Cole

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“What's her name?” my brother asked as he tugged a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

Shrugging my shoulder, I didn't look him directly in the eye. “I don't know.”

I knew, I just didn't want him to know. Dane had been different lately. I couldn't explain it, but he just wasn't himself.

“You don't know?” Scoffing, he rested the cigarette between his lips and smirked. “How old is she?”

“My age, maybe a year or two younger. Why?” Glancing at the gas station, I watch her walk behind her mother and up to the register.

The flint sparked in his lighter, shadowing his face in an orange glow. Holding the flame to the end, he took in a long pull. “Just curious, no need to get your panties in a bunch.”

“Fuck you,” I said, bending down to grab a stick off the ground and throwing it at his head.

Dane ducked and chuckled as he took another drag. “Know where she lives?”

“No, I don't.”

A devious smirk melted on his face. “I know where she lives. Maybe I can help, what do you think?”

“How do—you know what, never mind. No, no I don't want your help.”

A crazed smile emerged as he pointed in my direction. “Maybe I'm going to help you anyway. I know a trick to getting girls. How do you think I get so much ass?”

Shaking my head no, I cut the air with my hand. “No, not this one. No bullshit with this one. Okay?”

“Why? What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing, just leave it alone.” Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I kicked the ground. “I haven't even talked to her yet.”

“Haven't you learned anything from me? Watching is all it takes, it tells you everything you need to know.” The red glow of his cigarette fanned out as he smoked in the dark. The small light sparked and hissed as he breathed in, only to fade away under a plume of white smoke. “You know that as well as I do.”

“No, not her house.” Clenching my jaw, I shook my head as I let my eyes flick up, challenging his advice. I wasn't sure if he was going to hit me square in the nose for the look I gave him. Quickly pulling my eyes away, I forced them to look at anything else but the grimace on his face. “Please, can you do that for me?”

“Fine, Pussy.” The last word whispered out under his breath as he leaned against his car. “You ready?”

All the tension in my muscles relaxed as I realized he wasn't going to use his strength against me. We weren't that far off from each other. Dane had only about an inch or two on me, but I think it was more mental than physical.

He was my older brother, there was a stigma to that, a long honored fact that I should treat him with the same respect I would if he was my father. He was in charge, not me.

“Yeah, lets do this.” Shrugging my shoulders, I kicked a small rock that was at the tip of my foot. “Where are we going tonight?”

Smiling wide, Dane tapped the ash head off his cigarette and climbed into the front seat. “Get in, we gotta go.”

Opening my eyes, I felt her warm body pressed against mine. Her arm was draped over my stomach, spooning me from behind. Flipping to my back, Locke snuggled into the crook of my arm with a sleepy moan.

It was nice to wake up that way, to her curled around me, her body fitting perfectly into mine.

Kissing the top of her head, I held her tight. I wasn't surprised she didn't remember me. And to be honest, I wasn't too sure I even wanted her to. I was torn between telling her the truth and letting that story stay buried under years of regret.

Maybe it was better this way.

Maybe blind trust was a good thing.

Frito purred from the end of the bed and trotted up the thin bead of hem on the mattress. Curling around the top of Locke's head, he folded himself into her hair. His tiny feet kneaded the tousled strands, pushing in and pulling out.

I don't ever want to leave this bed.

If I could have stopped time right then, right at that very moment; nothing else would ever matter. The past could be forgotten, the future would never have to be. Everything that ever was or wasn't wouldn't affect either of us anymore.

Because right at that moment, everything felt perfect.

“Good morning,” she whispered against my chest as her chin tipped up and sleepy eyes blinked open.

“Morning.” Running my fingers across her forehead, I brushed the hair from her face.

Locke smiled, burying herself deeper into my hold. Her hand slipped over the back of my palm, fingers twining into mine. “I'm supposed to be at work today.” Her eyes steadied on my face, waiting for a response.

What did she expect me to say? Did she just want to hear it out loud, did she need more confirmation that she wasn't leaving this place?

“And?” Stroking her thumb with mine, I rested my cheek against the top of her head. “Do you really need me to say it?”

“No, I didn't say it to try and get you to let me go.” Dropping her eyes to my chest, she wrapped her leg over my thigh. “I just. . . It's just a normal part of my day, that's all.”

“You understand why you're here, right?”

“I think I do.” Her voice wavered, drifting between uncertain ideas and what she thought she knew.

