Annabelle
Phoenix arrived at the clubhouse around lunchtime the next day. He looked like he hardly slept. I probably looked very much the same. I don’t think I slept more than two hours. I couldn’t stop thinking about Phoenix and all the things I needed to tell him, and wondering what things he had to tell me.
We made small talk with Wave and Token before heading out for lunch. Nathan had already left to meet with his new team at the gym and would be gone all day. I didn’t usually work on the weekends, so I had the entire day free to spend with Phoenix.
We stopped for lunch at a little cafe along the Pacific Coast Highway. After we placed our order, I asked a question I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to. “How did you become the president of your great-uncle’s club?”
“When Uncle Talon died of a heart attack in 2002, his son, Hawk, became the president. A few years later, Hawk and his wife, Goldie, were hit when they were out for a ride. Both were killed on impact. Copper and Bronze were too young to take over the role as president, so it was offered to me. I was already a patched member, but I wasn’t around much because I was still on active duty. It just so happened that their deaths occurred around the time I was up for reenlistment. Instead of reenlisting like I had originally planned, I chose to accept the offer and became the president of Blackwings.”
“So, do you live in Devil Springs or Croftridge?” I asked, completely confused.
He chuckled. “I lived in Devil Springs when I first took over the club. I was president for less than a year when Gram and Pop told me they were moving to Florida and turning over the house and property to me. After discussing it with Pop and then the club, I made the decision to move the club to Croftridge, which is where I live now.”
I was afraid to ask after learning so many of his family members had died over the years, but I had to know. “Your grandparents? Are they—”
He cut me off and I was thankful for the interruption. “They are alive and well, enjoying their retirement on the Floridian coast.”
I exhaled in relief. Phoenix’s grandparents had a very special place in my heart and it would have pained me greatly to know they were no longer a part of this world.
“What about Copper and Bronze? Are they members of the club?”
“Yes, they are. They recently started their own chapter of Blackwings in Devil Springs. Copper is the president and Bronze is the VP. Their chapter is still new, but they’re strong. Copper has proven himself to be an invaluable asset to the club over the last year and a half, but those are stories for a different time.”
After lunch, we rode to a somewhat secluded beach. It was a little difficult to reach, but it was well worth the trek once you got there. When we reached the sand, we both kicked off our shoes. Phoenix silently took my hand and started walking along the shore. We walked a good half mile before either one of us said a word.
“As much as I’m enjoying just being with you, we do have some important things to talk about,” Phoenix said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
“You’re right, we do,” I agreed. I brought my hand to my mouth and started nibbling at my fingernail. It was a disgusting habit, but I was nervous as hell, so there was no point in trying to stop myself.
I had something huge to tell Phoenix and I didn’t know how he was going to take it. It was the main thing that kept me awake the night before. My news would be extremely painful for him to hear and for me to tell.
“This is hard for me to say,” I said at the same time he asked, “Do you want to sit for this?”
I shook my head. “No, I need to keep walking to share this with you.”
“Okay, let’s keep going,” he said, tightening his grip on my hand.
“I’m guessing you know how I ended up at the farm,” I surmised.
He nodded. “Your parents.”
“Right.” My parents were useless beings who did nothing but destroy my life because of their own selfish needs. “Octavius had been loaning money to my parents for months, all of which they gambled away or spent on alcohol and cigarettes. A few weeks after you left for the Marines, Octavius came to collect his money. Since they couldn’t pay, he took them to the farm to start working off their debt, and I had to go with them.”
“At first, it wasn’t so bad. I was separated from my parents and placed in a room much nicer than anything I ever had growing up. Then, Octavius started coming around more, asking me to go on a date with him. I repeatedly told him no, but he kept asking. He started bringing gifts with him when he came to see me, nice gifts, but I refused to accept any of them. Finally, he gave up on asking and started trying to use my parents as bargaining chips, saying he would reduce the amount they owed him if I would date him.” I scoffed. “He had no idea how much I loathed my parents. I finally told him I was in love with you and there was nothing he could do to change that.”
I stayed silent for a few minutes, gathering my strength for the next part of the conversation. I gradually stopped walking and turned to face the water while I spoke. “By this time, several weeks had gone by since you left. Even after I told Octavius I was in love with you and waiting for you to come back, he still kept pressuring me to give him a chance. He finally stopped asking me when I told him I was pregnant with your baby.”
The tears had already started. Phoenix stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders as we both stared into the deep blue sea. I expected an outburst from Phoenix, but he remained silent behind me, so I continued. “He told me he would let me keep the baby and even provide me with prenatal care if I agreed to marry him and bear him a son. He said I could leave after I gave him a son, but I had to leave the boy with him. I refused, Phoenix. I didn’t want to have his child, but he said he would have our baby aborted. I couldn’t let that happen. I thought if I could get through having a son for him, I could leave with our child and go straight to the police. They would arrest Octavius and I would have both of my children, but that’s not at all what happened.”
My breath hitched with a sob and I had to take a moment to compose myself. Phoenix gently turned me by my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. He held me tightly to him, one arm around my waist and the other cupping the back of my head. “She died, Phoenix!” I screamed as I beat my fist on his chest. “Our baby girl died! I did everything I could to make sure she was healthy and get us out of there and she died!”
Phoenix took us to the ground, rocking me back and forth while I cried my pain into his chest. “I didn’t even get to see her or hold her before they took her away. One picture of her, that’s all I’ve ever had of my baby girl. I’m so sorry, Phoenix! I’m sorry I lost her!”
Phoenix stopped rocking me and tightened his arms around me. He spoke softly, his mouth right beside my ear, “There’s nothing to be sorry for, doll face. Nothing at all.” I cried even harder, clutching his shirt and praying he never let me go.
“I wanted her,” I bawled. “I wanted her and I wanted you. It wasn’t fair!”