other side of the deck, and stood fidgeting with the tie on my robe. "I just figured you would want to get going. I mean, I'm sure you have things you need to get done before you go to work today." I felt uneasy. I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay with me. I had, after all, sprung it on him to stay last night.
He walked to me and placed his hand over top of mine, shaking the tie from my grasp. "Tatum… What's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's nothing," I said, looking down at the deck floor.
He placed his finger under my chin and raised my head to look at him. His gaze moving from my eyes to my mouth, he leaned in and brushed my lips with his. Heat curled down my spine and pooled between my legs. Placing one hand on the side of my face, he pulled me into him with the other, deepening the kiss, his tongue finding mine. I could feel his protection in his kiss.
When he pulled back to look at me, his blue eyes danced in the sunlight. "I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'm here for you. You don't need to be afraid of me leaving or not wanting to be with you."
It was as if he had read my mind. It was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders the moment he said those words.