Locke

––––––––

“Hanna?” The voice was soft and muffled. “Hanna?”

“What?” I asked, shoving my face deeper into the pillow.

“Did you hear that?” Vanessa shifted on her bed, sitting up on her knees.

“Hear what?” Rubbing my eyes, I pushed up on my elbows and tried to focus on her.

Her face was heavy, eyes wide and panicked. “Listen—” Holding up her hand, she patted the air. A grinding noise scraped the outside of the window. “That, that right there. Did you hear it?”

“Yeah. What is it?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she twisted her head sharply to look at me. “I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't be asking you.”

“Is it one of your boyfriends? Maybe Chris is trying to slip in here so you guys can make out all night.” Giggling, I pressed my lips together and made kissing noises.

“Shut up, Hanna.” Rolling her eyes, she looked back at the window, tipping up onto the peak of her knees and trying to see beyond the glassy surface.

The glass was so dark it appeared black like onyx as flashes of Vanessa's head and shoulders tumbled in and folded away. Her body swayed forward, hands gingerly gripping the edge of her bed to stay upright and not fall to the floor. “I can't see anything.”

Sitting up in my bed, I snagged my blanket and hoisted it up my chest. “Go closer.”

“Fuck that, you go closer. Maybe whatever it is will scamper off when it sees your face.”

“You're such a bitch.” Scoffing, my eyes turned into tight slits. “You're older, shouldn't you be braver and protect your little sister?”

“Screw you. Maybe I would if I had a little sister worth protecting.” Snarling, she crunched her nose and curled her lip. The noise scraped again, louder and closer to the windowsill. “Go wake up mom.”

“You go wake up mom.”

“Hanna!” she yelled through a whisper. “Go wake up mom.” Gritting her teeth, she kept shifting her eyes between the window and me. The noise echoed into the room, riding the thick, nighttime air. “We can both go.”

She started to climb off her bed, softly touching the carpet with the tips of her toes. Her hair fell over her face, blocking her from seeing. Wiping it away with her fingers, her eyes flitted to mine, stopping her from moving any further.

I couldn't blink, I couldn't see anything but a thick mass taking shape behind my sister in the window. “Vanessa?” Scrambling up the back of my bed, I pointed my finger. “Do you see that?”

“See what?”

“Ahhhhh!” Instinct kicked in, forcing me to hide in the safety under my blanket. I didn't want to see anymore. With the blanket over my head I felt safe, I felt like I was invisible and protected behind the cotton quilt covering me completely.

Vanessa's scream matched mine, her voice high-pitched for a brief second, only to disappear as quickly as it came.

I wanted to peek out from under the covers, I wanted to see if I was just dreaming, if this entire thing was just a horrible nightmare.

But I was too afraid.

This wasn't the same as when I was a little kid and thought I saw a monster in the closet or eyes under the bed. I couldn't run to my mom and climb into her arms, Vanessa couldn't put on the brave face and slay the monster with her magic comb.

This was not my imagination at work.

A ringing noise pierced my eardrums, buzzing through my brain and silencing any sound around me. Creeping up into the high-pitched screech, a small voice inside told me to look. It told me to stop hiding behind my fear and do something.

Taking a deep breath, I curled my fingers over the trim of the blanket and started to lower it. I felt the cold air on my skin first, it was brisk and icy as it spread over my face.

I still didn't open my eyes.

Counting inside my head, I decided three was the number, that was when I would just look and see what the hell was going on.

One. . . Everything is fine, I'm sure it's fine.

Two. . . Vanessa is going to still be asleep, the window will be closed and locked tight, and this feeling in my chest will vanish.

Three. . .

Cracking one lid, I heard another violent scream. Only it wasn't Vanessa or a horror flick playing on our television. . . That scream was me.

* * * * *

“Good morning.” Cole pushed open the blinds as he spoke, smiling like this was a normal, casual day. He greeted me like we had just spent the night together willingly.

That was not the case at all.

Yes, I accepted his invitation to dinner, and I should have left it at that. I should have said thank you and that I appreciated him coming to the hospital with me to visit my mother.

I should have grabbed a taxi home and crawled into my bed alone, instead of willingly crawling into his. I had agreed to have sex with him, but I didn't agree to this.

I was a damn fool.

“Fuck you.” Rubbing my ankle where the rope was tied, I scratched the inflamed skin. “It's not a good morning. This is fucked up, you're fucked up.”

