CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Cassandra
OUR EMERGENCY HEARING was set for the following Friday and every day leading up to it was spent asking our lawyer questions. Every day, I came up with another reason to call Garret and clarify something about our case. He was patient with me and answered all my questions, never once making me feel like a nuisance.
James was doing okay since the fair, but I noticed that he was jumpy and would look at people strangely. He wasn’t the carefree kid he had once been, but then I hadn’t expected him to feel normal after what happened to him. Ryan insisted on being the one to drop him off at school and even though I was feeling like a protective mama bear and wanted to be with him, I knew that this was something Ryan needed.
Since Ryan came into our lives, I found myself slowly allowing him to take the reins where he felt he needed to. He was more protective of James than ever and instead of being upset that he was taking over, I reminded myself how lucky I was to have such a caring husband.
The first day James went back to school, Ryan walked him into the building, not wanting to let James out of his sight. Then he went and talked with the principal about the security at the school. He even went so far as to suggest that they hire security guards. Eventually, he backed down and went into work, but he told me that night that he had been tempted to walk around school with James all day. I laughed at him and told him he was going a bit far. I played it cool on the outside, but inside I was terrified. With Ryan acting like the helicopter parent, one of us had to be rational.
When Ryan called me that day at the fair and told me that James had almost been taken, I almost passed out. The one thing Michael did right that day was keep me upright and sane until I could see James for myself. We were on the other side of the park looking for James, so we had to run through the crowds of people to get to the parking lot and then to the street where we saw the white van.
I could see from a distance that Ryan was gripping James as if he would disappear if he let go. When I finally had James in my arms, it took everything in me not to break down. I knew that if I started crying it would only make things worse. Michael stood next to me uncomfortable and unable to show even the slightest bit of remorse for not watching his son. I was so happy when Sean told him to walk away.
As the week went on, I found myself calming down and feeling like things would get back to normal for us. I even had hope that we would regain custody of James. Tomorrow was the big day and I was having a hard time relaxing, but Ryan was the real basket case. He was still hyped up over what had happened.
“How can you just sit there? I’m still scared as shit about what happened. You’ve been so calm all week.”
He was pacing around our room at ten-thirty at night. He had been unable to sleep well all week and was constantly going to check on James.
“Ryan, you’ll get used to it. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m still freaking out inside.”
“Then why don’t you show it?”
I held out my hand to Ryan and when he took it, I pulled him down to sit on the bed with me.
“You know, the first year of James’s life, I was scared of everything. I worried that he would suffocate in his sleep or choke on his food. When he fell for the first time, I took him to the emergency room. He had a bump on his knee. The whole ER staff looked at me like I was crazy.”
“So, how did you get past all that and turn out so normal?”
“It comes with time. You learn to put away the fear until you know there’s something to freak out about. When James was two, I took him to the mall with me and I was looking at a sweater. I turned my back for just a few seconds and he was gone. I went one way looking for him, but he had gone in a different direction. By the time I found him, he was at the other end of the mall.”
“How did you find him?”
“I calmly asked some security guards for help. People started pointing me in the direction of the toddler that had wandered off. I’m sure the guard was looking at me strangely because I wasn’t freaking out over losing a child, but I just knew that if I lost it, I wouldn’t be able to find him. It doesn’t do any good to panic, so you stay calm and use your head until there’s something to worry about. Like you did.”
“Like I did? I was a mess. I thought I was going to puke when I saw him being dragged away.”
“But you didn’t panic. You went after him and didn’t stop until you had him back. It’s okay to let the fear in. Sometimes that’s what motivates you, but you still held it together. You’re a good parent, Ryan.”
He put his head in his hands and sighed. “I just feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t stop checking on him and making sure that someone didn’t crawl in through his window and take him.”
“That’ll pass. When I feel the urge to go check on him, I allow myself to do it once and then the next time, I make myself wait an additional half hour and I keep doing that until I’ve cut out a few of those urges. Eventually, it goes away. You won’t always feel like this.”
