I hung up on Chase. I refused to let him see the hurt. Shit, I didn’t even want to see it. Kristen took cover after that. Because I was done being sad. So those feelings took the bench and anger suited up. I whipped her phone across the room, which Kristen impressively threw her arm up and caught before it smashed against Gerdie’s cage. I screamed and yelled. I threw things and cussed up a storm. When I took a swift kick to my dresser, yelping in horrible pain, I finally called it quits. Mainly because I was pretty positive I broke my toe. I sat on the floor and began to cry. And we’re not talking weeping. I’m talking angry sobs. What was happening to me?
Kristen first convinced me it was because I was in love and love hurts sometimes. Well, duh. Once she got me to calm down, she then convinced me to let her take me to the ER since I most likely broke something. An X-ray and a sweet boot later, I was back home.
Kristen stayed with me for a few more days while I licked my wounds, then had to get back to Chicago. Not knowing what was going to happen with Chase’s attendance, she had to prepare for his absence. Then there was the discussion of mine. Was I going to stick it out or drop? I signed the contract to complete the entire tour. Kristen wouldn’t personally hold me to it if I really didn’t want to show, but her lawyers and her publishing company would.
She gave me the time I needed to decide and when I finally made up my mind, I told her I’d still attend. I wasn’t going to hide. I had a week until the signing to get ahold of my emotions and stability. It helped that those seven days were spent at the bar working like a slave due to all the days I missed. Dex kept his distance, but he never brought up what happened. I tried to apologize again, but he shut me down every time. I hated how he was treating me like I was nobody to him, but I guess I also deserved it.
It was also a matter of time before Chrissy Baker walked into the bar and threw the Charlie Bates comment back in my face. And boy had she been practicing her swing before she strolled in, ready for me. I just wish I were ready for her.
It was a slow Monday night when Chrissy strolled in with a new sidekick, assuming Stacey is out. Sleeping with your firend’s husband clearly gets you kicked out of the mean girls’ club, I presume. I’m the only one on call tonight because Randy is off and on a date. I’m pouring a few draft beers for a group of college guys when they take two open seats at the bar.
“Oh, hey, Katie, didn’t think you’d be popping out in public so soon.”
I turn to see her smiling, resembling an ugly hairless cat.
“And why’s that?” I ask, pouring foam out of the glass and refilling.
“Well, because of that whole Charlie Bates thing. Looks like you made all that up. How embarrassing. And for him to publicly admit he didn’t even know you.” She and her dumb friend start laughing. “I mean, you couldn’t think someone like Charlie Bates would seriously go for you? And people would believe it, do you?”
Dex steps behind me, bringing his hand over mine and lifting the beer tap up since I froze, the beer overflowing the glass. “Go take a break.” He leans in and softly demands in my ear.
My knuckles are white squeezing the tap. Thoughts of me losing my job and some jail time flow through my head. I should listen to Dex. But that’s not what I do.
I release my death grip and wrap my hands around the two full draft beers. I make my way down the bar, right in front of Chrissy, and lean in.
“Oops, you caught me. Charlie Bates? Be into me? Ha, that is kinda funny, isn’t it? Oh, well. I’ll just have to find another guy who wouldn’t think twice about someone like me and make up another hot sex scandal with. Speaking of sex scandal, how are Stacey and your husband doing? Now that had to burn, huh? Glad to see you’re also able to show your face after that complete embarrassment. I mean, your best friend sleeping around with your husband? Wow.”
Chrissy’s smile is long gone, her snarl quickly taking its place.
“But hey, if you can still show your face after your ex-best friend changes her profile pic to her and your man? Then props to you, girl.”
Chrissy gasps, and I smile, leaning back. Her friend is quickly pulling out her phone in search of said photo, which I totally lied about, but I don’t care. I push off the bar, tell Dex I’m taking that break, and don’t look back.
I go hide in the back office, and before I know it, it’s been well past fifteen minutes. I’m cradled in a chair staring at the ashtray, debating on taking up smoking. People who smoke seem to love it. Constantly taking smoke breaks, sucking those sticks into their lungs one after another. Maybe it would give me a hobby outside of being a bitch. I’m just starting to calm down when Dex comes into the office.
“Just don’t.” I wave at him, too embarrassed to even make eye contact.
He doesn’t say anything, but he does bend down and pluck me off the chair, maneuvering us so he’s now sitting and I’m cradled in his lap.
“Dex, what are you doing?” I ask, a tiny smile on my face.
“Just don’t talk. I thought you girls like this cuddly shit.”
My smile widens and I lay my head on his chest. “I’m not really a normal girl, though.”
He presses his lips to my head but doesn’t follow through with his kiss. “You sure aren’t.”
Dex and I didn’t say anything else. He allowed me the comfort I needed. I’m sure this was also him telling me he accepted my apology. We got back to work. Chrissy was long gone when I came back out and there was no mention of what happened.
Phew.
We also don’t talk about the fact that I leave for New York tomorrow. The final leg of the signing tour.
For the past seven days, I’ve prepared. I have worn myself thin each night at the bar, allowing myself to come home and crash, then repeat. But tomorrow I can’t hide behind work. I have to get on a plane, enter a world that lingers with so many memories. Good and bad. And then see Chase. I’ve had time to work out the emotions, and I know Kristen has made accommodations to move our tables and specifically put our rooms on opposite sides of the hotel. We should have minimal contact, and the small part we do, I can handle it.
Making it home, I see a package on my doorstep. Kristen’s name by the return address, I smile and lug it inside. Dropping my keys on the table, I whistle to Gerdie that I’m home and grab for a pair of scissors.
Dropping myself onto my couch, I rip the box open and pull out a box, the Converse logo on the side and a letter.
Kat-
You’re an amazing person inside and out. Don’t ever think otherwise. Thank you for loving me enough to do this. I know it took a lot to agree to the tour. (Minus the whole lawyer/contract/possible lawsuit babble, of course).
I thought I’d send you a little gift to help brighten this journey for you. Plus, I may have noticed the cut-up pair of green Converse in your garbage. Thought you could use a new color in your life. It reminds me of you. Fierce.
Love you, girl.
-Kristen
I open the box to a new bright red pair of Converse.