There is an entire marching band inside my head, beating on my brain. And they are horrible. No real beat or rhythm. Just bang, bang, pow, kick on my head, causing a splitting feeling to rip through my frontal lobe.
I groan as I flip onto my side, realizing I’m partially lying on a warm body. Oh God. Please be someone I know. Please be… I open one eye to a body, thank God, I recognize. Chase is sleeping, his mouth slightly parted as his chest rises and falls.
Shit. How did I get home last night? I close my eye because the light is making the banging worse and I rest my head on his chest. Did I walk? Did Kristen come with me? Did…
“Good morning.”
Rats. I take in a deep breath and reopen my eye. “Hi,” I respond nervously. I would have never thought in a million years I would ever forget a night of passion with Chase Green, but this fine morning, I cannot, for the life of me, remember the end of my night.
“How you feeling?”
Yeah, I feel like that’s a trick question.
“Good, and you?” Gonna reverse psychology this.
“I feel fine, but that’s because I didn’t drink the bar out of tequila last night.”
I groan again, embarrassed, and shut my eyes. “Tell me I didn’t do anything embarrassing.”
He stalls.
Shit, he stalls!
“Well, define embarrassing?”
Oh God. I’m never drinking again.
I lift my head. Give him a good once-over and hope I’m playing my cards right. “Did you at least enjoy the mind-blowing sex we had when we got home last night?” I can only assume because I’m naked.
“By mind-blowing, you mean, you undressing yourself and passing out on top of me while licking my chest like a lollipop?”
I gasp.
He’s lying.
He better be lying.
Oh God, he doesn’t look like he’s lying.
“You’re lying, right?”
“No. Can’t say that I am. But that was all before you tried to do a sexy dance for me on the bed, managing to fall off it twice.”
I give him the no, I didn’t look.
He just wiggles his eyebrows, giving me the oh, yes, you did look in return.
What’s wrong with me? Since when do I get blacked out drunk and make an idiot out of myself? Well, a lot so… Shut up, consciousness.
“It’s okay. I thought it was cute. You were very determined.”
I know he’s trying to hold in his laughter. I dig my nails into his bare chest as his laughter explodes. He flips me onto my back. With my hands now captured and being lifted above my head, I have no choice but to look up at Chase. His eyes still hold that sleepy look, his hair a sexy mess. “Stop laughing at me.” I pout, still managing to wiggle my hips, waking up his lower parts.
“I’m not. I think you’re cute.”
“Cute! Great. Little sisters, close friends, and bunnies are cute,” I reply with a pout.
“You’re beautiful.”
Okay, I’ll take that. Going a little overboard, but it shuts me up. He bends down, meeting my lips for an extra juicy morning kiss. His tongue dives into my mouth, stealing my breath. It doesn’t take long before his palms are caressing their way down my arm and latching onto my naked breast. His touch on my flesh awakens every part of me. His mouth numbing the pounding in my head and the hardness resting against my hip, offering me the best morning wake up.
“So, explain to me these romance books.”
I ignore him at first, thinking he’s not talking to me, until I realize he is and stop trying to maul his face.
“Tell you what? I know nothing about them.” I wrap my hands around his neck, pulling him back down. He gives in, kissing me with vengeance until we both need air and starts again.
“No, I mean how women write romance. Is how they write it, how it feels in real life? Like when I kiss you, do your toes curl and butterflies flutter in your taut tummy?” He smiles, fighting the laughter.
“Where are you getting your information, Green? That sounds more like indigestion.”
He kisses me quickly and says, “I was curious, so I read some of the books that I’m on the cover of. The way you women describe sex, with words like hard member or flesh and folds. Is that what you call your pussy in real life?”
I don’t know how to react right now. First off, he just admitted to reading romance novels. He also just said the word member and folds in the same sentence. “Are you drunk, Chase?” I have to ask.
“For you,” he responds, nipping at my bottom lip. “I’m being serious. I read a book once, where the male really did a number on the girl. Talked some real raunchy shit. Is that what you want? Lots of spankings and dirty talk?”
