Forty-five

ANDREW

Watching her break down in front of me constricts my chest and makes it hard to breathe.

I’ve missed her more than I’ve ever missed another human being. Each day got harder instead of easier. Nothing I did could get me out of my slump. My art didn’t provide the same escape. Nor did my pursuit of women — I had no interest in even looking at one.

There’s only one woman I want on my bucket list.

I accepted my fate. My body only wants Lilah. No substitute could ever compare.

Insanity was right around the corner before I finally got in my car determined to put an end to my misery.

What started as a drive to clear my mind led me to her. As soon as I saw her walking out of the front entrance, my heart skipped a beat and I knew what my brother told me all those months ago was true.

I love her.

I just hadn’t been ready to hear it yet. Especially in the wake of our blowout.

But now I’m confident that it’s the truth. Love is the only possible explanation for my dependency on her. Something deep inside of me needs her more than I need my next breath and it’s both terrifying and exhilarating.

“I didn’t come here to make you cry,” I say in a tight voice.

“Sorry,” Lilah voices shakily.

When I reach out to wipe her tears, she starts crying harder.

My scowl is instant. I don’t do well with crying women. Especially when it’s the one I love.

“You’re killing me here, Lilah. Why are you crying?” I ask, using my thumb to brush away the moisture gathered on her smooth cheeks.

“It kills me knowing that I hurt you, Andrew. You have to believe me. I never would—”

“Shh,” I place a finger against her lips and pull her into my arms.

The moment she’s tucked against my chest, peace settles over me and I feel like I’m home.

“We don’t have to rehash the past right now,” I tell her. “I’m here because I can’t get you out of my system. Nothing feels the same when you aren’t in my bed every night. Whatever differences we need to work out, so be it. You’re worth the effort because I love you and that isn’t changing any time soon.”

Lilah gasps at my revelation, pulling away from my chest to peer up at me with those beautiful eyes.

“You love me?”

Nodding, I run my fingers through the mass of hair brushing her shoulders.

“But I lied to you and broke your trust,” she points out. “I wouldn’t love me if I were you,” Lilah concludes and I see moisture gathering in her eyes again.

I bend down and press a kiss to her forehead. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not me.”

The smile that transforms her face roots me to the spot. It’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. And maybe I am.

But she’s so damn beautiful it doesn’t make sense. Even teary-eyed and looking thin. She’s breathtaking and her presence alone has restored a part of me I never thought I would get back.

“Andrew… I love you, too.”

Stunned silent, I stare at her as if she just told me she was from a different planet.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she questions, folding her arms across her chest.

“I just didn’t expect you to say that’s all.”

Shaking her head, she sighs. “I guess that’s my fault. I never told you because I was scared of how it would end.”

It makes sense considering everything else she was harboring at the time. Now that I’ve had time to process it all, I can’t blame her for her boundless ambition. Misguided or not, she did what she had to do so that her project could flourish.

An outcome she sacrificed when she realized Edward’s true intentions. She stood up for me, asserting her loyalty and delaying her dream in the process.

What’s not to respect about that?

Dropping my forehead to hers, I whisper, “I missed you, Cupcake.”

“Did you miss me enough to give me a second chance?” she asks hopefully, her lips brushing mine as she speaks.

I want nothing more than take her lips in a possessive kiss to reclaim what’s mine. Fighting the urge, I focus on her question.

“Whatever you want. I just need you back. The last few months have been torture without you.”

Finally, I give in to my desire and lock my lips over hers in a greedy kiss. She tastes just like I remember. Sweet with a noticeable tanginess. There’s no other way to describe besides saying she tastes like Lilah.

I hug her tight to me and gaze at the remaining cars in the parking lot. It’s nearing six o’clock so it’s nearly empty.

Now that I have her back, I won’t let her escape again. We have too much time to make up for. There’s a whole other side of her I have yet to uncover and I’m looking forward to every second of it.

“Come home with me.” I speak against her hair, taking in the fruity scent that clung to my pillows long after she was gone.

Lilah peeks up at me and the hunger in her eyes catches me off guard. It’s like she transformed right before my eyes. Her desire is almost palpable and reignites something inside of me that fizzled out a long time ago.

Blood rushes to my groin.

It feels wrong to have these feelings in an elementary school parking lot and I’m more eager than ever to get her out of here and into my bed.

“Just let me cancel my plans.”

Jealousy rips through me at her words. It’s been three months. Why had I automatically assumed she hadn’t moved on?

Reading something on my face, Lilah touches my arm gently.

“Relax. My plans were with Charli. Don’t go ruining the mood with your caveman antics,” she warns playfully, putting me at ease.

After she sends the text to Charli, I grab her bags again and ask if it’s okay to leave her car here overnight. When she tells me that it’ll be fine, we get in my car and head to my house to get reacquainted.