Rook

"Alright, so what's up?" I ask after I've been in Cross' office for a full minute and no one's volunteering the information.

Tank is here, with one foot on the windowsill glaring at me like I've interrupted his leisurely gazing out the window. Scar is on the sofa not meeting my eye. Hawk, the guy who handles our more technical tasks like hacking and making sure we stay one step ahead of the law, is scowling at me from the other sofa and Cross is pouring himself a drink like he's alone in the room. I feel like I've walked into an interrogation chamber and I'm presumed guilty.

Tank and Cross exchange a look, Scar and Hawk continue glaring at me as before.

"Fine, I'll tell him," Tank says and his sarcasm is pissing me off worse than usual right now.

"Someone tell me," I snap. "I got better things to do than share silence with you all."

"You and me both," Tank says and gives me a knowing grin like he understands perfectly about how bad I want to go back to Ines. Don't know how he can? He's never exactly been a one woman type of guy for long. The Sheriff job went down successfully last night, so I guess he’s back in Cross’ good graces.

"The Gentleman called me this afternoon," Cross says. "He wants his woman back."

My blood turned to ice before he even finished speaking. Not just the freezing kind, but the jagged chipped kind too.

"He's never getting Ines back," I say warningly, glaring at Cross, but glancing at the rest too. They all need to know she's not going back, no matter the cost. "But we'll leave tonight, so none of you will be in any danger."

Tank looks at Cross pointedly, but he's only got eyes for me right now. And I don't like that dark look in them. It never brings anything good. And it's certainly not the look of a guy who'll let me have what I want.

"They've got Ice," Tank says, breaking the tense silence. "That's how they know we have her and they want to exchange him for her. And that's why we're never reckless when we do our job, Rook. It always comes back to bite us in the ass when we are. I remember you warning me about that more than once over the years."

I'm barely even listening to him. That dark, merciless look in Cross' eyes makes perfect sense now. Ice is his woman's brother. And Cross will do anything to get him back again for her. He's already done it once and he'll do it again. Even if it means sacrificing Ines and me. But I'm not gonna sacrifice her. I'll never do that. Not for anyone.

"Then we'll get him out," I say, but I know it sounds ridiculous before it even leaves my mouth.

"Take on the Gentleman's entire narco cartel?" Scar asks and he's the only one in the room who even remotely looks like he might be considering it. He's always been a man of action, and he's the kinda guy who'd do anything to help a lady in distress, even go against our MC President’s orders. In fact, that’s exactly what me and him did back in Chicago almost ten years ago when it was a lady friend of his that needed saving. Cross and Tank helped us that time too.

"I don't think we have the manpower,” he adds, dashing my hopes that I have at least one brother on my side in this. “And we don't have the time. They'll kill Ice if we don't make the exchange fast enough, and then they’ll come here to get her back."

The rest are nodding along to what he's saying.

"What? You don't think we can do it? We'll attack and get him out," I snap. "We're Devil's Nightmare MC for fuck's sake. We can take anyone, anytime."

"But not without heavy losses. Not this one," Cross says. "And I've been trying to steer us away from those kinds of dangerous jobs, as you very well know. Killing off the Spawns is our last job of the kind, as far as I'm concerned."

Even Tank nods to that, though he's been very opposed to Cross' plan to retire the mercenary side of our operations, since he first suggested it.

"Are you telling me to give him Ines back?" I ask Cross pointedly. "Because I'm not doing it."

In all the years we've worked together, I've never gone against a single one of his orders, and the fact that I'm threatening to do it for the first time now isn't lost on him. At least his dark look isn't as merciless anymore.

"How the hell do I know what she means to you, Rook?" he says. "In the ten years I've known you, I haven't seen you bring the same woman home twice, and now you want us to fight the biggest Mexican cartel for a chick you just met? I don't think Roxie can face losing her brother again. And I sure as hell won't let that happen when I can prevent it. I promise you that."

His promise sounds more like a threat. But his way of thinking makes perfect sense too. I see his point. I'd agree with it, if it wasn't my Ines we're talking about. I guess it's time to tell them the whole story.

