CHAPTER TWO
Cassandra
TWO DAYS EARLIER....
I paced around my cramped apartment as I waited for Michael, James’s father to show. He had contacted me out of the blue a few weeks ago saying that he wanted to get to know James. I had been hesitant because when James was born, he didn’t want anything to do with him.
Michael and I met right before he was going off to basic training. He was in love with the military and felt that a family would get in the way. I sent him pictures of James as he got older, but Michael never responded. Now, all the sudden, he wanted to meet and I had a bad feeling.
I sent Michael to my parents’ house for the day because I needed to talk with Michael before James met him. I didn’t know if this was a passing amusement for him or if he really wanted a relationship with him.
The buzzer sounded and I looked around the small space one last time to be sure it was presentable. I walked over and pressed the call button after taking a few deep breaths.
“Hello?”
“Cassandra, it’s Michael.”
“Come on up.” I buzzed him in and then fidgeted with the locks for a few minutes as I tried to calm my racing heart. When he knocked, I jumped slightly. The pressure was mounting and I needed to calm down or he would think I was a basket case.
I opened the door to see Michael standing in front of me in a wool pea coat and trousers looking even better than the day he left. He was tall and had dirty blonde hair and light blue eyes. I had always felt I would get lost in his eyes if I looked too long. He had put on quite a bit of muscle and his face was still just as handsome. However, the woman hanging off his arm was definitely something new.
She was a skinny little thing, dressed immaculately in a green dress that perfectly matched the color of her eyes and nude heels. Her hair was in a fancy chignon with not a hair out of place.
I found myself stupidly running my hand over my own messy hair that I hadn’t had time to do today. Normally, I was more put together than this, but James had been a pain to get going this morning and then I had the one hour drive out to my parents’ house. I just barely made it home before our scheduled time.
I stepped to the side after I finished gawking and waved my arm for them to come in.
“Michael, I didn’t know you would be bringing along a friend.”
“This is my wife, Alisha. She really wanted to meet James.”
“James isn’t here,” I said with a little too much force.
“I thought that was the whole purpose of this visit?” he asked.
“Michael, you have never shown any interest in my son-”
“Our son,” he interjected.
“You’ve never shown any interest in him before. What made you think you would just show up and meet him without talking to me first? Or that you could bring your wife along for the first meeting? He doesn’t even know who you are.”
“You’ve never told him about me?”
“Yes, I did when he was younger, but when it became clear that you had no interest in getting to know him, I stopped talking about you. I didn’t want him thinking that you would be coming around some day.”
“Well, I did and I want to meet him.”
“Why now?”
“I’m out of the military. I’m looking to settle down.”
I nodded. “So now that the military is out of the way, you have time for your son.”
“If I may interrupt,” the prissy little wife continued without waiting for a response. “I would love to meet James. When Michael told me about him, I insisted that he should form a relationship with him.”
My heart softened toward the woman and hardened toward Michael. “So, your wife had to convince you it was important to meet your son?”
“No, we talked about it for a while and I realized that it would never get any easier to walk back into his life. I know that I screwed up before, but now I’ve come to my senses and I want to be a part of his life.”
“For how long? Are you planning on going to baseball games and parent teacher conferences? How about taking him to dentist appointments?”
“Jesus. I just want to meet the little guy,” he said, running a hand over his face.
“The ‘little guy’ is ten now and wouldn’t appreciate you calling him that. Before I let you into his life, I need to know how much time you plan on spending with him. He’s used to his life being just the two of us and I won’t have you changing that if you’re not planning on being a full time dad.”
Alisha stepped forward and put a hand on my arm, but removed it when I narrowed my eyes at her.
“We plan on being very involved in his life. We would like to be a part of his life in a more..permanent way.”
“A more permanent way?” I repeated.
“We would like to have him come stay with us a few times a week. Maybe we could work out for him to stay with us half the time. I’m sure you would appreciate the break after all the time you’ve spent doing it alone.”
My heart started to pound in my chest. They weren’t talking about meeting, they were talking about custody arrangements. She didn’t even have to say it. I could see from the look on her face, that was their plan.
“I don’t need a break from my son. I love him very much and have been raising him myself for the past ten years.”
