Ava

I’ve never been very into motocross aside from being excited every time Colton makes it through another race uninjured, but when I do go to the races, I always have a good time. Today was no different. Ellie, Jake, and I stood by the winding dirt track, drinking beer and cheering our heads off. The nerves I felt while packing my bags this morning fizzled the second the race started, and now I’m warm from the sun and lazy from the beer.

When Jake and I get into our room, I collapse on the bed, bone-deep exhausted but happy. There’s nothing like a day with your best friends to feed your soul.

“You had fun?” Jake asks.

“Yes.” I stretch my arms overhead and arch my back. The last few weeks of the school year are always hectic, but there’s an extra layer of tension around Windsor Prep as everyone waits to find out who’s going to lose their job. I needed to unwind. “Does it always feel this good to take time off work? Because I think I’ve been missing out.”

He chuckles. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” He leans against the wall and watches me as if he’s waiting for me to say something or do something. I feel that old sexual awkwardness creep in. I’m sharing a room with Jake, and we’re supposed to make a baby.

Things were never awkward between us before, but now I’ve confused everything, and he has too, dammit. I just thought we’d have sex—compartmentalize the baby-making and the friendship, keeping them separate. He’s the one who’s muddied the two, and my old feelings refuse to stay buried where they belong.

Maybe I should have expected that, but it’s not what I was asking for, and it scares me more than a little.

I kept myself busy all week so I didn’t have a chance to think too much about spending Saturday night in a hotel with Jake. Monday, I met with Lilly to help with the audition piece she’s already nailed, then Tuesday I had the children’s theater board meeting. I caught up on grading on Wednesday and worked at Jackson Brews on Thursday and Friday.

I hoped my shifts would include a repeat of Jake pinning me against the cooler, maybe some of that knuckle foreplay he’s so good at, or even him giving me a preview of what was to come this weekend. Instead, he was scarce, and I barely talked to him all week other than to confirm our travel plans. But now we’re here, and I’m nervous and greedy for what happens next for reasons that have very little to do with the baby I want.

“Wanna order a pizza tonight or go out?” I ask, more to have something to say than because I’m hungry. We’re supposed to meet Ellie, Colton, Levi, and some chick Levi’s seeing at the club across the street at ten, but suddenly, the five hours between now and then seem to stretch too wide. They’re too filled with possibility.

“Let’s go out,” he says. “I can make reservations.”

“What about that tapas restaurant down the block?”

He already has his phone out, tapping the screen. “Got it.” He slides his phone back into his pocket. “I made a reservation for six. Wanna shower or anything?”

“That’s probably a good idea. I must stink from a day at the track.” I roll to sitting. Climbing off the bed feels like it requires way more effort than it should. I’m either going to need a cup of coffee or a nap if we’re staying out late with everyone tonight. I’m out of energy.

Grabbing my overnight bag, I head to the bathroom. I start the shower to warm it, but when I turn to close the door, Jake’s standing in the way, watching me.

I frown at him and wave to the shower. “Did you want to go first?”

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Okay . . .” I look at him, and then the door. “Do you wanna leave so I can do this?”

“Nope.”

“Jacob Jackson, you are not planning to stand there while I take off my clothes.”

He smirks. “I’m not? Are you sure about that?” His gaze sweeps over me. Heat races through my veins followed by a chill of anticipation. He folds his arms. “You don’t want me to see you naked. Is that the problem?”

“I don’t know why you’d want to,” I blurt, then realize it sounds like I’m fishing for compliments. I wince and wish I could take the words back. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my body. It’s just that I don’t have much to look at. My breasts are barely there, my ass only a hint of curve. There’s nothing to get excited over.

He chuckles. “Holy shit, Ava. I’m a dude—a heterosexual dude at that. Seeing you naked is . . .” His grin spreads. “Let’s just say I think about it a lot. Daily.”

I gape. Daily? Does that mean since we made this plan or before?

“But if you want me to leave, I can do that. I’ll just liquor you up tonight and try again.”

“Try to get me naked or try to have sex?” My voice squeaks. We’re going to do this. I’m sure we are, but I need to prepare myself. Mentally. “Because if this is just about seeing me naked, I don’t want . . .” I don’t want to disappoint you. “There’s just . . . not much to see.”

“I will see you naked before I’m inside you. It’s this silly little prerequisite of mine.” He walks toward me, and there’s a challenge in his eyes that makes me feel bolder than I should.

“So we’re going to”—I swallow—“start trying tonight?”

My heart’s racing when he bends his head down and leans his forehead against mine. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are? How beautiful you looked in the sunshine with that big grin on your face?” He cups my jaw in his hand and groans. “I couldn’t stop thinking about tonight. About sharing that bed with you.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah.” He slides his hand into my hair and wraps it around his fist. He tugs gently, and pleasure sparks up my spine. “Are you going to let me touch you?” The words are a hot whisper against my ear, and everything in me is tight and begging.

