Jake

Sleeping next to Ava is fucking killing me.

I meant every word I said last night. I’m not going to make love to her here. I don’t want her to feel inhibited in the slightest when I’m finally inside her. But sleeping in the same bed together, waking up with her body curled into mine, her ass rubbing against my morning hard-on, and the memory of her orgasm pulsing around my fingers. . . I’m about to lose my goddamned mind.

I sweep her hair to the side and lower my mouth to her neck. I won’t wake her up, but I can’t walk away without putting my lips on her. I press a kiss to the tender skin beneath her ear then force myself out of bed before my hands start something I can’t finish—at least not with my mom and sister on the other side of the wall.

I go straight to the shower and turn it hot, as if I can wash the lust from my brain. I can’t stop thinking about the way she looked at me last night while we were standing against the house and I described everything I wanted to do to her. Hell, I don’t want to stop thinking about it. Her eyes were dark with lust, and her lips were parted and waiting as she hung on my every word. Her body swayed closer to me with each whispered promise.

Taking her to the lake and touching her there was a longtime fantasy of mine, and when she crawled into bed with me hours later, having her in my arms tested my limits. It was all I could do to resist rolling her over and pinning her hands behind her head as I kissed my way down her body. I want to taste her. I want to know the feel of her losing control when my face is between her legs and she can’t hold still.

I fought the fantasy last night, determined to keep my promise, but now I wrap my hand around my dick and stroke. I imagine pulling her nipples into my mouth until she moans and begs for more, parting her legs with one thigh, the wet heat of her greeting me as I slide inside. I grip myself harder as I remember how she squeezed around my fingers, the arch of her back and the lift of her hips as her body bucked into me.

I let the water spray over me, and I rub up and down my shaft. In the fantasy, her knees draw up around my waist, and I slide into her. Her hips come off the bed as she pulls me deeper and deeper into her body.

In terms of fantasies, it’s pretty tame—her body under me, her eyes locked on mine—but I’m so fucking turned on because it’s so close to my reality. She’s afraid she’s going to disappoint me, but all she has to do is want me in return and I know it’ll be more than enough. Ava with me and turned on is my biggest fantasy.

I grip my dick harder and quicken my strokes, tilting my face up to the spray.

I don’t know what makes me open my eyes, but when I do, Ava’s standing on the other side of the glass shower door, watching me. She’s wrapped in my dark blue robe, her hair pulled into a sloppy bun on top of her head. I didn’t think I could be more turned on than I was imagining her two seconds ago, but I am the moment I recognize the heat in her eyes.

I release myself and open the door. “Good morning, beautiful.” Her tongue darts out to touch her bottom lip. “Do you want to join me?”

She drags her gaze over me slowly, stopping at my jutting erection. Without saying a word, she unties the robe, lets it fall from her shoulders, and peels off her tank top and panties. Then she’s in the shower with me, and before I can press her against the wall and kiss her as hard as I intend to, she’s dropping to her knees in front of me, her lips parted as she looks up at me from under the spray.

And fuck, I almost come right there, her breath on my cock, her eyes hot and desperate. Her tongue touches her lips before it ever touches me, and anticipation coils up my spine and shoots hot through my blood.

She puts her hands on my hips and runs them over my ass, down the backs of my thighs and back up, scraping her nails over my abs before taking my hands and guiding them into her wet hair.

She wraps her mouth around me, and my hips jerk. I have to concentrate to keep myself from thrusting into her mouth—because holy shit, the heat of her wet mouth and the sight of Ava on her knees in front of me is everything.

“Christ, Ava.”

She moans, and the vibration sends another shot of liquid fire through my blood. She wraps her tongue around the bottom of my shaft and sucks. I thread my fingers through her hair and guide her lightly because I know she wants this connection, wants this reassurance that she’s giving me what I need. Fuck, how could she doubt it? It’s so good. I’m afraid I’m going to lose control and push her to take me deeper than she comfortably can. She’s barely gotten started, and I’m ready to come in her mouth.

“It’s so good,” I murmur, and she sucks me deeper and curls her nails into my hip. I don’t want to close my eyes because I love seeing her like this. It’s my fantasy come to life. It’s better than my fantasy. But the pleasure builds at the base of my spine and refuses to let me do anything but submit. “Ava.” I tug lightly on her hair, urging her up, but she stays put, and I release a muffled curse as I come.

When I draw her up to me, she’s grinning. “What are you so happy about?”

“You. This.” Her eyes meet mine under the spray of the shower. “Us.”

Ava

“You have a nice shower?” Shay asks when I step into the kitchen.