“Listen, Cassandra. I didn’t want to bring this up, but you leave me no choice.” Michael had always been quick to anger when things didn’t go his way. I could see that he hadn’t been expecting me to put up such a fight. Perhaps that I would even fall to his feet and thank him for coming back for James. “I’m his father and I have every right to see him. If I have to, I’ll take you to court and get custody of my son and I’ll win. Alisha and I have a lot of money and a nice home.” He looked around my tiny apartment in disgust. “It wouldn’t take much to convince a judge that we could provide more for him.”
I walked to the door and opened it. “If you feel that’s necessary, be my guest, but just remember that you’ll also be paying back child support along with whatever the judge deems appropriate for current support. I think it’s time you leave.”
He was fuming now and his face had taken on a nasty red hue. “My lawyer will be in touch.” He grabbed Alisha’s hand and pulled her along behind him.
“It was lovely to meet you Cassandra,” Alisha said as she left the apartment. I slammed the door and paced around my apartment, trying to figure out what my next step would be. My parents didn’t have the money for a legal battle and neither did I. I made a decent living and kept us in this apartment because it was financially beneficial to us. I taught James that we would never live above our means, so we stayed here. I had put away a good chunk of money in savings and in a college savings account for him, neither of which I wanted to touch. While it was a good chunk of savings for me, it would wipe me out if he took me to court.
I checked my watch and saw that I needed to head over to my parents’ house if I was going to beat the traffic. I grabbed my jacket and purse and headed downstairs.
“Cassandra!” I turned from my car door to see Ryan Jackson headed toward me. He looked absolutely mouth watering in a dark grey suit and white shirt that was left unbuttoned. He must have been coming from the office. As he ran toward me, I could see his muscles moving under his suit jacket. He was lean, but his arm muscles showed through his suit. I had dreamt for over a year of something happening between us, but I had never allowed it because I was scared what that would mean for James. He was the sexiest man I’d ever met and the only one that had ever made me want to consider a relationship.
I tried to smile as he jogged over to me, but it fell short. I was still too frazzled from my encounter with Michael. “Ryan, I’m sorry, but I have to run. I have to go pick up..”
I trailed off because I had never mentioned my son to him before. Ryan had no idea that the reason I avoided men was because of my son.
“You have to go pick up what?”
“Nothing. I just need to leave right now.”
I tried to get the car door open, but my hands were shaking so bad that it took me three tries to get it open.
“I don’t think so. You’re in no condition to drive.”
He placed his hand over mine and gazed at me in concern. I tried to avoid his eyes, knowing he would see that I was on the verge of tears.
“I have to. I need..”
“Yeah, I know. You need to pick something up, but honestly, what could be so important that you have to go when you’re a wreck?”
“My son,” I whispered.
“Your what?”
“My son.” The enormity of the situation was finally creeping in and I started to cry. Not little cute tears, but fat, ugly tears that no doubt had my mascara running down my face, making me look like a deranged clown.
“You have a son.” I nodded. “Okay, well I’m pretty sure that driving right now is not a good idea. How about we go upstairs and you tell me what’s wrong?”
He guided me to the door and I willingly followed. For once in my life, it was nice to let someone else take control. I was always the one to make every decision and since he would be leaving once I told him my situation, I let him take over for these few minutes.
When we got upstairs, he led me over to the couch and I waited for him to freak out. He had never been in my apartment before and it was obvious that I lived with a child. He took it all in and then came over to me.
“How old is your son?”
“Ten.”
“Is he hurt? Is that why you need to get to him?”
I shook my head. He ran his hand over his mouth and looked questioningly at me.
“Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
I laughed. “Believe me, you don’t want to know what’s wrong.” I wiped at the mascara that was running down my face and then wiped my hands on a towel that had yet to be folded in the pile of my couch.
Ryan grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I want to know.”
I took a deep breath and looked back at him through watery lashes.
“My son’s father stopped by today after ten years and basically demanded that he be given rights to his son or he would take me to court. Apparently, he and his new wife have a lot of money and made it clear that they would take me to court if I didn’t give them time with James.”
“Can you fight it? I mean, am I wrong to assume that he hasn’t been a part of his life at all?”
“No, he hasn’t, but he’s been in the military and I’m sure that would somehow make a judge more lenient toward him.”
“You don’t know that for sure. He still wasn’t a part of his life. Did he pay child support?”
