Chapter 16

Hudson

Standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows in my office, I watched the hustle and bustle of the city I’d come to call home unfold below me. It was a beautiful Portland morning, and its inhabitants seemed determined to make the best of it.

The space I’d once thought of as my own, personal ivory tower, now felt like a gilded cage.

I hadn’t slept a wink the night before. I’d given the agents a lift in the jet so they could be sure I wasn’t going to reroute to Mexico or somewhere else midair. Once we landed, I went straight to the office and started working.

Things went from bad to worse when a soft knock sounded at my door. Sighing, I turned to meet Henry’s anxious gaze.

“I thought you had this handled, Hudson,” he rasped, not bothering with small talk. I appreciated that.

“I thought I did, too.” I just wasn’t enough of an asshole to go through with it.

I dragged a hand over the five o’clock shadow that had grown on my face. I never let it grow out, but shaving was the last damn thing on my mind. I had too much to do and way too little time to do it in.

“What happened?” Henry asked, sinking into a couch in the corner of my office. His eyes didn’t leave mine when he reached over to punch a button on one of the three coffee machines in my office.

The electric working of the machine and the smell of the dark roast that it dispensed was familiar. It calmed my racing mind. “I don’t know, Henry. When push came to shove, I just couldn’t go through with it.”

“You’ve never been one to back down from either pushing or shoving.” It was a statement more than a question, but I heard what he left unsaid.

“I know. That’s why I don’t know what went wrong.” I didn’t give him any more detail than that.

“Okay.” He was smart enough to know it wasn’t the time to push me. “So where do we go from here?”

“I’ve got today to wrap up anything that needs to be wrapped up, then I’m on the first flight out in the morning.” I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t believe I was saying those words to him. Nausea bubbled in my stomach.

He paled. “Back to Santo Via Island so soon?”

“Well, they’re not sending me on a relaxing retreat to a tropical island,” I snapped, then regretted my outburst almost immediately.

Henry stayed quiet, letting me get a much-needed hold on the rage that was rising in me.

“I understand, Hudson,” he said finally. “We’ll sort something out, okay?”

A tiny glimmer of hope threatened to make an appearance. I wrestled it down violently. “No, Henry, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to sort this out.”

“I’ll get Anderson on it first thing Monday morning,” he promised. “There has to be a way.”

“If you’re waiting until Monday to get him on it, you know as well as I do it’s a long fucking shot.”

“He’s out of town for the weekend,” Henry said, his vagueness rubbing me the wrong way.

“What, he’s off fucking his mistress while we’re in crisis?”

“I have no idea where he is, but let me remind you that you assured us you had this handled, Hudson. Can’t blame the man for not being available to you when you told him you didn’t need help and then fell off the face of the earth for a week.” His tone was matter of fact. It pissed me off to no end, even if I knew he was right.

“Then what the fuck do we pay him for? If checking in with the office multiple times a day and running just about every meeting over Skype is your idea of falling off the face of the earth for a week, then this company is fucked.” My voice was a bitter snarl.

He raised his hands in surrender. “I swear to you I’ll make sure that getting you home is Anderson’s first priority.”

“Okay,” I conceded, knowing I was stuck in a corner I’d painted myself into. It killed me that there was nothing I could do about it. “In the meantime, take care of the business, Henry.”

“I will be the best guardian I can be to our baby until you return.” It still baffled me that he referred to the company as our baby, but it also reassured me.

“Thank you.” I finally calmed down enough to grab a clean mug and wait for the machine to produce fresh coffee. I breathed in the scent and enjoyed the burn on my palms as I grasped it.

I felt like I deserved the pain as punishment for what I’d done to Mia and her family. I’d already instructed my pilot to have the jet ready for her on Sunday evening and had also arranged for a driver to collect her from her parents’ house, but I doubted it would mean much after everything I’d put them through.

“That being said,” Henry’s voice drew me from my thoughts. “We need to discuss your role in BC for the immediate future.”

My shoulders sagged as reality set in. “I know. I’ve already started making notes on each of my files to ensure the handover goes as smoothly as possible. I will continue to do so for the rest of the day.”