At that I bust out laughing. The mental picture of Chase getting all porn lipped on me.
“No, I’m not into domination and shit.” Seriously, what books is he reading?
“Are you sure? Because I feel like I should know these things. Your likes, dislikes. Now that I think of it, you should probably know mine as well.” More quick kisses and a dip to my nipples before he starts firing off question after question.
“Okay, so question number one. Do you like being tortured in bed?”
Jesus, starting them blunt. “No! God, what do you take me for?”
He smiles, approving of my answer. “Okay, good. I’m not sure how good I would be at torturing. Next question. Are you into using weird objects and shit in bed? Hate to admit I read this, but…” He pauses. “The dude used a lot of cucumbers.”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that, right?”
“Possibly, but I need to know how to please you. Because in the end of these books, they always get the girl. Just covering all my bases.”
And as cliché as those books are, I’m going to add on to it. Because my heart just melted.
He wants to get the girl.
Sigh.
“You know, you read some pretty strange romance books. I’m not into weapons, kink, domination, I don’t own a spreader bar, which may be a shame from what I’ve heard, and I don’t like to be tied up and whipped until I’m on the verge of blackness to get off. I’m, if you haven’t noticed, a simple girl.”
Staring down at me, he replies, “You are anything but simple, Katie Beller.”
I might have to pay a fee when I check out because my heart is melting all over this bed! I’m feeling embarrassed by his comment, needing to bring the attention off me.
“Well, those books are nonsense anyways. All filled with insta-love and froufrou bullshit.”
“And what is insta-love?”
“Pfft, you know those stories where the couple meets and instantly they’re in love and can’t be apart? People eat that shit up, but it’s not real. Love doesn’t work like that.”
His eyes become quiet, but intense. “So, you don’t believe in the whole love at first sight theory?”
“No. I believe in lust at first sight, sure. But people confuse lust with love. They go jumping into these serious relationships, and when that dies, the love masked by lust crashes down on a theory, leaving one or both parties hurting. People need to take their time figuring out what love is. Not this overnight bullshit.”
I kind of just went on a tangent, and Chase is looking at me like I said something to hurt him. His playful smile has dulled a tad, no longer reaching his eyes.
“What? Do you believe in it?” I ask, trying to figure out what just changed in him.
“I believe that when you know you know. And that people don’t have to know each other for eons of time to form that deepness of feelings for one another.”
I guffaw. “Are you serious, Green? Where did you get that from? You’ve been reading way too many romance books.” I chuckle, looking at him, but he’s not sharing the humor. “What? What’s wrong? Are you bothered by what I said?”
He looks troubled. In battle with wanting to say more than what he does.
The phone starts ringing, but we both ignore it as I watch the fight die, a mask covering his prior face of emotions. “No, of course not,” he replies, but I sense a lack of truth in his response.
“You can’t believe in love at first sight,” I repeat myself just as the phone stops ringing, then quickly picks back up.
“And why can’t I?” he asks, snippier than I was expecting. “Would it be so terrible to believe in it? To think two people can have such a strong connection without having the eons of time together?” The phone continues to ring, and I can tell it’s grating on Chase’s patience. I haven’t seen this side of him, but he’s aggravated. That’s a fact.
“Chase, I was just saying…”
The last ring does it for him and he picks up the phone and speaks, “For Christ’s sake, hello?… Oh, yeah, hey. No, um… She’s right here. I was just… I lost my key and needed to call room service. Yeah, here she is.” He stops talking and hands me the phone.
My mouth drops, praying the person on the other line is not who I think it is. Chase nods and mouths, it is, and I take the phone.
“Hello?”
“Do I want to know?” Kristen’s bright and bubbly voice flows through.
No, she surely does not.
“Nothing to report. I think he’s doing a walk of shame. Smells like cheap perfume.” I look at Chase and wiggle my eyebrows, but he sadly doesn’t join in on the fun. He gets up and grabs for his clothes and begins dressing.
“Huh, I wonder if Amber got her claws in him. Might wanna drill her later for details,” she says then starts yelling at her assistant about a missing banner.
