Chapter 11

~ Gabrielle ~

Six Years Earlier

We sat in the car in the parking lot of the restaurant after dinner talking, bouncing from one topic to another, sponging up everything about each other. We hadn’t meant for it to happen, but the conversation continued to flow and neither of us wanted the date to end, wanting to continue discovering all there was to know about the other.

Danny grabbed my hands in his. “I want to ask you about your dad, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”

I swallowed and nodded.

“Do you think about it a lot?” His thumbs rubbed small circles on the back of my hands.

I took a deep breath and gazed out the dirty front windshield. I liked the feel of the strength in his hands as they grasped mine, and it somehow helped me to gather the courage to discuss what had happened.

“Yeah, I think about it. I try not to, but it’s hard.” I gave a wistful smile. “But it isn’t like what everyone probably thinks. They probably think I’m sad and upset.”

His brows bent in surprise. “You’re not?”

“Well, I am, but mostly I’m angry.” My eyes tightened on his. “How dare he take the easy way out, you know? He got himself tied up in all these bad deals and got us in more debt than you can imagine, and then just left my mom to bail us out. He didn’t trust her enough to tell her, or that she would stand by his side through it. It isn’t fair to her, and isn’t fair to Monica and me to have to completely change our lives because he couldn’t deal with it himself.”

“So that’s why you moved here?”

I nodded. “We couldn’t get anything from insurance since his death was a suicide, so it’s all we could afford and close to where my mom was able to find a job. This is the only place willing to give her a chance since she didn’t have any work experience. She was a stay-at-home mom right out of college before this.”

“Where did you live before?”

“In Rochester.”

He chuckled. “Damn. Way on the other side of the tracks.”

I smiled, but it quickly fell from my face. “But you know what, Danny? I know you’re thinking I want to go back because that’s where I fit in, but you’re wrong. I didn’t fit in there either. They made fun of me there too. I don’t fit in anywhere.”

“Hey.” He scooted closer on the bench seat and ran his fingers through my hair. “Don’t think like that. You don’t want to just ‘fit in,’ you know? Because that means you’re conforming, and that’s not you. You’re your own person and you know what you want. You know exactly who you are and that’s what I like about you. Hell, I respect the fuck out of that. Who cares if you don’t run with the crowd? I hate all these posers who go along with everyone else because they can’t fucking think for themselves.”

“You really believe that?”

“Yeah, I believe that.”

“Thank you.” I glanced down, embarrassed by what I was about to say. “Can I tell you something and you promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“I will never laugh at you, baby. Never.”

I bit my lip and squirmed before blurting out, “This is my first date. Ever.”

Disbelief washed over his face. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope. Eighteen years old and first ever.”

“Well,” he said, and started the car. “It’s their loss, sweetheart. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

“Where are we going?”

He grinned at me as he turned out of the parking lot. “I’m about to pump up this date so it will be the only first date you remember.”

* * *

Danny parked and came alongside to open the passenger door. When I stepped out into the shadowy night, the cool wind stirred up my hair and I shivered. “Where are we?”

He took my hand in his. “Come this way.”

We walked through a dim park, lit by a spattering of tall lampposts, only a few of which were working. We had crossed a bridge, which ended on a small island, and all around us, only the dark expanse of water was visible. Off in the distance, the buildings of the city shone brilliantly, casting a white glow against the black backdrop of the sky; but here, the bright lights barely reached us. The wind was brisk off the water, and I picked up my step in order to snuggle closer to him as I held my jacket closed.

We came to a wood bench at the point of the island, and he sat, pulling me down next to him and draping his arm across my shoulders. Heat poured off him and I turned into his side.

“You cold?” His mouth hovered over my ear, his warm breath tickling my neck.

I shook my head. “Not anymore. Where are we?”

“I come here a lot. The quiet helps me to think, figure shit out. I’ve thrown down some mean lyrics here.”

“It’s nice here,” I murmured, enjoying the calming influence of the water as it lapped against the rugged shoreline, the sound occasionally breaking through the silence around us.

He nodded as he stared straight ahead. Even in the darkness, I recognized the edge in his eyes. “I’ve never brought anyone here.”

I sat up in wonder, reading between the lines. He was a guarded person, and for him to let someone else into his private world showed trust. The dynamics between us were changing at warp speed, and while this excited me, tiny vines of anxiety crept in, threatening to crack the fragile hold on my level-headedness.

“Thank you.” My words were simple, but I hoped they conveyed the enormity of my feelings.

He shook his head as he turned away. I thought I’d said something wrong, but then he chuckled. “What?” I asked.

“That’s why you’re dope, G. You fucking get me. No one else would ever understand the importance of this place for me.”

I scooted back, putting some space between us. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why do you trust me? You don’t know me.”

Danny’s eyes traveled over my face before they came back to mine. “Why do you trust me?”

I frowned as I struggled to put into words what I’d innately understood from the second I’d laid eyes on him. Everything felt right with him. How I knew, however, I couldn’t explain.