Huffing under his breath, he turned to look at me. “Now that's no way to greet me.”

“And keeping me tied up, locked in this room, locked in your house—that's no way to treat me.”

Chuckling, Cole stepped in, standing a few feet away from the bed. “Give it time, Locke, you'll learn to understand. But trust me, this won't be forever.”

“How long then? How long do you plan on keeping me here like this?”

Hanging his head, he fiddled with his fingertips. “I can't answer that.”

“Why?” Sitting up in the bed, I threw my feet over the edge. My ankle hurt like hell, stinging the surface like a hundred fire ants had bitten me while I slept. “Tell me why this is happening!”

Cole stared down at me, his eyes warm and sad, full of all the things he wasn't saying out loud. “I want to, I do. But Hanna—”

“Don't call me that! That name, that girl. . .” Taking in a heavy breath, my voice trickled out like a broken faucet. “She died a long time ago.”

His legs brought him to the bed in one quick step. Dropping to one knee, Cole wrapped his hands around mine. “And I'm sorry for that, I really am. None of that should have happened. But I'm trying to protect you, I need to protect you.”

Who the hell are you? How could you possibly know what I've been through?

Tilting my head, I eyed him cautiously. He said it as if he knew, as if he was aware of what had happened to me ten years before. But that shouldn't be possible.  I didn't know him, so how the fuck did he know me?

He knows your real name.

There was temptation to dig beneath the surface, to pick his brain apart and find out just how much he really knew. But I couldn't, I didn't want to.

That part of my life was over, those memories were barricaded behind as many walls as I could put up, pushed so far down, I refused to let them breath the air they wanted. I had been trying to suffocate them for years.

Talking about it, thinking about it. . . That would only bring them back to life. I buried them with my old name, I erased them from who I was when I decided to call myself Locke.

I locked up everything good and tight, the name seemed to fit perfectly.

“What do you mean protect me? From what?”

Dragging his hand over his chin, his jaw rocked back and forth. “Look, I just need you to trust me. You're here and it's keeping you safe, that's all I can tell you.”

“You say that like this is some chivalrous act of kindness. Like me being tied to the fucking bed is the same as you catching me if I was falling. It's not, this is not what people do, Cole.”

Lifting his fingers to my cheek, he stroked the heated flesh. “Do you know how fucking beautiful you are?”

Jerking my head away, I twisted out of his hand. “Don't touch me.”

A teasing smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “That's not what you said before.” Dipping his head, his brow wriggled.

I wanted to be angry, I expected to be afraid and fearful of what he was doing. Whatever he was trying to do with his manipulating words shouldn't be working. But it was. I was no further into hatred for him than I was for desire and lust.

It was like I was perched on a tight rope, swaying side to side, doing my best to just stay up. If I leaned too far either way, I was gone.

His chest pressed against my thigh as his fingers swept down my neck and across my collarbone. “You can't deny we had fun, you can't say that you didn't enjoy me being deep inside you.”

Swallowing a heavy gulp, I closed my lips tight. Even if I did enjoy what had happened between us, those feelings should have changed the moment he closed the door.

They didn't.

They were still there, burning me, holding me, making me finally feel again when my life had been nothing more than shattered glass. Sharp edges sliced me, they cut me every day, slowly forcing me to bleed forever.

And then Cole walked in, he made my heart skip, he made my body tingle. He created things inside me that I never thought I'd have the chance to feel again.

How do I turn that away?

How do I make myself not want the only thing that brought me back?

The pads of his fingers worked over my ribs, forcing a chill to sweep through my body. “What happened before wasn't this, the man I met was nice and kind, not this man I'm seeing now.”

“I am that man, I'm not a monster, I'm not doing this to hurt you.” Pressing his forehead against my shoulder, he kept his head down. “I didn't want to tie you up, I just wanted to keep you here. I can't help you if you're out there. Out there is the danger, not in here with me.”

My heart began to slow down, thumping in a spastic rhythm. Each beat was strong and weak, loud and soft. I fought with the belief that he was telling me the truth, that he was protecting me from some unseen force.

What if he is?

What if he saw what you've been feeling?

I felt the eyes, I heard the voiceless breaths, I had seen the man in the darkness; maybe he had too, maybe he knew what was following me.

Maybe I'm not crazy after all. . .

A warm wave washed over my skin, prickling the surface and tickling my core. His hand kept moving, it kept working and rubbing; massaging my back, stroking my belly, touching me with grace.