I sit up in bed, watching Chase dress while Kristen starts going on about the schedule for today. The entire time Chase refuses to look at me. I toss a pillow at him, trying to get his attention, but he simply turns, whispering he’s gotta get going, and then walks through the connecting door. And to my surprise, shuts it.
What the fuck?
Readers wait for no one. And apparently neither does Chase Green. I got off the phone with Kristen and got ready, thinking Chase would grab me to walk down, but to my surprise he was already gone. Not that I couldn’t go down by myself, but it was kind of our thing. Hold hands in the elevator until it opens and then release, walking away as if we were just two strangers.
But today I was holding hands with no one. I walk to the ballroom and there’s already a line down the block and into the next state. I look over at Chase’s table, and he is already talking to someone, not even acknowledging me when I walk in.
Was he really that upset with me over the whole insta-love thing? Could he actually be mad at me because I didn’t believe in all that fairytale bullshit? I want to storm over there and tell him to get his head out of his ass, and that love is never instant and it takes time and work to find the right one. Those books are make-believe. Romance at its fake best. Why would he be mad at me for just stating the truth? Because maybe he feels something stronger for you. I look back over at him just as he lifts his head. Our eyes meet. The corners of his lips rise in a small smile and he goes back to his fan. What am I missing here? He says he wants to get the girl in the end. Am I the girl? He believes it’s possible to have such strong connections in moments of meeting someone that could equate to insta-love. Am I that someone? No. Okay, I actually chuckle out loud. Clearly, I’m not that girl.
I don’t get much more time to debate because my line is growing and I need to get to work. I spend the entire day hugging, signing books, and hearing stories of how readers gobbled up my book. It never does get old hearing the praises, even though you’re still not sure how you got here.
The day is finally coming to an end and I’m able to take some time to sit and reminisce about the day. One reader in particular stood out. Her name was Emily. She was shy and waited patiently in line. When it was finally her turn, she came up and asked if she could hug me, and of course I said absolutely. I signed her book, and she told me how much she enjoyed my story. She then handed me a handmade wooden box. Confused at first at the strange gift, it wasn’t until she explained the reasoning for it that my heart swelled.
Emily went on to explain it was a wish box made from an old oak tree from her childhood. When she was growing up, there was the most beautiful oak tree in her backyard. The tree was a place for her to hide when she needed to be alone, where she took her books to read, a place where she went to wish. She wished for everything under the sun when she was little. From a pink bike, to wishing her parents wouldn’t fight so much. She wished Derek from science would talk to her and that her mother would get better once she fell ill.
Soon after she graduated high school, life took its course and her mother lost her life to cancer. She spent hours upon hours under that special wish tree, praying her mother finally found peace. That her father would be okay without her mom. That she would find reasoning in why life took her mother so young. This tree, it was a place where she felt solace.
It wasn’t until she was in college that her father began struggling with the payments on the house and was forced to sell. A local contractor eager to buy up the land and surrounding area to build modern townhouses offered her father a price he couldn’t refuse and before she could argue, her childhood home was sold, along with her special tree. She spent days making calls, trying to find out who was in charge of the construction, but with no luck. The demolition was set to happen.
She couldn’t see her tree be destroyed. All the memories and wishes she had made under that tree. She still had so many open wishes out there to come true. So, when the day of the demolition began, she did the only thing she could and chained herself to the tree. The construction crew yelled and demanded she get the hell away from the tree. They would call the cops. Have her arrested. But she didn’t care. She would have done anything to save her tree.
It was when the contractor finally showed that her life changed forever. A tall man by the name of Charles Hanson came storming up to her, demanding she remove herself from that tree. She was costing him money by holding up his crew. He made it to her and the moment their eyes collided, it was love. He leaned into her, asking if she was all right. Yelled at his entire crew to back away from the tree and shut down all production for the day.
Emily and Charles married a year later and she showed me pictures of their two beautiful children.
