Chapter 15

Mia

Someone once told me as dull and washed out the wedding march might seem at other people’s weddings—it’d feel different on the day it played for me.

And it did.

As I stepped out onto the whimsical aisle my mother had created with the wildflowers that grew right at the edge of our property, I knew whoever that person was—they were right.

The familiar bars echoed in my ears, and I perked up, as if I’d never heard them before. Hudson stood at the end of the aisle, next to the minister who had married my parents.

Hudson looked painfully handsome in a three-piece suit I recognized as the one he’d been wearing on the day we’d gotten “engaged.” I wondered if he’d chosen it on purpose, or if he even remembered.

His tie matched his eyes perfectly, making me feel weak at the knees. Logically, I knew it was all fake, but it felt remarkably real as I watched his features change, drinking me in as I neared him.

His usually cold eyes were as warm as I’d ever seen them. His stance was more inviting—less defensive. He seemed almost nervous. It seemed like too much to hope that he was excited.

His expression grew hungry when we got close enough he could really see me, followed closely by a flash in his eyes that made me suddenly uncomfortable. Something was wrong.

My father pulled me to a stop and lifted my veil, careful to lift it clear of my intricately knotted hair, courtesy of the very talented Tina.

Love and pride shone in his eyes as he leaned closer to whisper in my ear. “We love you so much, sweetheart. We’ll always be here for you, you hear?”

I squeezed his hand with mine as tears stung behind my eyes. “I know, Daddy. I love you, too.”

Hudson pinned me with a fierce gaze as he held his hand out, waiting for mine. For just a second, it felt like he really felt something for me. The way he looked at me felt like so much more than let’s get me a green card.

Hope bloomed in my chest as I placed my hand in his. In the space of one short week we’d been in California, I’d seen a side of Hudson I doubted he’d ever let anyone see. He was so much more than the tyrant boss who ruled his minions with an iron fist.

I’d seen a playful side, a possessive side, a supportive side, and a fierce and delicious sexual side who gave pleasure generously and without a hint of shyness or the expectation of reciprocity.

He could be gentle, listen intently, pry your deepest secrets from you without making you feel raw or shattered, and he’d opened up to me in return, revealing shocking things I never would’ve guessed about him, especially considering how well the man was put together. How sophisticated he seemed. I’d always accepted he had come from fine breeding and education, just from the way he spoke.

The man whose fingers were laced with mine, his eyes raking over me like I was precious to him, was a really good guy.

I knew that, all the way to my bones. Just like I knew something was off in the set of his jaw. Something had changed since we’d spoken the day before. I just didn’t know what it was.

I’d seen the immigration agents seated at the very edge of the gathering, as promised, but I hadn’t spared them another thought. I found it difficult to focus on anything but Hudson.

He pulled me close to his side. His arm came around my waist, and he settled a hand on my waist while the other held onto my hand, like I kept him from falling off a spinning carnival ride. His posture was stiff and his jaw tight. A vein in his temple throbbed. The color had all but drained from his face.

Shit. Whatever had happened, it had to be astronomically big for it to have that effect on him. Nothing rattled him. He hadn’t even seemed this affected on the day the immigration agents had shown up at his office.

My stomach dropped. I gave his fingers a light tug and lifted my eyes to his, tilting my head with my silent question.

“Are we ready?” Minister Grayson asked us softly, clearing his throat and leaning towards the microphone.

I nodded, but Hudson still hadn’t met my eyes. I nudged him gently with my shoulder. When he glanced down at me, it was like a haze lifted and something had come into complete focus.

“Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the—”

“Actually,” Hudson said, his voice hoarse. “I wasn’t ready. Could we have a minute?”

“Uhm,” the minister paused. “Give us a second, folks.”

“Hudson?” I whispered, leaning closer to him. My eyes wide and my heart pounding.

“I need to talk to you. Can I talk to you?” His eyes darted nervously to my family. It drew my attention to the agents sitting in the corner, one of whom had shifted forward and was watching us closely.

“Can it wait?” I forced a smile, not wanting to let on that anything was amiss. Maybe we could explain it away after the ceremony as Hudson simply wanting a moment with me before we said our “I dos.”

I didn’t know if that was a thing, but it was our wedding. I was sure the bride and groom could do whatever the hell they wanted on their big day. So, if he wanted to whisper something to me before we started, we could do it.

“No, I’m afraid it can’t wait.”

There was something in his eyes I couldn’t place, but I didn’t like it. I also had a feeling the holdup was going to be more difficult to explain as each second ticked by.

“You sure?”

I held his gaze, trying to calm whatever was going on inside of him by sheer willpower. It turned out he was the only one of the two of us capable of doing that.

“I’m sure,” he said. “Let’s walk.”

