Chapter 6

Cain’s mouth opened, and the water he’d just sipped dribbled down his chin as his jaw hung open.

She began to giggle.

He, on the other hand, felt so many emotions he didn’t know which one to focus on. He was turned on by hearing the word cock come out of her beautifully innocent mouth—which now he couldn’t stop picturing wrapped around said cock. He was also flustered and surprised—two feelings foreign to him—that she even knew about the piercing. Lastly, he was torn between ripping open his jeans and showing her his piercing and checking to see exactly how drunk she actually was.

Just then her giggle turned into a weird gurgling noise, and her face visibly turned green. Quickly she covered her mouth and dashed to the bathroom. He followed behind her and gathered her hair in his hand to hold it back while she purged her night of drinking.

When she was finished, she reached up to flush the toilet, then curled up on the tile floor. Cain reached for a hand towel, wet it, and pressed it against the back of her neck. “Stay here. I’m going to get you that glass of water.”

She groaned and tried to protest. “I’m not a dog. But I am going to stay right here. Not because you commanded me to but because this cold floor is comfy.”

“Okay, you do that, sweetheart.” He chuckled, then got up and went into the kitchen.

As he was heading back with the glass of water, he heard the front door open and close.

“You finally manned up, I see?” JL asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

Cain straightened. “Pardon me?”

“You finally got the balls to tell her you’re in love with her? That’s why you’re still here, isn’t it?”

“I drove her here because you got her too drunk to drive,” he retorted. “And then she got sick, and now I’m bringing her water.”

JL took a step closer to him and pointed a finger at him. He hated when people did that, but he didn’t move. “You’ve hurt her enough,” she slurred. Obviously she was drunk too. He wondered if she even knew what she was saying. “I won’t let you do it again. You either need to stay away from her or tell her you’re in love with her. We both know that there’s no one sweeter than Violet. She’s not going to tell you what I’m telling you because she’s too worried about hurting your feelings and, well…she’s just too damn nice. But you keep being an ass to her over and over again. I don’t know why she puts up with it. You’re a dick and an ass, Mr. Viking Dude. You”—she poked his chest—“are a dickass.” She laughed to herself. “Oh, shit! I just invented a word! It’s a good word. Dickass.”

“Dickass. Dickass.”

“See, even Bird agrees,” JL said triumphantly.

He rolled his eyes and turned to look at the parrot. “What the hell is that?”

“Our smart pet.” Suddenly her face became serious. “I was here when her father died. Were you? I live with her. I see how she brushes it aside when you’re an asshole to her. You treat her like she’s made out of glass one moment, and the next you pack up your shit and leave without so much as a goodbye, ripping her heart out. Then today’s little foreplay display in front of that Peter guy. That was all kinds of fucked up, and you know it.”

Cain opened his mouth, but she cut him off.

“She probably didn’t tell you this, but when she couldn’t find you after you left, when your phone was disconnected—she was heartbroken. She moped around and worried for weeks. She pretends she’s fine. She pretends to be cheery because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, including yours, but I’m telling you—she was hurt. You hurt her. Don’t you think she’s been through enough? Either you love her forever or you let her go. But you stop being a nasty quasi-possessive dickass!” She said the last word with another poke, then yanked the glass from his hand, some of the water splattering on the floor. “Go home.” She pointed to the front door.

He was on the verge of arguing back but stopped himself. The truth was, JL was right. She was only saying the things he had been thinking but was too selfish to do anything about.

Feeling defeated, he turned and walked out. Only after he’d closed the door behind him did he remember he’d driven Violet home in her car.

Fuck!

The walk back to the Pier to pick up his bike gave him much-needed time to think about the evening and about JL’s words—which had cut him deeply. Love her forever or let her go.

But how the fuck could he let Violet go? He couldn’t quit her. Damn it, he’d tried. He would always love her forever; he couldn’t not love her. He couldn’t unwrap the hold she had on his heart.

He couldn’t go there with her, though. Most importantly, he couldn’t because of Jeremy. But he was also pretty sure she didn’t see him in that light. So putting his feelings out there wouldn’t accomplish one single damn thing, except make things awkward—and betray Jeremy.

JL was right. He was being a selfish dick. Starting tomorrow, things would change.

First thing the next morning, Cain texted Violet: Dinner tonight? Dating 101 starts today.

You’re going to help? she replied.

Yes.

I can’t. I have a date tonight. Chrissy set me up with a doctor. So nervous.

Why are you nervous? Who’s this doctor?

As Cain waited for a new text the phone rang. It was Violet. “It’s easier just to talk, don’t you think? I always think to myself: why am I texting when I can just pick up the phone? Anyway, so, thanks for bringing me home last night. I think I overdid it. I hope I didn’t do anything embarrassing?”

