CADENCE
It’s bright. Someone’s turned the light on in the world and I’m not happy about it.
I make that unhappiness known in the way of kicking my legs and grabbing the sheets and rolling around on the bed until the sheet and I are the perfect shape of a human burrito.
“Up and at ‘em, Mary!” An obnoxious voice is saying. And an obnoxious hand is grabbing my burrito wrap and trying to unroll me from the comfort of my burrito cocoon.
But my feet are quick and very defensive of my right to sleep in. They kick out and I feel them connect with something. Something boney.
Something that is now as unhappy as I am.
“Ow! You kicked me.” That something is astute.
“Good. And I’ll do it again if you don’t leave me alone.” I threaten.
The room goes quiet and I’m glad that my words have been taken in the way they were intended, seriously.
Then suddenly I feel an entire obnoxious body fling itself onto the bed on top of me and it’s digging its fingers into my sides and even through the burrito wrap I can’t help but succumb to the relentless tickling, screaming at the top of my lungs for help as my attacker takes advantage of my weakness and unwraps me from my cotton sanctuary.
“I freed you! You’re welcome,” my attacker not-freer throws his hands up in the air in a misguided sense of victory.
I wonder, not for the first time, just how much it really hurts when you kick a man in the balls. Even in my morning grump, I feel that may be cutting my nose off to spite my face so I leave it for another time.
“Why are you not letting me sleep? My beauty, ergo, your attraction to me, counts on it!” I grumble at Sebastian.
He falls back onto the bed next to me and pulls my head to his chest, stroking my hair, knowing already that that’s my weakness.
“Shhhh, it’s breakfast time. The neighbors came by and asked if we want to walk to the restaurant with them since they’re leaving today too.”
“Tell ‘em ‘sure’, you’ll go with them, and I’ll stay here sleeping. Bye.”
“Well, yes, that’s an option, but instead, I told them you were getting ready and we’ll meet them in fifteen minutes. That was ten minutes ago.”
“Fine, wake me up in four minutes.”
“But then I won’t have time to give you an orgasm.”
“You don’t anyway.” I poke my tongue out at him.
“Challenge accepted!”
***
“Hmm, I guess I did have enough time after all.” Sebastian snickers as we step off our patio and onto the walkway up to the main building. I elbow him as I wave at the two people walking up to us.
We introduce ourselves to the older couple and together we make our way to the restaurant.
“So, you guys are leaving today as well?” Linda, the wife, a stunning blonde, asks me once the waiter’s taken our order.
“Yes,” I nod, pouting slightly at the reminder. Reality is waiting for us and who knows what else.
“You know, you just look so familiar to me, I just cannot place your face,” her husband, Greg, says to Sebastian, who just grins and shrugs.
“Have you had a good time?” I ask them, hoping to distract Greg.
“Hmm-hmm,” Linda nods, taking a sip of her mimosa, “Amazing. We’re already sorry to leave. We go back to the US today.”
“Oh, where are you from?” Although I’m pretty sure I can already guess from their accents.
“Oh, we’re from Texas.” Linda smiles at me, with a tinge of homesickness.
“I’VE GOT IT!” Greg roars suddenly, the three of us jump out of our seats.
“You’re from that band...that string band that won the Grammy this year.” Greg shouts, pointing at Sebastian, who is now trying to hide behind his menu.
“Honey...I don’t think...” Linda starts to say, trying to calm her husband down.
“It IS him, I swear!” Greg roars again, and I just shrug at Sebastian who puts down his menu.
“I’m so sorry, he gets really fixated on things until he can figure it out,” Linda apologizes for her husband who still hasn’t stopped staring at Sebastian.
“I changed my mind, let’s go back to our room and have sex,” Sebastian leans over and whispers into my ear. I swat him away and give him my biggest smile, “So, honey, why don’t you tell Greg here, what it’s like to be a Grammy winner?”
Greg slams his hand onto the table and lets out a big belly laugh, “I told you it was him! How are you doing, pal?” He reaches over the table and grabs Sebastian’s hand, shaking it up and down until I think Sebastian’s arm is about to be pulled from its socket.
The customers at the other tables are starting to stare at us, and it’s not until Linda physically extracts her husband’s hand from Sebastian’s that he finally lets go and sits back down.
“You guys are awesome!” Greg bellows across the table to Sebastian. “Man, I’m not much for classical music, but the way you guys mix it with some good ol’ classic rock n roll, we love it! Don’t we honey?!”
Sebastian, used to the attention, just smiles and lets Greg continue to shower him with praise, nodding and eating his food, but never really adding anything to what Greg’s saying.
“So, what are you guys doing here? Tell me you eloped, that would be such a romantic story.” Linda asks us, when she finally has a chance to get a word in while Greg takes a big forkful of eggs.
“Well, actually,” Sebastian grins at me, and I wonder what’s going on in his mind, “We DID just get married last night,” he leans over and whispers to Linda, whose eyes grow wide.
