I woke up bleary-eyed and feeling like the human equivalent of warmed-up leftovers at about three in the afternoon. Alisha was sitting on the foot of my bed looking at me and I could immediately see from the look on her face that she knew what had happened.

"Your friend Lena called me," she said, before I could say anything. "I'm so sorry, Tash. I know this won't mean much to you right now but I know two things. The first thing I know is how you're feeling. Heartbreak is awful but your first heartbreak? That's the worst. The second thing I know is that you'll get over this. It doesn't feel like it now, but you will. There's nothing I can say to fix how you're feeling but just know that it passes. It does. You just need to get through it, to let time pass and believe it'll get better. Because it will."

For a few seconds I didn't know what Alisha was talking about but soon - too soon - the previous night came rushing back and all I could do was lift a pillow to my face to try and stifle the sound of my crying.

"I've already taken care of dinner," Alisha told me. "And I've got some clean clothes for you laid out so come on, let's get you up and into the shower."

I spent the next few days wandering around the house like a zombie. Even my posture was different - I could feel the way my head sagged low and my shoulders slumped forward. Just putting one foot in front of the other seemed to take an enormous amount of effort. And everybody around me made sure I was never alone. My friends messaged me constantly, Andrea delivered a tray of the famous 'crack brownies' her mom used to make us - and that I used to devour - when we were children.

Kaden blew up my phone with messages. I deleted them all unread. And anytime I was tempted to read one of them, just a single one, someone was there to set me straight. He tried to talk to me at school, too, but my friends were always there, forming a protective barrier around me and giving him the evil eye.

One day, he managed to find me alone at Lena's locker, which I was temporarily using as my own - precisely so he wouldn't be able to run into me.

"Tasha," he pleaded, before I had time to run away. "Tasha, please talk to me. I have no idea what's going on. I've called you a million times. I don't know-"

"Fuck off, Kaden." I hissed, surprising even myself at the amount of rage that was boiling up in my chest.

I didn't look at him but I could sense him there beside me with his hands on his head, doing everything he could to play the baffled innocent.

"Fuck off? Tasha - what the fuck, what the fuck is going on with you? Why are you-"

"What's going on with me?!" I yelled, spinning around so I was facing him and so angry it felt like my throat was closing and the words were barely making it out. "What going on with ME? I honestly don't even know what to say to that, Kaden. I can't believe you're asking what's going on with me. As if somehow I'm the cause of this. As if any of this is my fault! As if-"

Lena was suddenly beside me, physically pushing Kaden back, away from me. "Get away from her, Kaden. Right now."

Then Sadie showed up, too. I watched as they stared absolute daggers at Kaden and as he, seeing that they were serious, hung his head and turned around to walk away. I made the mistake of looking at his face just as he did it, too. It looked like he was going to cry. And there was nothing I could do about the sudden rush of pity in my heart at the sight of him trudging away.

"Don't," Lena admonished, her voice firm. "Don't, Tasha. That's exactly what he wants - you to feel sorry for him. Don't do it. He didn't even try to apologize, did he? Just did that stupid man thing of pretending like he's so innocent and he has no idea why the silly, hysterical woman is so upset."

She was right. He hadn't apologized. As she spoke I could feel my own heart hardening again, just as quickly as it had softened.

My friends ushered me around Reinhardt High like bodyguards, absolutely fierce and resolute in their loyalty. When I wasn't on the verge of tears over Kaden's betrayal I was on it at the unshakable love of my girlfriends and my family as they encircled the wounded member of the tribe and took care of me.

That isn't to say anything about those days after what happened was pleasant. Someone once told me that even with catastrophic physical injuries, a human being can stay conscious, even up and walking around, for a lot longer than anyone would expect, mostly due to adrenaline. It's sometimes an hour or more later that the body seems to acknowledge or accept that it is in deep trouble, at which point the person will collapse. I think the first few days after that disastrous prom night were the emotional equivalent of a wounded person stumbling around on the highway, grievously injured, after a bad crash. I was in full denial mode.

It didn't work. It worked for a couple, maybe three days, and then something inside me just refused to listen to my mind's furious demands to get up, to keep going, to not let anyone - even myself - see how badly I was hurt. Everyone had my back. When cooking a simple dinner for the family transformed into an impossible task, Alisha had my back. A few times my friends showed up with take-out or homemade soup and sandwiches. It wasn't just the cooking, though. Alisha came home one night to find me curled up in a ball on the sofa, oblivious to my niece who I was supposed to be watching. She was kind about it but I cried so hard I almost threw up and then retreated to my bed to fester alone.