Nah. Just asked to see my pierced cock, that’s all. “Take a breath. You didn’t do anything crazy,” he lied. “So, who’s this guy?”

“Don’t know. Some doctor Chrissy knows.”

“Be careful. He’s a stranger, don’t forget. Where you guys going?”

“To the Tackle Box. It’s a seafood restaurant—”

“I know it. It’s a nice place. Fancy. Dress up.”

She groaned.

“What?”

“JL’s not here, and I suck at picking out clothes. I’m always in scrubs, and when I’m not, JL says I dress like a conservative old lady.”

“You want my help?” He closed his eyes and immediately regretted the words. But he was turning over a new leaf. He was going to be nice. He was going to try to be conversational. He was going to be the friend she deserved. The kind of friend Jeremy would have expected him to be. He would take care of her, as he had promised Jeremy. He’d watch over her. He would help her find a man to take care of her. To love her. And then she’d be out of his hair and he’d move on. Easy.

“Really? You’d do that for me?” she asked.

“I’d do just about anything for you, Vi, you know that.”

“Oh, well then…uh…can you come over?”

“See you in a few.”

Twenty minutes later Cain parked his motorcycle at the curb by Violet’s apartment. Before he’d had a chance to knock, she swung open the door and hugged him tightly before stepping aside to let him in. “Thank you so much for doing this!”

Now, in the light of day, he noticed the apartment was microscopic. It was tidy and clean, even though the walls were cluttered with pictures, the furniture was old, and the rug was green. “This place makes the houses at the base look like mansions.”

“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine and positivity.”

He turned around and noticed she was wearing a ratty pink robe. He touched the lapel and then looked at her quizzically. “Kittens?”

She looked down at the print on her robe and shrugged. “It’s comfy.” She pulled him into the kitchen.

“I know JL makes good tips at the Pier. Does Chrissy pay that shitty that you couldn’t find a bigger place?”

“No. She pays me just fine. I’m saving. This is just temporary. I don’t mind it. Coffee?”

“Water, please. What are you saving for?”

She opened the refrigerator and took out a water bottle for each of them. “A house. A nice house.”

He took a swig of his drink. “Let me guess? White, wraparound porch, swing, cows—”

She looked stunned. “What…? How…?”

“You told me a long time ago.”

“And you remembered?”

“Vi, I’ve told you a thousand times, just ’cause I don’t talk much doesn’t mean I don’t listen. Every single crazy-ass word that has come out of that mouth—and there have been a lot of them, since you talk so much—I’ve listened to. I’ve remembered.”

She placed her hand over her heart. “God, my cup runneth over.”

It had been years since he’d heard that saying. It was something she used to say often. She was southern through and through, and he loved how her drawl came out every once in a while. It made her sound like an old-time southern belle instead of a twenty-eight-year-old modern, independent woman—but wasn’t that what he loved about her? The way she was true to herself, not caring how she sounded, what she looked like. Her emotions were proudly displayed on her sleeve for the world to see. She wore unflattering clothes, said all the wrong things, rarely cursed, and was always very aware of other people’s feelings.

“Remember! Shit! Remember! Shit!”

Cain slammed his water down and looked around.

Violet burst out in a full belly laugh. “It’s Bird. A parrot, actually. His name is Bird. He was Dad’s, and I inherited him. JL loves to teach him to curse. I’m not sure how to shut him up, or have him unlearn the cursing. He drives me absolutely crazy!”

Cain looked around, saw the beautiful red and blue bird, and shook his head. “Wow. That’s…”

“Annoying?”

“I was going to say huge. That’s one fucking huge parrot, Vi!”

Violet laughed. “He is, isn’t he?”

“Fucking huge. Fucking huge,” Bird repeated.

Cain chuckled and Violet groaned. “See? He seems to pick out the curse words.”

“He’s beautiful.” Cain stepped closer. “The bird, not the cursing, I mean. Does he bite?”

“Oh, yes! Be careful.”

As Cain stood admiring the bird from a safe distance, Violet asked, “So…your date from last night. Is it serious?”

“Who? Paige? Nah,” Cain said, still looking into the bird cage. “Known her for years. But I don’t think I’m going to see her anymore.”

“Why’s that?”

“Don’t know.” He stuck his finger in the cage and the parrot snapped at him, causing him to pull back quickly. “Fuck. Almost got me.” He turned. “We both realized it wasn’t working anymore. Why string things along?”

“I want you to be happy. You need to find a nice girl, Cain.”

He shrugged, not sure what to say to that.

“Come on. Stop playing with my bird and help me find something to impress Dr. Mills.”

“I think there’s something perverted in that statement somewhere, but we’ll just let that go for now.” Cain chuckled.