“Oh my gosh!!!! Did you hear that honey, they’re MARRIED!” She yells, and I suddenly see the resemblance between the two.
I turn and just stare at Sebastian, who winks and goes back to his food, as if nothing has happened.
“How did it happen? Tell us, tell us, tell us!” The blonde jumps out of her seat with excitement, flinging her fork to the floor.
“Yes, Muffinbottom, why don’t you tell them?” Sebastian says to me, a look of innocence on his face.
I glare at him, and turn back to our breakfast partners.
“Well, actually, Sebastian has been in love with me FOR YEARS. But I was never interested in him at all. I didn’t find him very...how do I say this...able to satisfy me in bed, you know.” I wink at Linda conspiratorially, and her eyes grow wider as she leans in further across the table.
Sebastian elbows me and I turn and shoot him my brightest smile. He cocks his eyebrow and I can see the thoughts churning in his brain. This is going to get nasty.
“Now, now, don’t be telling lies, Pinkywinky, you know that you were the one who was chasing me. Sending me all sorts of suggestive notes and...let’s just say, undergarments that had not been through the wash yet.”
The bastard.
“Well, Thumbdoodle, that was only after we had gotten together, you know, after your operation.” I nod for emphasis.
“Operation?” Both Greg and Linda ask, forks forgotten, hovering halfway to their mouths.
“Well, yes, we don’t like to talk about it, but you guys won’t tell anyone, will you?”
They shake their heads even as the drool collects in the corner of their mouths.
“Well, my Applewafflekins here,” and I lean in, and pause, before whispering, “Had a third testicle.”
Next to me I hear Sebastian choke, spitting out his drink. I reach over and pat him gently on the back.
“Are you OK, Snickerpie?” I ask, my voice dripping with honey.
“Oh, um, yes, just fine. I just didn’t realize that this drink had alcohol in it. You know, you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol, Waffletoes.”
I shake my head, this has gone too far, abort, abort, I beg him with my eyes.
“Why can’t she have alcohol?” Greg asks, his ass barely touching his seat.
“Well, she’s pregnant, of course.”
“OHYMYGOD!!! CONGRATULATIONS!” Linda shrieks.
“Oh no, it’s not mine.” Sebastian waves his hands in front of us. And I brace myself for what’s coming. “It’s her cousin’s, I mean, her ex-lover’s. But he left her for his next door neighbor’s dog walker, so that’s why we got married. I’m gonna take care of this little lady and her three babies.”
And he reaches over and pat me, my stomach specifically, and my ex-lover cousin’s unborn triplet babies.
The two sets of eyes across the table finally blink after a few seconds and turn towards each other, jaws barely clearing the table.
We take this moment to run.
“Oohh, um, honey, I don’t feel so well,” I moan, kicking Sebastian under the table.
“Oh, her morning sickness has been terrible, I better take her back to her room. You two enjoy the breakfast now, it’s on me! Enjoy the rest of your trip.”
I jump out of my chair and try not to run out of the hotel restaurant, careful not to drop the imaginary fetuses, pushing open the entrance doors and turning the corner just in time to let out the giant guffaw I’d been holding in.
Sebastian catches up with me, his hands covering his mouth and I’m wondering how he can hold his laughter in. He’s shaking his head and he just keeps running back to our villa. He disappears down the walkway and about ten second later I hear a roar of laughter.
The sound of him laughing sets me off again and I bend over at the hip, trying to breathe between my laughter. It’s a good five minutes before I can just barely make my way back to our room.
SEBASTIAN
“Ready to go?” I nudge her with my toe.
“No.” She mumbles, her face still buried in the cushion.
“Well, we have no choice.” I remind her.
“Sure, we do. We can stay. We can go live with that kangaroo family. We can take turns sleeping in her front bag.”
I kneel down and gently stroke her hair. She purrs and it sends shivers through my body.
“It’s time to go, baby.”
“Don’t YOU want to stay?”
“More than you know. But not more than I want to go back to our lives...so I can show you off.”
She pauses and then sighs, heaving herself off the couch.
“Sweet talker.” She raises herself up on her tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “We’re really going back to our lives together?”
“Yes, of course.” I tell her.
“I mean, going back together, as in, when we go back there, we’ll be together.”
“As opposed to...”
“Not being together.” She explains, but clarifying nothing.
“Right. What?”
“This is not...just for here?” She asks, her voice suddenly filled with insecurity.
I thread my fingers through hers and tell her with more conviction then I have ever said anything, “No, it’s for here, there, everywhere and in between.”
And I can see she likes the thought of that.
***
“Over here! Seb! Cadence!”
Over the bobbing heads all going in the direction of baggage claim, I can see Hank waving to us, and I wave back and lead Cadence over to him.
“Fucking hell! All hell is breaking loose! Quick, we better get you guys to the car!”
