Annabelle
My nerves were frazzled. The closer we got to Croftridge, the faster my heart beat. I could feel cold beads of sweat forming on my forehead and down my spine. By the time we rolled into Croftridge, I was a sweaty, hyperventilating mess a few heartbeats short of a full-blown panic attack.
“Calm down, Annabelle. Everything’s going to be just fine, I promise,” Phoenix said, startling me and causing me to jump about six inches off my seat.
Easy for him to say. He’d already done the meet and greet with our long lost children and he got to do it without a week’s worth of anticipation. Chewing off the last sliver of the only fingernail I had left, I asked, “Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you to my house first. It’s Pop’s and Gram’s house. I thought you might want to freshen up and then we’ll figure things out from there. I can have the kids come over to my house, we can go to Ember’s house, or we can all meet up at the clubhouse, whichever you prefer.”
I didn’t want to meet them at the clubhouse because I knew we would have a large audience there and I most certainly did not want that. I thought I recalled Phoenix saying Ember lived on the farm property and I had no interest in going back to that hellhole, not yet anyway. That only left us with one option. “I guess it would be best if they came to your house.”
He reached over and gave my leg a gentle squeeze. “Okay, doll face, if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
He pulled into the driveway of the old plantation style home I remembered so well. It looked just the same as it did the last time I saw it. The house was huge and screamed of money, but it was also warm and inviting.
Phoenix came around and opened my door for me, extending his hand to help me climb out of the truck. He cupped my cheeks and kissed the tip of my nose, then held my hand as he led me to the front door.
Before he turned the knob, the front door flew open and there stood two people with faces I hadn’t seen in 13 years but instantly recognized, Ember and Coal. No one moved. No one said a word, for a very long time. We all just stared at one another.
Finally, Phoenix broke the silence. He cleared his throat and said, “Ember, Coal, this is your mother, Annabelle.”
My eyes flicked from Phoenix to my grown children. I didn’t have time to process anything else before both of them slammed into my body, wrapping their arms around my shoulders and my waist. “Mom,” they both cried at the same time.
That was when the dam burst. I sunk to the floor with both of them, sobbing and gasping for air. “I’m so sorry,” I said between my broken cries. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know. I never would have—”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Ember said.
Coal nodded. “We know what happened. It’s not anyone’s fault but Octavius’s.”
I searched both of their faces. “You really believe that?”
“Yes,” and “Of course we do,” they replied at the same time.
“How about we go inside, yeah?” Phoenix suggested.
The kids got to their feet and Phoenix helped me to mine. We all moved into the house to continue our reunion. I took a seat on the couch, Phoenix settling down right beside me. He put his arm around my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “So, kids, want to tell me why you were in my house when I got back?”
Coal and Ember both laughed, but it was Ember that answered, “Because we’re not stupid, Dad. I haven’t been around all that long, but in the time I have been around the club, no one has ever gone on a solo run, especially for the length of time you said you would be gone. Plus, your son is a part of the club, and those bikers gossip worse than most women.”
“I see. Does Dash know you’re here?”
“Nope,” she said, popping the p, “but I’ll text him now and let him know where I am.”
I sat there quietly observing their interactions. The three of them seemed very comfortable with one another, which should have comforted me, but it had the opposite effect. I felt like an outsider, a stranger. Suddenly, I felt like I was suffocating in that room and I desperately needed a moment to compose myself. Quietly, I excused myself to the restroom.
Once I was behind the safety of the closed door, I finally let out the breath that had been trapped in my chest. I knew I didn’t have much time to get myself together before I needed to go back out there and face them, talk to them, but I just couldn’t get a handle on myself. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.
I braced myself and pulled the door open, fully expecting Phoenix to push his way into the bathroom with me. Instead, I was met with Ember’s soft face. She gave me a small smile and said, “I have less than two minutes before Dad comes barging in so I’ll get right to it. Coal and I are both glad that you’re here. We want to get to know you and have you be a part of our lives. This has to be unbelievably overwhelming, so Coal and I are going to head out soon. I thought maybe tomorrow you and I could spend some time together in the morning and then you and Coal could spend some time together tomorrow afternoon. That way it doesn’t feel like you’re under the microscope while you’re trying to find your footing.”
