25
Knuckles comes to the doctor with me for my very first appointment, and a scan confirms the pregnancy and tells me I’m six weeks along, which is pretty much how long we’ve known each other.
How much can someone’s life change in six weeks?
I found Knuckles, quit my job, and became pregnant, all in that short period of time.
“I know you’re all independent woman and everything, but you know you don’t have to find another job right now. No one is going to want to hire someone who will be going on maternity leave in less than eight months,” he tells me on the way home.
“No one knows I’m pregnant though,” I point out.
“That’s not being honest,” he says, like he’s suddenly a man who follows all rules society sets for him.
“All is fair in job hunting,” I fire back, putting the window down to let some air into the car. “I need a job, Knuckles. I’m going to run out of money soon, and I don’t like relying on anyone. I’m no scrub.”
“You’re pregnant,” he reminds me.
“As if I’ve forgotten,” I grumble, glancing out the window. “Women work when they’re pregnant.”
“Mine doesn’t,” he says, taking a deep breath, as if to calm him down. “Especially when she doesn’t have to. I have plenty of money, you don’t have to worry about that shit anymore.”
He makes it sound like eating and paying bills is a trivial thing. And yeah, I bought a bigger house because I never planned on moving from it, and I never expected to lose my job, but I guess if worse came to worse I could sell it. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let him pay my mortgage.
“If I get offered a good position, I’m not going to say no,” I declare, turning my head to look at him. “I’m pregnant, not disabled. And I work in an office, so I just have to sit there in front of my laptop all day, it’s not physical labor.”
“Why are you so difficult?” he groans, getting out of the car to put in the code for the gate. When it starts to open, he gets back inside and parks the car. “I just want to make it easy on you, that’s all I’m trying to do. I’m not trying to be controlling, so don’t take it as that.”
“I know,” I reply, softening. I reach out and take his hand into mine. “I do. Just . . . let me take some time. I only just found out I’m going to have a baby, and it’s kind of hard to process that I won’t be working for some time.”
I’ve never not worked, ever since I was fourteen.
But now I’m going to want to spend time with the baby. I wonder if I can do some work from home and have the best of both worlds. I know that I need to do something, it’s not like me to sit idly. I like to be useful.
“Okay,” he says softly, getting out to open my door for me. He’s treating me like I’m fragile, which I find amusing. This isn’t his first baby, so he knows what to expect, but I have no idea.
Are there classes or something I can go to that can tell me what the hell I’m meant to be doing? I make a mental note to research that. Hand in hand, we walk into the clubhouse, when all of a sudden everyone jumps out from nowhere, yelling congratulations.
Erin is holding a sign that reads, CONGRATS ON GETTING KNOCKED UP while Rogue’s reads, KNUCKLES’S SPERM FOR PRESIDENT. Even Gage is holding one, his stating that RAVEN SPERM IS IMMORTAL.
I can’t even.
Trust them to joke about this, and then turn it into a reason to have a party.
Everyone hugs me and says congrats, Erin touching my belly. “I can’t believe you’re going to have a baby. A Raven! Holy shit, I didn’t see this one coming.”
“No one did,” I grumble, unable to keep the smile off my face. “But here we are.”
Erin outdid herself with a delicious platter, so creative and beautiful it looks like she got it catered.
“Dude, who knew you could do shit like this?” I say, dipping a carrot stick into the French-onion dip. “This is amazing.”
“Not every day your cousin gets knocked up,” she replies, cutting some Brie and placing it on a cracker. “Especially when I thought you and Knuckles were over. Whenever we get a chance you are going to fill me in on everything I’ve missed, you hear me?”
“Of course, who else do I have to tell all this shit to?” I reply, grinning. I haven’t told Akeira yet, because I’m waiting to do it in person when I’m catching up with her at lunch tomorrow. I know she’s going to lose her shit, so I’m going to record it.
Katie comes and stands next to us, congratulating me.