My cheeks flare hot. The kitchen is crowded with Jacksons—Brayden, Levi, and Carter are at the table with Lilly, and Ethan and Nic are just outside the kitchen in the living room.

Lilly looks up from the table and smiles. “I had my bath last night.”

Jake wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me into his side before he drops a kiss to the top of my head. “Shay’s just jealous because she’s not had a good shower in a long time.”

“Way too freaking long,” Shay mutters.

Jake reaches around me and grabs two mugs from the cabinet. “Brayden, it’s a Saturday morning. Just put the work away.”

Brayden sighs and shakes his head as he looks at his laptop screen. “I’m working on getting Molly enrolled in our health insurance. We need to hire an HR person if we’re going to keep growing our staff.”

“Wow,” Carter says flatly. “Amazing idea. Too bad no one suggested it before.”

Jake smirks. “Good plan, Brayden. Glad you thought of it.”

Brayden rolls his eyes. “If you want me to say you were right, don’t hold your breath. It would have been too soon to do it before. Now that we’re hiring regional sales reps, it might be worth it. Maybe.”

“I forgot Molly was working for you,” I say. I take the mug of coffee Jake offers me and wrap my hands around it. “How’s that working out?”

Levi chuckles at the table. “Brayden met with her in New York last week, and I think he’d agree it’s going really well.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Brayden says, punching his brother in the arm.

“Language!” Lilly says, putting on her best stern face, and everyone laughs.

I smile as I add cream to my coffee. I like the idea of Brayden and Molly. I wonder if there’s anything to what Levi’s saying.

Brayden squeezes the back of his neck, worry creasing his forehead. “It was nothing.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, I’m kind of baffled she didn’t even tell me about her kid. Why does she keep him a secret, Ava?”

My mug thunks when I drop it on the counter. “Who?”

He taps his finger to his screen. “Noah? Her little boy? She didn’t mention him the whole time I was up there training her. It was like he didn’t even exist.”

“Molly has a little boy?” I ask. Jake looks to Brayden then back to me, and I shake my head. “I think you’re misunderstanding something. Her friend has a kid. Could she be trying to get him onto her health insurance?”

Brayden frowns. “It’s right here in the paperwork she filled out for her health insurance. Noah McKinley, son, four years old.”

Jake puts his mug down next to mine and walks around the counter to look over Brayden’s shoulder.

Carter gets up from the table, but he walks over to me. “Maybe it’s a mistake,” he says. “Maybe she misunderstood something in the paperwork.”

Noah McKinley, son.

It doesn’t sound like something that could be confused.

“If you feel strange asking her about it, I can call her,” Jake says, squeezing Brayden’s shoulder. “I’ll make sure the paperwork is filled out correctly.”

I slide my cell from my pocket, my thumb hovering over the screen, then slide it back in. I feel like Molly and I really connected when she was in town. The idea that she’d keep something as important as a child from me hurts. Do Dad and Jill know? Have they kept this from me too? And why? To protect Molly from my imperfect influence? That doesn’t even make sense. None of this does.

I didn’t even realize Jake has come back to stand in front of me until he holds my face in his hands. “You okay?” he asks.

I nod, then shake my head. “I don’t know.”

He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. “Try not to overthink it until we know something for sure.”

With Jake’s warmth against my cheek and his arms around my waist, Molly’s secrecy from me seems less significant.

Jake

“This is Molly. Leave a message.”

I pace across the bedroom, looking up to make sure the door’s still closed. “Hey, Molly, this is Jake. Call me back, okay?” Since she’s ignored my calls the three other times I’ve tried her this morning, I add, “It’s about work stuff.”

Do not jump to conclusions. But it’s not much of a jump, and it would be really fucking easy to do just that. If the information on her healthcare enrollment is true, Molly has a son who was born around nine months after we got drunk and slept together. I don’t want to overreact, but given the timing, it seems like something we should at least have a conversation about.

“Jake?” Ava sticks her head in the bedroom door. Her smile falls away when she sees the phone in my hand. “Did you get a hold of Molly?”

I shake my head. This gnawing ache in my gut can simmer the fuck down any minute now. “I’m sorry. She’s not answering.”

She steps into the room, toying with her ponytail, and for a breath, I forget what I’m worried about. Ava’s in a bikini.

This isn’t a new thing. I’ve seen her in a bikini before. Hundreds of times, probably. But this is the first time I’ve been able to touch her in her bikini, and this one—a strappy black thing with a top that crisscrosses over her chest and bottoms that sit low on her hips—makes my hands itch to touch.

I toss my phone on the bed and cross the room to put my hands on her waist, pulling her against me. “You look lethal in that suit.”

