KNUCKLES
“She’s gotten so much better over the last six months, don’t you think? She’s actually sleeping, and she’s letting others hold him more without looking uneasy about it,” Erin says, looking over to where Celina is fast asleep on the couch. “Before, she’d hardly let anyone near him.”
She’d only really relax if Erin or I were with him. Anyone other than that, and her anxiety would hit the roof. It was a rough time, but we were all patient with her, and slowly she began to become her old self. Celina loves so hard and feels so much that I know the thought of living without her son destroyed her. And when she got him back, she still had that fear, that pain.
That caution and worry that something might go wrong, and that someone might try to take him from us again.
“Yeah, she’s much better. She’s less anxious, and I think she’s realizing now that she’s safe and no one is going to try and take him from her,” I tell her, watching my woman, her hair sprawled all over the couch, her perfect pink lips slightly spread.
Such beauty, such strength, and she’s just so loving.
She leaves me in awe every fuckin’ day.
“Thank God, I was worried there for a while,” Erin admits, brow furrowed. “I wasn’t sure if she’d come back to us.”
She wasn’t the only one.
I’d never admit it, but I was worried too.
What happened to Celina changed her. She went from being a confident, take-charge woman to one who worried and stressed over every little thing and didn’t want to be left alone. She wasn’t sleeping, she wasn’t eating, and she had to be around Walker at all times. Over the last few months, however, she’s gotten back to her old self, and it’s been a beautiful thing to see. She’s been the best mother anyone could ask for, to both Walker and David. She’s looked after David like he was her own, when she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to take in the baby of a woman she despises, but she did, and she loves him.
See? Strength.
There’s nothing this woman can’t do.
“Let her sleep,” I tell Erin. “I know she said to wake her up, but I’ll get everything done for her.”
She works so hard; she definitely deserves a break.
When we’re at home, she manages to look after the boys, do her freelance writing, and clean and cook. I help, of course, especially with the cooking, but when I’m not around, handling MC business, she handles everything like a fucking champ. I didn’t think I’d feel comfortable living in her house, one that I didn’t buy, but she’s made it my home. It’s not her house, it’s ours, and I’m happy that we decided to stay there and rent out the other one.
“They do say if you love someone, let them sleep,” Erin whispers, walking with me into the kitchen.
The boys are outside, Rogue playing with them on the grass. He’s been such a great uncle to them, really stepping up and helping out, and I know a lot of that has to do with his loyalty to Shovel.
“Now, what did she want to get done?” I ask Erin, grabbing two beers for us. “Something about a cake. Why the fuck do we need a cake?”
“We’re adults. Do we need a reason for a cake?” she asks me, smirking. “I saw a meme about that. About how when you’re an adult, you can get a cake whenever you like. Why don’t we do that?”
“I don’t know. I guess it would make occasions less special,” I reply, shrugging. “So tell me what the occasion is.”
“Fine. It’s the boys’ six-month birthday,” she snickers, jumping up to sit on the counter. “Yeah, apparently that’s a thing. Everyone is coming over for dinner to celebrate, and she wants a chocolate cake with their names on it.”
We celebrate half years now? Oh well, if it makes my woman happy, a cake she’s going to get.
“Yeah, I don’t know how to do that,” I admit, grabbing my phone. “But people are paid to do that shit, right? Let’s just throw money at the situation.”
“You’re going to order a cake and say that you made it?” she asks, arching a brow.
“No, she’ll know I didn’t make it. I’m going to order her a cake so good, she will forget that anyone was meant to make one in the first place.”
Celina does make amazing cakes, but her sleep is more important right now.
Seeing her at peace makes me so fuckin’ happy, and relieved.
You can’t put a price on that.
Erin laughs and lifts her beer up. We clink them together, and then I place an order for the greatest cake ever, and Celina is going to love it.
Once she wakes up from her beauty sleep.
And so will the babies.
Although they eat pretty much anything, so they’re easy to please.
“What about the food for dinner?” I ask Erin, wincing. “Please don’t tell me she was going to cook something, as well?”
Overachiever.
“No, we’re getting it catered from some Mexican restaurant,” she lets me know. “Taco night, for us anyway. I think she made some mushy stuff herself for the babies.”
The boys have just started on solids, so they probably aren’t ready for Mexican food just yet. Apparently we’re going to celebrate their six months on earth by ordering food and not sharing it with them. I can’t wait to tell them about this when they’re older.
“Did you decide on a wedding location?” Erin asks me, taking a mouthful of beer and waiting for my reply. “I know Celina has changed her mind a few times now.”
“Not yet,” I tell her. “She wants to have a destination wedding, except half of us have criminal records and can’t leave the fuckin’ country.”
So there goes that idea.
Erin almost spits out her beer, laughing so hard. “Oh fuck, I didn’t even think about that, that’s hilarious. Who’d think I’d be family with a group of outlaws, huh?”
I told her we can travel anywhere around the country that she’d like to go to, but she told me if she can’t go overseas, maybe we could just have it at her favorite beach, which I thought was a really nice idea, considering it’s where we went that first time I dropped by her house, in the hopes she’d give me a chance. I knew even then that she was the one for me. Hell, I knew from the moment I saw the little photo of her at the bottom of all the articles she’d written for the newspaper. It was hard, because I didn’t want to come on too strong, or creep her out, but I’d never wanted to get to know a woman so badly. I don’t know if she knew the power she had over me, because I would have done anything just to be in her presence.
I’d never admit any of this out loud, of course.
I’m a man who has always known what he wants, and I knew I wanted her. I wanted to make her the happiest woman alive, to love and protect the shit out of her. I wanted to ruin her for other men. And you know what? I did, and am still doing all of those things.
“Who’d think that I’d be marrying your cousin?” I fire back, glancing out the window to see Walker and David lying on a blanket on the grass, Rogue singing to them.
“Is Rogue singing Moana songs again?” I ask.
“I’d assume so.”
Some things never change.
And I’d never want them to.