“You must be due around the same time as me, give or take,” she says, smiling at me. “I’m glad there’s someone going through the same thing as me.”
I laugh at that. “Yeah, well, I guess we’re in it together now, huh?”
She looks so much better now, color back in her cheeks, and she’s put on a little weight, making her look much healthier. She touches her stomach. “I’m just praying that the drugs didn’t do anything to the baby. I’ve been reading up on it, and there can be lasting effects, even though I stopped early on in the pregnancy.”
“I’m sure it will be fine,” I tell her, studying her. “You aren’t on drugs now, and that’s what matters.”
“I hope so,” she says, an odd look flashing in her eyes.
A look of bitterness and regret.
I’m about to tell her not to stress when Knuckles lifts me up from behind. “Look at this, Erin. Who knew you were so creative?”
“Not me,” she replies, resting her arm against his. “This is the first time I’ve tried anything like this, but I’m happy with the way it came out. Only the best for my cousin and my bestie, right?”
Knuckles puts me down and rests his hands protectively on my belly. “Should have known you lot would make this into a party. You’ll probably turn my funeral into a party.”
“Probably,” Erin agrees, tucking her dark hair back behind her ear. “I tried to invite the girls, but Flora said no, so that’s why they’re not here, not that we didn’t want them to be here.”
“She said no? Did you tell her what the party was for?” Knuckles asks, bending forward to grab some nuts from the grazing platter.
“Yeah, I said to welcome their new sibling. Did you not tell her yet?” She sounds confused. “Because I just assumed that she knew, because you mentioned that the girls knew. Wouldn’t they have told her anyway?”
“I forgot to tell her, but yeah the girls might have,” Knuckles replies, not sounding like he cares either way. “But it was probably shitty to hear the news from someone she’s never even met.” He pauses, and then adds, “Actually, she’s probably going to be shitty anyway.”
Great.
I don’t have any experience with the whole baby-mama thing, but I think it’s important that we all meet and get along, for the kids’ sake. Do I reach out? No, this is up to Knuckles to handle however he sees fit. It’s his past, not mine.
“Well, she should be less of a snob then,” Erin says with an eye roll. “Now, are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Do we have any name ideas? Erin is a classic name, don’t you think? It’s just one of those names that never goes out of fashion and is liked by all, young and old.”
“No,” Knuckles and I reply at the same time. “And we haven’t discussed it yet, still trying to process the fact that it’s happening,” I tell her, moving out of Knuckles’s hold to grab more food. “I should probably tell my parents too. How’s your mom doing by the way?”
“Much better, she’s at home resting. She loved the flowers you sent her,” she tells me, watching Ace as he approaches. “It was quite the scare, but she’s going to be fine.”
“That’s good.”
“So whose idea were the signs?” I ask Ace as he appears next to Erin. “Also very creative.”
He laughs and wraps his arm around his woman. “We do the signs at every party. It’s just that added touch, don’t you think? The funnier the better.”
“It’s definitely something,” I reply, hiding my smile. “I guess I’ll look forward to them at every future event.”
“We come up with some good ones,” he says proudly, looking at Erin. “Ask Erin, she knows.”
“Yeah, the ‘Sorry we were assholes’ one has to be my favorite thus far,” she tells me with a short laugh. “Although they really were assholes, so the sign was valid.”
“Sounds like a story I need to hear,” I say with an eyebrow wiggle. “Does the ‘we’ part mean the whole MC were assholes, or just a select few?”
“All of them, but a select few were the ones who did the crime, the rest of them were just in on it,” she says, narrowing her eyes. “Although I guess I can’t blame the rest of them. MC brotherhood, and all of that.”
“We need an MC sisterhood,” I tell her, eating a slice of Brie with a cracker. “Although there aren’t many other women around here. No wonder you wanted me around the clubhouse.”
“Yeah, the other women who come here don’t last very long,” she says, a contemplative look on her pretty face that turns to a smirk. “Usually one night.”
