Phoenix
When I stepped onto the front porch, I wasn’t sure if I should knock or not. It was technically still my home, but it felt strange to walk right in since I hadn’t lived there in almost a year. Plus, Gram and Pop weren’t expecting me. Had they known I was back from deployment and coming home for a few weeks, they would have met me at the airport.
I knocked on the door as I pushed it open. “Anybody home?” I called out.
“Phoenix!!” Gram shrieked and came at me full speed ahead. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming home?” she asked as she cried against my shoulder. “Let me get a look at you. You’re not hurt, are you?”
“No, Gram. I’m just fine. I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise. I have a few weeks of leave before I have to be back at the base.”
“Come on in the kitchen and let me make you something to eat. Oh, I need to call Pop and tell him your home,” she rambled as she made her way to the kitchen. “He had to run some papers into town, but he should be on his way back by now.”
When she finally took a breath, I asked, “Gram, where’s Annabelle?” I hadn’t been able to talk to her since the day I left and I was anxious to see her or at least hear her voice. When I left, she didn’t have a phone and refused to let me buy her one. Instead, we’d planned on me calling the store to chat with her and Gram when they were both working. However, every time I called, Annabelle was either not working or had just stepped out.
Gram turned around to face me and the look on her face had my blood turning to ice. She slowly approached the table and sat down beside me, grabbing my hand with hers. “Sweetheart,” she said and her voice cracked. “We don’t know where she is. We tried to—”
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know where she is?” I roared, jumping to my feet and knocking the kitchen chair over.
Gram’s sniffles turned into sobs. The front door flew open and there was Pop. “Phoenix Alexander Black, sit your ass down and apologize to your Gram. You know better than to take that tone with her!”
“Gram, I-I’m sorry. I just...I don’t understand. Where is she?” I asked, desperate for any morsel of information.
“Phoenix,” Pop said, taking a seat beside Gram. “We don’t know where she is. After you left, everything was fine for a few weeks. Then, one day she didn’t show up for work at the shop. We knew she didn’t have a phone, so I rode out to her house to check on her. No one came to the door and it looked like no one was home. Macy showed up at the shop that afternoon to take Annabelle home from work and was equally concerned when we told her what was going on. She promised to call if she heard from Annabelle and we promised to do the same. I went back to the house for the next two days with no luck. I did get the guys at the police station to let me file a missing person's report, though there wasn’t much they could do other than monitor the property for activity. Since her parents were gone, too, it appeared like the family moved. I even checked with the post office to see if they left a forwarding address. I wanted answers and I knew you would, too, so, after I left the police station, I called a friend of mine who’s a private investigator and he’s been looking for her and her family ever since.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, barely managing to contain my anger. It wasn’t Pop’s fault, or Gram’s, but I was furious and I was close to taking it out on them.
“Because we love you. Think about it, Phoenix. If we told you Annabelle had disappeared while you were overseas, it would have been hell on you to know you were stuck over there and couldn’t do a thing about it. You would have likely gotten yourself killed or court-martialed. I made the decision to keep it from you for your own good and I’m not sorry for it.” He paused for a moment and softened his tone, “And a part of me thought we would find her and have her here with us by the time you got back. I’m so sorry, my boy.”
I nodded in acknowledgment, keeping my eyes on my clasped hands in my lap. Slowly taking in a deep breath, I rose to my feet. “I’m going to head out for a bit. I need some time to myself.”
I moved next to Gram. “I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. I’ll be back a little later.” With that, I kissed her cheek and headed for my bike.
Pop and Uncle Talon helped me get a motorcycle for my 18th birthday, despite Gram’s valiant protests. From the moment I got it, Annabelle and I were on my bike every chance we got. As I rode to Annabelle’s house, I could almost feel her arms around me, could almost hear her laughter being carried away by the wind. I refused to believe the last time she was on the back of my bike was the last time.
I parked my bike in her driveway and walked right up to the front door and started banging on it. After several rounds of knocking and waiting, I walked to each window and peered inside. Months had passed since I left, yet it appeared no one was, or had been, living there.
When I came to the flimsy back door, I eyed it for a few brief moments before deciding I didn’t give a shit and kicked the fucker open with my booted foot. I stepped into the house I had only been in a few times before and surveyed the area. What little had once been in the house was completely gone. Still, I refused to believe what I was seeing.
Upon entering Annabelle’s room, the truth finally hit me like a battering ram. She was gone. She’d been gone for months, just like Pop said, judging by the layer of dust on the window sill. Her room was completely bare, not a single piece of evidence to prove she ever lived in this space.
I lost it. I threw punch after punch and kick after kick into the walls until I couldn’t feel my hands or feet anymore. Stumbling back into the wall, I clutched my chest and tried desperately to breathe. I slid down the wall until my ass hit the floor. Sucking in a large breath, I screamed my pain into the stale air while rivers of tears streamed down my face.
She was gone.
My Annabelle was gone.
Hours passed.
The tears finally ran dry.
I remained on the floor.
I couldn’t bring myself to leave the last place where I had any hope of finding her. In my mind, if I left, it would all be real. As long as I was there waiting for her, she would come back. She would know I was there and come back.
Pop found me on the floor of her bedroom well after the sun had gone down. He silently sat down beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders. He never once asked me if I was okay or told me I needed to leave. He just waited with me until I was able to walk out of that house by my own choice, which ended up being around 7am the next morning.
Gram was waiting for us on the front porch, nervously pacing back and forth. When I was within arm’s reach, she hugged me tightly and tried to ease the pain of my broken heart. Nothing short of finding Annabelle would take away any of the pain.
“Phoenix, honey, your hands,” Gram gasped. “I think we need to go to the hospital.”
“Let him be, love. The only thing hurting him right now is his heart and there’s nothing the hospital can do for that,” Pop said.
I left them on the porch and stumbled to my room in a daze. I managed to get a few hours of sleep before I set out and scoured the town. I asked anyone and everyone I could find about Annabelle and her parents. No one had any answers. I tried to track down Macy, but Pop told me she moved away after she and Aaron broke up and Annabelle disappeared. Pop said he still talked to her every now and then, but he waited for her to call him because it was hard for her to talk about Annabelle.
I spent the entire two weeks of my leave relentlessly searching for any clues as to what happened to my girl. I was devastated when my time was up and I had to return to base. I needed more time to search. I considered taking my chances and not returning, but Pop convinced me otherwise by promising to continue searching for her in my absence.
So, with a tearful goodbye, I left my grandparents’ house and returned to base not knowing what happened to the love of my life.