I almost didn't go to school the next day. Even without whatever it was that had happened with Kaden the previous night, I didn't want to go. My sister was at school, my brother and Alisha at work and Rosa was with Alisha's parents. I didn't want my mom to be alone, but she had our phone numbers and she practically kicked me out herself.

"I'm fine, Tash! Get going. I'm not going to drop dead today, you know."

"Mom-" I turned around in the doorway, on the verge of tears, "please don't say that - please don't say you're-"

"Go!" She yelled, waving me off. "You're going to be late!"

So I left. Kaden messaged me while I was on the bus and just the sight of his name on the screen made my belly do a giddy little flip.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." I texted back before adding a smiley so it didn't look so abrupt.

"Good. Have lunch with me."

I was tempted to tell him to ask nicely but that might have given him the impression I didn't want to eat lunch with him. Which I did. I very much did. Two things had been on my mind since the previous evening. My mother, of course. And Kaden Barlow. I didn't dare to even think about what would have happened if Ray hadn't come home when he did. If Kaden and I had actually driven back up to the hills in his ridiculous SUV. Was that all it took? I'd never even kissed a boy before what we joking came to call the Night Of The Cornbread. Kissing boys had been something I was secretly quite worried about. Doing it right. What if our teeth bumped into each other? What if I drooled?

I hadn't even had time to think about it. I still wasn't sure what had happened, why I'd suddenly pounced on him like a cat in heat. It was probably because I was already feeling so emotional about my mother. But it wasn't like me to lose control like that and no matter how gorgeous Kaden was (and trust me, he was gorgeous) it bothered me that I could act so out of character. That wasn't what I did. I was the one who kept herself - and everything else - together.

We met in the school cafeteria for lunch. I could feel eyes on me as I sat with him at one of the long, plastic tables - people were looking. And why not? Kaden Barlow was a football player. Not just a football player but the quarterback, most likely to make it pro and the most popular guy at Reinhardt High. What was he doing with me? I wasn't unpopular, but I wasn't a member of the social elite, either. Everyone was curious about what was going on and I knew the halls would be buzzing with the news all afternoon.

"Hey," Kaden said, smiling when he looked up and saw me.

"Hey." I sat down and neither of us said anything for a few awkward moments. It was Kaden who broke the silence.

"How are you feeling?"

I wasn't sure what he meant - how was I feeling about making out with him last night or how was I feeling about my mom? He was wearing a grey t-shirt with our school logo on the chest and just being close to him made me think about how big and strong his hands had felt the previous night, when they were on my body.

"I'm OK," I told him. "I'm, uh, I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand last night. I'm not usually like that but I was just really emotional about my mom and-"

"Yeah," Kaden said, cutting me off. "I get it, Tasha. I understand if you want to take things slowly."

Take things slowly? What did that mean? The way he was talking it was like we were already in a relationship. Were we? I didn't have any experience with those - is that how it happened? You make out with someone and then you're together? Did I even want to be in a relationship with Kaden Barlow?

Yes. I did. That was what was bothering me so much, making me so awkward. The instinct to hide my true feelings - and the vulnerability that came with them - welled up inside me.

"You're leaving after we graduate, right?" I asked. "I mean, for college? Have you decided where you're going to go yet?"

Kaden probably knew what I was getting at. "Yeah," he said, running one of those big hands through his messy, golden hair. "Probably State. Full scholarship and I'll only be a few hours away from here - hell, it's one of the best programs in the whole country. Where are you going?"

I looked down and took a deep breath. I'd already had the same conversation with a few of my friends and I braced myself for the reaction. "Actually I'm not going," I said quietly. "Not right away anyway. My mom's health is really bad and my brother can't support the family on his own. Maybe in a couple of years, it's not really a big thing."

To my surprise, Kaden didn't instantly start trying to convince me to go to college, anyway. Instead he just nodded his head. "Yeah, your mom. Family's more important than school, right? And you've got time."

We spent the next couple of weeks in an odd limbo, not just friends - at least, not that it seemed - but not boyfriend and girlfriend either. It was my fault. There was the constant background worry about my mom, the little jolt of dread every time my phone made a sound. There was also my own natural aversion to risk. He was leaving. Even if he went to State - and it wasn't confirmed he would - that was three hours away and I didn't have a car. I also knew how college went for people from small towns. I'd seen it happen to cousins and the older siblings of friends. No matter how badly they wanted to maintain connections to home, they always fell into a different lifestyle, a different crowd. And underneath all of it was that same old fear of trusting someone - a man, and one I didn't know very well.