She explained to me that Charles loved her so much that he did everything in his power to save that tree. He reworked his plans around the tree so his love would have her wish tree. It wasn’t until just last year that the tree caught a bug. Charles tried his best to save the tree, but it was too late and the city was forced to cut it down. It was a sad moment for her. Remembering all the times she spent under that tree, wishing, finding peace, loving life.
Her husband did what he could to save pieces of her tree, and she spent her free time carving out special boxes from what her Charles salvaged.
It was then I looked down at my special box in a different light. Emily finally explained to me that she had made the box especially for me. She said my book at times made her very sad. She hoped that in my own life I had found love. She told me she spent half her life wishing to find love. And the day Charles walked into her life, she knew her wish had come true.
She wanted that for me.
I couldn’t even fathom that someone thought so much about my life. Of course, I cried. To know there are such selfless people in this world made my heart swell. I wanted to wrap her up and take her home with me so her kindness would spread to everyone and everything in my life.
Sadly, she told me she had to be home to get dinner ready for her kids and Charles, and I had to unlatch myself from her. We exchanged information because I insisted we keep in touch, and she was on her way.
Her words stuck with me while I wrapped up the day and also while working with Amy, my assistant, on restocking my paperbacks. And when I stole glances at Chase, it made me think of what I would wish for.
“How’d you do today?”
I lift my head from straightening a pile of bookmarks to find Kristen jamming away on her phone. “It was hectic, but good hectic. You?”
Not even missing a beat, she continues to fire off a message. “Girl, why didn’t I go to school to be a teacher or something?”
“That good?”
“Fire after fire. I had an author get drunk and vomit under her table. This was after she spent most of the day secretly handing out shots to readers. Now her publicist is in an uproar on why I pulled her. Two authors who just had to have their tables next to one another because they were inseparable got into it and now aren’t talking. Demanded one or hte other be moved. Mid signing! And now it’s been brought to my attention that one of the author’s models was basically having a threesome in the bathroom.”
Of course, my eyes widen and shoot to Chase. He wouldn’t—
“Oh, he wouldn’t. Chase is actually one of the decent models here. It’s that whore, Winston Mills. If you see him walking around, grab him and tell his skank ass he’s gone. Go figure, the author is also hiding him from me.”
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until it becomes apparent for me to breathe again. Chase must feel me staring at him because he turns, catching my stalkerish eyes. I want to pull away, but once those eyes latch onto mine, it’s almost impossible. Chase Green just has this way with me. A force I don’t know how to break. I continue to stare back at him, wishing I could walk across the hall and wrap myself in his arms. Tell him I’m sorry for being so selfish. I wish I could grow a large set of balls and tell him how I really feel about him. The way my body gravitates to him, his touch, his words. I wish… I wish… It’s then it clicks. I wish to be something to Chase. That’s what my wish would be. Chase is staring at me, curious about why I look like a light bulb just went off in my head, but I’m too busy thinking about how the second this signing is over, I’m going to do what I’ve never done before. I’m going to open up to him and be honest about how I feel.
“You have a reader. I’ll catch up with you later. Horrible outdated movie and room service later? I can’t say I need to drink after last night.”
I snap out of my epiphany to look to my right at a man standing in my line. I would agree to that shit. I nod, knowing all too well I plan on blowing her off. Because I have a date with Chase and the confessional later. She scurries off while I turn to my line.
“Hi there, how are you?”
The gentleman, tall and broody, doesn’t respond. He stands there looking at me while holding my book.
“I’m Bailey, nice to meet you.” I proceed to stick out my hand, but he doesn’t take the bait. “Don’t be nervous. I’m just as nervous as you are. Did you want me to sign your book?” I smile, grabbing for my pen.
The man finally steps forward, but instead of handing me the paperback he tosses it onto my table, knocking off books and disorganizing the bookmarks. I hear Amy squeal as a bunch of books fall over into her lap, and I jump back, completely caught off guard at his outlandish move.
“Hey, that wasn’t very—”
“Not nice? You know what’s not nice? This trash you wrote!” He finally speaks, his voice deep and menacing. He takes a predatory step toward me, while I take one back, knocking into my table. He’s seeping with anger, and it’s quickly unsettling for me. “This shit fucked with my wife. Your bullshit and lies you fed her.”
