What is she running from?
Her eyes buzzed inside the sockets as she kept checking over her shoulder, only she wasn't looking at me, she was looking right through me. It was as if she couldn't hear me, as if she couldn't see me. But I was right there, a few yards away from being able to touch her with my hand.
Trying to follow her eyes, I glanced behind my back, expecting to see someone else or some rabid animal that wanted to stake claim on her body for food. But nothing was there.
Flailing my arms, I kept trying to get her attention. “Why are you running? Just stop! Tell me what's wrong!”
The woman let out a high-pitched yelp as a branch struck her face and she stumbled forward. Regaining her balance, her feet moved faster, toes clamping into the ground to push her further ahead.
My chest was heaving hard, trying to breathe and yell, trying to keep oxygen flowing to my muscles and my brain functioning like it should.
But every step seemed to weigh a ton, giving her time to get further away. My legs felt so heavy, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't run fast enough to catch up with her.
Darting to her right, she ducked into some thick brush, and the air around me went cold. There was no more loud raspy breathing from her frantic lungs, there was no more soft thud of her feet against the ground. The silence had returned and I was caught in its wake.
Slowing down as I reached the area she tucked herself into, I bent forward and gripped my knees, trying to catch my breath. Sweat was running down over my temples, my chest felt like it was on fire and my heart wanted to jump out of my throat.
Taking in slow gulps, I softly stepped to the bush and pushed back the leaves. Where the fuck did she go?
It was empty. The girl was gone and I had no idea how the hell she vanished so quickly.
Dragging my hands down over my cheeks, I rubbed my chin and turned in a small circle. She had to be some place nearby. There was no way in hell she could have quietly escaped with how frightened she looked.
Checking behind some tree trunks and a few more thickets of briers and dense foliage, I couldn't understand what had just happened.
I was so close. I almost had her and now she's gone. . . Again.
A scream billowed out across the treetops, echoing around me like the sound had just morphed into a thick quilt, blanketing the air. My shoulders stiffened and the hair on my neck shot up. She was still close, she was still scared for her life, and that only fueled me more.
This woman needed help, she needed a safe haven to rest and to find solace inside herself. She needed me.
Turning on my feet, I debated which way her voice came in from. I just couldn't pinpoint it, it seemed like her scream came from every direction; North, South, East, West, she was everywhere.
The woman cried out again, her voice scratchy and laced with despair. Lunging forward, I took a guess and hoped it was going to lead me to her.
Tree after tree blurred together, the tall stalks turning into wall after wall of just red. And as I broke through the door at the end, my feet slowed to a stop.
The woman was on the ground, her head hanging low as she rested on her knees. Her shoulders were slumped forward, hair hanging in around her face.
My eyes scanned her body, noticing the soles of her feet and how black and raw they were, bleeding from wounds the harsh ground had delivered. Blue and purple bruises painted her arms, her clothes were dirty and stained in reddish brown smears. Is that dirt, mud. . . blood?. . .
I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know.
Reaching my hand out, I slowly lowered my fingers to touch her. My eyes kept shifting between the tremble in my hand and her battered shell. Never in my life had I seen someone so broken, so terrified of something, and it shook me to the core.
Every inch of my body was electrified as my heart pumped adrenaline through my veins. I was hot and cold, I was shocked and worried as wonder and concern took over.
Answers were what I needed, answers were what I was looking for. And I hoped that she could sense I wasn't violent or cruel, I hoped she could feel the softness of my voice and would accept my hand as I gave it to her.
Standing right behind her, I was hovering over her shoulder, ready to sink into her skin and force her to look at me.
The pads of my fingers brushed the fabric, it was cold and stiff as a sensation flared in my chest. I was scared of what I was about to learn, I was terrified of what this woman was running from.
Tingles surged up through my toes and coated my muscles. It was as if the fear she felt was seeping into the dirt, swimming through the tiny grains and clawing its way up my legs.
And yet, we were still all alone, all was quiet and calm. Not one sound fluttered between us.
“Miss, are you okay?”
Snapping her face up, her lids opened wide as she screamed the most horror-filled wail I had ever experienced. Tears exploded from her eyes and swept down her cheeks, her pupils ate away at the green pool surrounding them.
I froze.
I sucked in air and gulped it down.
Then everything went black.
* * * * *
My eyes shot open as I sat up in bed. I was breathing heavy and my arm was actually stretched out, reaching for something that was never there to begin with.
It's just a dream.
The same fucking dream I've had almost every night for the past week. It had been driving me crazy, making it hard for me to think, to work, to do anything.
I couldn't explain it, I didn't know why it kept happening, but I couldn't make it go away.
The entire dream seemed so real, like I was actually there, like the woman was living and breathing and whatever the hell she was going through was the most terrifying thing in the world.
She is real. . . Just not to you anymore.
I could see her face, her eyes, her mouth, right down to the thick cracks that ate away the skin of her lips.
She was so vivid, burned into every space of my brain. The bruises on her face and arms, the feel of her clothing, all of it felt so real, as real as the blanket on my bed and the pillow under my head.
But the worst part of it all. . . I knew who she was. She was someone I had pushed into the depths of my memories. A girl that I shouldn't know, but did, a girl that had no place in my life anymore, but ultimately found her way back to me.
It was just a dream. No, it was a fucking nightmare.
Falling onto my back, I clutched my head and groaned. I just want it to stop.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The alarm on my nightstand went off, the red light flickering, reminding me that it was time to get up. Tossing the blanket off, I threw my feet off the edge of the bed and pushed my toes into the cold wood floor.
I was tired and drained. It felt like I had been out drinking all night and the alcohol found its way into my muscles, thickening like tar and turning into cement. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take.
It was to the point that I tried to stay awake, I fought sleep just to save my mind from the depressive images that would torture it under the cover of darkness.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
But this needs to end.
I can't keep having this nightmare.
I can't have her in my head.