She loops her arms behind my neck. “I’m glad you like it.”

I nuzzle her neck. Ever since Brayden told us about Molly’s possible child this morning, I haven’t been able to get close enough to Ava. I keep touching her. Bringing her closer. Taking every opportunity to kiss her. I have to remind myself Ava is real. She’s here, and she’s mine. The rest is nothing more than an unknown. Trailing kisses up her neck, I slide a hand into her bikini bottoms to cup her ass.

She pushes me away, her hands flat against my chest. “Nope. Don’t start that. I’m not going to let your sister give me a hard time about what we’re doing in here.”

I groan as she steps out of my arms, but I let her walk away. She winks as she backs out of the room and shuts the door behind her, presumably so I can change into my beach clothes too. On the bed, my phone buzzes and I snatch it fast even though it’s just a text alert.

 

Molly: Crazy day. Sorry I’ve missed your calls. We’re camping this weekend. Can we talk Tuesday?

 

I want to talk to her today. Right now. Hell, five years ago.

But maybe Tuesday is better. It might be a good idea to have this conversation without half a dozen prying ears listening in.

 

Me: Sure. What time works best for you?

 

Molly: Call me in the morning. I’ll be around.

 

Me: Great. Talk then.

 

I make myself push Tuesday’s problems from my mind and change into my swim trunks.

When I head back out to the kitchen, the cabin is bustling with the chaos of everyone getting ready for a day at the lake. Levi’s packing the cooler, Shay’s gathering towels, and Lilly is hopping around the house, wild in her excitement to get into the water. It’s in the mid-eighties today, nice weather for Memorial Day weekend in Michigan, but the water will still be cold. Most of the adults will spend their day sitting on the beach or cruising along our private lake in the family pontoon.

Days like these are my favorite, but right now I’m completely uninterested in the sunshine and the water. Next to me, Ava’s rubbing sunscreen into her skin in slow movements that aren’t helping me get this morning’s shower out of my mind. She reaches for the middle of her back.

“Here.” I take the bottle from her. “Let me get that.” I squeeze a dollop into my hand and rub it between her shoulder blades. She shivers—at the cool lotion or at my touch, I’m not sure.

“You guys about ready?” Shay asks.

“We should be in a minute,” Ava says.

I shake my head. “No. I forgot something.” I point my thumb to the bedroom. “I need to make another call before we go, but why don’t you guys head out and we’ll meet you down there?”

Nic and Mom beam at us, and Shay smirks. My brothers mind their own damn business for once.

When they’re all gone and the house is quiet, Ava turns to me. “What call do you have to make?”

“An important one.” I take her wrists in each of my hands and tug her toward me. “A really, really important one.”

She frowns. “So hurry and make it so we can join them.”

I cup her face in my hands and kiss her hard. This morning in the shower was too fucking good, and the way she’s looked at me since is everything. But mostly, I just can’t escape this horrible, rotting feeling I’ve had since Brayden said the words Noah McKinley, son, four years old.

I need to touch Ava. I feel like if I don’t do something and hold her close now, she’s going to slip away from me before I make sense of Molly’s secret, and I refuse to let that happen.

I slide my mouth over hers and flick my tongue across her lips.

“Jake,” she whispers.

I slide my fingertips into the front of her bikini. “Yes?”

She gasps. “What are you doing?”

“Are you still wet from thinking about the shower this morning?” I slide my hand down farther and find her slick. I groan, and her fingers curl into my shoulders.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m losing my mind. I can’t look at you in this bikini and be expected to keep my hands off you.”

She smiles. “You don’t have to keep your hands off. I’m your girlfriend.”

“Yes, but my niece is a little too young to see the ways I want to touch you, so your day in the sun will just have to wait.”

Her lips quirk into a smile. “I guess that’s okay.”

I take her hand and lead her toward the basement. “Do you remember when we were in college and you let me teach you how to play pool?”

“Yeah.”

I lock the door behind us at the top of the stairs. She looks at the locked handle, then at me with an arched brow. Chuckling softly, she follows me down to the pool table, where I rack the balls and hand her a pool cue.

She arches a brow. “You kept me here to play eight-ball?”

I move to stand behind her and step close as I take her hips in my hands. “I’d get behind you and help you line up the shot, and I’d be hard as hell,” I say against her ear. “Your body felt so good against mine, but I couldn’t tell you what I wanted.”

She closes her eyes and tilts her head to the side, giving my mouth access to her neck. “What did you want?”

I sweep my lips up and down that perfect soft skin. “Jesus. Everything.”

She shakes her head. “No. Tell me.”

