Ava

“What kind of health food do you have on the menu tonight, Jake?” Teagan asks with a wry grin.

“I was going to serve a nice kale salad with chicken breast, but then I remembered I don’t serve food that tastes like punishment and self-loathing.”

“Hardy-har-har,” she says.

This afternoon was Veronica’s baby shower. Nic arranged for a sweet little party at Ethan’s house where we spoiled the big-bellied woman with all the material things she’ll need for the next several months. It was the first time in years I can remember going to a baby shower without an ache of longing in my chest. Finally, I believe everything is going to work out as it should. Time will get me there. With Jake.

The mother-to-be was exhausted after her big day, but the rest of us wanted to hang out more, so we came to Jackson Brews and claimed our favorite booth at the back.

“For you,” Jake says to Teagan, “I’m offering deep-fried Oreos with ice cream and hot fudge. And if you ask really nice, I’ll dig up a Twinkie to put on top.”

“Is he kidding?” Teagan asks, looking around the table. “I honestly can’t tell if he’s kidding.”

Shay rolls her eyes. “He’s probably only half kidding.” She turns to her brother. “What’s on the menu, Jake? We’re hungry.”

“Doing street tacos tonight,” he says, pulling a few folded menus from his back pocket.

Brayden has given Jake lectures on more than one occasion about how profit margins would go up if he’d keep a fixed menu, but Jake doesn’t like to do things Brayden’s way. Brayden says it’s because Jake hates money, but the truth is Jake takes pride in his rotating menus and would be bored by the monotony of standard pub fare.

“Oh, these sound so good,” Shay says.

“Agreed,” Teagan says, then shakes her head. She points to a description while scowling at Jake. “Avocado is perfect just as it is. There is no reason to deep-fry it.”

Personally, I’ve had the taco with the deep-fried avocado and the drizzle of cilantro ranch, and as sinful as it is, once you’ve tried it, you can’t blame Jake for serving it. Heaven. “I’ll have two of the Avocado Ranchers,” I say, grinning at him.

“Yeah, you will.” He winks at me.

The other girls give their orders, and Jake scribbles notes down on his pad before tucking it into his back pocket. “Anything else?”

“Privacy?” Ellie asks. “You haven’t walked away from this table since your woman got here.”

My cheeks heat, and Jake shrugs. “If you’d let me take her to the back for five minutes—”

“No!” the girls chorus.

Jake chuckles, then dips his head to bring his mouth to mine. The kiss is chaste by most standards—two pairs of lips touching, no tongue, no groping—but the way his mouth lingers against mine makes my blood heat. “You look fucking amazing tonight,” he whispers in my ear. “I’m feeling really sorry that I promised to take it slow, because I’d love to strip off everything but those heels and—”

“Oh my God! Leave already!” Shay screeches, and I look across the table to see her shudder. “I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I still feel like I need a shower.”

Jake winks at me, then heads to the kitchen to prepare our food.

“So, how’s that going?” Teagan asks.

My gaze darts to Shay, who’s the only person at this table of my friends I haven’t talked to about my Sunday afternoon with Jake six short days ago. She folds her arms and watches me. “I’m curious too. He’s certainly happier.”

“Of course he’s happier,” Nic says. “He finally got the girl.”

“And you’re happier,” Teagan says. “Lost her job but can’t stop grinning. Somebody’s getting laid.”

Ellie snorts, and Shay grimaces. “Remind me to find some friends who don’t fuck my brothers. There are some things a girl just doesn’t need to know about her family members.”

“So you’re doing it,” Nic says, squeezing her hands together and grinning. “This is happening.”

“They’re actually not doing it,” Ellie says. “She got me all excited about being an auntie, but at this rate we’re all going to see the dawn of the next century before those two actually copulate.” She props her elbows on the table and leans forward. “I think they missed the day in health class when they taught about how the penis has to go inside the vagina for babies to get made.”

Shay drags a hand over her face. “Maybe I’ll leave, and you can text me when you’re done talking about my brother’s penis?”