“All right, that’s enough you two,” Ace murmurs, turning Erin’s face toward him and giving her a kiss.
“Are you trying to distract me? Because if you are, it’s working,” she replies, batting her lashes at him.
I laugh at the two of them, and the fact that Ace obviously doesn’t want Erin making jokes about the other members of the MC’s sex lives.
Which is kind of fair, but also pretty funny. I can only imagine the things she must see when she’s here for a long period of time.
We spend the next hour eating and chatting with everyone, but mostly laughing.
When Ace comes up to Knuckles and says something in his ear I don’t think anything of it, and when Knuckles heads out the front with him, I stay with Erin.
“Any news from your lawyer?” she asks me, stuffing her face with crackers and dip.
“Just that we’re still waiting for a court date,” I tell her. “These things take time, unfortunately, or so I’ve been told.”
All of a sudden Willow and Westley enter the room, running straight to me and hugging me.
“Hello,” I tell them, smiling. “I was told you guys weren’t coming, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
Never in my wildest dreams did I picture myself being with someone who has children.
But here I am, and I really like his daughters and spending time with them. I guess when you love someone, you accept every part of them, and Knuckles’s children are so much of who he is and what he loves the most.
“We told Mom we wanted to come,” Willow explains, then nods to her sister. “And then when Mom said no, she cried until that no turned into a yes.”
“So it’s true? We’re going to have a brother or sister?” Westley asks, ignoring her sister and looking at my tummy.
“It’s true, but it’s too early to tell whether it’s a girl or boy,” I tell her.
“I’m so excited! I always wanted another sibling!” she continues.
“Now you’re the middle child,” Willow points out, hand on her hip. “I don’t think you should look forward to that. Middle child syndrome and whatnot. Oooh, look at all the food.”
I laugh at how easily distracted she is. “Yes, you’re going to have a baby brother or sister. It’s kind of been a surprise for all of us, but I’m glad that you’re happy about it.”
Relieved is more like it.
It would have been awful if they’d been upset about it, or didn’t take the news well. I don’t know what I would have done to be honest.
“Did your mom drop you off?” Erin asks Willow, sounding curious. I know she must be wondering how the girls got here.
“Yeah, she’s out front talking to Dad,” she replies, and Erin and I share a look. I wonder what made her change her mind, not that I’m upset about it, just very, very curious.
“I thought she said she wasn’t going to bring them over?” I whisper to Erin, eyes darting to where Knuckles disappeared to.
“That’s what she told me,” Erin confirms, looking in the same direction. “She must have changed her mind. I wonder what’s going on out there. Do you want me to go suss it out?”
“Hell yes,” I reply, turning back to the girls when she gets up and leaves.
I have no idea what’s going on or why she showed up. Hopefully she just had a change of heart and brought them here. It doesn’t have to mean that there’s some drama going on, right?
Right?
Who am I kidding, this is my life and there’s definitely something going on right now. I’d love to go see what it is, but I don’t want to leave the girls, and if I do go they will probably follow me. The last thing they need to see is all of us arguing, in case it comes to that. I don’t really know what to expect, but I’m bracing myself for the worst.
“So, what’s new? I haven’t seen you both in ages,” I ask them, trying to make small talk. “Tell me everything I’ve missed out on.”
“Yeah, Dad said you were angry at him because he accidentally got angry at you,” Willow murmurs, glancing up from her food pile. “Don’t worry, we know that he has a bad temper sometimes.”
“But he always says sorry after he yells,” Willow adds, waving at Rogue from across the room. “Some dads don’t think they have to say sorry. My friend’s dad is like that, he never thinks he does anything wrong or has to apologize just because he’s the parent.”
“Boys,” Willow sighs, with her apparent vast expertise. And I wonder to myself how I went from not knowing if I ever wanted kids to this.
I slowly pinch myself just to make sure that this isn’t a dream.
Ouch.
Okay, it’s fucking real.
I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.