I pulled her into a hug. “You’re a very smart young woman.”
She leaned back and met my eyes. “I know what it feels like. I had the whole club watching when Dad and I were trying to develop a relationship and then again with Coal. It was stressful, to say the least.”
I hugged her again and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for that. I do want to know you and Coal and be a part of your lives, very much. I think I’m just scared to believe this is really happening. It was hard when I lost Phoenix, but it almost killed me when I lost you. If I had known about Coal back then, it probably would have killed me. I can’t go through a loss like that again.”
“It’s real, I promise.” She squeezed me tighter and sighed. “I’m so glad he found you.”
“Me, too, baby girl. Me, too.”
When Ember and I returned from the bathroom, we ran into Phoenix in the hallway. She was right. He was on his way to barge in and solve problems. The four of us sat and talked casually for another 30 minutes or so before the kids left. I made plans to spend the following morning with Ember and the afternoon with Coal. Unfortunately, to do so meant I had to go back to the farm and that was something I wholeheartedly did not want to do.
I was fairly quiet for the rest of the evening. Blessedly, Phoenix didn’t push for me to talk. Of all the things to process from the last week of my life, the one thing that kept cycling through my mind was going back to the farm. Years ago, I promised myself if I ever got away from that dreadful place I would never return. At the time, I had no idea I would one day have grown children happily living on the property.
“You okay, doll face?” Phoenix’s deep rumble caused me to jolt.
“Yeah, just tired. I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed,” I answered, hoping he believed my lie. He didn’t.
“Know you’re lying to me, doll face. What I don’t know is why…” he trailed off expecting me to answer.
I huffed. “My world has been completely upended this past week. I met my children, as my children, for the first time today. Not to mention we just rode halfway across the country on a motorcycle, survived a tornado, and drove the rest of the way in a box truck. I think I have a right to be tired!”
He stalked closer to me. “Yeah, you do have a right to be tired, but none of the things you just spewed has anything to do with what’s bothering you. You gonna tell me or do I need to make you?”
“Fuck off, Phoenix. Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m a child!” I yelled.
He placed his hands on my hips and held me in place. “Then stop acting like one and start talking.”
I turned my head to the side and muttered, “I don’t want to go to the farm.”
He engulfed me with his arms. “Oh, baby, I didn’t realize you were scared to go back there.”
“I’m not scared. I just don’t want to.”
He lightly chuckled. “You’re scared and that’s okay. Listen, Ember and Coal live there. Do you think I would let my kids live somewhere that wasn’t safe?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “A few of the club members work for Ember and some even live out there. Kathleen and Jeff still live there. Plus, a lot of things have changed. Parts of it don’t even look the same.”
I knew he was trying to help, but there was little to nothing he could say that would make me feel any better about the whole thing. Or so I thought.
“How about I go with you? Not to hover over you and the kids, but just so you know I’m there. We’ll ride over in my truck and you can keep the keys so you can leave whenever you want,” he offered.
I nodded into his chest. “That sounds good.”
He took a step back and met my eyes. “All right, now that that’s settled, you need to check your phone before you get in the shower. It’s been ringing a lot. It’s downstairs in your bag. Want me to get it for you?”
When he returned with my bag, I picked up my phone to look at the missed calls, but it started ringing in my hand.
“Hello,” I answered, inwardly cringing when I realized who had been calling.
“Hell, girl, you’ve damn near given me a heart attack! I haven’t heard from you in days. Token and I were getting ready to come looking for you!” Wave barked into the phone.
“I’m so sorry! I’m fine, really. The trip didn’t go as expected, but we made it to Croftridge a few hours ago,” I rushed out.
“I see. Well, start talking, half pint. Tell me all about it.”
I was on the phone with Wave for well over an hour. He was like the father I never had but always wished for. He wasn’t old enough to be my father, but that was the role he played in my life. By the time we were finished, I was exhausted. I sent a quick text to Nathan and decided to skip the shower. Minutes later I was fast asleep.