The limbo-state ended the day Kaden brought me the 'cornbread' he made for me. I was sitting outside in the sunshine with Lena when he strode up with an earnest look on his face.

"Hi Kaden," Lena said, "what's up?"

"Oh," he replied, shrugging. "Not much. I actually - Tasha, can I talk to you? Privately I mean?"

Lena got up and made a 'call me' motion with her hand before leaving me alone with Kaden. He sat down. Did he look nervous?

"Is something wrong?" I asked. Kaden wasn't the nervous type. "Did something happen?"

"No, no, nothing like that," he chuckled, reaching into his bag. "I just - I made you something. Actually I made you four somethings, but this is the only one that worked out."

I opened the cake tin he handed me and immediately started to giggle. It was the saddest cornbread I had ever seen. For one thing, it was white. It was also flat and rather hard.

"Aww," Kaden groaned, "come on, it isn't that bad. Is it?"

I looked closer. There were little yellow chunks of...was that corn?

"Oh my God," I said, unable to stop laughing. "Kaden, is that corn? Like, is that pieces of actual corn?"

He was embarrassed - and completely adorable - rubbing his forehead with his hand and shaking his head. "Yeah," he replied, finally. "Yeah, it's pieces of corn. I looked up a bunch of recipes online! And they all said to use cornmeal, but we didn't have any and I don't really know what that is so I just figured I could use more flour and add a can of corn instead."

I took a small bite of Kaden's strange little corn-cake and that was enough. It was awful. He knew it, too.

"Aw dammit," he chuckled, not quite able to keep his face straight. "I thought that might work. Shit."

"Did you even taste this?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nope. I just thought the corn from a can would make it - you know, corny."

"Corny?"

"Yeah. I thought it would make it taste like-"

I burst out laughing all over again and Kaden joined me, even though I could see he was genuinely disappointed. It took a few minutes for me to regain my composure but when I did I reached out and rubbed his shoulder.

"Hey," I said, still smiling. "Kaden, hey."

"What?"

"This is one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me."

"Don't." He told me. "It's awful. I don't even know why I brought it. I'm such a dumbass."

"No," I said, more insistent now, turning towards him. "I'm not going to lie, it doesn't taste good. But you made it, didn't you?"

"Yes I did, Tasha. Yes I did. I think you can tell I made it."

Every time I was alone with Kaden he did something to me. I don't know how he did it, but he charmed me. I looked over at him - the big, burly, blond quarterback with a jaw like a superhero and a big, sheepish grin on his face. The cornbread was bad. But Kaden wasn't. Neither of us even noticed when he leaned in to kiss me, sending the container and its contents tumbling onto the ground.

When we came up for air, my heart was pounding and the blood was rushing in my veins.

"Fuck, Tasha..." Kaden whispered, running his fingers down the side of my face.

"What?"

"You're so pretty. I love that dimple - there, that one - the one that shows up on your cheek whenever you're smiling hard."

He bent down for another kiss and I felt a little sliver of control slip away as his tongue slid between my lips.

"Natasha Greeley! Kaden Barlow!"

We both sat straight up as the voice of vice-principal Ward boomed across the field towards us.

"Come on, you two! Not one school grounds! Let's go."

Kaden turned to me and whispered: "Busted." But he didn't get up. Mr. Ward started across the grass towards us and I stood up.

"Kaden!" I said. "Come on, we have to go."

"I can't." He said, making no attempt to stand up.

"What?! Why not?"

"Because I have a huge fucking hard-on and I'm wearing sweatpants, that's why not."

I covered my mouth, stifling a giggle, but not because what Kaden had said was funny. I just didn't know how else to react to the matter-of-fact way he'd just told me he was hard. It was shocking. It was also exciting.

"Come on, Mr. Barlow. Back inside." Mr. Ward barked as he got to where Kaden was still sitting on the grass. "You too, missy. Don't you have class? I'm willing to let this slide because it's the first time I've seen you involved in any of these...shenanigans, Natasha. But don't let me catch you again."

"Thank you, Mr. Ward." I said, trying to distract the vice-principal from the fact that Kaden was still refusing to get up. It didn't work.

"Barlow! Back inside! Now!"

Kaden looked at Mr. Ward, shrugged, and got up. "OK sir, if you say so."