“Never.”
“Well, that’s got to mean something.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t have the money to fight him on this. I could lose full custody of my son to a man that just woke up one morning and decided that he wanted to be a father.”
He was silent, so I sat and stared at the carpet and wondered how my life had gotten so screwed up, so fast. When I looked up at Ryan again, his eyes were staring intently at the wall as if he were thinking hard. When he finally turned to me, he hesitated a second before he spoke.
“What if you were married?”
“What if I was? Do you know someone who’s rich and wants to marry a single mother that comes with future court appearances and a ten year old who will no doubt fight it every step of the way?”
“What about me?”
I looked at him in disbelief. “You want to marry me?”
“Why not?”
I blinked and tried to sort out all the reasons that were running through my brain, starting with the most relevant.
“Um, maybe because we’ve never been on a date before. We’ve never kissed. Who would believe it?”
“We’ve known each other for a year and a half. We’ve been seen multiple times in public together. I’ve taken you out to hang out with my friends. We’ve had dinner together. It’s not like anyone would be able to say we weren’t dating.”
“And what about the fact that you would be saddled with a wife and child that you would be responsible for? Are you ready for custody battles and the financial burden that brings?”
“I do quite well for myself. I may not be a billionaire, but I’ve invested my money well and I have a very profitable business.”
I blinked at that admission and scrambled for more reasons why this wouldn’t work.
“What about James? You would have to spend time with him or it would seem like a fake marriage. That means PTA meetings, conferences, baseball and soccer games. All of those things would be a part of your life from the moment we got married.”
“I could do it. I’m not saying I’ll be great at it, but I’ll try my hardest. It could be fun,” he said with a grin.
“Ryan, I appreciate the offer, but this would take over your life. We would live with you and all our stuff would be spread out over your house. Are you telling me you’d be okay with that?”
“I could learn to live with it. Cassandra, I would do anything for you if it meant I could see you smiling again. You know I’ve been chasing you for a long time now. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I met you. Obviously, I hadn’t considered marriage yet. This would just speed up the process a little. When the custody battle is settled, we can take it from there.”
It was tempting and I couldn’t deny it. I wanted so badly to give in to his idea and say yes. My brain fought with my heart and I didn’t know which to listen to. My brain said this was a bad idea, but my heart said that this could help me keep my son.
“If I agreed to this, I would pay you back for all court costs,” I said hesitantly.
“If you insist.”
“Are you sure this is something you’re okay with? If you decided to back out after we were married, it would make me look very bad, so I need you to be sure about this.”
He didn’t even hesitate as he answered. “I’m sure. Let me help you.”
“Okay.” I didn’t really need any more time to think about it. Ryan was offering me a way to keep my son and I wasn’t so proud that I would turn him down because I wanted to prove my independence.
He smiled and kissed my cheek. “You’ll see. This will all turn out fine.”
I really hoped so. I didn’t know what to do from here. Did we announce our engagement? First, I had to tell James.
“Um, well thanks for stopping by. I need to go get James now and tell him about this.” I waved my hand between the two of us.
“I don’t think we should wait. The sooner the two of you are living with me, the better.”
“What? You want to go get married now?” I let out a nervous giggle. I knew I had agreed to this, but it seemed to be moving awfully fast. He seemed so confident, though.
“I think we should go tell James and then fly to Vegas.”
“Vegas. You want to get married in Vegas?”
“Why not? It’ll be easier and faster than planning a wedding here. Besides, I’m not sure I could take all the wedding planning. I think we need to just bite the bullet and do this.”
“I can’t go off to Vegas without James. I think he needs to be there. Otherwise, it seems like I’m not including him in this big life decision. How would it look to the courts?”
“Alright. Let’s pack, we’ll pick up James, and then fly out.”
Everything was so matter of fact. It was as if he had decided all of this and I should just go along with it. No need to think. No need to plan. Just pack up and go. I could do that. I would need to tell my parents, though. I didn’t want them getting any ideas that this was more than it was.
I went to my room and packed a bag, then to James’s room. I assumed we would only be there for a day or two, so I packed light. When I came out, Ryan looked slightly agitated and I began to wonder if this was a good idea again.
“Ryan, are you absolutely sure about this? It’s a lot to take on.”