School started to slip, too. Luckily by that point, I was too close to graduation to do any real damage - and I wasn't going to college anyway so what did it matter? I just seemed to go into a kind of zombie-mode. Constantly tired and when I wasn't tired - or asleep - perpetually on the verge of tears. It was terrifying, the feeling of becoming another person - someone even I didn't recognize.

It was the first time in my life that I ever caved in like that. I was the strong one. Everyone always said it - family, friends, teachers. I believed it, too. I was the one who stood up straight and got things done in even the toughest circumstances. Until I wasn't. Until life smacked me right across the face with the brutal truth - I was just as fragile as everybody else, just as prone to that awful robotic state of going through the motions of life while feeling nothing but sadness every waking moment. No matter how much I told myself to stop thinking about Kaden I couldn't do it. It didn't make sense.

'Why?' The question lay there at the forefront of my consciousness. Why? Why had he done it? And why had I fallen so easily for someone who didn't appear to feel any of the things he said he did? I could not get my head around any of it. And so I tortured myself, constantly turning my relationship with Kaden over and over and over in my mind, as if expecting to find some new, previously-missed detail that would explain it all.

Graduation day came and went. I put on my gown and mortarboard and walked across the stage to the enthusiastic cheers of my family - even my mother, who had made a point of coming out - and friends. It felt underwhelming. About half of the grad class was heading off the college, including a few of my own close friends. But I was staying in Little Falls and as far as I could see, life wasn't going to change much outside of the absence of school.

We went out for dinner after the ceremony, to the modest little restaurant where all of our celebratory family meals had taken place for as long as I could remember. Everyone came - even my mom. I still felt terrible most of the time but I managed, that evening, to maintain a somewhat cheerful demeanor. As the evening wore on it started to feel slightly less false. At one point Ray tapped his fork on his water glass and gave me a little nod.

"Natasha," he said, getting to his feet and ignoring the sideways looks from the other tables - it wasn't the sort of restaurant where a person made speeches, not that it mattered to Ray at all. "First of all, I just want to say congratulations. You've worked so hard - for yourself and for this family. I'm proud of you and I'm proud to be your brother."

I could feel my eyes beginning to well up, but looking around the table I could see I wasn't the only one. Ray continued:

"I know - we all know - that you're having a tough time lately. You try to hide it from us, I think because that's just what you do - you try to protect your family from pain and hurt. But we're your family, Tash. We see how difficult this is for you. And what I want you to know is that you're not alone. You're not alone right now, going through this. We've all been where you are. I have, Alisha has, CeeCee and Rosa certainly will. Hell, mom's been there, too. Right, mom?"

I looked over at my mother as the tears finally spilled down my cheeks and she was smiling at me, nodding. "Oh yes, Tasha. I've been there. And I don't just mean with your father. Heartbreak is just part of life, especially when you're so young and every experience feels so raw."

I looked back at Ray, who was giving me a pointed look. "Listen," he said. "What I'm trying to say to you, Tash, is that this is normal. No one thinks you're falling apart, no one thinks you've done something wrong. We're here for you and we know you would be here for us - and that you will be there for your little sister and your niece when their turn comes. So we've got your back, little sister. We've all got your back. For as long as you need - which, believe me, won't be as long as you think. And when the day comes that it's me who needs a hand or a little patience, I know you'll do the same. We love you and we're so grateful to have such a smart, funny, brave person in our family."

Ray's voice cracked on that last word - family - and I couldn't hold it together any longer. What had been a few furtive tears turned into a little sob and I got up from my chair and went to my brother so we could wrap our arms around each other.

"I mean it," he whispered in my ear. "We got you, Tash. We got you."

After Ray I went around the table, hugging everyone, thanking them for their love and patience. By the time we left the restaurant it was almost nine o'clock. It hit me while we were walking to the car.

"Oh my God." I said out loud.

Alisha, who was walking next to me with her arm around my shoulders, looked at me.

"What, Tash?"

I turned to her, slightly disbelieving. But no, it was true. "I haven't thought about Kaden once since we got here."

She squeezed me a little tighter and grinned. "Yeah. That's how it happens. Every day you just think about it less and less - some days are good, some days are bad, but eventually you hardly think about it at all."

For the first time since I'd seen my boyfriend kissing Kelsey at our high school prom, it occurred to me that I might, actually, manage to get over it.