My thoughts swam as I followed him to the tree line we’d disappeared behind the day before. Heat pooled between my legs at the memory of what followed.

Geez Mia, get a hold of yourself, woman! I ordered. It wasn’t like he was pulling me away from our wedding to fuck my brains out, but a small part of me hoped achingly he was. I could hear curious murmurs rising behind us as Hudson pulled me away.

He stopped suddenly, as soon as we were gone from view, snaking an arm around my waist to steady me and pull me against his chest. Hard.

My hands reached for his biceps as if by instinct. They were steel under my palms. As much as I would have liked to, I couldn’t enjoy the feel of his body so close to mine. Not with the anxiety and restlessness that radiated from him.

I reached up and wrapped my hand around the nape of his neck, using the other to tilt his chin down towards me. “What’s going on, Hudson? What’s so urgent it couldn’t wait until the ceremony was over? We need to be getting back.”

“I can’t,” he finally confessed. His voice low. Pained. “I can’t go through with this.”

His eyes were dark, serious, desperate. But his jaw was set. His shoulders were broad, strong, and square. He’d made up his mind while mine reeled.

What the hell? What was happening?

“What do you mean you can’t go through with this? Why not?” I traced the strong set of his jaw with my fingertips, wishing it would relax under my touch. It didn’t.

“I mean I can’t allow you do this. Hell, I should’ve never even asked. This isn’t your problem, Mia. It’s mine. This is your family, though. Not mine. I should’ve respected your concerns about my coming here, about making my problem yours—theirs.” He sounded hollow, and he looked haunted.

“No, Hudson. I’m not letting you do this. They are my family, yes. It was your problem, but you were right when you said you made it mine. You did, but I accepted it. It’s our problem now. We’ll face it together. Just like we planned.”

It surprised me to hear a hint of pleading in my voice. He couldn’t walk away. I didn’t want him to. Not after how far we’d come.

His thumb traced my lower lip, while his free hand dug into my hip. I saw the resignation in his eyes. It was crushing. “You’re right, you’re not letting me do this. I’m doing it all by myself. I planned this, not you. I didn’t give you much of a choice in the matter. I’m sorry, Mia. You deserve better than this.”

“What are you talking about?” I didn’t understand the pain in his eyes. The resentment that was aimed at our entire situation. “You gave me every choice. I’m standing here now, facing this with you because I chose it, Hudson. Whatever else you’re telling yourself is a flat out lie.”

“It’s not. I’m sorry, Mia. Really.” He pressed his forehead to mine, murmuring apologies and stroking my hair. “I won’t put you through this. It shouldn’t have gotten this far.”

Then he sucked in a deep breath, flashed me a smile that had none of his usual cockiness, confidence, or heat in it, and broke away from me.

“Hudson, no. Wait!” I knew he heard me, but also that he wouldn’t wait. He wouldn’t stop. Something had changed his mind, though I didn’t know who or what.

What I did know, better than anyone, was that once he’d made up his mind to walk away from me, it was a done deal.

“Be happy, Mia,” he said, pausing for the briefest of moments just beyond the tree line. “Blame everything on me. Tell them I said I was sorry and that none of this was your fault.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched his back disappear from view. I couldn’t let him do it. I couldn’t let him walk away. Without even noticing what I was doing, I hiked up my skirt and took off after him.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist, holding me back as soon as I reached the gazebo. For one stupid second, I thought he’d changed his mind after all. Then I realized the scent of him was all wrong.

It wasn’t Hudson. It was Ryan.

“Shh, sis.” He soothed into my hair, hugging me against him as a sob broke through and wracked my body. I was close enough now to hear Hudson speaking to the immigration agents.

He had stopped right next to them, his jacket slung carelessly over his shoulder. He arched a black brow and gestured towards the exit. “Well, are you coming or what?”

Without another glance backward, he strode out. The agents scrambled to catch up to him.

My mother and father shared a shocked glance before they joined Ryan and enveloped me a group hug, mumbling words I couldn’t quite hear over the sound of my sobs.

I was devastated. Not for myself. Well, maybe a little for myself. But the despair in Hudson’s eyes when he’d said goodbye had torn me up inside. I knew what it cost for him to walk away. He’d told me less than twenty-four hours earlier what it would mean, what he was going back to.

The agents waited for Hudson to gather his things. He descended the staircase with his carry-on, and the front door slammed behind him.

My father and grandfather’s voices rang out as they rounded up the few guests present. “Nothing to see here, folks. Let’s eat.”

Ryan’s arms tightened around me, and I clung to him as if he alone were keeping me from sinking into the blackness that threatened to swallow me whole.

“What a fucking asshole,” he growled in my ear. I was too wrung out to tell him Hudson was the complete and total opposite of that for what he’d just done.