I dip my gaze and focus on my beer instead of all the curious eyes pointed in my direction. “We’re taking it slow.” I nibble on my bottom lip. “It’s been nice, actually. I was in such a rush to have a baby, and I still want that, but . . . there are a few other things that have taken priority.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t have sex,” Ellie says. “Because condoms?”

Nic smacks her arm. “Stop it. I think it’s sweet.”

It turns out Jake was serious when he said we’d take it slow. He hasn’t done anything more than kiss me since that afternoon in my kitchen. That and some heavy over-the-clothes petting against the bar after we closed last night. He kissed my neck and whispered dirty words, then rubbed me through my jeans until I came. I wanted to go to bed with him so badly afterward that I nearly screamed when he kissed me goodnight and sent me home.

“We’ve both been really busy,” I say. “Slow makes sense.” Even if it is making me crazy.

“You’re coming to the cabin with us next weekend, right?” Nic asks.

I bite my bottom lip and nod. I’ve been to the Jackson family cabin many times before. It was a home away from home for me when I was a teenager. But this is the first time I’ll be there as Jake’s girlfriend—and it will be the first time we’ve spent the night together since we confessed our feelings. “Is it stupid that I’m nervous?”

Shay laughs. “Yes. Totally stupid. You two have been a couple for two decades without even realizing it. Nothing’s changed.”

“Colton and I can’t make it,” Ellie says. “His team needs him in town to test out the new bike they’ve been working on. So if Jake wears out your hoo-ha and you need a timeout, I won’t be there to protect you.”

Teagan groans. “Please never refer to a vagina as a hoo-ha ever again.”

“Just because your vagina is sad doesn’t mean I can’t give mine a happy name.”

“You hanging in there?” Jake asks me on Friday night. We snuck outside after dinner, and we’re standing here with our backs against the house, our faces tilted up to the sky. The night is warm, and the blanket of stars over the cabin is the perfect reminder of why I love this part of Michigan so much.

I nod. “I feel like this is the first chance I’ve had to catch my breath all week.”

We’re at the cabin with his family, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

This week has been one unbelievable and emotionally exhausting turn of events after another. Tuesday, I did a Skype interview for the job in Florida. It turns out that Colton was right, and it isn’t just Dad’s influence that had them coming after me with such gusto. Seaside Community Schools is looking for a candidate who can start a summer theater program from the ground up—which is exactly what I did in Jackson Harbor, except in Seaside the children’s theater director position would be paid, whereas here my long hours are done on a volunteer basis.

Then today was my last day at Windsor Prep. My drama kids cried and so did I, but I reminded them that we’ll see each other all summer while they help with the children’s theater.

Colton’s right about my fear of change. I’ve always been that way, and now it’s no different. Jake encouraged me to take the interview for the Seaside position, even if we don’t know where the move will leave us. He wants me to make an informed decision, and I just want an excuse to rule out anything that takes me away from him.

Jake’s hand finds mine, and I hold my breath as he slowly threads our fingers together and strokes the back of my knuckles with his thumb.

I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for us to make love—which is crazy, because if someone had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have lied and said I wasn’t interested in sleeping with Jake at all. Now, all he has to do is walk into a room and I’m warm from my cheeks all the way down to my toes, aware of my body in a way I haven’t been in a long time—maybe ever. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped thinking of myself sexually, but I had, and now I’m a bit obsessed. I think about it all the time—his hands, his mouth, how it will feel the first time he’s inside me.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” he asks.

“I’m wondering if you’re ever going to do more than kiss me,” I say, gathering every bit of my bravery. “If you ever plan to finish what you started at the hotel.”

He releases my hand and turns to stand with a leg on either side of mine. He leans over me, his hands against the side of the house. “I promise I’m going to finish what I started.” His gaze sweeps over my face before he slowly lowers his mouth. I draw in a breath as his lips sweep across mine. God, it’s good.