Tugging my hand free from hers, I brushed her hair with my fingers. “Locke, tell me why you think I'm keeping you here?”

“You said it was to protect me.” Her big green eyes softened, wary of how she answered.

Pushing myself up, Locke sat up on her elbow, resting her head in her hand. “Yeah, but do you have any idea what I'm protecting you from?”

Veering her stare, she shifted in place, nervously rubbing her fingers together. “Who's been following me, Cole?” Her eyes held so many questions that needed answers. I just couldn't give her what she wanted.

She felt him, she knew he was out there watching, waiting, spying from the shadows.

But a name was the last thing she needed. Locke needed security, she needed safety and protection. That was what was important. Not who, not why. . . She just needed me.

Taking in a long breath, I cleared my throat. “I wasn't too sure before, but now there's not a question in my mind. You were being watched, Locke.”

“Who is it?” Her eyes widened, brows climbing up high on her forehead. “Tell me who it is, Cole. You've seen him, haven't you? Isn't that how you know?”

I can't.

“It doesn't matter, all that matters is you're here where he can't reach you.”

Locke scooted herself up the mattress and cradled her knees into her chest. “I was right, I fucking knew it. Someone was watching me.” Nodding as she spoke, I swallowed hard. “I need to know who it is,” she said sternly, crooking her jaw.

I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I didn't want to see the pain or despair in her eyes. All of this was too much of a reminder of my past—our past.

I was afraid to see that same broken girl, still holding the same damaged expression I had thought about for years.

Make her remember you. Let her piece together the puzzle.

She deserves to know.

“What do you remember from when you were younger?”

Shrugging a shoulder, she reached for Frito and balled him up in her arms. She didn't want to answer, she didn't want to open up Pandora's box and have to live it all over again.

That was the thing with memories. Good memories were worth retelling, the feelings were welcomed with open arms.

But the bad ones, they weren't kind or forgiving. They would devour you all over again, chewing up your insides, turning them to mush, and leaving you too weak to stand up.

The same feelings would rush your body; all the hurt, the anger, the sadness. They all came back, flooding your system with as much life as if they were new.

You can't escape the bad memories, they never go away.

“You really don't remember me?” Placing my hand over hers, I gave it a gentle squeeze. Shaking her head no, her eyes stared blankly at the foot of the bed. “Look at me, Locke, try to remember.”

Jerking her hand free of mine, she pushed herself away. “Cole, the less I remember the better. I don't want to remember, I already remember too much. Can't we just be new? Can't you just stop talking about a past I hate and wish never happened? If you already know about me, then you know how much it fucked up my life. Why would I want to remember that?”

“It's important. I need you to try.”

“Cole, I don't want—”

“You need to because it matters now.”

Jumping to her feet, Frito lept from her lap, landing on all fours. Her glare hardened as her lips curled in anger. “No.”

“Locke, if you don't remember anything about what happened to you—”

Reaching for the back of her neck, she scrubbed it hard. “I remember it all, Cole, I just don't remember you.” Stepping towards the closet, she whipped her body around. “What is it that you want me to say, huh?” Throwing her arms in the air, they snapped to her hips. “Why don't you tell me what the fuck you know about who I am? Why don't you tell me the reason I'm here and what the hell you're doing?”

“I told you why you're here.” Hanging my head, I slowly lifted my eyes back up. “I can't tell you anymore until you remember me.”

“Fuck you! You can't just bring up my past, call me by name, and not tell me how the hell you know! You're the one who wants to talk about it, not me. So why is it that when I finally look for the answers, you don't want to give them?”

Standing quickly, I stalked towards her and grabbed the outside of her arms, holding her in place. “Listen to me, and listen to me good. I am not trying to make you afraid, I am not trying to make you upset. But you're right, someone is following you, someone is watching you. That's what this comes down to, but I want you to remember me. You can feel it, I know you felt it when I came in the bar.”

“I feel scared and afraid. That's what I'm living with right now, do you understand that? Remembering you can't change that, thinking about all that will only make this worse.”

Digging my fingers into her shoulders, I brought my face closer to hers. “I know what you went through, I know what happened to your family, to your sister. . .”

Her breath hitched, chest snapping out as she held onto the air still swirling inside. “Who are you? How do you know so much about me?”

The words tumbled around inside my head, ready to spew from my mouth. But I held them in, unable to allow them to take shape.

