As soon as the door closed behind his neighbor, Jensen, Alec wanted to pull it back open and shout for him to come back. Unfortunately, the ego beast sitting on Alec’s shoulder said, “No! He’s hitting on you, and he doesn’t even know you. What’s up with that? He needs to show some respect.”

Beyond the ego, something deep in Alec’s gut didn’t mind someone hitting on him, but it brought back a raft of painful memories. It brought back a series of promising dating relationships that ended in a pile of smoking wreckage when the connection crashed and burned.

The dark cloud descended even lower over Alec’s house, and it didn’t stay outside. It seeped through the closed doors and the locked windows until all of the colors, even the ones in the brightly-colored quilt on the bed where Coral slept, turned gray.

The time off from work was approaching a month, and Alec’s boss was getting testy. Alec feared he might be fired, but at least Coral did leave a small cash nest egg behind and a life insurance policy. Alec assumed that she was broke. Her little house was part of a neighborhood everyone thought would gentrify, but it slowly slid downhill instead. The house was probably worth less than the land it occupied. Selling it would likely take at least six months, but Coral’s savings account was available immediately. Alec was the only person mentioned in the brief will she left behind.

Alec’s days descended into a dull cycle of waking no earlier than 10:00 a.m. and going to sleep by 8:00 p.m. with only two meals in between. Alec wasn’t sure if most observers would consider them meals. Lunch was breakfast cereal, and dinner was pizza. He ate from the same pizza order for four days before calling for a new one.

Somewhere along the way Alec turned 40. It was supposed to be one of those big birthdays. It was supposed to feel like a mid-life crisis. Alec couldn’t remember what happened on the day. He forgot to celebrate.

One late afternoon in early November, Alec sat in front of the TV watching endless sitcom reruns with a scowl on his face. The doorbell rang, and he shouted, “I didn’t order a pizza!”

The bell rang again, and Alec shouted, “Coming!” As he approached the door, he muttered, “This’d better not be my fucking neighbor.”

A small smile teased the corner of Alec’s mouth when he pulled the door open. At last, it was a face he was happy to see. Seeing his old friend, Alec exclaimed, “Beef! Shit! I didn’t expect it to be you. Are you out cruising the neighborhood? Why didn’t you call?”

In his gruff, gravelly voice, Beef, a mountain of a man, said, “I heard about your mom. You didn’t call me, you shithead. I thought I’d better stop to see how you are. Can I come inside? It’s cold and wet out here.”

Alec met his buddy Beef on his very first paid job as a lights rigger. He learned countless tricks of the trade from the man. Beef stood at least six-foot-five-inches tall and weighed somewhere in the range of 250, but there was not an ounce of fat on his body. Beef’s real name was Gerald, but Alec couldn’t remember anyone ever using that name except on formal documents. As Beef stepped inside, Alec glanced around the living room and cringed at what his friend was likely to see.

Beef groaned. “Damn, buddy, you aren’t doing so hot are you? But fuck, your mom died. I’d be a wreck if that happened, too. I have to admit that I worry about my parents too much.”

Alec self-consciously tried to straighten the junk mail and books lying around while he spoke to his friend. Unfortunately, every time he moved something, it uncovered something worse, like bowls caked with the remains of a cereal meal or old pizza crusts. “Well, you know. It’s not likely to be the neatest house in the world when it’s a single guy living alone and all.”

“Let me help with that. I should get you out into some fresh air. Have you gone anywhere in the last week? I still miss you on the jobs. Are you going to work at the hospital? Grief’s an ugly monster. She really is. It’s like Medusa with the snakes coming out of her head.”

Alec felt a shiver race through his body when he heard the word grief. He hated the concept. It always sounded like something preying on a weak soul. Coral was already dead for more than two weeks. Alec thought the worst of the grief was surely over.

Alec said, “Seriously, I’m okay. I’m planning to go back to work in a few days. I needed some rest first. It’s all good. Do you need a beer, buddy?”

“What I need is a trash bag. Shit, Alec, don’t live like this. You’re making me worry about you. Maybe you should call a maid.”

Alec looked around the room again and realized it was a pit. He couldn’t remember the last time his place looked like that. It never did in the house. Maybe his apartment back before he dropped out of college was a pit. He exited the room for the kitchen and pulled a drawer open. Alec called back toward the living room. “I’m out of trash bags, but I’ve got a few of the plastic ones from the grocery. I’ve been using those.”

“Whatever. Bring me a couple. Shit.”

Alec handed over the plastic bags and saw a small pile created by Beef on the floor consisting of pizza garbage, copies of receipts, and the mail that piled up every day. He said, “Here you go, and man, it is nice of you to do this for me.”

“When’s the last time you’ve been to the grocery store? It looks like you eat two things.”

“I went um, maybe a week-and-a-half ago. I picked up some more cereal and milk. I’m running low. I’ll go later tonight.”

“I think you’d better go with me. Have you got a broom in this place?”

Alec grinned. “I do have that. There’s a vacuum, too, of course. I’ll go get the broom.”

Alec felt helpless while he watched his friend sweep the hardwood floor and dump the trash into bags. Friends weren’t supposed to walk through the door and start cleaning your place. Jensen did the same thing when he came over with food. Alec turned away from Beef and held his hands up to the side of his face.

Beef reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “Hey, buddy, are you okay? Seriously. Do I need to call for some professional help?”

Alec turned back around. “No, fuck, no. Here, give me the broom. You sit there on the couch. I do have beer in the fridge. Do you need a beer?”

