CHAPTER 3
The next morning, Rae exited the coffee shop on the corner of Main Street and headed toward her vet clinic, basking in the sunny day. If her feet weren’t sore from all the dancing with Travis the night before after they returned to the reunion, she’d think it had been a dream. Hell, the entire night, up until he deposited her in the cab and gave her a final kiss goodbye, watching as the car drove away, seemed like a total fantasy.
“Hey, watch out!”
Rae blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Sorry,” she called, stopping herself from walking straight into someone on the sidewalk.
She pushed the memories of her unbelievable night away and focused on the street around her, trying to center her world again.
Catfish Creek’s downtown had changed a lot in the last ten years. It had grown to accommodate new stores and chain restaurants, keeping up with the modern times and an evolving city. But the Hamburger Shack hadn’t changed all that much over the years, and likely still had the original paint on the exterior. They also had the best greasy burgers in town, so no one ever cared what the place looked like.
Rae reached one of the original buildings on Main Street, built back in the 1840s. It was now home to her vet clinic, Catfish Creek Animal Hospital, and she was happy she’d kept some of the building’s charm. With its commercial, Victorian, iron-front architecture, she hadn’t modernized the building too much when she bought the place with the inheritance left to her by her grandmother’s estate.
She entered through the front and shut the finicky door behind her, smiling at her receptionist, Sandy Lynn, who waved back since she was talking on the telephone. Dogs barked and cried in the kennel behind her as she made her way down the hallway. She passed the four exam rooms before entering her office on the left.
On her desk, she found the newspaper article the Catfish Creek Chronicle had written about her a month ago, telling those in the area that she was steps away from turning her clinic into a chain. In the neighboring city, she’d noticed a big space on the map without an animal hospital. This coming February, she’d turn twenty-nine, and that only gave her a year and change to get her second clinic up and running. She set goals and achieved them. They gave her purpose, and that’s why she was as far ahead in her professional life as she was. She’d sacrificed a personal life to soar professionally. But, sometimes, she wondered if she excelled jobwise because she had no personal life to speak of. She wasn’t sure she liked that.
Seeing Travis last night only reminded her how much she’d given up to get where she was today. Yes, she was proud of everything she’d accomplished, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d done the right thing. She didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would after reaching her goal.
With a sigh, she dropped down into her leather swivel chair. After a quick sip of her coffee, she placed the paper cup next to her keyboard on her antique, whitewashed desk. While her thoughts were on the busy day ahead of her, and on her next steps for the future, she couldn’t help but think about last night. She swore she could still hear Travis’s voice, feel his tongue working her expertly. She even remembered—vividly—how his fingers felt thrusting inside her. God. She shivered, recalling the new insane heat he exuded. But something about him last night made her feel cold, even today.
He seemed…troubled, and she couldn’t make sense of that. He’d wanted to touch her, but not take anything back for himself. He wanted her to lust over him, crave him even, that much was clear. He wanted her to give herself to him. But only for one night?
Why?
Last night, she’d tried twice to get him to take her somewhere else for a little more of the past, but he only wanted to dance, talk, and reminisce. He wasn’t acting like the boy she remembered or the hot rock star that could get any woman he wanted. He was acting as if she were what he came back for, and she couldn’t understand it.
Determined to figure it all out, she turned toward her computer and opened her web browser, navigating to his Instagram page. There, she found photos of him and all his traveling. God, she envied that. She also took note of his millions of followers, only reminding her how different they were. Her clinic’s Facebook page had maybe 5,000 Likes, and she had the most successful vet clinic in Catfish Creek.
Shoving that thought aside, she brought up his band’s YouTube channel. Clip after clip, she watched Travis being interviewed by reporters. She watched the videos from early in his career, and in them, he was the guy she remembered. Alive. Vivacious. Clear and determined in his path. But in the more recent ones, he seemed dark…different.
A sudden knock on her door made her lift her head, only to find Travis, wearing a pair of worn blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, and a black cotton vest. All those things screamed hot, but it was his black beanie that made him look so damn sexy she barely stopped herself from letting her tongue wag out.