“Sir, I doubt my book—”
“She left me. Your bullshit book caused her to leave me. That bitch told me she was better than me.” He lifts his arm, swiping all the books off the table. Amy screams as I stumble over my two feet. I turn to get out of his personal space, but he’s too quick. His thick fingers latch around my neck as he begins to squeeze.
“You think you can ruin lives for money, bitch?”
His grip tightens. My legs begin to kick as my hands frantically try to rip his hands off my neck. I barely hear the commotion in the background as the air restriction takes effect. I try pleading with him to let me go, but no words escape. My hands get heavier and shear panic sets in. I’m seconds away from losing this battle.
I’m giving it one last ditch effort to release myself, when in an instant, I’m thrown to the ground. Everything happens so fast, as hands grab for me, while I turn to see the man on the ground next to me, Chase on top of him, giving punch after punch.
Dizziness is stopping me from crawling over to Chase to make him stop. Loud voices are everywhere as people run to see the commotion. Amy is on her knees next to me, trying to assess how bad I’m hurt. “Oh my God, Bailey, are you okay?”
“Chase, get him to stop,” I groan, my voice hoarse.
Amy doesn’t register, since I called him by his given name. I lift myself up, grabbing for my throbbing neck. I wince at the pain, but get to my feet. The rush of blood to my brain causes me to sway. I try to get to Chase just when security shows up, ripping him off my assailant. His chest is heaving and before he even composes himself, his wild eyes meet mine.
It’s the frantic look in his eyes that finally causes me to acknowledge what just happened. The shock quickly wearing off, my lower lip begins to quiver. I break away to look at the man who’s still fighting the restraints of the security officers, his angry gaze glued to mine.
Before I fully break down, Chase is lifting me into his arms.
“Chase,” I whisper, as I lay my head into the nook of his neck, and he bulldozers through the curious crowd to get us away from my attacker and out of wandering eyes’ view. Opening up the door to the storage room used for storing all excess paperback boxes, Chase sits on a pile, cradling me in his arms.
“Baby, are you okay? Let me see your face.” His voice is soft, but there’s a slight stutter to it. I pull away, and he begins inspecting my neck. A hiss travels up his throat, as he grazes his finger around my skin. “He’s fucking dead.”
I don’t want to talk about that man. I want to snuggle deeper into the safety of his embrace.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I got you. Don’t cry, baby,” he coos to me, bringing his hands around me, cocooning my body to his.
I hadn’t realized I even started crying, but now that I’ve started I can’t seem to stop. With each sob, I inhale his comforting scent. His warmth surrounds me and in time I begin to settle.
“Katie?”
I lift my head, turning my sore neck toward Kristen standing a few feet away from us, two uniformed officers with her. “Hey, sorry. Something in my eye.”
Kristen huffs at me, eliminating the space between us. “Oh, stop. This is serious. Are you okay?” She bends down to get a better look at me. Remembering I’m in Chase’s lap, I begin to squirm off, but his hold only tightens. Okay then. Not going anywhere.
“Yeah. A little shaken up. Gonna have to find a fashion liking to scarves, I think, but other than that I’ll be okay.”
Another eye roll, but somewhere in there is sympathy. “Katie, if you can be serious for like two seconds, these officers would like to ask you some questions.”
I nod and try prying myself out of Chase’s arms. He’s hesitant to let me go, and Kristen visually notices it. She offers me a quick what’s this all about look, but I ignore her, trying to slap Chase’s hands off me.
“Down, boy, she’ll be right back.” Kristen stands and grabs for my hand as I climb to my feet.
I turn to give Chase a reassuring smile that I’m fine to meet with the law to give my statement.
After spending a solid thirty minutes answering questions I really couldn’t answer, they sent me on my way. No, I didn’t know the man previously. No, I didn’t know his wife. No, I didn’t do anything to antagonize the lunatic for him to attack me.