He waited for me to answer and when I could not find the words, he smiled. “I feel the same way.”

“I don’t understand…how….”

“Maybe we’re not supposed to.” His shoulders hitched up. “Maybe we’re just supposed to believe in it.”

“But you didn’t want to. You said so yourself, opposites and all that.”

He sat back, considering me, before rising and walking a few steps away. Standing with his back to me, he stood straight, the lines of his body tense, as he worked his way over something in his head.

His shoulders dropped and he returned, sitting next to me as he grabbed my hands with his. “You’re right. I didn’t want to believe it.” He stopped and shook his head. “No, it’s not even that. I resisted because I knew if I gave in, it would be the end of the game for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You could destroy me, Gabrielle. Easily.” Seeing my confusion, he pressed on. “I know I walk around like I don’t give a shit, like I got a fucking boulder on my shoulder and that nothing fazes me, but you’ve somehow gotten past all that. Now I’m open to you. Exposed. I knew once we started, there was no turning back. Ever.”

“You could hurt me just as much, if not more. Remember? First timer here.” I tried to joke, if only to keep from suffocating. So much was swirling around inside me that I was having trouble not becoming overwhelmed.

“Never. I would never hurt you. I would hurt myself before I hurt you.”

I broke eye contact and let out a shaky breath, unable to breathe under his penetrating gaze. I never would have believed I would find a boyfriend in my new life, but that’s exactly what happened. It was exhilarating and nerve-wracking, all at the same time, but I’d never felt more alive. “God, this is intense.”

“I’m sorry, baby, but that’s the way I roll. I don’t do anything half-ass.”

“I’m not complaining.” I gave him a timid smile as I turned back toward him, emboldened by his words. “But it would really help things if you would kiss me.”

His eyes darkened in the hazy lights before he drew me to him, his fingers tangling in my hair, and his mouth pressed against mine. He held me there before angling our heads and parting his lips, encouraging me to open to him, teaching me what to do.

My arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. The heat rushing through me from the warmth of his lips and the gentle slide of his tongue was startling, and I craved more. I wanted his hands all over me and my hands on him, needing to feel everything. Caught up in the rapture, I forgot my usual apprehension. It was as if an eruption had exploded when we touched, and there was no way to bring the rush under control.

I ran my fingers through his unruly hair before moving to relish the strength of his shoulders and down his back. But when my hands bumped into something hard and cold at his waistline, I shoved away. The jagged edges of reality pushed through, reminding me of where I was and how everything was different, dampening all desire within me.

“What’s that for?” I asked on a panted breath.

His eyes were bright and dazed, but he held his hands up as if in surrender. “It’s okay.”

I shook my head, my chest heaving as I fought the clogged feeling of alarm in my lungs. I couldn’t stop imagining the gun accidentally going off. “Why do you even have the gun on you? It’s a date!”

“It’s okay, baby. Really. I carry everywhere I go.”

“But why?”

~ Danny ~

I gave her an apologetic smile, but one that also conveyed she was still green to her surroundings. “Because I have to. You just don’t understand yet.”

Her eyes widened with a fearful expression that tore at me. She took in a haggard breath and stood, walking a few feet away as I had done moments before. I hung back, watching as she dropped her head and hunched her shoulders, hugging her arms around her torso as if to shield herself, before I could take no more and strode over, pulling her against me. She came willingly, for which I was thankful.

“You’re safe with me, baby. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

“It just scares me that you have to carry a gun. I’m not worried about me.”

My heart expanded at her words. When had someone else worried about me, let alone cared? Never.

I reached down and lifted her chin to meet her eyes. “I’ll be fine.” I kissed her lightly. “But thank you for caring.”

I tightened my hold on her, and she rested her head on my shoulder as her arms circled my waist. We fit together like two puzzle pieces.

“Can you not have it on you when we’re together?” she asked.

“Sure, baby. Anything for you.”

“Thank you.”

We stood wrapped in each other’s arms before I began to rock back and forth.

“Alone in mistrust, I wasn’t looking for much,

Until one day it changed and a bright light showed me the way,

It glowed and flamed, before taking my breath away.”

I rapped softly in her ear, telling her a story about never believing in love until an angel appeared, bringing love and light to a world that was dark and mistrustful, and how things could never go back to the way they were.

She raised her head when I finished. “What was that?”

“Some lines I threw down about finding you.”

Her eyes shone, and my chest expanded and filled. I felt like a hero. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re beautiful.” I leaned in for another kiss.

When we pulled away, both of us a little breathless, I stopped her from putting her head back on my shoulder. I had to tell her. Everything.

Her expression shifted to worry. “What is it?”

My mouth went dry. I struggled to swallow, my tongue feeling too big. “I’m falling in love with you, Gabrielle. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

She hesitated, and my heart tripped in panic, fearing I’d revealed too much, had misread everything, but then she smiled and everything was back to perfect. “I know this sounds crazy, but I’m already in love with you, Danny.”

I caught her lips with mine. “Forever.”

“Forever.”