“Yes.” I practically pant the word.

He pulls my earlobe between his teeth, and his hand trails over my collarbone and down to cup my breast. “And you’ll let me look at you?” His thumb grazes my nipple, and hell, now I want to be naked. Even the thin layers of my bra and T-shirt are too much to have between us. “Let me explore you?”

I nod, and I think I might whimper. Am I really expected to form words right now?

“Think on that for me.” His hand slips under my T-shirt, and shit, I want more. His palm runs over my belly. His fingertips dip under the waistband of my jeans. “Think about it in the shower. At dinner. When you dance tonight.” He drops his face to the crook of my neck and takes a deep breath.

Then he steps away and he’s walking out of the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him.

He gets his wish. I think about him while I close my eyes under the spray, my body pulsing, my mind spinning fantasies about him pressing me up against the tile shower wall, the heat of his bare chest pressed against me as his hands explore.

I wash my hair and shave, taking the extra care of a woman who’s preparing for her lover. I’m thinking of him when I climb out of the shower and when I dry my hair. I’m thinking of him when I choose a short black dress and the slinkiest underwear from my bag.

When I step out of the bathroom, he’s changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a crisp black dress shirt that’s open at the collar and rolled up, revealing his forearms. Those forearms.

A sound bubbles up from my throat that I think might be a purr.

Jake looks me over. His slow, raking gaze trailing from my feet and up my body is its own kind of seduction. “Ready?”

I swallow. “I really am.”

Jake

Usually I wouldn’t be interested in the thumping music of the nightclub and the throng of bodies crowding the dance floor, but it’s good to see Ava let loose. She and Ellie have danced since we got here, and Ava’s gotten more into it with each subsequent song. Her arms are in the air, her hips rocking back and forth as if the music is vibrating from inside her.

“Thanks for coming this weekend,” Levi says from beside me. We’re leaning against the railing that surrounds the dance floor, and his date is . . . somewhere. I don’t know. I haven’t paid much attention to the giggling redhead.

I nod without looking at him, because I can’t take my eyes off Ava.

“It’s always nice to have a few extra people around so I’m not just the third wheel,” Levi says.

This time, I cut my eyes to my brother. “You can’t be a third wheel if you have a girl hanging on your arm, Levi.”

He shrugs, an unspoken you know what I mean. And I do. The women in Levi’s life come and go, but Ellie is as much a fixture of his world as his friend Colton is. She has been since she and Colton started dating.

I know he loves them both. But I’m also realizing his feelings for Ellie might be heavier than any of us realized. Unrequited love is a bitch. Hopefully he handles it better than I did.

“How’s the big plan going?” Levi asks.

On the dance floor, Ellie loops her arms behind Ava’s neck, and Ava throws her head back in laughter as Ellie dances against her. “It wasn’t the smoothest start, but I’m getting there.”

“Getting in her pants or in her heart?” he asks, then holds up two hands when I scowl. “The difference seems significant, is all.”

“As I’m all too aware.” I drain my beer, then slide the empty bottle back onto the table. I don’t want to talk about this shit tonight. “I’m going to go dance with my girl.”

Levi arches a brow. “You dance?”

“I do tonight.” I head onto the floor and pull Ava away from Ellie and into my arms as if I do it all the time. Ava gasps, her eyes going wide, and I press a palm to the small of her back and hold her body against mine. Because I can. Because she’s given me permission to touch her tonight. Because I’ve waited for this for years, and I know not letting myself take things too far might be the hardest damn thing I’ve ever had to do.

She laughs and shakes her head. “What’s gotten into you? You never dance.”

I take her chin in my hand and turn her face up toward mine. Her laughter falls away, and her eyes search my face. I dip my head down and rub the tip of my nose over hers. “Just dance.”

She probably can’t even hear me. The music’s so loud in here and the crowd grows thicker around us with every song, but dancing is in Ava’s blood. She loops her hands behind my neck and shifts her hips, so close that her body brushes against mine with each movement.

I can’t think about us falling apart. I can’t think about her never seeing me as more than a friend or about her starting a family without me. So I just think about this: Ava dancing in my arms. Her body close and warm. Soft.

I place the flat of my palm against her belly and drop my nose to the crook of her neck to take in her smell, her heat. I use my free hand to trail up and down her side, only hinting at every inch I plan to explore.

And when looking into her eyes makes the sting in my chest too sharp, I spin her in my arms and pull her back against my front. She reaches one hand back behind my neck, keeping hold of me as we dance. She craves the same contact I do. I have to believe it means something.