“ERIC, IT’S EAN MONTGOMERY.”
Calling my realtor was difficult but it needed to be done. Eric understood why I broke the lease on my storefront and even though he only does commercial real estate, he was more than happy to help me find a new place to live.
Dee told me she was leaving because everybody she came in contact with kept inundating her with words of sympathy and stares of pity. I know both. I hate both! But I also know the main reason she left was because she was scared shitless of facing her first Christmas without her husband. When she told me she was going, I tried to reassure her with humor, support, and friendship—while never mentioning I knew the main reason why she was leaving—she didn’t need to be called out, she just needed me to be there for her.
I was surprised Dee actually moved away. But I found I was even more surprised at how I felt after she left. We aren’t together, not in the literal sense, but for some strange reason, knowing she was nearby helped. She has a way of pulling me out of the dark hole I often find myself in, without even realizing she’s doing it. She’s my light! She’s strong and she’s brave. She can raise my spirits with just her thumbs, even when they weigh over a thousand pounds. Her words and actions have given me the ability to move forward. Going to New York turned out to be a great thing and I know this’ll also be a really good thing for me.
Knowing she was on the road was harder than I imagined; I was scared out of my mind for her safety. Needless to say, when I heard my phone ping with a text from her, I was finally able to breathe. And then smile.
In her text, she accidentally blurted out that her mom’s an alcoholic. She panicked and immediately apologized. It was adorable how worried she became about breaking our unwritten rule of divulging too much information. Dee and I have grown even closer since Thanksgiving and she needed to know that although I don’t plan on breaking our rule, I love how comfortable we’ve become with one another and I’m never going to fault her for being herself. So to reassure her, I told her my parents’ and sister’s names. I also called her “Dee” for the first time instead of just using the letter D. She loved the nickname and was instantly relieved, so I’ve been calling her Dee ever since. I also told her I love her. I absolutely do love her but I could never love another woman the way I loved Alyssa. Knowing Dee, I’m sure she took it the way it was intended. At least I hope she did.
I love the witty repartee that flows between us. Sometimes I wish I could hear her voice but I won’t cross that line. There’s something very comforting about only communicating through texts.
The house I’m renting is in Hermosa Beach on a quiet street that runs parallel to the ocean and is within walking distance of both the beach and the commercial part of town. Since the houses are so close to each other, I was pleased to see the one next to mine was vacant. Even though I plan on getting out more and finally start running with Po again, I’m still not ready to socialize or make new friends.
The move was hard. I didn’t tell a soul. I wanted to do it on my own; no, I needed to do it on my own. I only took what I needed to survive; a few memories and some important documents. I was in and out in record time. My house is not a home without them in it and the silence was so loud it was deafening.
I still can’t bring myself to sell it. As unrealistic and insane as it sounds, Dee and I are both still holding out the hope that this whole thing is just one big, horrifying nightmare. I didn’t cry when I packed up because I didn’t let myself feel. I knew if I did, I’d completely break down and would probably never leave. I’ve come too far to go back. I’m finally in a place where the pain in my heart doesn’t make taking a breath an impossible task and it’s for that reason I won’t ever go back.
I just had dinner in my backyard and I’m staring into my garage, thinking about Dee and the furniture I just built for her. I’m proud of myself for taking this step. Dee used every distraction under the sun to take my mind off the significance of what I was doing. I indulged her partly because she also needed a distraction. She’s been miserable living with her mother. The other reason I indulged her was because I needed the distraction. I buried my passion when I buried my family. I didn’t want to ever design and build furniture again but Dee was absolutely right. I did miss it. My mind missed being creative, my hands missed the feeling of the wood in them, my nose missed the smell of the sawdust and my ears missed the sounds of the tools as they shaped what would become my masterpiece. I just didn’t realize how much I missed it until she brought it up.
“Holy shit! I can’t believe I made this!” I hear myself say and completely lose it. I start laughing, HARD! The hysterical, uncontrollable type of laughter where you’re doubled over with pain in your sides and tears in your eyes. “Oh my God! I made furniture again!”
After I dry my eyes I look around. Really look around. The furniture I made is fucking fantastic! I still have it.
Dee told me she wanted something summery, bright and beachy. I love that she said I bring that out in her. We actually bring that out in each other. When she first brought up the idea of making furniture again, I immediately shut down. But Dee, like she always does, turned my mood around. She also pulled out her secret weapon, she asked me to do it for her. I can never deny her and that’s why I’m staring at a garage full of Adirondack style furniture.
Seeing something tangible in relation to Dee makes her seem more real and for the first time in…forever, my cock twitches and comes to life. When my wife died, my libido died right along with her. I never thought it would come back and I’m surprised that seeing the furniture I built would reawaken that part of my body. Maybe it’s the fact that I built it for Dee. Who knows what made him want to come out to play. I’m just glad it’s happening.
I run my hand down over the bulge in my shorts and squeeze to relieve the pressure. Needing relief, I quickly head inside. The minute I get to the couch, I take out my aching cock and close my eyes.
“Dee, I need you,” I breathe.
I picture her between my legs, on her knees, with her full pouty lips parted in anticipation. I fist my cock imagining those lips closing around it, encasing me in the wet heat of her mouth. Waiting for me to fuck it. Begging for me to hit the back of her throat.
In my mind’s eye, I see her eyes darken and fill with so much lust that the flecks of nature in them completely disappear. I imagine she has thick dark hair, streaked with sunshine and soft to the touch as my fingers grab onto it while setting the pace.
“Yesss,” I hiss as I brush my thumb over my crown spreading the pre-come down my shaft for lubrication before closing my fist with a tight, slick grip while picturing her cheeks hollowing out as she sucks me, deep. I spread my legs and move my other hand down to my balls, rolling them between my fingers while also paying extra attention to my perineum. I’m extremely sensitive in both those places and my cock jerks in response.
With my eyes closed, I take a deep breath in through my nose and swear I can smell her. She smells like fresh air and springtime. Her scent brings my orgasm to the surface but I want this to last so with need burning in my gut, I slow my strokes, enjoying the edge.
Dee moves faster, taking me deeper with each pass, her perfect tits bouncing as she moans around me; the vibration traveling down my spine making my balls draw up with the need to shoot my load.
I’m so close and so desperate to get the hell off right fucking now.
I run my thumb back over my slit, picturing Dee’s tongue swirling over it at each pass. Her lips, red and swollen, her face flushed, her hair mussed by my fingers and it’s that image that hurls me over the edge. I fall…fast and hard.
“DEEEEE!” I scream while lights explode behind my eyelids and liquid heat surges violently out of me as I come harder than I can remember coming in a very long time.
Limp and shaky, I melt into the cushions, gasping for breath. As I touch back down to earth, I picture pulling her up onto me, kissing her deeply, enjoying the taste of my come on her tongue and I make a promise to myself, a promise I intend to keep. One day I will make this a reality.