He gave me a tight smile and walked to the door. “Of course. Let’s get on the road.”
A big part of me didn’t believe a word he said, but the other part of me didn’t want to care. He was offering me a way to protect my son, and I couldn’t turn my back on the opportunity.
He had just picked up his dry cleaning, so he had a spare suit to bring with. He insisted that he could just put it in my bag. We headed to my parents’ house that was an hour drive and neither of us spoke. Something in the back of my head kept saying that this was a stupid idea and I would just end up getting hurt, but I had done the right thing so far and I was about to go to court for custody of my son.
When we pulled into my parents’ driveway, Ryan let out a long breath.
“Time to meet the in-laws.” He chuckled, but it sounded forced.
“I’m going to tell them the truth. I don’t want either of them to get their hopes up that this will be more.”
“Is that a smart idea? Isn’t it better all around if nobody knows the truth?”
“I won’t lie to them. They’ve always been very supportive of me, so I’m not worried. Besides, it’ll take the pressure off you and make you look like a saint.”
He smirked and we got out of the car. “Then by all means, let’s go meet your parents.”
When my parents answered the door, they were more than a little confused by the man standing next to me. I had never brought a man home to meet them, so this was an obvious shock for them.
“Mom, I brought someone for you to meet. This is Ryan Jackson.”
Ryan held out his hand and my mom stood there with her hand against her chest as if she would have a heart attack. Then her eyes fluttered and a smile spread on her face.
“Mrs. Crawford, it’s lovely to meet you. I can see that Cassandra gets her beauty from you. You have the same beautiful eyes,” Ryan said with a killer smile on his face.
“Oh dear, he is a charmer, and handsome to boot. Call me Jane.” She fanned her face for a moment and I was glad that I wasn’t the only woman in the family that was immediately charmed by the sexy man.
“Mom, Ryan and I need to talk to you and Dad for a minute. Where’s James?”
“He’s in the backyard working on a project with your father.”
“Can you ask Dad to come in for a few minutes?”
She looked between Ryan and I and then headed for the back door. “Of course.”
I looked to Ryan and the charm he put on for my mother was slipping. He really looked like he was rethinking things. I was about to ask him if he was reconsidering, but the back door opened and my father’s voice boomed.
“Cassie girl, where are you?”
“In here, Dad!” I yelled back. Are you sure? I mouthed to Ryan. He gave me a slight nod and then looked to the back where my dad entered.
“Cassie girl, your momma says that you brought a fella home with you.” He looked at Ryan, appraising his suit and gave him a smile. “You must be the lucky guy.” Dad held out his hand to Ryan and they shook hands.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crawford.”
“Call me Cal. It’s nice to meet you too.” He looked back at me. “Your momma said that you need to talk to us? James is finishing up our project. He probably has about fifteen minutes left. Why don’t we sit down.”
He waved toward the couch and we all sat. Mom came into the room with a tray of coffee, cream, and sugar and set it out on the table. Then she sat down and folded her hands in her lap.
“Alright Cassie. What did you need to talk to us about?” Mom said.
“James’s father came by today.” Mom gasped and Dad stiffened. “He stopped by with his new wife and they basically demanded partial custody of James or they threatened to take me to court. Apparently, they have a lot of money and made sure I knew that they could take me to court as many times as necessary.”
“Why now? He hasn’t been a part of his life since the day he was born,” my father said, scratching his chin.
“He just said that he wanted to get to know him, but I got the feeling it was more the wife’s influence.
“Don’t worry, Cassie girl. We’ll figure this out. You know we won’t let him take our boy.” My dad was always on my side no matter what, but I couldn’t ask them to give up their savings, especially since they were both retired.
“That’s what I’m here to talk to you about.” I looked to Ryan one last time. “Ryan is a friend of mine and he’s offered a solution. He thinks we should get married and move in with him. He would be a father figure for James and it could only help our chances of keeping him.”
“What about financially? I don’t mean to pry, son, but going to court isn’t going to be cheap. Are you really willing to take on that burden?” My father questioned.
“I have a construction company that I own with a friend of mine. We do very well for ourselves and I’ve been smart with my money. That’s part of the reason I offered to help Cassandra. I didn’t want her to be worrying about money while she’s dealing with a custody battle,” Ryan said. He reached over and squeezed my hand and that little reassurance helped me breathe easier.