“I'm not going to hurt you, Locke, I promise.” Bringing his lips to my throat, he kissed me softly. “The man from yesterday is still here, he didn't go anywhere, he didn't disappear.” His tongue licked up my neck. “That wasn't an act, that was real, that was me.”

Inhaling a sharp breath, it felt like hot needles had just pierced my chest. My eyes closed the more he touched, the more he kissed and caressed. “Cole, I can't stay here like this.”

“You don't have to stay like this,” he said, tugging the rope. “If you promise me you'll stay until I tell you it's safe.” Palming my breast, he nipped the tender skin under my chin. “Promise me you'll stay here.”

Gasping, my pussy clenched, stomach coiling tight. “I can't make that promise if I don't know what's going on.”

“If I tell you, will you stay?” Pinching my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, he twisted it gently.

Arching my back, I moaned. He was playing my body like an instrument, plucking the strings perfectly with precise strokes.

My mind was at war, fighting with my body. Every rational thought I had was terrorizing the heat and lust I felt. Memories from what he was capable of, thoughts and images of his cock, his hard muscles, his hips driving deep inside. . .

The memories were winning. They made me forget the rope around my ankle, the lock on the door, the fact that I was trapped with no escape.

Do I even want to escape?

So many years of my life had been spent running, trying to elude the dreams in my head and images I couldn't escape. I was sick of running, I was tired of looking over my shoulder.

An idea was brewing, it was swirling together and kicking up dust like a windstorm had suddenly taken shape inside my mind. Maybe in here, away from people, away from the world. . . I could finally be free.

“Tell me.” Hissing with need, I let my head drop back as his hand slipped down over my belly to the desire between my legs.

Palming my mound, Cole placed more kisses up my throat. “Something bad was going to happen, I could feel it. . .” Pausing, he twisted his palm hard against my clit. “And I'm not going to let anything happen to you.”

His words penetrated my soul. They made me breathe heavier, they tore me open and left me at his mercy.

Cole cared, he wanted to save me. And I couldn't deny that I wanted to be saved.

I wanted someone else to take charge, I wanted someone else to release me from the pain and suffering that wouldn't go away. I was tired, ready to find an end, an escape, a means to all the time I spent reliving the mistakes I made and things I couldn't change.

And here it was, clawing into my heart and forcing itself down my throat. I hadn't realized how ready I was until that moment. Cole made the choice for me, and for that I was grateful.

I felt his lips over mine, hovering, gently brushing the surface. Goosebumps surged, my sex grew hot and wet. I wanted him inside me again, I wanted to feel the truth to his words and the weight of his honesty.

I believed him.

I couldn't explain why, but I believed him. It was a feeling, an electric shock that pulsed through my body with just the look in his eyes. He knew things, he felt things, and I had too.

“How could you know that?” Pursing my lips, I gave in and kissed him. I tasted him. I lost the battle inside myself and let my body win.

If he was going to explain more, it could wait. Right then I needed him, I needed to feel again, I needed to know that I was still human and not just an empty shell of a woman.

Too many years of my life had been spent alone, with no emotions, no thoughts of love or happiness. Because all of that had been stripped from me, it had been piled up and burned as I watched it drain from my body and turn to nothing more than another memory.

I remembered being happy, but I didn't feel it. I remembered being loved, but that slowly faded. Until he walked into my life.

Cole. . . Cole gave me a piece of that back. His fingers gave me new air, his lips gave me new life. I felt different, I felt alive.

His tongue tangled with mine, licking and dancing, sliding and twirling. Words were lost between breaths, questions and answers were left for another moment.

Wrapping his arms around my back, he pulled me off the bed and onto his lap. Flat palms pressed against my shoulder blades, the tips of his fingers dug in hard, holding me in place.

My mind was gone. There was no more rope keeping me there, there were no more locks holding me in. I was lost in Cole.

“Tell me you'll stay,” he whispered against my lips as he continued to kiss me. His hands found the hem of my shirt and slipped it over my head. “Tell me you'll let me protect you, I need you to let me do this.”

Curving my back, my spine dipped in, forcing my breasts up. My nipples were hard as diamonds, eagerly begging him to taste them. I heard what he had said, every word made their way inside my ears and to my brain.

But I couldn't speak.

Dragging his tongue over my nipple, his words rippled over my heated flesh. “I have this horrible feeling that something is going to happen to you.” Pushing his lips out, he sucked hard. “Let me keep you safe.” Suckling my tit, he let my breast fall free with a loud slurp.