“James is so lucky to have such a calm, level headed mother.”
I smiled at the compliment. He had no idea how much I needed to hear that. “Thank you.”
“I love you, Cassie. I don’t ever want to know what it would be like to lose either of you.”
“You won’t. We’re not going anywhere.”
He kissed me and pushed me back onto the bed. Trailing his hands down my body, he pleasured me and loved me until I screamed his name. When he finally pushed inside me, stars exploded behind my eyes at the intensity of it all. He loved me long and hard that night and showed me with every thrust how much he needed me. He never took his eyes from mine and when he came he crushed his mouth to mine in a deep, soulful kiss.
“I love you, Cassie girl.”
“I love you, too.”
I fell asleep with him partially on top of me, our bodies still tangled in sweat and stickiness.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Your Honor, Mr. Scott has admitted to my client that the only interest he has in James is to keep his wife happy. If he has no intention of getting to know his son, it is unfair of the court to keep James away from the parents that truly want him everyday. The complete lack of regard that Mr. Scott showed for his son’s safety and then lack of remorse over the whole situation proves that he is not ready to be a responsible parent. In light of what occurred last Saturday, we ask that full custody be given to Mr. Jackson and Mrs. Jackson.”
“Mr. Scott, do you have anything to add?” The judge asked.
“Your Honor,” Michael’s lawyer stood and buttoned his suit jacket. “Any parent can easily have a child disappear on them. Thousands of parents will tell you that all you have to do is turn your back for a second. As for the recording, there is no way to verify that those voices are my client and Mrs. Jackson.”
“Are you telling me that isn’t your clients voice?” the judge pushed.
“I’m saying that we’d like to have an expert verify the voices to be sure-”
“This is not a criminal investigation. This is a hearing to see where James should be placed, to make sure he is in a home where he is properly cared for. Now, I gave your client a chance to prove himself, but I am sorry to say that I am disappointed. A child can most definitely disappear, but according to police reports, James was already at the back of the parking lot. That’s an awful lot of time for him to have been ignoring him. Furthermore, your client has shown no signs of actually wanting his son. I’m inclined to agree with that recording. I will allow Michael to have supervised visits once again with a social worker present, but until your client can prove that he really does want to be a part of his son’s life, I’m afraid that’s all the leeway I can allow.”
I didn’t want to believe it. Could it be that we finally had custody of our son? Was this truly over? It had only been something we’d dealt with for six months, but it felt like it had been years. A calm came over me when the judge dismissed the hearing. I closed my eyes and relished in the knowledge that my son would be at home with us every night.
“Congratulations to both of you. I can honestly say that I’ve never been so happy to win a case.”
Garret shook my hand and then Ryan’s and then packed up his briefcase.
“I don’t know how to thank you, Garret. If you ever need something, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“I may take you up on that offer some day. I hope that I never have to see you in a court room again. Say hello to James for me.”
He walked away and still I sat there feeling completely at ease. I should have been up jumping around, but instead, I was taking it all in.
“Cassie girl, what do you say we go get our son and bring him home?”
“That sounds wonderful. Maybe we could stop for pizza.”
“I like the way you think, Mrs. Jackson.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Once the school year ended, James started spending time with Ryan at work. He didn’t always want to go to his grandparents’ house, so some weeks he would stay home with us and go into work with Ryan, but only if Ryan’s week was light. Ryan showed him all that he did at work and when Ryan had calls to return or meetings, James would read in his office. On weeks that Ryan had a hefty schedule, James would spend the week at my parents’ house. Dad would teach him more about woodworking or they would play card games.
Ryan and I were enjoying our weeks together when James was gone. Since we were doing everything backwards, it was nice to have some alone time where we could be in a sort of honeymoon phase of our relationship. It surprised me when Ryan started talking to me about the wedding. He had left all the details up to me, but one night when James was gone, he brought up the subject of our honeymoon.
“I have an idea for us for our honeymoon.”