It could not have been more obvious. I saw Mr. Ward notice and turn his head away in disgust. As for me, I couldn't take my eyes off the obvious, thrilling bulge in Kaden's sweatpants. He looked at Mr. Ward and gave him a 'what can you do?' look.

The vice-principal rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Barlow. Really? Right. You stay out here until you've cooled off. And you, Natasha, come on, let's go."

I allowed myself to be led back into school by Mr. Ward, but not before bending down to retrieve the container of cornbread and stuff it in my backpack. It tasted bad, but Kaden had made it for me and that meant it was important.

An hour later, in math class, a text from Kaden arrived.

"Sorry about that. Didn't know bad cornbread had such an effect on me. Meet me after last class?"

My head was spinning too much to text anything except a smiley back to him. For the entire rest of the class I thought about Kaden Barlow. And as soon as the bell rang I made my way to my locker, where I knew he'd be waiting, doing everything I could not to break into a run. Everything inside me was in a kind of sweet, hot turmoil.

And he was there, waiting for me, leaning against the wall and smiling. Did he know what he was doing to me? Did he know what that smile did? What those massive, muscled shoulders did?

"Hey, Kaden," I said, trying to make it not-completely-obvious how desperate I was to see him.

Five minutes later we were in his SUV, all over each other. He didn't have to tell me how much he wanted me. I didn't even have to look down to see it. I could feel it in the way he was kissing me, something demanding and hungry and completely male.

"Kaden," I gasped as we paused for a second. "I - I have to tell you something."

His hand was on my thigh, right up at the top. Less than an inch away from where it felt like all the neediness inside me was concentrated.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice gruff and slow. "What is it, Tasha?"

I waited a few seconds, trying to calm down. I wanted to go with it. Every cell in my body was screaming at me to just let go, but there was another part of me that sensed how close I was - and how deep the consequences could be if I let it happen.

"I'm-" I started, unable to meet Kaden's gaze. "I'm, uh, ha ha, sorry, this is kind of embarrassing."

He squeezed my thigh and lifted one of my hands to his mouth to kiss my fingertips. "I think I know what you're going to say, Tasha. It's OK. Most of us are still virgins, you know."

So he did know what I'd been about to say. I looked up quickly, hoping against hope that I was interpreting what he said correctly. "What?" I asked. "You're a-"

"No," he replied, shaking his head a little ruefully. "No, not me. Just - you know, a lot of people."

"Ugh!" I groaned leaning back against the seat as images of Kaden with others girls took over my head.

"What?" He teased. "Did you think I was? None of the football players are virgins, Tasha. It's not, uh, it's not really possible."

I turned and looked out the window. Students were still trickling out of the school and the sun was still high in the sky. High school would be over in less than six weeks. Then a short summer. Then...what? The thought of that - the fact that in just over three months Kaden would leave Little Falls and that if everything everyone said about him came true, he would never come back - sobered me right out of my lust-drunk haze.

"I guess you're right," I said, still looking out the window. "You must have girls throwing themselves at you all the time. It's going to get even worse when you go to college isn't it?"

I heard him sigh and felt the SUV move as he shifted himself in his seat. "I don't know, Tasha. I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe I'll get injured. Or maybe it'll turn out that I suck."

"I'm not talking about football." I told him.

"I know you're not. You're talking about girls. What do you want me to say? I can't change how I've lived my life so far. Until I started hanging out with you I never even wanted to."

I turned towards Kaden and eyed him. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged and grasped the steering wheel in his hands. God, I even liked the way his hands looked doing that. "It just means I - damn, Tasha, I like you, OK? Do you not see that? Do you know how much shit I'm taking from my teammates for following you around like a lost puppy? I just mean that it never really mattered before - with the girls, I mean. It didn't matter who they were. Now, it matters."

"So you're basically just a man-slut is what you're saying?" I asked, intending my comment to be half-playful and then shutting up when it didn't come out that way at all.

"Yeah, I guess." Kaden replied. "I don't know if you know how guys are. We're all just like these horny animals. I never really thought there was any reason to turn down p-"

He stopped himself before the word 'pussy' came out of his mouth but we both knew what he'd been about to say.

"It's OK, Kaden. I'm not a church lady, you know. You can say the word 'pussy' around me."

"I know!" He said, loudly. "I know that, Tasha! It's just I don't want to. I don't want to talk that way around you. You make me feel different and I don't know why. I'm not blaming any of this weird behavior on you, you know. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me."

He leaned forward and gently banged his head against the top of the steering wheel a few times as what he'd just said sunk in.