His eyebrow lifted, mouth curved. “Are you watching YouTube videos of me?”
“Er…” She fumbled for her mouse, desperately attempting to close the tab on her browser. He didn’t say anything more, but oh, boy, did he still grin at her.
Nothing about this amused her, nothing at all. “You are not supposed to be here,” she said so fast she barely heard the words coming from her mouth. “Was your flight delayed?”
He shook his head. “No. I changed my mind about leaving this morning.”
She shot up from her desk, grabbed his shirt, tugged him into her office, and then slammed the door shut behind him. “You cannot be here. Last night was last night. You know, for ol’ time’s sake, but you were leaving. That’s what you said,” she reminded him. “That you were leaving this morning, and our lives would go back to normal. You staying isn’t life going back to normal. The reunion is over. It’s time to go home.”
And she needed that because last night was so much more than she thought it would be. Eighteen-year-old Travis was hard to forget—not that she ever really had. But this confident version of him tripped her heart in very dangerous ways. And she could not afford to fantasize about a possible future with him. There were too many reasons not to even hope for it. The number one reason was the same as it had been ten years ago—she lived in Catfish Creek, and he lived in New York.
Travis frowned, leaned against the closed door, and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking far too sexy doing something so simple. “Well, I decided that was a terrible idea,” he said breezily. “To be perfectly honest, I decided I absolutely needed to see you again. Did you not enjoy yourself last night?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, of course, but—”
“Then why don’t we explore that fun a little more?” His smile was pure sin.
Her mind yelled go.
Her heart screamed stay, no…leave.
Her body shouted hell yeah!
Silence fell, and he glanced around her office and then smiled at her. “I’m really proud of you, Rae. Look at this place. It’s amazing.”
“Oh, no,” she quipped. “You can’t just skip over all this. You need to leave. Immediately.”
He snorted. “Wow, Rae. Seriously, tell me what you really think.”
“Okay, I will,” she hastily retorted, pointing at him. “This is bad, and it will lead to nothing good. You need to go. Right now, Travis.” She moved to reach for the door handle, and he stepped away as she opened it, her body shaking from the inside out.
This was all too raw. Too real. All the past emotions were simmering right beneath the surface, impossible to ignore. Logic had her telling him to go ten years ago. Things hadn’t changed. In fact, their lives were even more complicated now.
He suddenly grabbed her wrist and frowned. “Why is my staying so terrible?”
Because I still love you. Because I live here, and you live somewhere else. Because this can never work out. Instead of exposing her heart and crossing lines she couldn’t uncross, she said, “Because that would make what happened last night very complicated.” She paused, trying to explain herself clearly.
His eyes searched hers, and slowly he began to smile. “Oh, no you don’t,” she snapped at his sly expression. “Don’t you dare give me that look?”
A little heat rose to his eyes as he stroked his thumb across her wrist. “What look is that?”
“The one that tells me you don’t care that this is complicated.”
“You’re right, I don’t care.” He tugged her to him, those warm eyes virtually stripping the clothes right off her body. “I decided to stay, and I want to spend more time with you, find out who you are now. But I’d rather do that naked with you beneath me.”
She swallowed against the visual in her mind. His new confidence did disastrous things to her libido, including activating it in ways she didn’t want to tamp down. “What do you mean, find out who I am now?”
He half shrugged. “You seem different. I don’t know”—his eyes searched hers again—“a little unsteady, a bit more reckless, brash even. It’s like I’m looking at a whole new you.”
She snorted a laugh. “And you got all that from what happened in the library?”
His smile was dangerously full of heat. “I got all that from the way you spread your legs for me and then came against my tongue.”
Her mouth fell open, a soft gasp escaping her mouth. His body heat poured into her, his sexy words simmered, and the promise of an even sexier night ahead made her nipples pucker. She licked her lips, watching the way he took his whole bottom lip into his mouth before she lifted her attention to his deep, gorgeous eyes.
He stepped closer again, his spicy-scented cologne swirling around her. “Let me have you, Rae. Fully and completely.”