“Really? I thought you didn’t care about the wedding details?”
“Well, the man is supposed to handle the honeymoon and since I didn’t even try to give you one the first time around, I want to make sure you have one now.”
“Ryan, that’s really sweet, but I don’t need one. Besides, I’m not sure I could leave James for that long. It’s one thing when he’s with my parents and I can easily go get him. It’s another thing to be halfway around the world.”
“I know, which is why I booked us all a trip to Alnwick Castle for the day after the wedding.”
I sat there dumbfounded for a minute. “You did what?”
“I booked us a trip to Alnwick Castle. It’s in Northumberland and it’s where they filmed Harry Potter.”
“Let me get this straight. You booked a honeymoon for us at Harry Potter’s castle?”
“Well, we aren’t going to sleep there, believe me, I looked into it. But I thought James would love it. It’s the first series we read together.”
“You’re taking us to the UK to visit Harry Potter. On our honeymoon.”
He started to look nervous and only then did I realize that my dumbstruck attitude over how sweet this man was, was coming off as being pissed over his plans. I walked over to him and gripped his face in my hands, planting a scorching kiss on his lips.
“Do you realize how much I love you right now?”
“Uh..”
I didn’t give him a moment to respond. I dropped to my knees and yanked his pants down, almost pulling him to the floor in the process.
“Cassie,” he groaned as I took his burgeoning erection in my hand. I started stroking him and cupping his balls. Something took over me and I needed him in my mouth. I had always liked pleasing a man, but I never truly wanted to please a man until Ryan told me our honeymoon plans. I felt a strong desire to have him fill my mouth with his thick cock, so I leaned forward and swallowed his erection. He moaned and twitched sending him farther into my mouth.
I moaned to send vibrations around his cock which caused him to start jerking in and out of me in frantic thrusts. With every stroke, I sucked him harder and harder until he was hissing and gripping my hair painfully. I swirled and licked until he was jerking inside my mouth. I tasted his salty cum in the back of my throat and sucked harder until I had every last drop of him. He slowly released my hair and pulled me up off my knees.
“If I promise to take you on a honeymoon every year, will you suck me off just like that once a month?”
“Ryan, you’ll get it more than once a month if you keep talking dirty to me.”
He looked at me funny. “When did I talk dirty?”
“Our versions of dirty talk may be slightly different. You including our son in your plans makes me want to suck you, ride you, and let you have your way with me more than I’ve ever wanted in all my life.”
His eyes turned molten as he tipped his imaginary cowboy hat at me.
“Giddyup, Cowgirl.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Ryan’s parents were due in any minute and I was so nervous about meeting them. I couldn’t imagine it would be more difficult than when Ryan met my parents and we sprang on them we were going to get married. Steven and Sandra were so excited when we invited them up that they decided to stay with us for three weeks.
Part of me was thrilled that we would get that time with them, but the other part of me was nervous that we would get sick of each other. James wanted to go to the airport with Ryan, so I stayed home and worked on getting dinner ready. My parents would be coming over to meet them tomorrow night, so I was trying to keep tonight’s dinner low key.
I was pulling a casserole out of the oven when the door opened and Ryan yelled they were home. I was so nervous that I fumbled the dish and it fell to the floor, shattering in little pieces and spreading the food all over the floor.
“Shit,” I muttered as I got down with a rag and started wiping the food into one collective puddle. Two shoes appeared right in front of me, startling me. I looked up quickly and found my face buried in the front of a man’s crotch. I quickly pulled back, knowing it was not my husband’s and promptly fell into the goop that was all over the floor.
“Sorry about that, darlin’. I was just leaning over the counter to grab a towel to help. I swear I didn’t mean to, you know, put my crotch in your face.”
Steven, Ryan’s father, seemed so calm about the whole thing, but I was mortified. I knew my cheeks were flushed and I refused to look at him.
“I’m so sorry. This was not how I intended on meeting my in-laws.”