"Is that true?" I asked.

"What?"

"What you just said, about wanting to be different around me."

He shot me a look. "Oh, it's true. Do you think I'd be saying all this embarrassing shit if it wasn't true? Jesus, Tasha, I sound like such a fucking wuss."

"No you don't." I told him. "You don't sound like a wuss, Kaden. You just sound like - maybe like you're kind of sick of being a man-slut?"

Kaden laughed that deep, rumbling laugh of his and shook his head. "Yeah, I think so. You want to hear something fucked up?"

"Uh, sure," I said, not sure where the conversation was going.

"One of the colleges that's trying to get me to attend - well, one of the people who works for them - basically offered me a hooker last week."

I felt my eyes widening. "Really?!"

"Yeah. I mean, he didn't say 'we have hookers for you' but he really heavily hinted that if I went for an orientation visit, there would be a lot of 'pretty girls.' I've heard about that kind of thing happening, but damn, even I was surprised."

We sat in the Suburban talking until the sun started to go down and I knew I had to get home and deal with dinner. I have to admit I was a little shocked by what Kaden had told me about being offered 'girls' just to pay a visit to a college. I was vaguely aware that college football players were treated like gods but that was so sleazy I could hardly believe it. Was that how it was going to be for him, even if they weren't hookers? Just like high school but with even more and prettier women? When we got to my house I leaned over to give Kaden a kiss on the cheek - I didn't know who was in the house or who might be looking out the window.

"Tasha." He said, when I went to open the door. "Hold up."

I turned back towards him. "What?"

"Go to prom with me."

He was trying to make it seem like he'd only just remembered to ask the question but I could tell from the look on his face that that wasn't the case.

I smiled. "Are you pretending like you only just remembered to ask me that? Like it slipped your mind or something?"

Kaden held up his hands and laughed. "Yeah, you got me. So what do you say? Go to prom with a football jock and make me look good in the photos?"

Prom. I had already planned to go to prom - with Lena and the rest of the girls. But they knew about Kaden and I knew they wouldn't begrudge me an actual date. Before any worries about prom-night clichés could enter my mind I just opened my mouth and said the word "yes" to Kaden. He responded by slapping the dashboard and yelling "Yesssss!" loud enough that I was pretty sure people in the house could hear it.

We just stayed there grinning at each other like a couple of idiots for a few seconds before I said I had to get dinner ready.

"Cool," he replied. "See you tomorrow then?"

"See you tomorrow."

At the last minute I climbed back into the front seat so we could give each other one last kiss. Kaden added another one right on my dimple and I practically floated the short distance up to the front door and into the house.

As soon as the door was closed I saw my mother on the couch, watching me. Beside her sat a small silver oxygen tank and I tried not to look at the plastic tubing that snaked its way up to her nostrils. She needed it, I knew that. I just hated how old it made her look.

"You like that boy, Tash?" She asked, the corner of her mouth twitching with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"You guess, do you? Looks like young love to me, girl. You just be careful, OK? You're going to be a great mother some day, Tash, but we've already got one baby in the-"

"Mom!" I screeched, as heat rose in my cheeks. "It's not like that."

"Oh isn't it? Well it will be soon, you mark my words. I saw the way you two were looking at each other."

So someone had been watching us. "Do you have any ideas for dinner?" I asked, desperate to change the topic to literally anything else.

"I'm not picky, you make what you feel like eating yourself. Ray won't be home until ten so we can leave his in the fridge."

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying to coax something out of her. She wasn't eating enough. Ray had called the doctor and confirmed that our mother needed to halt the weight loss that had already started and we were all doing our best to address it with her gently, without making her feel like she was being bossed around or treated like a child. My mother was like me in that way - she couldn't stand being patronized.

"Well, if it makes no difference to you, I wouldn't mind using up the rest of that ham that Alisha cooked on Sunday. Maybe with some peas or beans? I put some in the fridge to soak overnight."

"Mom," I scolded, gently. "You don't need to do that. I'm handling it, OK?"

My mother waved her frail-looking hand at me, laughing. "I can still soak beans, Tash. You can't just let me do nothing, you know, I'll die of boredom."

I wished so much that she would stop making jokes about her death. I knew she did it as a coping mechanism but it made my heart ache.

"Alright, mom," I told her. "That's OK. Thank you for soaking the beans for me."

I headed into the kitchen with my mother's affectionate "Damn right!" hanging in the air behind me.