chapter Twelve
A Mother’s Plea
Monique
I hardly got any sleep. I spent the night packing my things. I don’t have much here. Just a few things Czar brought here for me. LaSalle had asked me to wait before I tried to go to get more stuff from my place or go out to shop.
I had every intention of leaving this morning, first thing, but those three little angels stopped me in my tracks. First, Megan clung to my leg like her life depended on it as she shared with me that her father made them breakfast. Then, Jessica came to ask me for a hug.
By the time, I finished holding Jessica as she wept into my shoulder, I was spent and broken down myself. I just wanted a nap and then I planned to call my brother to get me out of here.
That’s when I found Sammy standing outside his parents’ room, humming to himself and staring at the door. I didn’t think my heart could ache anymore, but that ripped a piece of my heart out. When his little grey eyes met mine, they looked tortured.
I couldn’t help but wonder what all goes on in his head. What does Sammy see? How much about all of it, all of this, does he understand? This has to be a lot for a two-year-old, even one as brilliant as Sammy.
As I sat on the floor to see if I could help him settle and then move away from the door, I could see the relief in his eyes. It made me think of the things Clive made for him. I made a mental note to see if he ever took them to the clinic or if I can get him to come by with them.
I’m officially exhausted and drained. LaSalle’s tortured wails have finally subsided. I took the children out in the back yard when I heard them start. Although, being outside muffled the sound, I could still hear his pain.
“Sam’s the strong, silent type,” Camille says in a shaky whisper. She arrived an hour ago. The stricken look on her face said it all. I’m not the only one shocked to hear LaSalle in such pain and anguish.
Not that we didn’t know he was in pain. I’ve just never heard a man howl in such pain, especially not a man like LaSalle. My heart has softened towards him again.
“I can’t imagine what this must be like for him,” I murmur into my lap. “I feel like such a bitch. He was drunk and we sort got into it last night.”
“Oh, Honey, don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen and Sam is going to go through a lot of changes and those close to him are going to feel them,” Camille gives me a mischievous smile. “I walked in on him cursing Bobby out in the office the other day. It was kind of hot.”
I narrow my eyes at her as my mouth drops open. “You’re straight crazy,” I shake my head, although the comment does break up some of the tension. “Speaking of crazy. Where’s your shadow. This is the first time I’ve seen you without the big Irish bear with you.”
Camille blushes and looks away. “We had a little argument this morning. I left him with the kids and came here to check on you guys. I’m sure he is ready to strangle me.
“His daughter has taken to my boys and they her. She gets into as much mischief as they do,” Camille shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
“So, you guys are dating?” I poke. I have no idea why I’m being so nosey.
Camille sighs and shakes her head. “I have all the benefits of a husband without the sex. Four children, we live under the same roof. The man bosses me around. God, but I need the sex. If I run into him in the hall in his boxers one more time. I don’t think I can stay sane much longer,” Camille’s cheeks darken even more and she bites her lip, moaning.
I throw my head back and laugh. Oh God, did I need this laugh. Camille is crazy. If this were under different circumstances, I’d even call her a good friend.
However, I’m cautious of naming our relationship. Camille wants something from me, or at least, her friend wants something from me. Camille is here to make that happen. I’m just not getting on the crazy train with her.
“Monique,” I hear my name rasped heavily.
I look up to find LaSalle staring at me intensely. Not like last night, when he found me talking with Jessica. No, there is no adorations or appreciation in his eyes. I would think I was the scum on the bottom of his shoe from the look he has in his eyes.
I take him in fully. His hair is damp as if he has just come from the shower, his white t-shirt is clinging to his damp skin, revealing all the tight muscles beneath. He has on a pair of well worn jeans with rips in the thigh.
His feet are bare. He’s just standing there with control and menace rolling off of him, making a delicious sight. I take notice of the letters clinched tightly in his hand. My curiosity is instantly peaked.
I meet his cold stare again and shiver. “Yes,” I say breathlessly.