If she could remember who I was on her own, if she could see my face in her memories, I felt like it would somehow take away some of the blame I felt for the things I hadn't done right. It would be her mind filling in the blanks, not my confession doing it for her.

She could hit me and curse me, she could call me all the names she wanted, I wouldn't stop her. Whatever she chose to say, I would accept; whatever she chose to feel, I would embrace it. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her, the words felt like fire on my tongue.

Guilt was a horrible thing, it made you think of a million different ways you could have prevented something from happening. I felt guilty, I felt like everything I didn't do was the string that linked us together.

This was my blueprint to fix it. Change now.

My thumbs caressed her arms, drawing large swooping circles. I needed her to know that I wouldn't let anything happen to her, but she had to be strong. I wasn't going to let that fear paralyze her.

“I need you to trust me, I need you to not be afraid. I'm not the one you need to fear, but the man that's hunting you. . . He is.”

The vein in her neck pulsed as she swallowed, her skin paling to ghost white. “The same guy that killed those girls? Is he the one who's been watching me?” I felt a shiver run through her body as her eyes filled with tears, glazing the surface like glass.

“That's what I think.”

“How—how do you know?” She didn't blink, she didn't move a muscle as she stood paralyzed.

“Hold on, stay here for a minute. I have something I want to show you.” Leaving the room, I came back with a few files from my work bag.

“What's that?” she asked, stepping forward and pointing at the folders.

“Come sit.” Dropping onto the bed, I rested them on my lap. Running flat palms over the top of the files, I kept my head down. “I think you should see this.”

“Okay.” Her eyes fluttered in curiosity as she tucked her hands under her thighs nervously.

“I can't explain everything, you have to see it for yourself.” Flipping open the file, Bethany Doone's smiling face peered up at us. “This—”

“Bethany Doone, I saw her on the news. She was found in Prairie Creek.” Locke touched the picture, turning it softly so she could look at it straight on. “She's about my age.”

Shaking my head, I scratched at the base of my neck. “It's not just the age you have in common.”

“We look alike too.”

“Exactly.” Moving Bethany's picture, I pulled out the next one underneath and rested her on top. “And this is Renee Fletcher, she was found a couple days ago. Notice anything?”

“Oh my God, she looks like me too.”

“Can you see a pattern?”

“Why do you have these?” Lifting up both pictures, Locke examined them closely.

“I work with the police, I'm a criminal profiler. It's my job to pick up on the connections, find the links and similarities that might be able to help them catch this guy.”

Tugging out a third photo from underneath, she held it up. “Who's this?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I shook my head. “We don't know yet, we're still trying to figure that out.”

“How did you find out he was after me? I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of other girls that look like this, so why me?”

“It's not just what you look like, Locke, there's more. I don't know how to explain it without you thinking I'm crazy.”

Her eyes drifted up, lashes sweeping the soft skin beneath her lids as she blinked. “Try me.”

Letting out a heavy breath, I rubbed my jaw. “I dreamed about you.”

Tilting her head, her eyes turned to slits. “You dreamed about me?”

“Yeah,” I said, digging my hands into my knees. “I saw you being hurt, I saw you running. That day I came into the bar, you walked right past me before that. I only came in to be sure it was you. And when I knew it was, when I knew I wasn't imagining the entire thing, that's when I started to put the pieces together. You're in danger and I'm the one to protect you.”

Locke let her eyes fall back to the photos, sliding her fingers up and down the edges of the stiff paper as she sat quietly.

“I told you it sounds crazy, but my gut says I'm right. I can't ignore it, it won't go away. You're in trouble, you're still in trouble, that's why I need you to stay right here.”

“How do you know he doesn't know I'm here?”

“Because I know. No one followed us here.”

“But how do you know?”

“All I can do is tell you to trust me.” Wrapping my arm around her neck, I kissed her cheek. “Please, just trust me.”

“Why didn't you tell me this in the beginning?”

“How could I?” Hugging her tight, I asked, “Would you have come with me if I did?”

She didn't answer, and I didn't need her to, I knew what she would have said and done. It wouldn't have ended with her coming here willingly, and that was a risk I wasn't going to take.

I fell in love years ago with a girl I didn't know. I fell in love years ago with a girl that didn't know me.

I lost her before I had the chance to find her. She was stripped from my hands before I ever closed my fingers.

And I wasn't going to lose her all over again.