Chapter 14

CARRIE

I’m sitting at my laptop, staring at the screen in shock, my mouth hanging open. I look at the page several times, and each time that I do, I become more and more convinced that what I am seeing isn’t true. It can’t be? And yet, there is no way that it isn’t.

I woke up with thoughts of Lyndsey. Even though I wasn’t adopted into her family until I was eight, she always did her best to make me feel like I belonged. For that, I was forever grateful and could never thank her enough.

So, as I lay in bed, I decided to do something that I hadn’t done since she had died. I was going to delete her Facebook page. Her parents, well, my adoptive parents, asked me to handle the technical side of things concerning Lyndsey’s death and I readily agreed. Closing her Facebook account may seem like a small thing, but to me, it is a huge deal. It’s an admission that she is gone. Forever.

I hadn’t so much as touched it since she passed as she hardly used it, and now, it is like I am erasing her. But it has to be done. For closure, if nothing else.

But before I deleted it, I decided to go through her old photos, and that was when I saw him. Photos of Blake, a much younger Blake, plastered throughout an album of her high school memories before Facebook. As I devoured each photo, I very slowly began to realize who Blake is.

He is Lyndsey’s ex-boyfriend. The two dated in high school and broke up just before college. I never met the guy, but I knew of him. One thing in particular, I remember it like it was yesterday. Lyndsey came to me in tears. She told me that she had gotten pregnant by Blake. But that wasn’t why she was crying. She was crying because she said that he dumped her once she told him she was pregnant. She then had a miscarriage and to cope with the sadness she started drinking and doing drugs, which spiraled out of control over time. Her twenties were spent in and out of rehab. My sister had only just got her life back on track when she died.

I sit at my laptop, still staring at her Facebook page. I can’t believe that it is him. I should have known that he knew Lyndsey, as the two went to the same high school and were in the same year, but I never made the connection.

And now, he wants me to have his baby. The irony isn’t lost on me one little bit.

What is odd is how torn I am by the whole thing. On the one hand, a part of me has hated this man since that day Lyndsey came to me. I used to lie awake and plot what I would do if I ever came across him in real life. The revenge I would seek. But now, I don’t know what to do. I like him. I do. But do I like him enough?

Sure, he’s handsome and sweet, but he hurt my sister. He broke her apart, and from that, she never recovered. Despite my feelings for the guy, I just don’t know if I can go through with what he wants.

I seethe as more and more memories come back to me. That day in particular, as my sister wept on the floor of my bedroom. Lost in the moment, I come up with a plan, a delightfully devilish one that my sister would be proud of.

I am going to have his baby. And I will take his money. But when I do, I will also take the baby with me. I will disappear off the map and raise the baby as my own, in honor of Lyndsey. Yes, that’s all I can do. It’s what I have to do.

The moment the plan settles in, I pick up my phone and text Blake, “I’ll do it.” I know that if I don’t, I will chicken out. The text goes through, and I stare at my phone, wondering if I have done the right thing. Yes, I have.

It’s as I stare at my phone that it suddenly vibrates in my hand. It’s Blake calling me. I consider not answering. I don’t know if I can speak to him right now. But cooler heads prevail and I do.

“Hello,” I say.

“Do you mean it?” He asks on the other end of the line.

“I do,” I say.

Despite myself, I can’t help but smile.

“Amazing!” he says. “I’m looking forward to making a baby with you.”

“Oh yeah?” I say coyly. “Make? I thought we were going to do an insemination type thing?”

“We could do that, I suppose,” he says, sounding as if he is thinking on it. “But where is the fun in that?”

“I didn’t know this was for fun,” I say. As I do, I stand and walk over to my bed, sitting on the end of it.

“It isn’t, but why not have some anyway? It will be worth your while, I promise.”

“Oh, yeah,” I breath down the line, making my voice nice and throaty. “How worth it?”

“I wish I didn’t have to leave the other night. Then I would have shown you. But let’s just say that you’re going to be getting more than you bargained for. A whole lot more.”

I don’t know how it has happened, but I suddenly find myself becoming very hot. Intolerably hot. And not from the weather, but the words being spoken by Blake. His voice is deep and sexual, and his words are even more so.

I imagine him on the other end, playing with himself, and it sends a pulse of electricity up my spine. Sure, I plan on ruining him, but why not have some fun in the meantime? Just like he said.

“Tell me more,” I breathe again. “Will I be able to handle it?”

“Oh, we’ll make it work. One inch at a time.” I can hear his breathing intensifying.

I moan. “How many inches. I’m not very big down there.”

“I am,” he says. “But don’t worry. I’ll slide all ten of them in, nice and slow. Right up to the base.”

“Ten?” I gasp, not even by accident. If he is telling the truth, then he is well-endowed. Just the thought of that makes me wet. I can feel it.

“That’s right,” he says, and I can almost hear him smiling. “Do you like big equipment?”

“I do.”

“What do you like to do with them?” He asks.

I pause as I contemplate what I am doing and if I should continue. I’ve never had phone sex before, and I wonder if now is the time. But I am alone in my room and incredibly turned on, so I figure why not.

“I like to grip it in my hand,” I say. “I like to stroke it up and down.”

“Keep going,” he says.

“I like to put it in my mouth and swirl my tongue around it until it’s nice and wet.”

“And then?”

“And then I like to sit on it. I like to feel it slide all the way up me. Fill me.”

“Tell me more, Carrie. You have my attention,” he chuckles down the line.

I want him. I want to be wherever he is and do the things I talk about, but for real. I can’t, since we’re not together right now. So instead, I settle for phone sex. I see it as a warm up to the main course, a course I can’t wait to eat.

“And once you are inside me,” I begin, lying on my back.

My hand moves down to my thighs. It’s about to be one hell of an afternoon.