Chapter Six
Henry wriggled so much that Nick was sure the car was vibrating.
“Are we there yet?”
Nick smiled. “Not yet, buddy. Pretty soon.”
Was there anything better as a kid than seeing Santa? Nick could still remember being little and waiting in that long line that seemed as if it would take forever to get to the front, and being so excited he could hardly stand it.
Nick loved doing this with Henry. And at four and a half, he was old enough to really get into Christmas now.
But while Henry was a bouncing ball of enthusiasm, Ellie sat silently in the passenger seat scrolling through her phone. He was hoping this trek to the mall would get her into the holiday spirit.
She’d been acting weird lately. Quiet and avoiding him and he didn’t know why. He’d tried to figure out if he’d done something to make her mad. He’d asked her several times but she’d only smiled at him and told him she was fine, no he hadn’t done anything to irritate her, and that she had a lot on her mind.
He knew the holiday season was tough on her, but hiding from it wasn’t going to help. Besides, there was Henry, and the more she got into Christmas, the happier her son would be. So he’d do whatever it took to make sure they were both happy.
They parked and went into the mall. Ellie said she had some shopping to do, and he knew what that meant. She wanted Nick to take Henry to see Santa. It’s what he’d done every year since Henry was a baby. First, just for photos, and then when Henry got old enough, so he could sit on Santa’s lap and give Santa his list.
Typically, Nick wouldn’t mind, but not this year.
This was the year he wanted Ellie to get into the holiday, to be more present. Not just for Henry but for herself.
Ellie needed to find her joy in the holidays again.
He took her by the hand.
“Let’s all go see Santa,” he said.
“Yeah,” Henry said, looking at Ellie. “You’re coming, aren’t you, Momma”
Ellie looked at Nick, then down at Henry. Nick had caught the surprise, the hesitation. He knew she’d normally bow out and do something else.
But then she graced Henry with that beautiful smile of hers. “Of course I am.”
Nick couldn’t hold back the sigh of relief.
Joy. Come on, Ellie. You can do this.
They made their way to the center court, where Santa’s village was located. The line wasn’t too bad, fortunately. Plus, they sold tickets so you could have a designated time. Their time was in thirty minutes, so they decided to wander.
“How about you take Henry and go do something while I shop for a bit?” Ellie asked.
“Why?” Nick asked.
“Because I need to browse some things.” She motioned with her head toward Henry.
“Oh. Sure. Come on, buddy. Let’s go look at window displays.”
Nick took his hand and they wandered the mall. Henry liked to stop and look at everything, and fortunately there were a couple of toy stores. They stopped in one and Henry amused himself with all the toys. Okay, so maybe Nick amused himself with all the toys, too.
“I want trains,” Henry said.
He didn’t have a train yet. Nick could see both of them having serious fun with this. He’d have to talk to Ellie about getting him a starter set for Christmas.
“I guess you’ll have to tell Santa you want a train for Christmas, then.”
“Okay!”
Nick tried to encourage Henry to explore some of the other things in the store, but he didn’t want to leave the train area and happily played there, eating up all the time they had.
“We gotta go, Henry. Time to see Santa.”
Henry slipped his small hand in Nick’s as they walked out of the store. “I’m gonna tell Santa I want a train. Will he bring me one?”
“I dunno, buddy. Have you been a good boy this year?”
Henry looked up at him with eyes that looked just like John’s. “’Course I have. I’m always a good boy.”
These were the times when Nick’s chest ached, thinking how John would have been such a great dad.
But he wasn’t here, and Nick would always be around for Henry.
Always. And he’d make sure that Henry knew what an amazing man his father had been.
Ellie wandered the aisles, stopping when she saw the black sweater.
Nick looked amazing in black, but she’d gotten him a sweater for Christmas last year. Still, as she fingered the material, she lingered at the soft fabric, imagining running her hands over Nick’s chest.
Seriously, Ellie. Not gonna happen.
She really had to find Nick a woman—a woman who was not her.
Deciding the sweater was so not a good idea considering her wayward thoughts, she moved on, eventually leaving the store. She took a break and grabbed a seat, deciding to mull over thoughts of a gift for Nick while people watching.
She caught sight of a couple around the same age as her. The guy reminded her a lot of John. Cute, with dark hair and glasses, he leaned over and laughed at something his girlfriend or wife said. In between them was a little girl a couple of years older than Henry.
Her heart ached at the picture they made. So happy.
She and John and Henry would have been happy, too. If only…
She snapped herself out of that thought process, the one she’d lived in for far too long.
No. Not anymore. She wouldn’t be happy living in the past, refusing to move forward.
That wasn’t her anymore. That wasn’t her life anymore. Her life with John was in the past. She had to start dreaming of a future. A future of happiness and laughter and life and love and one with Henry in it.
Henry was her future.
But she took another glance at the couple and their little girl, and she couldn’t help the wistful smile on her face.
Nick and Henry met up with Ellie at Santa’s village. She had a couple of bags in her hands.
“Want me to hold those?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, thanks. I’ve got it.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Oh, so you bought me something.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” He slanted a grin at her.
Ellie rolled her eyes. “You’re like a child, Nick. Except that you can wait for Christmas.”
He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, “I know where you hide the gifts.”
She turned to face him, her eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He realized their lips were only inches apart. It would be so easy to kiss her, but they were in the middle of the mall and Henry was there. Plus there was that whole situation with her fixing him up the other night, and that caused him some hesitation about making a move.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t ruin Christmas by peeking. Just make sure you don’t go hunting down your gift.”
She looked surprised. “You got me a gift?”
“Don’t I always?”
“But I haven’t told you what I wanted yet.”
“I know you haven’t.”
“What if I want dish towels?”
He gave her a horrified look. “Who asks for dish towels for Christmas?”
She lifted her chin. “We need new ones. The old ones are raggedy.”
“Then we’ll go buy some. But I can guarantee you, Ellie, you’re not getting dish towels for Christmas.”
“Fine.” She had stayed close to him, which he liked. She smelled good, something like cotton candy.
They only had to wait a few minutes before it was their turn.
Henry climbed up on Santa’s lap. Whatever it was he was telling Santa, he was very animated about it. The two of them had quite the conversation, and Santa laughed.
“What do you think he’s asking Santa for?” Ellie asked.
“Probably a train set. He was all over the one in the toy store.”
Ellie turned to Nick. “Trains? Really?”
“Yeah.”
“That could be fun.”
“I thought so, too.”
“We’ll definitely have to get him a set.”
He nodded. “I know exactly which one he wants.”
Ellie gave him a look. “You sure it’s not the set you want?”
Nick laughed. “Okay, maybe we both like trains.”
“Obviously.”
“Fine. Trains it is.”
His lips curved as they waited for Henry.
Today had been a good day. They could all be good together.
He saw that.
So why didn’t Ellie?