Every cell in my body seems to expand at his touch. It’s like flowers blooming or the sun rising or butterflies breaking free from their cocoons—he does that to me all over.

One hand slides under my shirt and up my side. “But if you’re wondering if I’m going to do it here,” he says, his thumb stroking the underside of my breast, “the answer is no. I can’t. There are too many ears around, and the first time I’m inside you, I’m going to make you come so hard you can’t help but scream.”

My breath catches and my back arches, my body desperate for more of his touch. “What if I’m not a screamer?”

His lips quirk. “We’ll see . . .”

“What if I disappoint you?” I mean it to sound like a joke, a reference to the idea of me screaming when I’ve never screamed during sex in my life. But instead, the words sound a little shaky. A little too vulnerable. A little too insecure. I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint him in so many ways, and I think we both know it.

“You couldn’t possibly.”

“That night was an anomaly for me. Usually . . .” I swallow. “Usually it’s not so easy.”

“It was pretty easy when I was rubbing you through your jeans.” His lips quirk. “Not that I’m complaining. It was hot as hell.”

My cheeks heat at the memory. “But sometimes I just can’t,” I whisper.

“You let me worry about that, okay?” He shakes his head slowly. “All that matters is that you’re enjoying yourself—orgasm or no orgasm, there’s no possible way you could disappoint me.” He cups my breasts, his thumb stroking across my bra and catching my hard nipple. I bite my bottom lip to catch my moan, and he smiles. “And anyway, I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Considering how long I’ve wanted to get inside you . . .” His gaze drops to my mouth. “How many times I’ve fantasized about having you in my bed. . . I want to make sure the first time is as amazing for you as it is for me. So I can’t decide if I want you under me—your knees pulled up around my waist, so you can feel me deep inside you—or if I want you to ride me.” He pinches my nipple. “Then I could suck on these perfect breasts while you got yourself off on my cock.”

My breath catches, and I press into his hands. “I like your mouth on my breasts.”

“I noticed. But then I’ve thought about taking you from behind—God knows I’m going to make sure that happens eventually—with your ass in my hands as I drive deep and make you stroke your clit for me. It’ll be fucking amazing to take you like that.”

His words are the light to a fuse that races across my skin and sets every nerve ending on fire. Yes, please. I want everything. All of it.

“But not the first time. The first time, I want to see your face. I want to watch all the pleasure wash over you and see what you look like when you come.”

I lean forward, pressing my face into his chest, and groan.

“I’ve been trying to go slowly,” he whispers, “but it’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done. I want you so badly.”

“Then take me.” Do I sound as desperate as I feel? His words have me twisted in knots. Every muscle from my shoulders to down between my legs is tight with longing.

“I will. And that’s a promise.” He takes my hand and leads me away from the house. “Come on a walk with me?”

I nod and intertwine my fingers with his as we wander through the darkness.

The Jackson family cabin is forty-five minutes inland from Jackson Harbor, away from the tourist draw of the shoreline of Lake Michigan and the lights of the city. The cabin is tucked off the road and into the woods on a nice piece of property with a small lake. We’ve spent so many summer days out here swimming and fishing, and winter days sledding down the hill by the pole barn. The far side of the property has a dirt bike track where Levi and Colton train with their motocross team.

Jake leads me away from the house and down the path to the little beach area in front of the lake. When I see it, I stop walking and press my hand to my chest. “Jake.”

I can make out his grin in the moonlight, and my heart squeezes hard with love. Lanterns line the path to the beach where there’s a blanket laid out in front of a small campfire.

“Come on,” he says. “I think there’s a bottle of wine waiting for us.”

Wordlessly, I follow him down to the sand and sit on the blanket in front of the fire. He pours us each a glass of wine.

“Do you like it?” he asks. He lowers himself to the blanket beside me, and I try to find my voice.

“I love it. How did you . . . When?” He hasn’t left my side since we arrived tonight.

“I made Carter help. He owed me some favors for going on a date with my girl.”