“Cassie girl, I thought we talked about you listening to music when you were cooking,” Ryan teased. He stepped around the worst of it and picked me up off the floor. He was about to set me on the counter when I protested.
“No! I have food all over my butt. Can you take me to the bathroom to clean up?”
After I shed my clothes and fixed myself up, I looked in the mirror and shook my head. Ryan met my parents and they immediately swooned over him. I met his parents and stuck my face in his dad’s crotch after I spilled dinner all over the floor. I was making a terrible first impression. Putting a smile on my face, I walked out to meet his parents properly.
Everyone was sitting in the living room talking. The adults all had beverages, so I couldn’t delay any longer and escape to the kitchen.
“Cassie, let me introduce you to my parents. This is my mom, Sandra and my dad, Steven.”
I shook their hands as I smiled. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Ryan has told me all about you.”
“Yes, well he’s told us all about you too and I have to say, he wasn’t exaggerating. You really are quite beautiful,” his mother gushed.
“Thank you.” I glanced at Ryan who was staring at me like I was a piece of cake that he wanted to eat. I flushed and dropped my head so his parents wouldn’t see how much I wanted him after hearing that.
“Ryan told us that it took him a year and a half of chasing you for you to finally give him a chance,” his dad said with a smile.
“Well, I didn’t mean to drag him along for so long. It’s just that circumstances, the way they were..”
Steven held up his hand. “No need to explain. We’re well aware of the situation, but Ryan also told us that you two are quite enamored with each other. I’m glad to hear that he found someone to be with. We were beginning to think we wouldn’t have any grandchildren. Yet, here we are and we already have one. James seems like a great kid.”
“Thank you. He was very excited to meet both of you. Where is he, by the way?”
“He went upstairs to get his paintball stuff to show off.”
“Mom!” James came running into the room. “Steven’s going to go paint balling with us while he’s here!”
“Really?” I looked at Steven, who just smiled warmly at James.
“I can’t guarantee that I can keep up with you young guys, but I can try. I used to hunt thought, so I’m still a pretty good shot.”
James’s eyes grew wide. “Can you teach me?”
“Sure. We can go out back for some target practice, but Ryan told me that you already took out the other team the last time you played.”
“That’s only because I was hiding in a tree. They didn’t see me.”
“Well, you don’t catch a deer by walking up to it and shaking it’s hoof,” Steven laughed.
“So, your parents will be coming over tomorrow for dinner?” Sandra asked.
“Yes. They’re very excited to meet you. I think if it weren’t for James, they would have moved down south a long time ago. I think they’re ready to pick your brain about the best locations to live.”
“Well, we’ve travelled around the south quite a bit in the last five years. We’d be happy to make recommendations.”
The rest of the night was uneventful and we had a great time. The night with my parents also went well, though I could have done without my mom trying to compliment Sandra on having such a fine specimen for a son. Ryan’s parents stayed for three weeks and watched James while Ryan and I were at work. My parents came over several times to find out more about the south, though I didn’t really think they would ever move away from James.
Steven spent time with James, teaching him about hunting and Sandra spoiled him with baked goods. Ryan told me that his sister also had two kids, but they lived in California and his brother was a confirmed bachelor. It was easiest for them to come back here to visit since they already knew the area and they were excited that they now had a grandchild to come visit. James seemed to feel the same. When they left, we promised to go visit them in Florida next Christmas so we could get away from the cold.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Holy shit!” Lillian screamed.
“I know. I’m freaking out a little.”
“Did you take the test yet?”
“No. I came over here because if it’s positive, I didn’t want Ryan to find out until after the wedding. I mean, it’s two weeks. I can wait two weeks to tell him.”
“Are you sure? I couldn’t wait that long.” Lillian was pacing back and forth in her living room as I sat on her couch holding a pregnancy test.
“I don’t want our wedding to be about anything other than us.”
“Well, in that case, you should wait until you get back from the honeymoon.”
“Why?”
“Do you really think he’s going to let you climb castle stairs in ‘your condition’? Men are weird like that. He’ll probably say that you can’t fly either.”