“What I need right now is a pitstop in the bathroom.” Beef handed the broom to Alec. “Can you point me in the right direction?”

Alec groaned realizing that Beef had never been in his house long enough to need the bathroom. The only reason he was there long enough during the current visit was his interest in the cleaning chores. Thinking about it made Alec cringe. He took the broom, and through clenched teeth, he pointed. “Up the stairs and straight ahead.”

While Beef was gone, Alec swept the living room floor. He found a few pizza crusts that somehow made it into the corners of the room. He started to make a list in his mind of things to do to pull his shit back together. He needed to go to the grocery store, make sure there was gas in the car, get online and check for jobs, and start the process to cash in Coral’s life insurance policy.

Alec looked up when he heard the sound of Beef rushing down the stairs. It sounded like a small herd of buffalo. As Beef stepped up close, he waved an open pill bottle in Alec’s face. “What the fuck? What are you doing? Are you using this? That’s not your fucking name on the label!”

“What? Man, are you looking around in my medicine cabinet? Who does that? Shit! Yeah, that was my mom’s prescription, but I tripped on the steps the other day and twisted my ankle. I took a pill or two, so I could sleep.”

Beef thrust the bottle close enough to Alec’s eyes that it blurred in his vision. “Why don’t I trust you on this shit? I can tell you why I decided to look in the medicine cabinet, Alec! You’re letting your home turn into a shithole, and that’s not you. You’re medicating yourself into a place where you don’t care. Meds like this nearly killed my brother.”

Alec reached out to put an arm around Beef’s shoulder. Somewhere deep inside, he was happy that his friend was worried. Alec was a little concerned about himself, but he knew he’d bounce back. He always did. After all, his mom lived into her 60s, and she was a hell of a lot more of a mess than her remaining son.

Alec said, “I’m okay. Like I said, it was for a little pain in the ankle.” Alec hobbled slightly on his left ankle to demonstrate. “See, it’s still a little tender. My mom’s meds took the edge off.”

Beef folded his arms across his chest. He glared at Alec as he watched the acting effort. “I don’t believe you. I wonder if I should call somebody right now.”

“What the fuck? What do you mean? I’m fine. Shit.”

“Are you clean? How many of these did you take this morning?”

Alec felt icy fingers at the base of his spine. He couldn’t remember whether he took any pills when he got up or not. He guessed that he might have, but he couldn’t tell Beef that he didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about what might happen if he told Beef he couldn’t remember.

Alec said, “I’m clean. I took a few a couple of days ago. I’m fine now. Let me get you a beer.”

As Alec started to turn toward the kitchen, Beef reached out to grip his shoulder. Alec pushed back, and Beef reached for the back of his neck. “Shit, man, I care about you!”

Alec tried to twist free, and he landed a grazing punch against Beef’s rock-hard abs. It was the wrong move. Beef’s response was quick and devastating. In seconds, Alec found himself on his knees with the side of his face resting against the hardwood floor. Beef’s huge hand clamped down around the back of Alec’s neck.

Alec growled, “Damn! What the fuck! Is this an assault? Let me go, you ass!”

“I should send you somewhere to clean up. Your mom died. That’s rough, but it doesn’t mean you should take pills to get over it unless a doctor prescribes them for you. This shit is addictive. If you need a counselor, I can help you find a good one.”

Alec slowly pushed his way to his knees and reached out to climb onto the couch. “You wouldn’t send a friend to a fucking institution. Like I said, I’m clean.”

“Why don’t you prove it? I’ve got an idea how you can with something that might be good for you. Why don’t you get back on a lighting crew? You can’t hang from the rafters when you’re high as a kite. You and I both know that.”

“I’m not high. Fuck!” Alec reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. Beef sat in a chair, and Alec breathed a sigh of relief. He said, “Are you sure they’ll hire me here? I got a bad rep after I left that show in the lurch after the accident. I do miss it, though. I guess if they won’t hire me here, I can drive my ass down to Chicago and sign on somewhere.”

“It’s been years, Alec, and I always told you I understood. After Satch…shit.” Beef paused for a moment. “I’ve told you that you can come back. I’ll throw your name around. Some of the guys still ask about you. By the way, I’m taking this bottle with me.”

Alec started to reach out for the pills and then pulled his hand back. “Okay, sure, just make sure you’re not taking ‘em.” He tried to crack a small smile, but Beef’s scowl didn’t change. He tried to change the subject. “So, how’s your life? Any kids on the way yet? You’ve got that beautiful blushing bride at home.”

“She’s doing fine, and I’m going to call her. She needs to know that I’ll be later than I thought getting home.”

Alec waved a hand. “No, go. I’m fine. I’ll prove it to you. The keys are there by the door in the kitchen, and I’ll grab them and pull out of the driveway right after you. I’ll take that trip for groceries.”

Beef hauled his bulk out of the chair. He said, “Here’s what we’ll do. I’m following you to the grocery store, and if I see any weird shit in your driving, then you’re pulling over. I’ll help you get what you need, and I’ll be back at this time tomorrow to make sure everything’s still going well.”

“Damn! I’m not a fucking kid. You’re acting a little like a nanny here. Give me some fucking credit. My mom just up and died, and she was staying right here in this damned house.” Alec lowered his head into his hands and willed the tears not to flow.

Beef reached out a hand to Alec’s shoulder. “You are one tough bastard, but I need to make sure you stay that way.”