“What’s the other reason?” My mother asked hopefully.
“Well, I’ve been chasing Cassandra for a little over a year now and she’s yet to let me take her on a date. I figure if I marry her, I should be able to get a few out of her,” Ryan chuckled. Mom smiled, but Dad looked wary.
“How long will this arrangement last?” Dad asked.
“Until the custody battle is over. As for if we stay married, that’s something we have to take a day at a time.” Ryan had all the answers and didn’t seem at all flustered by Dad’s questions.
“So, this isn’t at all about love,” Mom said dejectedly.
“Mom, right now I have to focus on James and what’s best for him.”
“And what about when you two divorce? He’ll have a father for a few years and then you’ll disappear? How is that best for James?” Mom said with a bite of anger.
“Better for that to happen than to lose full custody to a man that has never been interested in him.” I snapped. I took a deep breath to calm myself before I continued. “I’m sorry. This has just been a long day. We’re leaving right away and going to Vegas. We want to get married right away so that we’re prepared when Michael comes back.”
“Won’t this look fake to the courts? You run off to Vegas and get married at the same time Michael comes asking for custody?”
“Cassandra and I have know each other for a year and a half. I’ve taken her to meet my friends and we’ve been out to dinner several times. No one could say that we just met,” Ryan said confidently. “As for how it will look, I’m genuinely attracted to your daughter, so I’m sure I can be convincing.”
“Mom?” James called from the back door. I stood up and looked at my parents. “Not a word. This has to stay between us.” I walked to the backdoor and hugged James as he walked through. He squished his face and pushed me slightly away. “Mom, I’m too old for you to hug me all the time.”
“James, there’s someone here I want you to meet.” He followed me into the living room and narrowed his eyes at Ryan. “James, this is my friend, Ryan. Ryan, this is my son, James.”
Ryan stood and walked over to James, squatting down in front of him. “Hey kiddo. It’s good to meet you. Your mom has told me a lot about you.”
That was a total lie, and James was definitely beyond the kiddo stage. I probably should have filled him in a little on James before I introduced them.
“I’m not a kid. I’m ten.” James crossed his arms and stared down Ryan who actually looked like he was sweating. Was it possible he found my son intimidating?
“James, Ryan and I have something to tell you.” James sat down by my parents and narrowed his eyes again at Ryan. “Honey, Ryan and I have decided to get married. We’re-”
“I don’t see a ring,” James said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“That’s because I wanted to let your mother pick out her ring,” Ryan said calmly.
“Ryan is going to take us to Vegas and we’re going to get married there.”
“You’re not even giving my mom a real wedding?” James asked in shock.
“Buddy-” Ryan started.
“I’m not your buddy. I don’t even know you. Don’t think that you’re going to be my father just because you marry my mom.”
Shit. Ryan pulled at the neck of his already unbuttoned shirt as if it was choking him. “James. Can I call you that?”
“That’s my name. What else would you call me?”
Ryan cleared his throat and started over. “James, I know this is all new to you, but I promise I will treat your mother right and I will do everything I can to be a good father figure for you. I know that I don’t automatically have a place in your life and I’m sure I have a lot to learn, but I figure a young man like yourself could help me figure it all out.”
James shrugged and looked away.
“I’m going to take you and your mom to Vegas and we’re going to get married. Then, when we get back, we’ll pack up your stuff and you guys will come live with me.”
“What if I don’t want to live in your house?”
Ryan pretended to think about it. “Well, I suppose I could keep paying the rent on your apartment and you could live there, but I think your mom would miss you. Besides, if you stay there, you’ll have to cook your own meals and do your laundry.”
James scrunched his nose. “Fine, but don’t think I’m going to call you Dad.”
I glanced at Ryan to see a tentative smile on his face. Deciding that it was best to end the conversation there, I turned back to James.
“Why don’t you go pack up your stuff and we’ll get going?” I suggested. James ran off to collect his things and Ryan stood up, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
“Your kid is quite the ball buster.”
“He can be,” I said with a smile.
“Are you two sure you want to do this? We can find another way,” Dad said worriedly.
“My son has to come first and right now, this seems like the best solution.”
My mother didn’t look convinced. “I hope you’re right.”