Cadence looks over at me, and I just shrug. I have as little idea about what’s going on as she has.
One of the SUVs is waiting for us at the pick-up point and I help Cadence get in first, and slide in after her. Hanks throws our bags into the trunk and climbs into the passenger seat.
“Take us back to the hotel, please.” He tells the driver and then turns to us.
“What’s going on?” We ask him.
“Come on! Like you don’t know.”
“We don’t. Hello, the only contact we’ve had with the outside world is my call to you to come pick us up.”
“So, you don’t have something to tell me? About you two?”
“Well, um, I mean...”
Cadence looks over at me. We’d agreed that we wouldn’t be making a big announcement. If one of the guys asked then we’d confirm that we were together, but for now, we’d hoped that we could fly under the radar. Of course, disappearing for three days together was going to get some tongues wagging.
“Just spit it out, Hank.”
“No way, this is Dennis’ territory, I’m just here to pick you up.” He turns and slides his earphones into his ears and tries to ignore us.
***
“What the hell have you done?” Dennis yells at us as soon as we walk through the rehearsal room door. His face is red and it looks like he’s spent the last three hours running his fingers through his hair trying not to pull it all out.
“It’s good to see you too, Dennis! We missed you!” I reply and turn to wink at Cadence.
“No, no, no, there will be none of that.” He points at me, “You! Sit there.” He points at the sofa. “And Cadence. You.” He turns and points to the recliner opposite the couch. “You sit there.”
“Yes, Dad.” We move to sit in our respective assigned seats.
“Now, answer me this time. What the hell have you done?”
“What are you talking about, Dennis?”
“You disappear for three days...TOGETHER! And this morning, I get a Google alert to say that, and I QUOTE, “Sebastian Dupont from Grammy Winner Band Elopes with Oz High School Music Teacher!” He turns to us, his mouth dropping open.
Cadence drops her head, her hair falling in front of her face, a move I’ve become accustomed to now, when she wants to hide her expression. Her shaking shoulders however are giving her away.
“Oh.” I shrug, “That. That’s nothing.” I get up from my seat, “Anyone want a coffee?”
Dennis roars, “Sit your fucking ass down!”
I sink back down into my seat and bite the inside of my cheek trying not to laugh. “Chill, man.”
“I will chill, when you tell me what the hell’s going on! Are you two married?”
“No, of course not, you psycho!” I yell back at him. “We just went away for a few days!”
Dennis takes a deep breath, almost dizzy with relief and sits down in the empty seat next to me. “Then where did the rumor come from?”
“Dude, are you NEW? How many times have they come up with all sorts of shit?”
“Yeah, but this one...I mean, they mentioned Cadence. Not some random celebrity.”
“Um, yeah, well, lucky guess.” I shrug, biting the inside of my cheek. If Dennis knew I was the source of the rumor, he’d castrate me with a rusty knife.
“So...you’re not married?” He confirms.
“No.”
“OK. Yeah, OK, great.”
“Wait, hang on why? What if we WERE married? It’s going to happen to one of us at some point, ya know.”
“Then I’d want the story broken my way.”
“Fine. But you should know, while we’re not married, we are...together.”
“Well, yeah,” his face utters the silent ‘duh’.
“What do you mean, ‘well, yeah’?”
“I mean, well, we had a freaking pool going, for fuck’s sake, to see how long it would take you two to get your acts together.”
“Who won?” Cadence finally speaks up.
“None of your business.”
“So, what are we going to do about these marriage rumors then?”
“What we always do, ignore them.” He gets up and goes over to his laptop, his shoulders relaxed.
“You sure?”
“I guess, there was some other weird shit in the article as well, some stuff about you having some operation and just marrying Cadence to take care of her unborn babies.”
“Er, yeah, that is bloody weird.” I say as I get up and sit down next to Cadence, throwing my arm around her shoulders.
The door flings open and the band walks in, carrying take-out and drinks.
“MR. and MRS. Dupont! You are back!!” Marius bellows, walking into the room with his arms outstretched. “Can’t wait to babysit your bastard kids!”
“Oh, for god’s sake. I’m outta here.” Dennis moves towards the doorway, then stops, “Guys, what do you think, our concert next Friday, if we get Cadence up on stage for a song? I mean, the concert is mainly to launch the new band name and to test out some of the new songs, but a teaser for the piano pieces might be good.”
Brad shrugs and balances his bow on top of his head, “Fine by me, get the audience excited for our new album.”
“Guys, I don’t want to be stepping on any toes. You, um, hired me for the album, not any concerts. Maybe you want to keep performances for yourselves and just put me on playback or something.” Cadence offers thoughtfully.
“Are you kidding? You’re going to be a hit.” Marius smiles at her, and I’m grateful that they love her almost as much as I do.
“What should we play?” Jez throws out for discussion.
“I’ve got just the song.”