I watch as his jaw ticks and he shifts. His eyes narrow at me, giving me a death glare. “These are for you. Go to the private room. Guests are coming. I don’t know what you will find inside these letters, but I can’t have it jeopardizing my family,” LaSalle says, through a hard, husky voice.
I give a trembling nod and rise to my feet. I’m hurt. I know our tiff last night was sudden, but harsh. I just didn’t think it would cause this reaction. LaSalle has never been cold with me. Even last night, when he told me to get out, it seemed like a demand out of hurt, not anger or cruelty.
Now, I feel like an enemy as I draw closer to him. When he lifts the letters in his hand to hand them over, he looks over my head as his jaw works. I expect him to release the letters, as I wrap my hand around them, but he holds fast.
I look up at him, still not catching his eyes because they are cast above me. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say. I’ve just spent the last three hours listening to this same man weep. What do I say?
“Don’t,” he says firmly. “I apologize for last night. You were right.”
With that, he releases the letters and moves pass me. I turn and watch him move to his children that have been seating together in the sofa swing in the middle of the expansive yard. My heart swells when he lifts Sammy into a tight hug and climbs into the center of the swing between the girls.
LaSalle leans to kiss the top of each girls’ head and says something that makes them squeal with laughter. None of the hardness from moments ago, comes across his face. I look down at the ground and blink back tears.
I shake them off quickly. I need to know what’s in these letters and then I can get out of here. At this point, I’ll take my chances with Daddy. Hell, Misha is looking like a better option after the look LaSalle just gave me.
I start for inside the house, before I notice I have company. I turn to see an antsy Camille staring at the letters in my hand. She is following me into the house.
“Those are from Ellen,” she licks her lips and nods at my hand.
I nod. “Yeah, I guess so,” I reply.
Camille wrings her hands. “Do you mind if I come with,” Camille asks hopefully.
I pause and look up at her. I see the plea in her eyes. I think about the agony I heard LaSalle in. He must have read something from Ellen. I nod at Camille, knowing I’m strong, but if Ellen’s words could wreck LaSalle in such a way I may need backup.
~B~
Sam
I watch Camille and Monique walk into the house. As I tell my children a silly story. Their giggles fill the air, soothing my soul.
It is now that I have my children in my arms that I realize how much I need them. Just their little voices are keeping my demons at bay. I inhale the top of Sammy’s hair as he squirms on my chest.
“Daddy, is Mo-mo leaving?” Megan asks sadly.
“No, Princess, why would you think that?” I ask with furrowed brows.
“We saw her with a bag,” Jessica replies.
My jaw tightens all over again. I know I shouldn’t be angry with Monique. Truth be told I’m not. I’m angry with the idea of Monique or at least, the idea my wife had.
I take a deep breath to calm myself. I’m raging inside about a number of things, but I want this time to spend with my children.
“No, Mo-mo is staying right here with us. We’re going to get her help with her shoulder and then maybe we’ll all go to Italy for a little bit,” I think out loud.
“Okay,” Megan nods. “She’s my best friend. I don’t want her to go too.”
I swallow hard, wrapping an arm around my little girl and pulling her into my side. Again, my anger raises. How could Ellen do this to our children?
A part of me wants to know what Ellen has to say to Monique, but something in my gut tells me it’s just going to piss me off more. I have enough on my plate with a deranged Russian on the way to see me in my home.
Misha hasn’t announced his arrival. My ears and eyes have informed me. The Russian is up to something.
If I know Misha, he’s about to throw a wrench in my life. I have more important things to deal with so whatever he wants it will have to be cleared up today. I need to get focused.
My uncle wants to meet. I need to show that I’ve got this. This thing with Monique cannot be an issue. If I were in my right mind, I’d just send her away.
Sammy cups my face, until I give him my undivided attention. “Mo-mo, stay,” he says firmly, when I look into his little grey eyes.
I snort and shake my head.