Chase stood by my side the entire time, his anger building with each ridiculous question they asked me. He eventually told them I’d had enough and needed to rest, pulling me away. Amy told me not to worry about my table mess and she would get it all cleaned up before tomorrow, so Chase led me back to my room, which I was thankful for. As tough as I was acting right now, going back to the crime scene this soon may have cracked my hard shell more than I would have liked.
Opening up my hotel room, I saunter in, throwing my purse on the bed. “Man, so looks like I can scratch being attacked by a psychopath off my bucket list.” I turn, and Chase is on me instantly. Lifting me in his arms and laying my back softly on the mattress.
“No jokes.”
“Since when did you become no fun?” I reply, not wanting to rehash this.
“When I saw some fucking asshole attack you.” He brushes a piece of hair away from my face. His fingers brush against my bruised skin and his eyebrows scrunch with anger.
“I’m fine. Seriously.”
His eyes dip to my neck. “You’re not fine. You’re hurt. I can still feel you shaking.”
“Chase,” I say his name, wanting to correct him, but I can also still feel the small tremors my body is creating over the attack.
“No one’s going to think less of the big bad Katie for feeling upset. Scared. That should happen to no one.”
I’m not liking that he won’t let it go. It scared me, yes. But I just want to drop it.
“Katie, talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say? Yeah, it was messed up. He scared me. He just went off about how I was the one who made his wife leave him. Like as if. He clearly was a total jerk and his wife probably should have left him way before now.” Just as I didn’t want, I can feel myself getting worked up. I didn’t make that woman leave her husband. I’m not the cause of his distress.
“You did nothing wrong, Katie.”
Like he needs to tell me that. “I know I didn’t,” I reply, getting angry.
“Then why are you getting upset?”
“Because. He attacked me. He blamed me for his failures. And then fine, what if it’s my fault? What am I even doing here anyway? This isn’t me. This book thing is not—”
Chase’s lips halt any further rant. He touches my mouth with his, kissing me gently. Once he feels me relax he pulls away. Bastard.
“That’s all I get? I’ll keep ranting if you’re gonna stop.” He doesn’t offer me more of his luscious lips, but even his sexy chuckle is a reward. He brings his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks.
“Don’t discredit how talented you are because of someone else’s downfall. If that woman left her husband after reading the book, it was because you gave her courage to. And after seeing the way he treated you, I think you did a good thing for that woman. I read your book. It has meaning. Even I took something away from it.”
I offer him my cute—okay, not really so cute shy smile. “Oh, yeah, and what insight did I offer you, Green?”
He stares into my eyes, his beautiful irises glowing back at me. “You taught me there is real love out there. And to never settle. Because one day, I would find exactly what my life was missing.”
Okay.
Holy fuck.
He hasn’t looked away from me since he began speaking and the meaning in his words is threatening to smack the wind right out of me.
“I’m… I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean what I said,” I spit out.
He smiles tenderly back at me in return, brushing his thumb along my cheek. “You don’t have to apologize, Katie. You say what you believe, and I envy that about you.”
I’m not sure insulting him on having feelings is being envious. “Yeah, but I shut down anything you were saying. And possibly telling me.” I draw in a big gulp of air and take a leap of faith in us. “And, well, it had me thinking all day. I don’t… I mean, I do believe in love at first sight. If it’s like having emotions that are so strong, it’s almost a painful feeling you can’t dissect. The confusion of how something so crazy can be happening with someone you’ve barely met. When your life just seems brighter. Happier. Hope—”
I welcome his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me with intent, his tongue diving into my mouth and stealing my breath. We kiss for what seems like ages before we eventually break apart. My vision is blurred, but that’s what his kisses usually do to me. He pulls back, his eyes intense with want.
“Katie,” he says my name on a hoarse whisper. I open my mouth to reply, but he places a single finger over my lips. “Just wait. Let me say something.”
I nod, now curious, but allowing him the floor. It takes him a bit to gather himself, but then he speaks.