Violet rolled her eyes, then pulled him into her bedroom. When he walked inside he saw that there were clothes thrown all over the place. “Did your closet explode?”

Violet groaned. “JL suggested all these before she left for work.” She pointed to a stack on top of her dresser. “I don’t know.” She picked up a pink dress. “I was thinking of this. Cute, don’t you think?”

“I think we need to tidy up first.”

“Of course. You’re an army-trained neat freak. Let it go for now. I’ll fix everything later.”

Cain tried to ignore the mess, which drove him crazy, and looked at the dress she held up instead. He shook his head. Pink. Pink made men think of pink things…mostly pussy. Okay, only pussy. Mind outta the gutter, Cain! No, pink was out of the question. He moved all the clothes on her bed to the side and lay down on the bed, his legs crossed at the ankles and his arms over his head. “Try it on. Show me.” He plucked the pink one from the stack and threw it on the side. “Not that one, though.” He grabbed a blue dress from the floor. “Start with this one.”

Violet’s face reddened. “Uh…”

“You want to date, right? I’m your friend and I’m a man. I’ll be honest. Go change in the bathroom and come back and show me. If you’re embarrassed around me, how are you going to react when your date sees you?”

She groaned. “Okay, fine.” She took an armful of clothes into the bathroom, and came out with the blue dress on first. She stood awkwardly in front of the bed waiting for his reaction.

He sat up and assessed her, then twirled his finger, indicating he wanted her to do a turn. Then he lay back down. “It’s cute.”

“That’s it? Just cute?”

“Cute,” he repeated, not even looking up.

Cute, huh?

Her eyes narrowed and she marched back to the bathroom. Next she grabbed one of the outfits JL had picked out: skinny jeans, with knee-high boots and a tan shirt that fell off one shoulder. It was sexier than what she normally wore. She fluffed up her hair before walking out.

She could hear the sound of the game he was playing on his phone and cleared her throat to get his attention. He sat up, and his eyes narrowed. He twirled his finger and she turned. Then she bit her bottom lip, waiting for the verdict.

“Change. I don’t like it.”

She threw her hands up. “That’s it? You don’t like it? Why? I mean, I don’t love it either—it’s not really me. But JL loved it. What’s wrong with it, exactly?”

Cain sat back and focused on the game on his phone. “Too tight.”

Too tight? She’d told JL the same thing, and now he was confirming it. She turned and went back to the bathroom feeling slightly embarrassed and defeated. She was too curvy for some of these outfits JL had picked out. This time she picked something she normally wore, except she dressed it up a little more. Like it or not, she was wearing it. Black leggings and a long flattering tunic-like shirt with kitten heels.

When she stepped out, she noticed Cain was holding a picture frame she normally kept by her bed. It was the photo of Jeremy when he’d proposed almost eight years ago.

Jeremy had planned the entire proposal with the detail and precision he would use when planning a Ranger mission. He had even made Cain go along to the restaurant and take photos. In the photo, Jeremy was on his knee holding up a small box; Violet had her hand on her mouth and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

“That photo was the last thing Jer ever gave me.”

“I know. I was there. He made me drive him all over town looking for a perfect frame. He gave you the photo the day we deployed.”

She took the photo from his hand and looked at it before placing it back where it went. “Yes.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

“Can I ask you something?” Cain said.

“Anything.”

“Do you think you’re still hung up on Jer?”

She slumped forward. “I don’t think so. I don’t know. I was so in love with Jeremy. We had so many plans, so many things we wanted to do. When I looked at my future I only saw him. He was going to be the daddy to my babies. We were going to live in the white house with the wraparound porch I always dreamed about. He was going to build a tree house for the kids we’d have. It was always going to be him. And now…now he’s gone. I know it’s been a long time, I know I need to move on, but it’s hard, you know?”

“I know.”

“Do you miss him?” she asked nervously.

“Yeah. I miss him. I miss him a lot.”

“You guys were so close. He loved you so much. You were his brother.”

“Yeah. I know,” Cain said, a lump forming in his throat. “You never talk about him.”

“Neither do you,” she retorted. “Maybe it’s time we start. There’s nothing wrong with talking about him. He was part of our lives for a long time.”

He nodded but continued to look down. This was the most they’d talked about Jeremy since the funeral.

When Jeremy’s parents had received the dreaded visit informing them of their son’s death in Iraq, they’d gone over to break the news to Violet. Violet remembered feeling completely numb and perpetually dazed in the week afterward. She had spoken to Cain’s parents to see if they’d been in contact with Cain; they had not and were worried. She had used all the energy she should have used to mourn the loss of her fiancé on trying to contact Cain.

Then, the morning of the funeral, Cain had called her and asked if she could pick him up from the airport. He had been given special leave just for the funeral; he wanted time alone with her, he had said. As soon as she saw him all the pain she had been holding in poured out. As soon as she saw him she ran to him, buried her head in his chest, and finally cried, painful sobs that came from deep inside.