Her heart raced, heat pooling between her thighs. “How long are you staying for?” Damn, she was beginning to justify this, and her mind roared bad idea at her. But…those eyes, that smile, that self-assurance…that heat…
“I’m afraid I don’t know yet,” he said, taking the tip of his finger and dragging it from her wrist upwards. He smiled when she shivered. “That depends.”
“On?” she rasped.
“You, and how long you let me stay in your bed.” He continued dragging his finger up and over her shoulder. When he reached her jawline and began tracing up her cheek, he added, “This isn’t really all that complicated, Rae. I want you. You’re the only one who…” His desperate whisper trailed off.
He cupped her cheek and stared at her intently, and that’s when he opened the barrier between them. She sucked in a deep breath, seeing what he so clearly hid from others. Misery. The type of personal agony that takes one’s breath away. Loneliness in a busy life full of people. Her heart broke a little. Why was he miserable? What about his life was draining all that incredible energy and spirit from him and leaving him this engulfed in pain?
“What exactly are you asking of me?” She needed this to be clear.
His mouth twitched, and his voice deepened. “There’s quite a lot I’d like to request of you.” He threaded his fingers into her hair, and her body turned to mush in the tight hold as he added, “But for now, I’d like to take you out tonight to Rebels, would that be all right?”
One more night certainly couldn’t hurt…right?
Curiosity and intrigue made her decision an easy one. Before deciding if sex was on the table, she needed to find out why a guy like Travis, one who had it all, looked so damn sad. And to do that, she needed more time. “Seven o’clock, okay?”
He nodded. “I’m staying at the hotel around the corner from the bar, so how about I meet you there?”
She inclined her head in agreement, and her breath hitched at the way his mouth curved. While she knew the action would happen seconds before his mouth met hers, the power of the kiss couldn’t be anticipated. He put everything into it. His fingers clutched her hair, and he cradled her body so perfectly against his. His tongue danced with hers, not roughly to own; but sensually, to invite her.
By the time he backed away, her blood was racing through her veins, and she was breathless. “Tonight,” she said.
He smiled. “Tonight.”
* * *
“Meet me at Rebels in an hour if you’re still in town.”
The unexpected text from Jake, Travis’s closest high school friend, had brought Travis to Rebels earlier than he’d planned to meet Rae. Travis hadn’t seen Jake at the reunion at all last night, which was weird because the guy had said he’d be there.
When Travis arrived, he found Jake sitting on a stool at the main bar, shoving his hand through his blond hair. His friend looked the same as he did back in high school, athletic enough to play in the NFL. And if he hadn’t spectacularly broken his arm senior year, the scar on his right bicep a lasting memory of that tragedy, that probably would’ve been the case.
Jake wasn’t the only thing that hadn’t changed much. The rock and roll bar on Main Street looked the same, except for the steel bar stools with black leather seats, and the purple under-table lighting beneath the high tables. The black walls remained, with guitars filling up the bare space. Betty even served up drinks from the bottles of booze lining the shelves behind the bar like no time had passed, though the owner’s face showed her age. No one could hide a lifetime of partying.
Travis took a seat next to Jake, and barely had time to catch up with his childhood friend before Betty placed two glasses of whiskey in front of them that neither he nor Jake had asked for.
“Well, then.” Travis lifted his half-full glass. Betty had obviously seen what he had. Judging by Jake’s deep frown, he needed this drink—and maybe a few more after. “To Betty.”
“To Betty.”
“I heard that,” she called from the back room. “Stop stalling and take your shots. My grandmammy always said men were the weaker sex, and you’re bound and determined to prove her right.”
Jake chuckled before tossing back the entire drink, though his smile faded just as fast.
Travis laughed, too. As a kid, he would have killed to play a weekend gig here. The closest he ever got was when the bar had all-ages open mic events. In fact, his agent discovered him on one of those nights.
