It Was Always You by S.L. Sterling (4)

Friday morning had finally arrived. I was looking forward to getting this day over with and having yet another weekend to mope around in bed. I walked into the lobby and headed to the washroom. My head was pounding after another night of tossing and turning.

I checked my face in the mirror. I could see the attempt to hide the dark circles under my eyes had been unsuccessful. I searched my purse for my compact and dabbed at my eyes again. It made no difference, so I threw it back in my purse. After running a brush through my hair and popping two Tylenol, I made my way upstairs.”

For being the end of the month, the office was really quiet this morning. After all, we were on a deadline to get the magazine to print. After hanging my coat, I walked to my desk and turned on the computer. As soon as I sat down, I heard a knock on my door. Looking up, I saw Shelley, Mr. Keller's assistant.

"Sorry to bother you, Tatum, but Mr. Keller wants to see you in his office immediately."

I frowned. "Did he say what it was about?"

"He didn't. He just asked that I send you over as soon as you got here."

I smiled at Shelley. "Okay, let him know I will be right there." I put my purse on the floor under my desk and quickly scanned my emails to make sure there was nothing pressing. I walked down the hall and stopped outside of Mr. Keller's office. Straightening my pencil skirt, I knocked.

"It's open," I heard through the door.

Turning the handle, I peeked my head in. "Mr. Keller, Sir, you asked to see me?"

"Tatum, yes, please come in and have a seat," he said, pointing to the chair across from him. Mr. Keller put his pen down and clasped his hands on the desk.

"It's quiet around here for a Friday." I smiled, sitting in the chair across from him.

He took a deep, slow breath and exhaled. "Tatum, I am afraid I have some bad news."

I could feel the pressure building in my chest. I couldn't take much more this week. Trying to keep my breathing steady, I continued to focus on Mr. Keller and remained calm.

"There is no easy way to put it. The company is undergoing a restructure. Unfortunately, we have to lay some people off. I’m sorry, but your position is being eliminated."

I didn't know what to say. I sat there, staring at him. This week had just gone from bad to worse at a speed of ninety miles per hour.

"How long?" I kept my voice steady, even though I felt like I was going to bust. I silently prayed it wouldn’t be too long.

"Right now it looks like this will be permanent. Of course, we will provide you with a recommendation letter and hope that you will come back to us if there is an opportunity in the future."

Swallowing hard, I stood from the chair. I had to get out of there. "Of course. Please, give me time to gather my belongings. I will be out of the office in the next sixty minutes."

"Of course, Tatum. Please take your time, and here is your letter." He held the envelope out for me to take, his face somber.

Reaching across the desk, I grabbed it from him, gave a slight smile and nod, and walked out of the office. I stood outside of his office against the wall, holding onto the envelope he had given me as if it was the only thing I had left on earth. What was I going to do?

The walls were starting to close in on me when Shelley came around the corner. I stood back up, nodded at her, and made my way to my office to clear out my things.

By noon, I had pretty much everything packed up when my cell phone rang. Dean's name flashed across the screen. After all that had happened, I was in no mood to speak with him, so I let it go to voicemail.

Anxiety was creeping up on me faster than I wanted. My chest was heavy, my head fuzzy, and I was extremely dizzy. My world had come crashing down on me all at once; losing my job and my boyfriend all within one week was too much for me. The last time I felt like this was when Parker left.

The room grew dark and my breathing heavy, but I fought to gain control. Sitting down, I took a few deep breaths and sipped water from the mug on my desk.

Shelley poked her head into my office. "Is everything okay, Tatum?"

"Not really. I’ve been laid off. I was just gathering my thoughts before I take my things and get into the car." Taking another sip of water, I stood, steadying myself against the desk. "Would you mind helping me carry these boxes down to my car?"

"Not at all."

I smiled at her and grabbed my purse and a box while she grabbed the other one, and we walked out of the office.

I grabbed my mail as I walked into my apartment building and headed to the elevator. I planned on ordering Chinese and drinking a couple of bottles of wine tonight. As I approached my apartment, I saw a box lying on the floor outside my door. Getting closer, I saw it was from a local florist. The little window in the box displayed about three dozen long-stem red roses. Picking it up, I opened the card on the front.

"Be mine again, Love Dean"

Rolling my eyes, I opened the apartment door. Once inside, I set the box of flowers on the counter and the rest of my stuff on the table. I removed my shoes and went to sit on the couch when someone knocked on the door.

Frowning, I checked the peephole first as I wasn’t expecting anyone. Dean stood on the other side. He knocked again. I rested my head against the door, trying to decide if I should let him in. The fear of what happened the other night was still vivid in my mind. If I let him in, I didn't want to fight, and I didn't want to get hit again.

"Tatum, you there?"

Taking a deep breath, I stood back and opened the door.

"Hey sweetie." He smiled at me and stepped inside. "Did you get my flowers?"

I didn't feel like dealing with him after the day I'd had. "Yes. I don't know why you went to all the trouble."

"I was hoping we could have dinner and talk?" he suggested, holding up a bottle of wine and some takeout.

"No, Dean, I don't think so." I didn't have the patience for him.

"Please, Tatum. It has been a week. We owe it to one another to talk this through. Give us another try."

He must have lost his mind, or I had for what I was about to do. I stepped out of the way and waved him into the kitchen. Shutting the door, I followed him.