"She's not some chick I just met," I say while I still have some control over the rage starting to boil in my veins in the face of all this fucking unfairness. "Ten years ago I was gonna marry her. But then the Gentleman stole her away from me and kept her locked up. He tortured and raped her for years. But I have her back now, and I'm gonna marry her this time, and he'll never have her again. I should've killed him when I had the chance."

I didn’t tell Cross the whole story when I returned from Mexico, since he didn’t pry into it, and took me at my word that she needed saving. So the surprised looks on all their faces now is dangerously close to pity. I turn my back on them and go pour myself a drink, so I don't have to look at it. They're all still not talking, still looking at me by the time I finish my first glass.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if you cleared it with me first, Rook, before you just grabbed her," Cross says.

The rest nod, but what the fuck do they know?

"There was no time for that, it was do or die. And she would've been the dead one," I say, the shock of imagining it hitting me harder than I expected after the amount of death I've seen. But this is Ines, she's special, different in every way from everyone else, and I'm half a man without her.

Cross looks at me for a full minute without speaking, until I'm sure I'm not gonna like what he has to say.

"Devil's Nightmare is behind you, Rook," he finally says. "We'll get it done without risking her. I don't forget the many times you fought by my side and at my orders, and I don't forget the bullet you took that was meant for me. But she'll have to tell us everything she knows about the Gentleman, and she'll have to do it right now."

I nod, relief rushing through me like a wide, snowmelt fueled river.

"She'll help," I assure them.

"Hawk will ask the questions to find out what we need to know," Cross says, while Hawk nods along. "But you better be there too."

"Yeah, she'll tell us everything we need to know," I say. "He didn't keep secrets from her, since he didn't think she'd ever escape."

"That'll help," Cross says looking at all of us in turn before his eyes settle on me again. "But just so we're all clear. Roxie will never forgive any of us if Ice dies, so we better not fuck this up."

Those are harsh words, but probably not far from the truth. She might forgive, but she won't forget, and I'll always be the guy who lured him to his death. I don't want that on my conscience. But I might have to live with it nonetheless.

"Alright, I'll go talk to Ines and tell her what we need," I say and deposit my empty glass on the bar. "Give me ten minutes then come up, Hawk."

He nods. "Probably for the best that way. But make sure she understands I'll need to know everything that she knows, and it could take awhile."

"And not a word about this to Roxie," Cross says as I'm already heading out of the room. "She's pregnant with my son and isn't supposed to get too excited."

The death of their unborn child on my conscience is not something I could live with. But it's too early in the day to worry about that outcome. Right now, it all still looks like we'll work it out. I've never been one to give up until the bitter end, so I won't start now.

* * *

Ines

"What's wrong?" I ask as soon as he walks into the room.

After he disappeared into the office, I went straight upstairs, my legs heavier than boulders, and my heart beating fast, but distant like it's buried somewhere very deep in my chest. I knew something was wrong the moment he was summoned to the meeting, I felt it be wrong. Once I reached our room, I sat down on the edge of the bed where I'm still sitting now, my whole body as heavy as my legs were before. I don't know if I can stand up, so I don't try. I know this paralyzing fear, I felt it before and often in the first few years I was Silvio's prisoner, before I accepted my fate. It got better after that.

Rook doesn't reply, just looks at me, and I can see clearly that he's trying to find the right words to tell me in a way that won't shock me too badly. His eyes always narrow when he does that, become slits until I can hardly see the blue. I wish he'd just tell me. I already know it's bad. But I won't urge him to, because I already know it's bad and maybe I don't really want to hear it.

He comes over and sits next to me, takes my hand and closes both of his around it. "The Gentleman has Ice. He wants to exchange him for you. But don't worry, we'll fix it and get him back. You're still perfectly safe here."

It's worse than I imagined. Always so twisted this bad luck, this curse of mine, so vile and inescapable. I've never been happier than these last two weeks with Rook. I've never been happier than during the six months we spent together ten years ago. Is that all we get? A few moments together in an otherwise dark and cold lifetime? Is this really all there is for us? Why?

The whole room is shaking before my eyes now, but I'm heavier than a mountain, rooted in place in the middle of it all.

How can I let that poor man die for me? He saved me. How can I do that to his sweet sister who is so very worried about him? How can I send Rook and his friends to their deaths, which is what will happen for sure if they try to fight Silvio?

