Annabelle
Phoenix held my hand with a firm grip as we approached the gates to the farm. He was right, the place did look different, but that didn’t stop my mind from telling me to run as far and as fast as I could from the Gates of Hell.
“What’s with the guards at the gate?” I asked.
He grimaced and shifted in his seat. “We had a situation a month or so ago and the club decided having men on the gate was the best way to secure the property.”
I stiffened. “What kind of situation?”
He sighed, clearly not wanting to tell me. “My club brother’s kid was kidnapped by his estranged wife’s sister. Kathleen was watching him when he was taken. We never figured out how she got onto the property, so I put measures in place to make sure no one else unwanted could get in here.”
We drove past the place where Octavius’s house used to be, the place I used to live, and I was shocked to see nothing but grass. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Where’s the house?”
Phoenix laughed, but it was a laugh filled with hate. “Blew that fucker up the first chance I got.”
I smiled. “Good.” Learning that the house I was forced to live in with Octavius was gone relieved some of my fear about returning to the farm.
We pulled up to a house on the property that had not been there during the years I spent on the farm. “This is where Ember and Dash live. You go on up and I’ll go busy myself in my office. If you need me, just call my cell or Ember can show you where the office is. See you this evening, doll face.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and strolled away while I fought the urge to wrap my limbs around his leg like a child and beg him to stay with me.
It took me several minutes to get myself together enough to get out of the truck. I warily approached the house, waiting for some unforeseen boogie man to jump out and grab me. Raising my shaking hand, I lightly knocked on the door.
I was in the middle of arguing with myself about staying versus running back to the car and high-tailing it out of there when the door opened. A very handsome young man smiled at me and opened the door wider. “You must be Annabelle. I’m Ember’s fiancé, Dash. Please come in. Ember is finishing up in the kitchen. She’ll be right out.”
I followed the young man into their living room and glanced around. They had a beautiful home. I couldn’t help but notice that the decor was eerily similar to my house in California. Like mother, like daughter, I thought.
Ember came through a door on the other side of the room, wiping her hands on a frilly and flirty apron. Before I could comment on it, she smiled and said, “Morning, Mom. Would you like some breakfast?”
My heart fluttered. She called me Mom. She did it the day before, but this time seemed different somehow. I cleared the emotion from my throat and answered, “Yes, breakfast would be lovely.”
Dash joined us for breakfast, but left soon after. I was prepared for a morning filled with tension and awkward silences; however, there was none of that. Ember gave me a tour of her horse farm and then her organic plants project. It was truly impressive what she had done with a space that was once used for nothing but creating misery.
After we circled the rear portion of the property and were back at her house, she said, “I know Dad already told you how we found each other and everything that happened afterward, but what happened to you? I remember you from when I was little. You were there one morning and gone that afternoon. I tried to ask about you, but I was told to never say your name.”
Her words brought tears to my eyes. She remembered me and she asked about me. That meant she missed me. I inhaled deeply before I answered. “The day I disappeared was the day I finally escaped from Octavius. If I had known you were mine, I would have taken you with me, but at the time, I believed you were at the daycare while your parents worked on the farm. They even told me your name was Amber, not Ember.”
“I know you didn’t intentionally leave me behind. Please believe me when I tell you that I do not harbor one negative thought or feeling about you. None of this was anyone’s fault except Octavius’s. He destroyed our family; no one else is to blame,” she said vehemently.
But she didn’t know that I did take one of my kids with me. I needed to tell her and get it over with. The longer I kept it from her, the harder it would be for her to accept it. “I have to tell you something.”
“Nivan’s my brother, isn’t he?” she asked.
My eyes widened in shock. How did she know about him? What did she know about him? “Yes, he is. He goes by Nathan now, though.”
“What?” she shrieked. “He’s alive?”
I was taken aback by her reaction. “Yes, he’s alive. He’s been with me in California the whole time. Phoenix didn’t tell you about him?”
She slowly shook her head. “No, but I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him since he got back. The last I heard was what Octavius’s right-hand man, Hector, told us. Octavius did a very good job of hiding the truth about Nivan. I thought that he was alive and living on the farm, but then Hector said that Nivan died when he was five years old and there was documentation to prove it, though, to my knowledge, it was never found. No one ever said different, so I assumed he really was dead.”