~B~
Monique
I blink rapidly at the letter before me. I’m speechless. I can feel Camille staring at me, but I need to read it one more time. When it still doesn’t settle into my brain, I hand it to Camille with a plea in my eyes. I need her to read it to me. I need to make sure I’m seeing right.
“Please, read it to me,” I choke out, as I hand the letter over with a trembling hand.
Camille takes the letter and nods. “Dear Tasha?” Camille says and frowns.
I bite back a sob. It was one of the first things I noticed. Ellen didn’t address me as Monique in the letter, but Tasha. She remembered me. The whole time she knew who I was.
I nod. “It was the name she knew me by first. I’ll explain, just please keep reading,” I choke out.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Camille says, and licks her lips nervously before continuing to read. “I’ve come to consider you a friend in the short time I’ve gotten to know you. I value the connection we’ve made. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you in the last few months.
“I’m so grateful to you for how you’ve helped Sammy. You will be so instrumental in him becoming a great man. Because of you, he will one day have a family of his own. Your care and patience with him will be just what he needs to find himself in time.”
I close my eyes and wrap my arms around my middle. I can’t even imagine the strength it took for this woman to pen this letter.
I hold it together as Camille goes on. “My girls will look to you as a best friend and a mom. The strength you will teach them warms my heart to know. This will be so hard for my family, especially my husband.
“Don’t let him push you away. I know this will be hard, but I beg of you. Don’t give up on Sam. Fight for him. When the two of you choose each other, it will lead you both to so much happiness. So please, choose him.” This time I do release a sob, as Camille also whimpers.
How can a woman be so sure that she should give away her family? How can she have so much faith in me to take care of them, to love them, to cherish them as she has cherished them.
Camille pulls it together and clears her throat. “Please know that none of this is your fault, so stop blaming yourself. Everything happened just as it should. You all will find love through this pain.”
I hold up my hand. “I can’t breathe, Cam,” I say, as I double over. “She really believed this? I just…Oh, my God. I can’t.”
“I know, Honey. I know it’s a lot to swallow, but she was so accurate. She knew what she knew. She saw something and to her it couldn’t be changed. I don’t know if she was right, but I, as a friend believe she believed every word with her heart,” Camille offers.
I nod, as tears spill down my cheeks. I nod for her to go on. I need to hear every word. I don’t want to make anything up in my head.
Camille starts again, after drawing in a deep breath. “I never understood everything about my husband. That was by choice. To learn his secrets, I would have had to give him mine. It’s hard to give something you barely understand.
“I could only see all of our pain. I could never stop it. So, please don’t be angry with me. I’m not dumping my family on you. They were always meant to be yours.
“Love them and don’t let them go. This will be the fight of your life, but it will yield you the ultimate joy. The passion, Sam will have for you will set the world on fire. It will cause him to finally accept the things our love made him deny.
It’s time to stop running from who you are as well. Embrace her. It’s who you were born to be, Tasha,” Camille blows out a breath, her voice full of emotions, “Ellen.”
As she finishes the letter I just stand there. I don’t know what to feel, I’m just numb. I have at least two more letters clutched in my fingertips.
They are all noted for read order and when to read them. This woman really planned and thought this all out based on a vision. A part of which has come to pass. We are all in awe of Ellen not saying something to stop this, but what we should be in awe of is the fact that she even knew so much about the future.
“I’m exhausted, Cam,” I whisper, as my head and shoulder start to ache.
“I know the feeling,” Camille sighs. “I wish I knew how to make this all better.”
I shake my head. “I’m no psychic, but I know in my gut it’s only going to get worse.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t going to mention that, but I have a question?”
I look up into Camille’s light amber eyes. She looks around the room, then back at me. Her face scrunches up.
“Umm, where the fuck are we?” Camille deadpans. “Does Sam bring the bad guys here to beat their ass or something?”
I burst into laughter, as she repeats my exact thoughts when LaSalle first brought me here. I’m happy she followed me and when she moves to wrap her arms around me, I’m even more grateful.