Beef pointed up into the clouds. At first, all that Alec saw was the dark of the ceiling and a small catwalk tracing its way less than ten feet below the roof. Beef asked, “Do you see that one up there? It’s a tiny thing in a way, but you know what a perfectionist I am. The stage director noticed it, too. You’re better at scrambling up there than me.”

Alec spotted the light. “Yeah, I can get it. No more rehearsals, right? You said we go live on Saturday.”

“Yep, and thank you for coming out tonight. I’ll make sure you get paid overtime. Only the dedicated show up the night before Thanksgiving. At least that’s true unless their show is already live, and they’re in the middle of a performance run.”

Alec asked, “So what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Are you staying here in town? Does your wife cook a turkey?”

Beef shook his head. “No, I sort of wish we were, but we’re bundling into the car first thing in the morning and driving to the in-laws. It’s kind of a special Thanksgiving so yeah, it’s okay. At least my mother-in-law is a good cook, and the father-in-law watches football.”

“Special Thanksgiving? What makes it more special than any other?”

“Oh, fuck, man, I forgot to tell you.” Beef gripped Alec’s shoulder. “I’m going to be a dad. Can you believe that? It’s exciting. The home test was positive about a week back, and the doc confirmed it yesterday. There’s going to be a little me runnin’ around.”

“Is the world ready for that?”

Beef’s laughter echoed off the walls of the auditorium. “Yeah, man, you know it. That’s what I said. They all better beware. I’ll probably scare the heck out of my little one’s friends. And can you see a baby in my arms? He or she will be so fucking tiny.”

Alec said, “Congratulations, bud. Seriously. You better tell me when she goes into labor. The only thing good about a hospital is the maternity ward. I love seeing all of those little babies. I was at the hospital a few hours after one of my cousins had a little one. It was pretty damn sweet. So do you know what you want? A girl or a boy?”

“Aww, man, I’m happy as long as he or she is healthy. You know, I worry about shit like that. And as long as mom’s healthy, too, I’m good. I’m curious, though, since my wife’s so tiny and I’m me, will the baby be in between or more like one or the other of us?”

“Might be even bigger than you.” Alec stepped into a harness to help carry him up into the rafters and grinned. “Please send along my congratulations. Give her a big hug for me. That is a big thing. Did you take her out to dinner to celebrate?”

“Oh, the pregnancy is a secret right now. She doesn’t want to tell friends until another month or so goes by. I already screwed up telling you, so keep it quiet. We didn’t have time to celebrate before getting ready for the little Thanksgiving trip, but my in-laws called me, and they want to pay for a dinner out for my wife and me. We’re going for a fancy one Friday night up there, and then we come home Saturday morning. I’m looking forward to it. I haven’t been out for a good steak dinner in a long time. The finances have been a little on the slim side recently.”

“I love celebrations like that. When I bussed tables at a restaurant in high school, I remember one night when a guy proposed to his girlfriend. She screamed. It wasn’t a light one either. It was a bloody murder scream. The manager raced over and wondered what was going on.

Beef chuckled. “Was she happy? Or was she terrified?”

“Maybe both. She did say yes.”

“You know, before I hoist you up into the sky, how are things with your mom gone? I know that can be tough around the holidays.”

Alec took a deep breath. He said, “I’m okay about Mom. It still hurts sometimes. I was a little surprised because we didn’t get along that well when she was here, but we were almost all each other had in terms of family. The last few years were a little better. She mellowed some with age. I guess I shouldn’t leave my aunt and uncle out when I talk about family, but I’m not close to them.”

“No more bad dreams about her?”

Alec shook his head. “No, but I had one about Satch the other night, and that kind of turned everything ass upward.”

Beef gave Alec a light shove on the chest. “What? Do you remember what you promised me when I took you to the grocery store after I found those pills?”

“Fuck, yeah, I know. I told you I’d call if shit got bad again. I’m not sure this counts. I’m not feeling bad. I’m tired. My gut is exhausted. I’d rather just think about this work. It’s making me happy.”

“If it’s something getting you down at all, it counts. If I catch you with pills again, I might drown you to put us all out of our misery.”