Laughing, I shake my head. “This is so amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re amazing,” he says softly. “This is the first weekend we’ve gotten to spend as a couple, and you didn’t even hesitate when I asked you to spend it with my family.”

“Of course not, Jake. They’re . . .” I turn, looking up toward the house. “They’re my family too.”

He studies his wine and then takes a long pull from his glass before meeting my eyes again. “I don’t want you to move to Florida. You belong here with us. But if you decide that’s what you want, we’re gonna figure it out, okay?”

I nod, emotion clogging my throat. “I don’t know what I want yet.” I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to be that girl who dismisses amazing opportunities for a guy. I did that with Harrison. If my relationship with Jake is going to work, it can’t be like my marriage was.

“Hey.” Jake pulls my glass from my hand and sets it in the sand next to his. “You don’t have to know yet. We’ll figure it out.”

There are so many unknowns in my life right now, but in this moment, his promise is enough to quiet the worry inside me.

He sweeps his lips over mine, leading me to lie on my back as he slowly slides his hand down my body. When he inches the hem of my skirt up my thighs, I giggle. “I’m beginning to think you planned this.”

“You think?” He grins against my mouth as his hand inches up the inside of my thigh. When his fingers brush the satin between my legs, I lift my hips off the ground, and he takes advantage of the moment to tug them from my hips and down my legs in one smooth movement.

I gasp and look up toward the house.

“Don’t worry about them. They know this spot is for us tonight. We won’t be bothered.”

I study his face and shake my head in wonder. I’m really here with Jake. “Do you remember when we came out here after finals our senior year?”

His fingers lazily stroke over my hip. “The night you got trashed and passed out right here on the beach? Yeah. I remember. I slept by your side to make sure you were okay.”

“I was going to tell you how I felt that night.” The fire flickers and snaps behind me, casting shadows over his face as his grin falls away. “I’d had feelings for you for so long, and I’d finally worked up the courage to tell you.”

“And then I met you out here with a girl,” he says flatly. “Fuck.”

I shake my head. “Her name was Sadie, and I hated her. She was so beautiful.”

He shakes his head, and I see torment in the lines around his eyes. “I would have sent Sadie home in a cab if I’d known. She broke up with me after that weekend anyway. She didn’t like that I spent the night with my drunk friend instead of in bed with her.”

“Why did it take us so long to get here?” I ask, still remembering that night. I was drunk and jealous but also a little triumphant that he was with me and not her.

He lowers his head and brushes his lips over mine. “I don’t know.” He kisses me again, longer, slower, deeper, his hand slipping between my legs and skimming across my sensitive skin. “What matters is that we’re here now.”

His thumb finds my clit, and I close my eyes. I’m wet and aching. “Yes,” I whisper.

“You feel so fucking amazing,” he says against my ear. His fingers slide over me again and again, teasing my clit and circling my opening. When he slides a finger inside me, I arch my back and gasp, and he sucks my earlobe between his teeth. “So amazing.”

“I wanted this that night,” I confess on a broken exhale. “I passed out in your lap imagining you might touch me like this.”

“I thought about touching you too. I watched you sleep and wondered how it would feel to kiss you, wondered if you were drunk enough to let me or if I was enough of an ass to try when you were so wasted. By then, I’d already touched you a million times in my imagination.” He slides a second finger inside me, and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out. “Rock into me,” he says. “Fuck my hand like you moved against me at the hotel.”

I obey, slowly moving my hips and relishing his groan of approval in my ear, and I’m lost. He strokes me again and again, teasing my clit with his thumb and whispering encouragement as I tighten around his fingers.

After I come apart, he kisses me with so much tenderness that I’d melt if there were a single solid piece of me left.

“I love you.” I slide a hand into his hair, loving the feel of his breath on my neck and his hand flat and possessive against my belly.

“I love you too, Ava.”

The fire crackles beside us, and the moon reflects off the water. I don’t know what’s in store for me next, but I know tonight is perfect.