“I see. Well, when I disappeared years ago, I took Nathan with me. A friend helped me fake an accident and then some people at the hospital helped us get away. He had just turned five years old at the time.”
Suddenly, I felt compelled to defend Nathan. “He’s nothing like Octavius. He doesn’t even know about him. He thinks his father was a Marine who died while deployed. He’s a good person. He’s the only reason I didn’t give up years ago.”
She smiled. “I would like to meet him.”
“I would like that, too, but I need to tell him about you first. Actually, I need to tell him everything. He doesn’t even know I’m here in Croftridge,” I explained.
“I understand. I have no intention of disrupting his life or anything like that. I just wanted you to know I want to meet him, whenever you think the time is right.”
We spent the rest of the morning talking and getting to know one another. The time went by faster than I expected. I honestly didn’t want to leave, but I also wanted to spend a similar afternoon with my son.
“How long are you going to be in Croftridge?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. My boss said I could take as much time as I needed off work, but I don’t want to abuse that offer. Nathan will be home from his training camp in a few weeks, so I will definitely have to be home by then,” I answered. Since I wasn’t sure how things would play out, I hadn’t given much thought to how long I would stay.
Her face fell. “Will you come back here?”
“To visit or to live?”
“Either.”
“I will definitely come back to visit, as often as I can. As far as living here...I’ve built a life for myself in California. I can’t just up and leave. But, you’re welcome to come visit me whenever you want and stay as long as you like,” I said, trying to lift her spirits.
She spoke quietly when she said, “Dash and I have been waiting for Dad to find you or find out what happened to you to get married because I wanted you to be there if you were alive. Do you think you can be here for the wedding?”
“There’s no way I would miss it. When do you think it will be?” I asked.
“We would like for it to be sooner rather than later. I think I can pull everything together in two or three weeks. Could you stay in Croftridge that long?” she asked.
“Let me check with my boss and see if I can take that much time off. If he doesn’t have a problem with it, then I’ll stay until the wedding.”
She embraced me with a tight hug. “Thank you! I can’t wait to tell Dash!”
Ding-dong.
“Oh, that must be Coal. I’ll be right back.”
She returned with her twin. “Since Coal either stays at the Martins’ house or the clubhouse, I thought it would be easier for you two to talk and get to know one another without an audience so I offered the use of my house. Dash will be gone for the rest of the day and I have to get to the barn to finish ordering supplies and making out next week’s schedule.”
With that, she skipped out the door leaving me and Coal alone. He took a seat in the chair but remained silent.
After several moments of uncomfortable silence, I asked, “Do you, um, do you remember me?”
“Yeah,” he answered.
“I didn’t know about you,” I blurted. “I know that sounds crazy, but I was never allowed to see my ultrasounds and the doctor never talked to me about my pregnancy. It never even occurred to me that I might be pregnant with twins.”
He nodded. “I know that.”
I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. The ease I had with Ember seemed to have walked out the door with her. “We don’t have to do this today. You don’t seem very interested in being here.” He was not the compassionate and understanding young man from the day before.
He blinked and sat up straighter. “I’m sorry. My wounds are bothering me and I’m waiting on the medicine to kick in. I guess I overdid it yesterday. It helps to be still and not talk until the pain eases off.”
“Oh! You shouldn’t have come if you’re in pain. We could have done this another day or even later today. What can I do to help you?” I asked. I had unknowingly left my seat and was hovering beside him, well, like a mom.
He grimaced. “Will you hand me one of those pillows?”
I quickly grabbed a throw pillow and handed it to him. He braced it across his abdomen and said, “Let’s watch something on television for a bit. I should be fine in about 30 minutes.”
We watched some show about cars for the next hour. When it ended, he turned the television off with the remote and said, “Sorry about that. I’m feeling much better now. What would you like to do for the rest of the afternoon?”
I had no idea what my options were. I just wanted to spend time with him, but I didn’t want him doing anything that would cause him pain, so I told him just that. We opted to stay at Ember’s house and talk, which allowed me the opportunity to fuss over him and take care of him.
We spent the afternoon talking, much like Ember and I had. I told him about escaping from Octavius and then I told him about Nathan. He was also interested in meeting his half-brother, particularly once I told him about Nathan’s budding MMA career.