“Heh, I’d like to see you try.” Beef flexed his right bicep. “Well, damn, yeah, I guess you’re about the only guy who could hold me down if I seriously wanted to get away.”

“The story?”

“Oh, yeah, well, you know that I was seeing the guy next door.”

Beef nodded. “Yep, his name’s Jensen, isn’t it?”

Alec didn’t want to say the name out loud. Somehow, if he didn’t say it, he felt like he missed Jensen a little bit less. Alec nodded. “Yeah, him. Anyway, he stayed over, and I had a nightmare about Satch. I woke up in the middle of the night. They still happen, but I don’t think I’d had one for at least six months.”

“Wow, that’s been years, buddy, and you’re back to work now. It’s time to finally let Satch go. He was a great guy, but accidents happen. We all know that when we sign up for this kind of work.”

Alec nodded and pointed at his head. “Yeah, I know that in here, and you do, too, but you don’t have my dreams. All the guys were standing around pointing at me saying it was my fault. They said shit like I didn’t check the wires, and I was wimping out on my job.”

Beef grabbed Alec’s shoulders. “For once and for all, I was there! It wasn’t your fucking fault. I know you loved him. I understand that, but it was faulty equipment. He wouldn’t have known what happened either. He was gone the moment he hit the floor.”

Alec kicked at the concrete and shuddered. Every once in a while, he saw the accident replayed on a tape loop in his head even though it happened years ago. “So, fuck, if I still have those nightmares, how long will Mom’s cancer stick with me? I know I said it’s better, but damn, I’m fucked up, Beef. I can’t expect Jensen to deal with that. My brain hangs on to shit forever.”

“I’m confused. Did he drop you? I’d kick his ass if he did.”

“No, no. Hold up. He didn’t do that, but I’m a pretty low priority in his thoughts these days. To be fair, his best friend is hurt, so I guess I’m sort of whining about it. You know, let’s get the work done. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Beef’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to sort everything out. “Friend? Hurt? What’s going on in your neighborhood, buddy? It sounds like a mess.”

“Yeah? Well, welcome to my corner of the world. I’m the guy with the dark cloud hanging over my head. My mom died. My neighbor’s best friend almost got wiped out on the highway. I’d avoid me if I could.”

Beef stared into Alec’s eyes. “You like him, don’t you? That’s how I always know. The shit you don’t want to talk about is what you really care about. He got under your skin, didn’t he? It might be the first time anybody’s done that since Satch. You know Satch would want you to find somebody. He was that kind of guy.”

“But, damn, he’s likely to end up dead, too, if he hangs around me too long.”

“Now you’re talking fucking crazy, and you know that.” Beef reached out and gripped both sides of Alec’s head. “You didn’t have anything to do with what happened to Satch or your mom, and definitely nothing to do with the friend’s crash. Oh man, I just thought of something my grandma used to say. I didn’t get it when I was a little kid, but damn, her comment fits this perfectly. Do you know what she said?”

Alec tried to shake his head, but Beef’s grip was too tight. “How would I know? I don’t know your Grandma. She’s probably dead, too.”

Beef smirked. “You’d be the guy that would make me laugh at a funeral. Anyway, she said, ‘Some people have darker clouds and more rain in their lives, but I know from the garden, the more rain, the bigger and brighter the flowers.’”

Alec sighed. “Fertilizer helps, too.”

“Damn, I knew I shouldn’t share that one with a gardener. You know, buddy, I’m not the one to tell you what to do…”

Alec cut him off. “Fuck, yes you are. At least you think you are. You do tell me what to do.”

“Am I right?”

Alec sighed. “I’ll give you about an 85% grade. That’s a B.”

“Well, as I said, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I think you need to go after him. He means too much to you. He’s not Satch, and he’s not your mom. His name is…damn, what was it again.”

“Jensen.” Alec held a hand up to his mouth. He wanted to laugh. He didn’t want to say the name, but it tumbled out anyway. Alec knew that he needed to see Beef’s words of wisdom through.

“You need to go after Jensen. Promise me that you will.”