“That’s a good start.” I could see the stress weighing on him and hated I was responsible for it. Henry had given me a way to make my dreams come true, and in return, I was crushing his dream of early and lucrative retirement, necessitated by a medical condition I didn’t care to think about.

“I will do as much as I can, Henry. I promise you that. I’ll be available around the clock and have a home office set up as soon as I can.” I didn’t tell him I’d have to set up a home first.

“That’s a great thought, Hudson, but I’m going to have to take you off the job while you’re gone. I’m sure you understand.” I did, but it didn’t keep my heart from tearing itself to shreds in my chest.

“I do. I will make sure the notes I leave are as detailed as I can make them in the short time I have before I leave, and I’ll be available for any questions on my cell anyway.” I’d have to get a new cell, and I didn’t mention that, either. He had enough to worry about.

“What are we going to do about Maxwell’s position, now that you’re leaving?” He deftly maneuvered around the fact that I was being deported, not going on holiday.

“Mia Doyle. Appoint her to it. She’s perfect for it, and I think she’ll take a lot of weight off of your shoulders.”

It was true. I would’ve recommended her for it, even if that hadn’t been part of the deal. But if anyone was going to do the job that wasn’t me, it had to be Mia.

Thankfully, Henry agreed without any objections. “I completely agree. I already had her earmarked for the position before you insisted on taking it over yourself. It’s a relief to know you feel the same way.”

“You did?” I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Henry had always been an excellent judge of character. I kept from smirking as I thought of myself as ‘exhibit A’.

The reminder was a welcomed one after Henry left, leaving me to turn the life I’d built into a series of notes for others to take the reins with. This wasn’t going to be easy, but I had to do it.

***

Leaving the building the next morning was almost physically painful. I’d crashed for a few hours on the couch in my office before waking to finish compiling a list of the most important things both Mia and Henry had to take care of in the coming week.

The sidewalk outside the building was abandoned in the pre-dawn hours. I took a few minutes to appreciate my surroundings and to take mental pictures of the lights flickering on the water and the towering building I’d built my life in, against all odds.

I felt drained by the time I reached my house. I admired the clean lines and modern finishes I hadn’t even spared a second thought for, since shortly after I’d moved in.

The starkness of the place struck me after having spent so much time in Mia’s family home. My house had none of the comforts of a home that had seen a family grow up in it, yet it was the first place that was completely mine.

I walked sluggishly to my bedroom, through the hallway that displayed expensive works of art instead of framed pictures of children or family.

I remembered choosing each of the paintings with excruciating care when the money started rolling in. It never occurred to me the walls might one day be covered in pictures of a family I never knew I wanted, but I was suddenly depressed that it never would. Not for me anyway.

Eventually, the house would be sold, I was sure. It gave me comfort to think perhaps its next owners would be able to hang pictures of their family on its newly bare walls. Movers would be arriving in the morning to box up all of my stuff and take it storage.

I barely had time to pack a few essential things into my bags and grab a shower before my ride to the airport arrived. Having packed my toiletries, the en suite bathroom was almost as empty as the day I’d moved in, except for the slate gray towels that hung neatly on the towel racks.

The same could be said for my bedroom. I hadn’t even chosen the furniture or the crisp green sheets that covered the bed. I’d paid a decorator to do it and holed up in my office until she let me know the house was ready for me to move into.

I’d approved the contemporary furnishings and marveled at the massive flat screens she’d installed in my entertainment area, lounge, and bedroom. Then I paid her bill. It was depressing how little time I’d taken to appreciate it all.

I folded myself into the backseat of the town car and waited for it to take me to the airport. During the ride, I drank in every last thing happening on the sidewalks as my city came to life for the week ahead.

We drove past the BC Records building at my request, and I longed to ask the driver to stop. I kept waiting for someone to let me know it was all a horrible practical joke. No one did. And it wasn’t.

As we approached the airport, my heart sank. I was unable to come to terms with the fact that I was leaving the city that had made all of my dreams come true, and I may never see it again.

I wished I’d handled the immigration agents differently, that I’d had Anderson sit in on the meeting. I also wished I was going to the airport to welcome yet another client—not going back to Santo Via Island.

Above all else, I wished Mia was with me. I really wished things had been different between us.