“That feeling? When you’re unsure if it’s good or bad? The pain of seeing someone so amazing that you don’t know if she’s real or not? I felt that. For you.” He takes a moment to allow his words to settle then continues. “The bafflement at how someone can fall into your life so quickly and you want nothing but to offer her everything? Katie, you’ve become the brightness in my life. Your beauty, your strength. Your big heart. Before I met you, I could agree with you on not believing in instant love. What fool would? But the moment I fell into your room, that changed for me.” He pauses to make sure I’m still with him. My mouth is slightly parted, a little in shock, and partially struggling to breathe.
“I know you’re anti-love. And I’m not telling you this to pressure you. But I need to get it out. Because each second that passes that I hold in how I feel, is like drowning with the truth. I am in love with you, Katie Beller. I have been since the day we met.”
There’s no hiding the gasp that leaves my mouth. “You… you what?” I heard him wrong. I had to.
His laugh resonances as he speaks, “Katie Beller, I’m madly in love with you. You and all your crazy.”
Okay, shit. I heard him right.
“I-I…” I have a sudden stuttering problem. My throat feels thicker than normal and my chest is too tight. “I… shit.” I think he broke me! Chase Green just admitted he is in love with me. ME! All the wishes and hopes. Dreams and aspirations that have flooded my mind since the moment Chase Green fell into my door, all come crashing at me at once, and I say the one thing that concludes all those wants. “I love you. I’ve felt it for a while. But I was too scared to acknowledge it. I was afraid you’d hurt me. But shit. I do love you too. Shit!” I end on a squeal as Chase scares me by jumping off me, now standing on top of the bed over me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, seriously confused. I thought we were having a moment there.
“I’m celebrating. Katie Beller just admitted she loved me!” He laughs and starts howling, all while jumping on the bed. My body bounces in between his jumps and I can’t help but laugh along with him.
“Have you gone mad?”
“Yes. Fucking yes. Madly in love.” He stops instantly, startling me again, then drops down to straddle me. “Fuck, I love you. I’ve been wanting to say that forever.” He dips down, kissing me, his smile evident on my lips. “I have to undress you now,” he says between nips and licks. I have no objections, and we work in unison to tear at one another’s clothes, until we’re flesh against flesh.
“We slipped up yesterday. But I’m not sure I can go back to having anything between us. You okay with that?”
Thankfully I’m on the pill, but if I wasn’t it wouldn’t stop me from telling him yes. I nod and watch as his irises disappear into the blackness. I love that look on him. The need. The lust. The love. He presses my thighs open with his knee, and I open for him willingly. He places his lips to mine and slowly pushes inside. It’s more meaningful than any other time he’s entered me. His movements are unhurried as he pulls out and guides himself back home. His fingers tangle into my hair, lips back on mine. With each kiss, each slow thrust, he strips me of my walls.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” he breathes, spreading kisses up the lining of my chin. He brings a hand down to coddle my breast. The sensation causes my body to arch, the slowness of each thrust making my needy sex pulsate. I moan as he takes my nipple into his grip and softly pinches my hard bud. The low tension in my belly tells me I’m not going to last much longer.
“Chase,” I beg, unsure of what I need. But he does. He knows exactly how to play my body like the perfect violin. The sounds of my arousal are in perfect harmony with each thrust, each pinch, each slow kiss he offers.
“I love you, Katie.” His soft words sift into my ears, into my heart. And I can feel them in my soul. The truth of his admission, the feel of his body taking me to a place only he’s taken me. It’s all too much. A single tear falls from my eyelid as I give in and every nerve ending in my body explodes with ecstasy. I moan out my release, my nails digging into his muscled back. And soon after Chase is following me in his own release.
His weight covers my body, our heated skin, both covered in a sheer layer of sweat. He lifts his hand to wipe away my tear, and I close my eyes, embarrassed at my out of control emotions.
“Why are you crying?” he asks.
