Phoenix
I held Annabelle in my arms while she cried, my heart breaking as the pain she had carried for years poured from her soul. “Let it out, baby. I’ve got you,” I promised.
How was I going to tell her that Ember was alive and well? And Coal? She hadn’t mentioned a thing about Coal. Surely she knew about him.
When she started to calm, I eased her face away from my chest so I could wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her blue eyes held so many emotions—pain, anger, fear. “Tell me what happened,” I said softly.
“I-I don’t really know. I went into labor one morning. I told Octavius my water broke and he took me to see the doctor at the infirmary on the farm. He confirmed the labor and took me to one of the rooms at the very back of the clinic. He said I needed to have a C-section. He put some medicine in an IV and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a lot of pain and being told that my baby girl was stillborn.”
She looked down at her hands. “They wouldn’t let me see her. I begged and begged, but Octavius said they had already taken her away. I was furious with him and he knew it, too. I demanded that he let me name her.” Her breath hitched again, “I named her Ember Rose Blackburn. I wanted her to have a piece of me and a piece of you in her name.”
I kissed her cheek and pulled her closer. “It’s beautiful.”
I was gearing up to tell her that Ember was still alive, happy and healthy in Croftridge when she continued, “I was a mess after that, for a long time. I fell into a depression so deep I didn’t think I would ever find my way back. Through my entire pregnancy with Nathan and especially after his birth, I was in a very dark place. I did what I needed to do for him, but I built a wall around my heart and nothing was breaking it down. I’m ashamed to say that even my newborn son couldn’t make my heart feel anything. For a long time, I resented Nathan. I didn’t understand why the baby I wanted didn’t live, but the baby I didn’t want was born healthy. I hate myself for that now.”
“You obviously love Nathan very much and I’m sure you did then, too, it was just masked by the pain of losing your firstborn. When did you finally pull through the depression?” I asked.
“It was when Nathan was around two years old. Octavius was fed up with me. He said if other people were going to take care of my child, I was going to take care of other people’s children. There was a daycare on the property for the children of the workers. He sent me to work there.”
“And that helped you?” I asked softly.
She gave me a small smile. “Yes, it did.” She turned her face to the side, staring off into the distance, obviously remembering something from that time. “There was a little girl at the daycare. She was around the same age our daughter would have been. She was like a little angel. The first day I was there, she ran up to me and begged me to hold her. When I picked her up, she wrapped her little arms around my neck and hugged me with every ounce of her strength. Something inside me was healed by that one hug from her. I’ve thought about her often over the years and I always wondered what became of her.”
I was pretty sure I knew who this little girl was, but I asked anyway, “What was her name?”
She turned her eyes back to me. “Her name was Amber, Amber Smith.”
“Annabelle,” I blew out a long breath, “there’s something you need to know.” I wasn’t sure if I should hold her close when I delivered the news or give her some space. I opted for something in between and placed her on the sand beside me. Intertwining my fingers with hers, I brought her hand to my lips for a soft kiss.
Holding her hand against my chest, I began, “What I’m about to tell you is going to be hard to hear and you’re not going to believe it, but I promise, it is the truth and I can prove it.”
“Please, just tell me whatever it is,” she begged.
“That little girl’s name wasn’t Amber. It was Ember. Our daughter is alive and living in Croftridge,” I said, trying to keep my voice as even as possible. Of all the reactions I expected, I did not anticipate Annabelle jerking her hand from mine and slapping me across the face.
“You fucking bastard!” she screamed, getting to her feet. “Why would you say that? Why, Phoenix? WHY?”
I remained seated on the sand, letting her have her moment. I calmly reached into my cut and pulled out the paternity test results. “I said it because it is the truth. Here,” I said, holding the papers out for her to take.
She hesitantly took them from my hand. “What is this?”
“Those are the results of the paternity test we had done to confirm that she is my biological child,” I explained.
She was already shaking her head. “That doesn’t mean she is my child! My child died!”
“No, Annabelle, she didn’t. Octavius took her from you. He wouldn’t let you see her after she was born because she was alive. I’m guessing that’s also why they put you to sleep for the C-section, so you wouldn’t know she was alive when she was born.”
The horror on her face was something I would never be able to erase from my mind. She was backing away from me, shaking her head, muttering, “No, no, no.”
“Was Ember born on June 5, 1999, at 11:26 am?” I asked.
She dropped to her knees. “Yes!” Annabelle then folded in on herself and let out a sound of pain that chilled me to my core. She raised herself up a moment later. “Where is she? I want to see her.”
I stayed put and spoke evenly, “She lives in Croftridge and you can definitely see her. She wants to see you. She has been helping me look for you this last year, but before we get to that, there’s more.”
“I can’t take any more, Phoenix. I just can’t,” she whispered between hiccupping sobs.
“I know it’s hard, doll face. It was for me, too, but you need to know.”
“Fine. Spit it out,” she spat. Good, a little anger would help her handle the next bombshell.
“When you delivered Ember, you also delivered a healthy baby boy. Octavius didn’t tell you and had him raised right under your nose, just like he did with Ember,” I said and handed her the next set of papers.
She snatched them from my hand, glanced over them, and screamed her fury to the sky. She whirled around, clutching those papers in her hand. “Coal Martin is my son? Did Kathleen know about this?”
“No, she didn’t know he was your son. She does now, but she had no idea then. She didn’t know about Ember either.”
“How did you find out about all of this?” she asked.
I sighed. “It’s a complicated story, that I will gladly share with you sometime, but I don’t think now is the time for it.”
“Why not? You’ve already sliced me open. Why not keep going?” she snarled.
“Annabelle, I didn’t tell you about the twins to hurt you. You had a right to know. Would you have rather not known about them?” I asked.
She heaved in breath after breath. “No. Yes. I mean, they’re my children, of course I want to know about them. I want to see them. It’s just a lot to process and you’re telling me there’s more. I can’t go through this again. I would rather hear whatever it is now.”
I got to my feet and approached her. I bent down and pulled her into my arms. “That was the worst of it, doll face. Everything else is just details.”
We stayed on the beach a little while longer, just holding each other. I hated what she was going through. I remembered it all too well when I found out about Ember and, not that long ago, Coal. She quietly cried off and on, lost in her own thoughts. Eventually, she asked me to take her home and, reluctantly, I did.