Moments
When faced with new things, we often need a little push. When given a gentle shove, we experience moments we will never forget.
BREEZE
A LOT HAPPENED before we ever made it to the start. Coin flipping placed each racer. Dumb luck made me first. Money changed hands, both real and borrowed. I never understood betting money you didn’t have. Shame fronted it, and I knew the consequences if it wasn’t paid back, but I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want childhood memories spoiling my fun.
Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I felt sitting behind the wheel of Shame’s Camaro. I glanced at the guy next to me in a black Mitsubishi. He lifted his chin and flashed me an arrogant smile. I’m sure he thought I was a joke. He was a wannabee gangster with a flat-bill Sox hat, cocked to the side, and a sliver of a goatee. I figured him to be young. Well, older than me but not by much, roughly eighteen or so. He revved his engine a few times and brought his attention to the brunette who stepped in front of us.
“Breathe, Dimples,” Shame instructed. I had not realized I was holding my breath. It felt good to exhale. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll make a mistake. Keep your eyes on the road and follow my instructions.” I nodded, massaging the cold ball of the stick shift in my hand. “A team is clearing the way, but there’s gonna be distractions. Lights, traffic on the other side of the highway, street signs. Shut everything out. Look away for even a tenth of a second, and he’ll have you.”
“Okay. Got it,” I said, feeling my heart pound.
“He’s young and you’re a girl, so I expect him to show off and start with a burn out. Don’t think about it, and don’t try to match him. As soon as she drops that scarf, you go.” I looked at my hand on the steering wheel to see the whites of my knuckles. “Relax,” Shame said in soothing voice. “You can do this.” I softened my grip and took two deep breaths. “Exit to exit, that’s all you need to worry about.”
It felt like time stood still as we waited for the scarf to drop. Fog rolled through the rays of the headlights, and muffled voices hollered in the back of my thoughts. As I kept focused on the deep magenta in the girl’s hand, a bead of sweat tickled as it raced down my cheek. I didn’t dare try to remove it. Every breath I exhaled came out slow and ragged until the scarf finally dropped. I sucked in one long pull of air while pressing the throttle to the floorboard. Vaguely aware of the burn out next to me, my head hit the back of the seat as we took off.
At three thousand RPMs, I felt Shame’s hand over mine. “Not yet. Red line it,” he instructed. “Push it as hard as it will go, then shift. The higher the RPMs, the faster the car.”
It took incredible restraint not to shift. I had been trained to do so at three thousand RPMs. Even the car whined in protest as the white line of the dial crept past four, then five . . . At six, I hit the clutch and shifted into second. The race continued in a flash, push and shift, until the Camaro finally hit fifth gear, one hundred, one hundred-ten—twenty . . . I had yet to think about where the other guy was, but I spotted the scout car on the shoulder as we passed him.
“Holy shit!” Shame yelled as I slowed the Camaro. “Holy fucking shit, Dimples!”
“Did I win?” I shouted in excitement as I veered off the exit.
“Nah,” Shame chuckled. “But you impressed the hell outta me.” I was pissed I lost, but happy I had impressed Shame. The thick trees covered the next starting point along the exit. The gaps lit up red and blue and there was nowhere to turn around. “Ah, fuck. Go left,” Shame instructed.
No sooner than I hung the left did the Camaro light up, and I saw the cruiser in the rearview mirror. “What do I do?” I asked, hearing the panic in my voice.
“Pull over.” Shame laughed. “Relax, and let me do the talking.”
I pulled off to the side and rolled down the window. My heart pounded in my ears as I watched the Statie approach in the side mirror. He reached my window and bent over, glancing in the car from under his large brimmed hat. “License and registration, ma’am.”
“Uh, okay.” Shame held the registration, and I looked at him with wide eyes as I mouthed, “License?”
Shame leaned forward, reaching across me to hand the Statie the registration. “What’d you pull her over for?”
Without looking at Shame, The Statie took the registration from his hand and answered, “There’s been some illegal racing on the highways tonight.”
“Oh, that’s bad,” Shame said sardonically. “Someone could get hurt.”
The Statie studied the registration for a moment, and then took a good, long look at Shame. I waited for him to ask again for my license. Instead he handed the registration to me and looked across the seat to Shame. “Have a nice night.”
“Thanks, Brendon,” Shame said with a smile.
My eyes stayed glued to the rearview mirror until the officer was tucked back in his cruiser, then I turned my head to Shame. “You know him?”
“Lucky for us.”
Another cruiser passed us. I looked over to see the guy I raced in the backseat. “Lucky for me,” I said, smiling. “Total relaxation for two weeks.”
“Nice try, Dimples, but you lost.”
“No way! He got busted. I win by default.”
“All right.” Shame’s head fell back against the seat and he laughed. “I’ll give you that one.”
Moments can be etched in our memories by the simplest of things. Like when we let our guard down and enjoy the people in our lives, when we open up and allow ourselves to feel. Eventually, the walls will go back up, our guard again will hold strong, but the moment will be permanent.
SHAME
“Look, all I’m saying is you should work for the club. I’ll put you on retainer.”
“I can’t ask you to keep paying my way.” Viv continued her stubborn arguing.
“That’s nonsense. I’ve never paid your way. You’ve worked for every dime. In fact, I don’t think you’ve earned enough, puttin’ up with these nasty assholes. You’ve cleaned up buckets worth of puke. Think about how many times you’ve put one of their drunk asses to bed. And I know you’ve washed sheets that should’ve been burned.”
“I’ve seen my fair share of jizz.”
Her joke and the smile on her lips thrilled me because I knew I would get my way.
“Come on . . . having a lawyer on staff is good business—for me, and God knows Liam alone needs you full time.”
She appeared alarmed. “I thought he was doing better.”
“If by better you mean he’s gone a week without getting into a fight. Then . . .”
“He loved that girl something fierce.”
“He’s whipped, but he’ll get over it. Don’t change the subject, though. What do you say? I promise, the only job you’ll have is legal work. No laundry, dinners . . . or jizz.”
She laughed. “Well how can I say no to that?”
“You can’t.”
“Fine, but since I’m here, tell Breeze I’ll help her out tonight.”
I was excited to tell Breeze Viv would be working for the club. Her and Viv had grown close and Breeze needed a woman around, one I wasn’t involved with. She couldn’t stand Sabina. It was all I could do to stay grounded as I opened the door and saw Breeze straddling Lance’s lap. Their lips were attached and her perfect ass grinded into his crotch. I coughed and she quickly climbed off of him.
“Looks like you two made up?” I said.
“Yep.” She wiped her mouth, her cheeks beautifully flushed as she glanced up at me. Lance on the other hand looked pale, like he might puke.
“I should go,” he said, hopping up from the couch.
“Yeah . . . you should,” I quipped, staring the kid down.
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Breeze.”
“Bye.” She waved as he walked toward the door.
I made sure to brush shoulders with him as he went by me.
“Looks like you’re forgiven,” I said, closing the door after Lance.
“Maybe he’s forgiven.”
She smiled in a way that was challenging, but alarmed me.
“Did he do something to you?”
“Why? You gonna kick his ass if he did?”
“Mouth.” She rolled her eyes. “And yes, I most definitely will kick his ass if he hurts you.”
Sometimes a moment happens and we don’t even realize the impact it has on us until months or years later. Still the moment sticks with us, lingers in our thoughts, and waits until we’re ready to appreciate it.