“I don’t know. It’s just… this is a lot for me. I… I’ve never said that to anyone before.” My admission shocks him. It’s apparent in the way he inhales, his eyes widen. “I know, it’s a silly thing to get emotional about.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not. And I can’t even begin to explain how happy that makes me… well, not that you’ve never said it. But I’m the lucky bastard who won your heart.” His smile is wicked and so damn sexy. I can’t help but match him. He drops a quick kiss on my lips then goes to cleaning us up. Once done, he wraps us both in the comforter, resting my head on his chest.
“Will you tell me about your life? Growing up, anything?” he asks, combing his fingers through my hair.
I think about my life and all the sadness attached to it. “There’s nothing really to tell. I grew up in a small town in Ohio. My parents died when I was in high school. I went through the whole stepparent bullshit until I was old enough to be on my own. Attempted college, but it didn’t work out. Around the same time, I found the bar and never left.”
“What made you so down on love? So against it?”
He sure is going guns blazing with the questions.
I shrug my shoulders and speak. “I guess I just saw how happy my parents were. They had that forever love. That love most people spend their entire lives searching for. I grew up wanting what they had. But then they died. And it made me realize nothing’s forever.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know your parents were gone.”
More shrugging. “It’s fine. It happened a long time ago. When they died, the feeling of strong love that I felt died with them. I was never treated the way my parents treated me. It made me hard on the inside, and the more of life that passed, I just realized love was not what I thought it was. I watched people claim to love, but cheat. Do horrible things to their spouses, the stories, the deceit. It was nothing compared to what I watched my parents share. And I promised myself I wouldn’t be a victim of this broken love.”
His lips brush my head, offering me a consoling kiss. It feels strange to open up like this, since it’s the first time I’ve actually shared that. I don’t talk much about my parents, because no matter the time that passes, it still hurts.
“Well, can I say I’m glad you opened your door that night and forced me into your room, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to save you from this broken love you speak of.” He places his hands under my armpits, dragging me up his body so our noses are brushing. “You can call me super Chase. And if you ask nicely, I’ll even wear a cape for you.” He laughs as I smack him in the chest. He doesn’t skip a beat and kisses me senselessly. I’m feeling bold and climb up, straddling him, placing my palms on his rock-hard pecks.
“My turn with the twenty questions. Why aren’t you in the NHL? From everything I hear about you, you’re really good at hockey. Why you hanging out with crazy authors, risking your reputation instead of the NHL?”
Okay, maybe wrong question to start with. The spark in his eyes dulls and it’s obvious I’ve hit a sore subject. “Hey, I’m sorry. You don’t have—”
“No, it’s fine. It’s…” He stalls, taking in a deep breath before finishing. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated how? I’m sure you’re awesome. Everyone should be banging down your door.”
“Well, it’s not that easy. I started in the minors. Signed a contract with an agent. It’s his job to get me there. And, well, there have been some roadblocks.”
That doesn’t sound good, but I’m still shocked why someone as eager and passionate as Chase wouldn’t fight through those. “Well, you should tell them to get you signed or you’re going to get another agent. You’re not getting any younger, buddie,” I joke, wiggling my hips.
“I’m trying. I’m in the works with a lawyer. But right now, things are kinda messed up. Let’s just say I got myself in a bind I don’t know how to get out of without sabotaging my entire hockey career. And all I want is to play. So, I have to tread lightly right now.”
My eyes don’t hide my concern for him. If he’s in trouble, then I hope he’s getting the proper guidance he needs. He’s confessed since the beginning about people taking advantage of him for who he is. He lifts his finger to caress my eyebrow.
“Sounds messy. Do you need me to kick anyone’s ass? Give me a name and number. I’ll take care of it.”
He smiles gently, working his hand down my face to cup my cheek. “Thanks, but this is something I have to handle. And as soon as I get it worked out things are going to be good again.”
His words worry me. “Are you okay, Chase?”
“I am with you.” He wraps his hand around my neck, bringing me down to meet his lips. I could never get tired of kissing him. We kiss until the air in our lungs expires, and he offers a nice slap to my bare ass cheek. “Now. I say we order a sick amount of pizza and you reenact some of those sex scenes in your book.”
I shake my head, laughing. “Stop reading my book, Green.”
“Stop being so wonderful.”