I'm cursed and I won't let anyone else get hurt because of it. My father already paid for it with his life, but I won't let anyone else die.

"I'll go back to him," I hear myself say. It's already the Ines that Silvio made talking, not the real me. But she's saying the only sensible thing.

Rook shook when I said it, and I can feel him looking at me now, but I can't meet his eyes. It's too hard. This decision is too hard. But I have to make it. There's no freedom for me. No joy, no love. Only what freedom and life I can offer others by sacrificing myself.

"No, Ines," Rook says. "How can you even suggest that? You're staying right here where it's safe, and I'll go get Ice and kill the Gentleman while I'm at it, so he'll stop causing shit."

He talks like he can do it, but he'll just get killed. They'll all just get killed. Silvio has hundreds of men, a whole army willing to fight and die for him. Rook and his friends will never even get close. Ice will die, then the rest of them will die too. I can't allow it.

I turn to look at him, feeling almost nothing right now, although a part of me is crying, screaming, ranting and raving that this can't be happening. That this can't be the end of the life I've wished so very much for. The life I dared believe could finally be mine But that voice is very distant. There's only one way out of this.

"You can't beat Silvio. He's too powerful and he wants me back. He'll do anything to get me back. He'll free your friend in exchange for me. So I'll go. Because there's no other way, Rook. This is the only way or we all die."

He shakes his head, smiling that dark, wry smile he gets when I've stepped on his last nerve and he has no patience left.

"Just like that, Ines?" he asks sarcastically. "Just like that you're gonna leave me again? Can you really do it so easily? Or did you want to go back to him all along? Did I just interrupt some sick game you two like to play when I rescued you?"

The way he says "rescued" sounds like he no longer believes that's what he did. All his words, his hard accusatory questions felt like he was throwing rocks at me, and my body hurts, physically hurts.

I try to grab hold of his hand again, since he let go of mine while he was talking. But he shakes his head in disgust and snatches his hand away, gets up and steps away from me.

"That's not how it is, Rook, please, you have to believe me," I say. "I love you so much. I can't let anything happen to you. This is the only way. Silvio will never stop coming after me until I'm his. And he'll hurt anyone who stands in his way. He'll hurt you most of all."

"Lies, Ines, more lies. It was all lies with you all along," he says. "You want to go back to him. You probably wanted to go back to him all that time we spent together in Cabo del Sol. It's the only fucking logical explanation to the whole thing. And I'm an idiot for believing your bullshit lies again. You're not just a witch, you're a goddam demon!"

Tears are stirring in my chest at hearing him say it. All the anger at me he must've felt these last ten years is pelting me, chipping and cracking the shields I've put around myself. He never let me go, never stopped loving me, but he didn't remember me fondly. I only survived because I had his love to remember. I know he loves me, but will there be any of it left once I do this?

"I love you, Rook," I say. "I've never loved another, and I never will. But we can't be. It's not meant for us. I have to go back where I belong."

I know I chose the wrong word when I see him wince. "Belong, Ines?"

English fails me when I'm upset. But maybe it's for the best this time. He has to let me go, and I have to help him do it.

"It's the only way, Rook, you know it is," I say, but everything in his face tells me he doesn't, that he hates me right now as much as he ever loved me.

A knock on the door stops him from saying anything more. He swings it open so fast it crashes against the wall, white dust falling like ashes from a dent it made. Like the ashes which are all that's left of the dream of spending the rest of our lives together.

The tall blond man who knocked is looking at Rook with a part confused, part wary look on his face. "Is this a bad time? Should I come back?"

"No need," Rook says, giving me another dark look over his shoulder. "She wants to be traded, so our job just got a whole lot easier."

The guy looks at me then back at him. "I'll ask my questions anyway, if that's alright. Better to know more than less."

Rook shrugs. "Do what you want."

Then he exits the room, jostling the other guy out the way because he didn't move fast enough.

I want to run after him. Tell him he has it all wrong. Tell him I'd rather die than ever even think of Silvio again. Make him believe nothing I told him was ever a lie. But I'll die anyway if anything happens to Rook. So it might as well just be me.