All I could do was moan. I moaned for him to keep going, I moaned so he could know I wanted him. I moaned a melody that was full of need and desire, drunk on him, drowning in him.

“Tell me, Locke, tell me I can protect you. I need to hear you say it.” Raking his fingers through my hair, he tugged my head back.

My eyes snapped open as his nails clenched my scalp. He looked pained, as if he was holding onto more words, things he knew and couldn't say. Things he wanted to let out but wouldn't dare to speak them out loud.

“Tell me you'll stay here, please just tell me that.” His eyes darted between mine, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip.

Nodding, I curled my arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. “I'll stay, Cole, I won't leave.”

His kiss turned from gentle and hungry to dangerous and consuming. It was incredible. I knew how it looked, I knew how it sounded; it was completely insane; but right then, all I needed was him.

Rocking his hips, his engorged cock rubbed against my sex. I could feel it throbbing beneath his jeans, pulsing with his heartbeat. Every thump of his chest was shadowed by his length.

Cole locked his eyes on mine, allowing them to be my safety. I could see he was doing this because he thought he had to. I could see that he truly believed something bad was coming my way and he wanted to keep me safe from it.

That look sent my nerves into a frenzy. My blood was boiling, my heart was pounding, my lungs were working double time to make sure I stayed awake.

I never had one person show so much concern for me. Not once had anyone ever took it upon themselves to make sure I was alright.

That meant everything to me.

“Take me, Cole. Take me and show me how much it means to you for me to stay here.” Raking my nails down his back, I tore his shirt over his head. My fingers traced thick black lines and swirls of color across his chest.

He was decorated like a fine piece of art, a mosaic of skin that I wanted to explore with my fingers, my lips, my tongue. Leaning in, I licked his chest, I tasted the dew of salty sweat.

Trailing my fingertips over his abs, I followed the thin line of hair from his naval to the top of his pants. Cole shivered as I reached the seam, moaning low and feral.

Popping the button free, I slowly tugged the zipper down one metal tooth at a time.

Groaning, he dropped his head back as I slid my hand inside and curled my hand tight around his thick cock. His body jerked, trembling under me as I pulled him free. The hard muscle tensed in my hand, throbbing against my palm.

Stroking him, I corkscrewed my hand up and down, squeezing the crown as I reached the tip. Exhaling, Cole growled as his eyes shut tight.

Pushing my panties to the side, I pressed up on my knees and guided him to my wet center. There was nothing else I wanted, nothing else I needed right then, but him. I felt delirious, like a starving animal that wouldn't survive unless it was fed.

Opening my thighs wider, I sank down, allowing him to fill me. His hips thrusted up with a jerk, his cock pulsed as it hit my lower belly, causing my shoulders to crumple forward and fall against his chest.

“Fuck, Locke, you feel so good, so pure, like you were meant for me.” His hands found my hips, pushing me down so every last bit of him could be inside me. “Can you feel it? Do you feel it?”

I moaned in harmony with his growl, as nails guided me up and fingers slammed me down. My knees burned against the wood floor as I rode him, my  skin blushed like I had spent all day laying under the sun.

A glimmer of recognition, of an old memory sparked inside my head. The unknown face of a man—a boy—a faceless vision I had long forgotten. But I forced it away, I refused the memory permission to enter.

A habit I had long since perfected. When a memory from my past tried to break free, I slapped it back down. Most of the time I didn't even realize I was doing it. According to the therapist I had seen as a kid, it wasn't healthy to stuff my memories.

But they hadn't been there inside that room with me. They didn't have to suffer the scream of their sister over and over inside their head like water torture.

This wasn't the time for my head to start springing holes like a rusty pipe. I didn't want the memory there, I didn't want it to materialize. I fought with my thoughts as my body tried to stay in control.

His teeth bit my neck, bringing me back to the moment as our bodies blended, sharing breaths, sharing heartbeats and all-consuming need.

My stomach tightened as Cole met my rhythm, pounding up when I ground down. This was what I needed. I didn't need the past, I needed someone to help me forget it.

Tingles rose in my gut, spreading up my belly and around my chest. And as I came long and hard, swallowing his cock and refusing to let it break free. . .

I knew that being lost was better than being found.

I knew that I'd rather be locked up with him than trapped inside myself.

I wasn't free, and yet I felt more free than I had in years.