“Vi, I am so sorry,” Cain said in a voice thick with grief and tears. He cupped the back of her head, stroked her hair, and held her tight.

“How did it happen?” she sobbed into his neck.

“We relied on flawed intel and were ambushed. I was too far away to do anything to help. I didn’t even know he’d been shot until the recon copter flew in and I saw him being lifted. I’m so sorry, Vi. I wish I would’ve been closer…I wish could’ve called you myself. I wish…”

She stepped away, took his face in her hands, and looked into his eyes. “Don’t be sorry, Cain. You lost your best friend. We’re both mourning.” She wiped a tear from his eye. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

He shook his head, the lump in his throat making it impossible to speak. “No. I wasn’t hurt,” he finally croaked. Violet led them to an empty corner of the airport where they sat for an hour, Cain holding her as she cried. He told her how much Jeremy had loved her and how he’d spoken about her all the time. Over and over he told her how sorry he was, almost as if he was apologizing to her. That was the thing with war—some people came back and some didn’t. It was the risk you took when you fell in love with a Ranger. She would be lying if she’d said she’d been prepared for his death. No one could prepare for something like that. But a complete surprise? No, it was certainly not a surprise.

At last, when she was able to compose herself, together they went to the funeral.

After that, he returned to town five more times during his remaining two years of active service. They’d go horseback riding, or to the movies, or have dinner with his parents. On one occasion, they’d even gone roller-skating. But every time she brought up Jeremy he’d change the subject. She understood how much losing his best friend must have hurt him, so eventually she stopped bringing it up.

After his second tour was over he didn’t reenlist; instead, he disappeared. He sent her emails at least once a month, usually just to check in and see how she was doing. She knew he had moved to Florida, had taken up MMA, and was now working with IMC, but she didn’t know much else. Once or twice she saw him on television fighting on the undercard for a major bout. When his parents died in a car accident, she went to the small funeral and held his hand. He didn’t shed a single tear, and as soon as the caskets were in the dirt, he flew back to Tarpon Springs and she went back to nursing school in Amarillo. And that’s how their relationship had been since Jeremy’s death six years ago. There was love, there was friendship, but there was also distance and a wall around Cain she couldn’t seem to penetrate.

Cain must’ve been as lost in his thoughts as she was. Finally, though, he spoke, startling her. “I have to go.”

“Um…yeah. Okay.”

He stood up and pointed to her outfit. “I like that. Wear that.” Then he gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.

His abrupt mood swings and quick exits were making her head spin. She picked up the photo and looked at it before setting it back down and grabbing a handful of clothes to begin the job of tidying her room.

Sweat trickled down Cain’s temples. He’d taken off his shirt long ago. His body ached from pounding his fists against the punching bag. He’d been at it for the last two hours. He felt eyes on him, but he didn’t care. Violet was on her way to a date. He was happy for her. She needed to go out and meet people. He, on the other hand, needed to make sure he adequately trained for the upcoming fight.

“Yo, I think it’s dead,” Tony teased. “You’ve been training for hours. You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

Tony patted Cain’s shoulder before walking away.

Cain glanced at the time. Earlier he’d received another text from Iggy about going with him to watch the underground fight. This time, said it was a “sure thing.” Cain knew those unsanctioned fights were dangerous, and he’d had no intention of going, but now…now he was full of energy and something else. Anger? Guilt? Regret?

Maybe he’d go and watch just to have something to do that didn’t involve thinking about Violet on a date. And Violet’s ass in those leggings. And Violet’s tits in that off-the-shoulder shirt she’d modeled for him. And Violet’s pale skin reddening as she waited for him to look her over and give his verdict on the outfit.

That picture had brought back so many memories. He couldn’t stop thinking of the day Jeremy had told him he was going to propose to Violet. Cain had gone with him to pick out the ring. He’d told Jeremy the ring was too flashy for Violet, but Jeremy said he wanted to give her the “best.” It was gaudy and ostentatious and nothing like Violet, but Violet seemed to love it. Then, knowing how much Violet liked photos, Jeremy had asked him to go with them to dinner and take photos of the occasion. Cain had told Jeremy that it was probably best to propose in private. But Jeremy said he wanted to yell it to the world and it was an occasion to be shared. That too seemed to please Violet, since she cried and sobbed a yes when Jeremy got down on one knee and proposed. It just went to show, Cain thought, that he didn’t really know Violet as well as he thought he did.

Seeing the photo of Jeremy and Violet had reminded him why he needed to stay away from Violet. Maybe helping her date was a bad idea.

Quickly he sent a text to Iggy to let him know he’d be going to the fight after all.