When Jake lowered the empty glass, Travis began to wonder if the reason his friend called him here was the same reason Travis hadn’t seen Jake at the reunion last night. He narrowed his focus on his friend and realized he knew exactly why Jake needed to unload. Ghosts lived in Jake’s green eyes. “Damn.” He whistled softly. “I know that look. You have woman trouble.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Jake muttered.
“I have some time to talk,” Travis said after finishing off the remaining whiskey. “That’s why you asked me here, isn’t it?”
“This isn’t something that can be talked through,” Jake explained, voice grim. “I fucked up. Now I just need to figure out how to fix it.”
Seeing that his friend searched for a way to forge ahead, Travis rested an elbow on the bar and recalled advice that his father once gave him after a fight he had with Rae. “Word of advice, don’t take the safe way out—flowers and chocolates and that shit. Do something that will have special significance to her. It’ll mean more, and she might stand still long enough for you to get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness.”
Jake cleared his throat, finally looking at Travis. “You have a lot of experience with that sort of thing—the getting down on your knees and begging bit?”
Travis smirked. “There’s always a first time.” At this point in his life, he wanted someone that required that of him. Most women dropped to their knees without ever asking anything of him. It wasn’t something that made him proud.
Travis wasn’t sure if it was what he’d said or if something had suddenly clicked in Jake’s head, but the man cursed and rose then glanced over his shoulder.
Travis waved him off, not needing to get in the way of something obviously important. “Go get your woman.” Besides, Rae stood behind Jake, and there wasn’t a chance in hell Travis would send her away.
“Look me up next time you’re in Dallas,” Jake said.
He nodded and smiled. “I always do.”
As Jake strode off, a smiling Rae stepped closer. Travis couldn’t stop himself from giving her the once-over she deserved. Fuck, she was so damn pretty. She wore a white summer dress with brown cowboy boots, and her hair was perfectly straight, her makeup light and so Rae. There was such a…realness about her; something that he couldn’t ever explain, not even to himself. She was just herself. Always. Never trying to be something she wasn’t. More importantly, he’d never met someone so comfortable in her own skin. But there was more between them now. As odd as it was, it felt as if the love they once shared was simmering right there beneath the surface, but it had the potential to be even better if only they let it grow.
When he came to the reunion, he’d expected Rae to be the same old girl, the woman who always picked logic over love, but she seemed different. His old Rae would have never let him go down on her in the library. His old Rae would have never changed her mind when he pushed her to let him stay. It was a transformation he couldn’t ignore. He needed to explore this new development more to see if maybe the love of his life was ready to forget practicality and choose love instead.
As he looked into her pretty eyes again, she asked, “Is Jake okay?”
“Yeah, he’ll be all right.” Travis looked at the door Jake had left through, knowing that whatever was going on with Jake was some pretty heavy shit, but it also wasn’t his business to share. “Come on,” he said, smiling back at Rae. “Let’s grab a booth.”
She smiled in return and followed him to the far corner away from everyone else, exactly as he intended it.
In no time, they were seated and had placed their orders for chicken wings and fries, which was a Rebels’ specialty. In traditional style, Betty had their meals set out in front of them before they could even finish their first drink.
“So, tell me about all the excitement in your life,” Rae said, raising a chicken wing to her mouth. “You must have some pretty crazy stories.”
Travis picked up a wing, too. “Sure, I have some stories, but they’re not worth retelling.”
“To me, you mean?”
He laughed and nodded. “Especially to you.” After he’d taken a bite, he added, “But believe me, Rae, fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Why?” she asked before ripping off a piece of the chicken, leaving sauce on the corner of her mouth.
He grinned. “You eating that is a perfect example. Do you know how long it’s been since a woman has done that in front of me?”
She devoured the wing and even sucked the sauce off the bones. “I hope you’re not expecting me to be embarrassed about that because it won’t happen. I like food. A lot.”
He chuckled. “Actually, I like it. I miss it, in fact.”
She paused, eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. “You miss watching a woman eat a chicken wing?”
“Yes.”
She snorted and grabbed another from the pile. “You are so weird. You know that, right?”
He barked a laugh, watching her practically inhale her meal. “Take that as another example. I can’t even remember the last time someone said something negative to me.”