“I don’t think Ryan would be like that. Do you?”
Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. Ryan was very protective, especially of James and I had no doubt he would be the same for his own son. Lillian stopped pacing and stared at me.
“Really? Sean doesn’t let me carry a bag that weighs over five pounds because he’s afraid I’ll strain something. He also doesn’t like it when I’m in a bar because alcohol is around.”
“But you don’t drink alcohol.”
“I know.” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “I don’t know, maybe he thinks someone will pour a bottle of beer down my throat or something.”
“So, what do I do then?”
“I would wait as long as you can. As long as you’re not showing symptoms, I would wait.”
“But what if something happened? You know, I think it’s something like twenty percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first twelve weeks.”
“It’s closer to thirty. You have a point though. If something were to happen, he would be pissed that you didn’t tell him.”
“Great. Well, this sucks. I don’t know what to do now.”
She sat down next to me and nodded. “You should tell him on your wedding night. That way you can keep the surprise, but he knows for the honeymoon. Besides, what if you start having morning sickness? It’s not that easy to hide.”
“Yeah. I think that’s what I’ll do. Alright. Now I just have to take the test and confirm it.”
I got up and went to the bathroom. After peeing on a stick for the second time in my life, I opened the door and waited with Lillian for the three minutes. I didn’t need three minutes, though. It started to change immediately and just as I suspected, it was positive.
Lillian started jumping up and down and squealing. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! You’re gonna have a baby! Our kids are going to play together! This is so exciting!”
Everything was coming out as a scream, which wasn’t at all like Lillian. She was usually so calm and put together.
“Lil, who’s having a baby?” Sean’s voice boomed from the other room and Lillian slapped a hand over her mouth. “Is that Cassie’s car out front?”
“Shit. So much for sneaking out the window.”
“We can make something up. I’ll say I was talking about myself.”
“Lillian, you already said that our kids were going to play together. I don’t think he’ll buy that,” I whisper hissed.
Sean’s footsteps echoed down the hallways and his bulky frame appeared behind her before I could think of shutting the door. I saw his eyes move to the counter and then to my stomach. Lillian’s eyes were wide as she held a hand over her mouth. She slowly reached down like she could quickly move the test before he saw.
“Too late, Lillian. He already knows.”
“Son of monkey’s uncle. I’m so sorry, Cassie. Sean won’t say a word. Right, Sean?” She whirled around and pointed a finger at him.
“Why am I not saying anything? You’re keeping it right?” He narrowed his eyes at me and crossed his arms over his chest. It was so cute when these men thought they could be intimidating.
“Yes, I’m keeping it. I just wanted to surprise Ryan on our wedding night.”
“You might want to rethink that.”
“Why?” I asked. “It seemed like the perfect time to tell him.”
“In your mind, yes. You think it’s going to be all romantic and you’ll make love and everything will be special. In reality, he’s thinking about how much he wants to fuck you and then you tell him you’re knocked up. Suddenly, he’s thinking about finances-”
“He’s loaded.” Lillian cut in.
“And shitty diapers-”
“Right. I’d like to see a man willingly change a diaper,” Lillian snorted.
“And midnight feedings-”
“Last I checked, Ryan doesn’t have boobs or the ability to produce milk.”
“Circumcision.”
“Only if it’s a boy.”
“Still, nothing kills the mood like the threat of having your dick sliced.”
“The baby wouldn’t even remember it.”
“College tuition-”
“Which is twenty years away.”
“Look, while this whole little fight you two have going is really cute, I’ve got to get going. Promise me you won’t say a word.”
“I swear. So does he.” Lillian jerked her thumb toward Sean.
“Good. And I will rethink telling him on the wedding night. Maybe I’ll save it for the next morning.”
“That would be better,” Sean grinned. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you. Okay. Well, now I just have to go home and pretend everything is normal for the next two weeks!”
“Piece of cake,” Lillian shouted as I walked to my car.