“How about I show you?” I slide my hand back down into her bikini bottoms. “I could see the edge of your pink panties that day, and I wanted to put my hand in your jeans and rub you through them until they were soaked.” Her breath catches, and I kiss my way down her neck. I use two fingers to toy with her clit, loving the way she rubs her ass against my dick when I touch her, needing the way my panic dissolves when my hands are on her.

She leans her head back into my shoulder. I nibble and suck at the tender skin beneath her ear. She tucks her hips, leading my hand closer to where she wants it.

“Can I tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about having your mouth on me in the shower? The reality was so much better than any fantasy.”

She releases a breath as she closes her eyes. She reaches a hand behind my neck and threads her fingers into my hair. “You liked it?”

“Fuck yes, Ava.” I toy with her clit between my fingers. “You liked my hand in your hair, didn’t you? You liked giving me that bit of control.”

“Yes,” she says.

“Did it make you wet to suck me off? Did you want to put your hand between your legs?”

“Yes.” She rocks into my hand, and I can tell by the building tension in her muscles that I could make her come like this.

“I’ve thought about this too many times.” With one smooth motion, I pull my hand from her bikini bottoms and turn her in my arms. I release the clasp of her bikini top and let it fall to the floor before I guide her to sit on the edge of the pool table.

“We can’t do this here.”

“Do what?” I tug her bikini bottoms from her hips and let them drop down her legs. I part her thighs and sink down so I can look at her—wet, swollen, and exposed for me. “I’ve wanted to do this to you here since the day I taught you how to line up a shot.” I don’t even try to take it slow. I flick my tongue over her, and she gasps. Another time, I’ll get there slowly. I’ll torture her with kisses on her inner thighs and teasing touches near her aching center. But today I need to taste her as desperately as I’ve ever needed anything.

I run my tongue over her clit and into her. As my hands slide under her ass, I lift her hips off the table and bury my face between her legs. She whimpers, then gives me what I want and rocks against my face, abandoning control and turning her body over to me completely.

“Jake.”

Just like in the shower, this is so much better than my fantasy. She’s so turned on, and that is the fantasy—Ava turned on by my words, my body, my mouth, my lips, and my tongue. I work her over, relentless, and time falls away. Nothing matters but the taste of her and the sounds she makes as I push her closer to that edge. I give myself over to her pleasure until she lifts her hips off the table and screams my name.

As she slowly unravels, she releases her grip on my hair. I stand, greedy in my need to see her face and hold her in my arms.

She slinks off the pool table, but I don’t get to hold her because she’s bending in front of me, moving her mouth over my stomach and her hands down my back before tugging off my swim trunks. “Come here,” she says softly, standing again.

I let her guide me to the couch, sitting when she nudges me down. She straddles my hips, and the feel of her slick heat against my dick is so damn sweet that I have to focus all my energy on not sliding right into her.

Taking her face in my hands, I kiss her. I let her taste herself on my lips.

She meets my eyes as she shifts her hips, positioning me at her entrance. “Jake?”

I never meant for us to get to this so quickly, but her eyes are hazy with pleasure, and when she shifts above me, I lift my hips. In the next moment, she’s sliding down my cock—no condom, no hesitation—and I fucking love it. I love knowing there’s nothing between us, and am grounded by the feeling that this connects us in a way that can’t be unbroken.

Her breath hitches as I fill her. “Oh, God.” She grips the back of my neck. “Jake, it’s so good. It’s better than I . . . God.”

Emotion knots in my throat as I watch her move over me. Her eyes are at half-mast, and her lips are parted. Fighting the instinct to hold her too tightly, I soften my grip on her hips.

She shakes her head and slides her hands over mine. “Hold me.” She leans forward, buries her face into the crook of my neck. “Don’t be gentle with me.”

The whispered plea breaks something loose inside me, and in one swift motion, I wrap my arms around her and take her to the floor. She draws her knees up, opening her body for me, and gasps as I drive deeper.

“You feel so damn good,” I whisper into her ear. Between our bodies, I cup her breast and squeeze gently, loving the arch of her neck and the flush in her cheeks. “So good.”

When her body tightens around me and her soft moans turn to desperate pants, I cover her mouth with mine and kiss her with everything I’m feeling. It’s too much to keep this inside, and I focus on this moment: Ava naked and falling apart in my arms, her vulnerability making me even more aware of mine. I love her, and losing her would destroy me. I can’t. I won’t.

“You’re mine,” I say, and there’s an edge to my words that’s sharper than my building need. Mine.

She softens under me. “Yes. Yours.”

I take her words as the promise I need them to be and let myself go, closing my eyes and relishing the feel of skin on skin as I release.