He told me about his life growing up on the farm with Kathleen and Jeff. Kathleen was a kind and genuine woman. If I had to choose someone other than myself or Phoenix to raise our children, it would be her. If only Ember could have been adopted by them, too.
Coal told me the story of the shooting from his point of view and his version was much more harrowing than the version Phoenix told me. I cried all over his shoulder while he hugged me and repeatedly assured me he was okay.
Then, he said something that had been flitting around in the back of my mind since Phoenix showed up in California. “Mom, I believe everything happens for a reason. I mean, getting shot sucked, but if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t know about my biological family, at least not at this point anyway. Ember and I have talked about this a lot over the last few weeks and she feels the same way about the events of her life.”
“Yeah, I feel the same way about certain aspects of my life as well,” I said, unwilling to specifically reference Nathan.
Coal nodded as if he understood what I wasn’t saying and blessedly changed the subject.
Before I knew it, Ember had returned to the house with Dash and Phoenix. Apparently, it was well after dinner time and they refused to stay away any longer. Ember invited Phoenix and me to stay for dinner, but Phoenix politely declined for the both of us. And I was glad he did. The day had gone much better than expected and I didn’t want to push my luck. Phoenix offered to drive Coal back to the clubhouse, but he opted to stay for dinner. We hugged and kissed our kids goodbye and walked to the truck.
Phoenix opened my door for me, but I didn’t get in. Instead, I turned into him and placed my hands on his chest. “Earlier, when you said you blew up Octavius’s house, it made me wonder about another building...the one where Ember and Coal were born, and Nathan, too. Uh, could we go see if it’s still there?”
Phoenix cleared his throat and nodded. “Sure. Do you remember where it was?”
Oh, I would never forget where that damn building was. “Yes, I do,” I answered, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice and gave him the directions.
He pulled up in front of the building that held so many bad memories for me. He sat silently beside me, holding my hand, while memories I did not cherish flooded my mind. “Is it being used for anything now?” I asked shakily.
“No, doll face, it’s empty.”
“I swore if I ever had the chance, I would burn this damn building to the ground,” I confessed.
“If you want to torch it, baby, I’ll gladly hand you a can of gas and some matches,” Phoenix said, pulling me into his arms.
“I know it won’t change anything, but I really want to do it. I think I need to.”
“Okay, let’s do it,” he said, reaching for his phone.
Minutes later, Dash arrived with a red jug full of gasoline and a box of long-reach matches. He wordlessly handed the items to Phoenix, nodded, and drove away in his truck.
“Before you get upset, I want you to know I called Dash because he truly understands how much Octavius took from our family. He is in love with our daughter and has felt every ounce of her pain. He was the one who ultimately captured Octavius and brought him back to the clubhouse. Then, he turned right around and saved my life. If anyone outside of our family gets it, it’s him,” Phoenix explained.
“No, he’s probably wondering if he should marry a girl whose parents like to blow up and burn down buildings,” I teased, trying to lighten the moment.
Phoenix chuckled. “Oh, he knew what he was getting himself into when Ember laid his ass out in the forecourt the day she showed up at the clubhouse.”
“She did what?” I gasped.
“I’ll tell you the whole story later. This building ain’t going to burn itself.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Phoenix.”
“Just pour the gas around the edges of the building. You can pour some inside if you want to. It’s an old building, so when you’re ready to light it, it should go up pretty quick.”
I followed his instructions and dumped gas all around the outside of the building, but I had no interest in going inside. When the can was empty, Phoenix handed me the matches. “Strike it, drop it, and get back. Okay, baby?”
“Got it.” It took me a minute to get the match lit with the way my hand was shaking, but I finally did it. I tossed the lit match at the base of the structure and quickly stepped back. When the flame made contact with the gas, the fire blazed to life with a loud whoosh.
Phoenix’s arms circled my waist and he pulled me back against his chest. We watched in silence as the place that held so many heart-wrenching memories for me burned to the ground.
I didn’t even realize I was crying until Phoenix turned me by my shoulders and gently wiped the tears from my face. “Come on, doll face. Let’s go home.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Baby, if burning a building down makes you happy, I’ll set the world on fire for you.”