She placed her chicken wing down on the plate and frowned at him. “Let me get this straight. I eat like a pig, and I say mean things to you, and you like it?”
“That’s right. I fucking love it.” He noted the way she watched him then, a little more intensely, obviously thinking thoughts he wished he could hear.
“Is that what the library was all about? Why you wouldn’t let me touch you?”
He held her stare. “I wanted to remember what it looked like, what it was like, to pleasure a woman who truly wanted me, not Travis the rock star. If you touched me, I’d have gotten lost in my own pleasure, and I wanted to focus on you alone. I wanted that memory.”
She quickly looked away, drew in a deep breath, and then hastily switched the subject. “Even if you don’t really like the fame, you still love the music?”
“I’ll always love the music.” He placed the bones down and sucked the sauce off his thumb. He liked the way her eyes heated, and her lips parted as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. “The crowd, the energy that happens when I’m on stage. The thrill never gets old.”
She smiled softly. “It’s what you always wanted. Your dream has come true. That’s great, right?”
“Some of my dreams have been realized.” Emotion slammed into his chest. She simply didn’t know how much he regretted when it came to her. How much he’d fought over the years to somehow find peace in his life. So many times, he wanted to come back for her, but he needed his craft as much as he needed her. Without the music, he was nothing. But slowly, the years without her grew colder and colder. He couldn’t quite remember the happy guy he’d been in high school, but being with her now made him feel like he could find him again.
“Travis,” she said softly.
He looked at her then, and whatever she saw on his face made her sit back in her seat as worry filled her expression. He knew why; he’d let his guard down. Walls that he had in place so no one could see the real him, and discover how broken he was. “Fake smiles, Rae,” he told her, “that’s what got me through. Fake laughter during interviews. Even grinning when I knew the paparazzi was around me. It was always a show, and I was always on point…until I got home. Until the quiet. Until all that was left was me and the reminder that the two loves of my life—music and you—fought to win, and you lost.”
She glanced down at her plate, and he watched her take two deep breaths before she whispered, “I can’t do this, Travis.”
The noise in the bar all seemed to dull as she became his only focus. “What can’t you do?” he asked.
“This. Us. Whatever we’re doing here.” She finally looked at him, emotion raging in her eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this with you. Last night was fine because it was supposed to be a fleeting thing, not emotional, just some sexy fun. Then we’d wake up and return to our normal lives, and it’d all feel like a dream. But what you’re saying now…what you’re suggesting…it crosses a line I can’t cross with you. It took me years to get to a place where I stopped missing you.”
“I didn’t know that,” he barely managed, never having seen it that way. “I thought my leaving was easy for you.”
“Easy?” she scoffed. “I was a mess for a really long time, and terribly heartbroken, but I was the strong one, doing the right thing so that you could go after your dreams. I had to be the practical one, so we didn’t end up one of those miserable couples living a life we never wanted because we wanted each other. I did that for us.”
He cringed, recoiling at how cold her words made him feel, before she added, “I know you don’t want to hear that, but I…I can’t do this with you. Nothing has changed. This can never work between us. In the end, I’m going to be sitting here devastated, watching you walk away from me again.”
The sudden beep of her phone had her reaching into her purse. When she looked at the screen, she sighed. “I’m sorry, there’s an emergency at work…” She glanced at him, pain in her eyes before she rose. “I have to go.”
“Just wait,” he called. “Let’s talk.”
“I can’t,” she said, slowly shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”
He scrambled to say the right thing…do the right thing…but only managed, “Rae, don’t go.”
Almost as if she were in slow motion, she moved out of the booth and then came to his side. The soft look she gave him, paired with the sweetness in her voice, broke him as she said, “Last night was amazing.” His eyes shut as she pressed her warm lips against his cheek. “But today is a reality that I just can’t deal with. My heart is on the line here, Travis, and I’m sorry, but I can’t let you hurt me just because you want to dip into the past again and remember the guy you used to be.”
When he reopened his eyes, she was gone.