"While I get the food out, why don't you put your flowers in a vase, sweetheart. I have to heat some of this anyway." He busied himself, grabbing plates and a couple wine glasses from the cupboard.

"Please, Dean, don't call me sweetheart. You don't mean it anyways," I mumbled under my breath as I grabbed a vase from under the counter. I would rather shred the flowers, but I filled the vase with water then cut and arranged the flowers.

One thing about Dean: he always bought gorgeous flowers, always red roses. He never spared the expense. It was probably a good thing, considering how often during the past year he had bought them for me. Who was I kidding? He was probably on some frequent-buyer program. I buried my nose in one of the roses when I felt Dean come up behind me.

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he whispered, "People make mistakes, Tatum. I want you, always have. I made a stupid mistake. I ended things with her before I left, and I came back early so I could be with you. I wanted to call you all week, but after what went on, I thought we needed some time apart."

I shrugged out of his embrace and kept reorganizing the flowers and baby's breath. He went back to plating some of the food and poured the wine. I wanted his words to be true, that he had ended it and everything including the hit was a mistake. I didn't want this night to end up being a mistake.

I jumped at the sound of Dean’s cell phone ringing. "Aren't you going to answer it?" I looked over my shoulder at him.

He shook his head as he locked eyes with me. He removed his phone from his jacket pocket and turned the power off. He walked toward me and wrapped me in his embrace from behind. His cologne intoxicating; he always smelled so good.

"No distractions tonight. It's you and me." He kissed me below the ear, and then took the skin between his teeth and bit down.

I flinched. I hated when he did that. I tried to let myself relax against him as he kissed and bit the side of my neck again, and then trailed a few small, light kisses along my neck. His hands traveled down to cup my ass, and he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back into him. I could feel his arousal pressing into me while he kissed down the back of my neck.

"Do you see what you do to me?" he whispered. "I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby," A soft moan escaped my lips when his hand cupped my breast. Dean turned me around and picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bedroom.

I awoke to the smell of coffee brewing. Stretching, I climbed out of bed and headed to the living room. Dean sat on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, his phone in one hand and coffee in the other.

"Morning."

"Morning. Let me grab you a coffee." He threw his phone onto the table, and as he walked into the kitchen, his phone lit up with a text. I glanced down at the screen and saw a string of messages between Dean and someone named Tasha. I looked up, making sure he wasn't watching me before picking up the phone. I read through the last few messages on the screen.

My stomach started turning, and saliva built up in my mouth. I couldn't read any farther, but at the same time, I couldn't stop. I read those words over and over. I could hear my pulse loud in my ears. The smell of coffee in the room had become nauseating. Dean came around the corner and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the expression on my face.

"What is it?"

"I can't believe I was this stupid."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Standing up, I walked over to him and held up his phone. Looking him directly in the face I spat, "Tasha is waiting for you with her legs open! You bastard! Get the fuck out.”

I opened the door to my apartment and threw his phone out into the hallway. Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair, I pushed him out the door. "Don't bother coming back here either!" I screamed as I slammed and locked the door. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. I was so angry at myself that I could barely stand to be near myself.

I checked through the peephole to make sure he had left, and then went and had a long, hot shower. I wanted nothing of him left on me. When my skin couldn't take any more scrubbing, I shut the water off and dried myself.

I grabbed the mug he had used and took it into the kitchen. Spying the roses on the counter, I walked over to the vase and dumped them all into the garbage. It was always fucking roses, and I hated them. If I never saw another red rose in my entire life, it would be too soon.

The tears started falling as I looked around the apartment. It was that moment I realized I needed a change. Nothing was holding me here anymore. Elliott was always bugging me to visit, so I'd do the next best thing and move.

I grabbed my laptop, bringing it to the dining room table I started searching for a one-way flight to Emerald Bay.

"Hey, Tatum, ‘bout time you got back to me. How was your day?"

"I have a surprise for you." My voice was hoarse, but I was smiling. It was the first time I had smiled in a week.

"Is everything okay? You sound like you’ve been crying."

How did he do that every time? "I’m coming down with a cold, Elliott," I lied. "Do you want to know what your surprise is?" I asked, the excitement creeping back into my voice.

He laughed into the phone. “Sure, hit me.”

“I booked a flight today. I'll be seeing you in three weeks!"

"Awesome! It's about time. I can't wait to see you."

I hadn't seen Elliott for a year that was the last time he was home. Before he moved, we were inseparable. Elliott continued talking about the things we would do when I arrived. I was concentrating so hard on how to tell him it was more than just a visit that I barely heard a word he said.

"Elliott, can you do me a favor before I come down?" I asked suddenly.

"Of course! What do you need?"

"Can you find me a place to live?" I swallowed hard. There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. "Elliott?"

"What’s going on, Tatum?"

"What? I just think I could use a change of scenery. I've already booked movers." I wasn't sure if he would see through that flimsy excuse or not, and if he did, he didn't let on. I never uprooted easily, and no one knew me better than Elliott.

"Yes, of course, I will help you. If I can't find you a place before you get here, you can always stay with me for a bit."

"Sounds good. I’m going to stay with Jen for a few days."

"Okay. Listen, I have to be at work soon. I’ve got to go. Say hi to Jen, and call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay." After we hung up, I packed my bag. I had called Jen and told her I would be there shortly. I couldn't wait to get out of this apartment.