Mila~
Mr. Rawlins drones on about how we can each make a difference, we are all unique in our own way, yada, yada, bla, bla-
“So are the three of you coming tonight … to the party at our place?” The whisper jolts me from my thoughts.
I turn my head up and at first I just stare. I don’t know what it is about him, Liam Wright. This guy does it to me every time. He has a way of turning my world upside down.
The first time I saw him, I thought it was the beginning of a panic attack, but instead of going cold, there was a strange warmth that spread through my insides, turning them into a sentimental mush and not the usual pile of pulp.
Liam is like the mother of all firecrackers. He detonates somewhere between my left lung and heart, leaving a mess inside of me every single time.
Contrary to popular belief, this is not a good thing.
It’s a confusing thing. A thing that leaves me speechless at times, or babbling like an idiot, but mostly running. I’m good at running. Better yet, I’m excellent at hiding.
I use my friend Harper as a shield, but seeing as they are nowhere in sight right now, I might be slightly screwed.
That leaves me with speechless or babbling.
“The … party? Your party? Ahh - I’m not sure. Harper is still thinking about it. She’s always in two minds about stuff - until the last minute. You know Harper.”
Babbling it is then.
Ugh. I even top it off with an embarrassing little nervous laugh. How lame of me. I stop myself just in time from dropping my face into my hands. Instead, I settle for fidgeting with my watch. It calms me down seeing as I can’t run or hide right now.
Liam smiles a smile that melts his dark brown eyes, and my knees. My breathing speeds right back up. That’s why I confused it with a panic attack the first time it happened. I can’t blame any girl for reacting that way. Most girls have breathing problems when it comes to Liam, or Mickey, or Blake, or Hunter. If you ask my opinion, those four boys are just a dangerous combination in this college and should come with a health warning.
But out of the four, Liam is my weakness. He has been ever since we met in this very class two years back.
“And you?” he asks. His smile stretches more, forming a dimple in his right cheek. Shit, the dimple. He’s pulling out the big guns. He pushes a hand through his rich dark brown hair, leaving it unruly. My fingers itch to join his, to feel if it’s really as soft as it looks.
Now I really can’t stop staring. Holy Moly, I’m in too deep!
I go from nodding to blinking. Did Liam just ask me if I’m going to his party?
Just the idea that he might want me there makes a gazillion butterflies take flight in the region of my stomach. Gosh, I have it bad for this guy.
“I’m not sure.”
I’d like to go, really. I mean, it’s Liam’s party, for crying out loud, but I don’t really go out at night. I stay indoors … in my room … with my light on … where it’s safe.
I only go out when I really, really have to, and then the place better be lit up like the Fourth of July.
Fine, I’ll admit it! I’m a chicken-shit. One who is shit scared of the dark thanks to all the times that insane cult locked me in that room just because I was having my period. They saw it as a shameful event that was inflicted on women once a month to remind them that they weren’t blessed with carrying a child.
Liam cocks an eyebrow but before he can say more, Mickey leans around him, interrupting us.
“You’re full of shit, Jameson. Everyone’s gonna be at the party. Tell Harper to get her ass over there or I’m gonna drag her there myself, and then she’ll have to pay me for driving her. You might as well come along. You chicks like to travel in packs, hold hands in the toilets, that kinda shit.” He throws his arm around Liam’s shoulder and smiles as if he’s just solved a problem. “See, that way, they’ll both come.”
I can’t help but smile. Mickey’s just playing with me. They shouldn’t even be in this class but seeing as it’s the last day, all rules are out the window. The four of them seem to already be in party mode.
“And how will she have to pay you, Mickey?” I decide to play along. Harper is going to owe me for this. Big time. Harper and Mickey have been flirting with each other the entire year, but for some reason, Mickey’s just not biting.
He smiles seductively and it can only promise good things for her.
“I’ll think of something.”
I cross my arms over my chest, lean back into my chair and try to look calm while my heart is pounding off the charts on behalf of Harper. I really don’t know how to do this flirting thing. This is more her scene.
“You don’t have the guts, Mickey. The day you show up at our house to drag Harper to a party is the day hell freezes over. You’ve been pissing a circle around her all year, but you never make a move. What makes you think I’m going to believe you now?”
Hunter chokes on his laughter behind them. “Mickey, you just had your ass handed to you,” he slaps Mickey on his shoulder before Mickey gets up and comes to sit on the right side of me.
Mr. Rawlins stops his babbling and glares in our direction before he turns back to the board.
Yeah, I might just have taken on the bull by his horns. On second thought, now might be a good time to high-tail my ass out of here. Mickey throws his arm around my neck and pulls me into his side. So much for making a run for it.
“Are you daring me, little Mila? Because it’s a dare you’re going to lose.”
“Nope.” I pop the ‘p’. Thank God he can’t hear how chicken-shit I really am.
Time to put on the brave face. Can’t let these guys see that I’m intimidated by them. After all, we’re in a class filled with students. What can they do?
I poke Mickey in the chest. I can’t believe where this bout of bravery is coming from. Harper better be making dinner for the next week.
“I’m telling you, Michael Hayes,” I say his full name for more effect. “You don’t have the guts,” I spell it out for him, slowly. “I think you’re scared of Harper.”
Hunter laughs again and it makes my own smile grow bigger. You can’t help but smile when Hunter starts laughing. He has one of those infectious laughs.
“Five. I’ll be at your house at five to drag her ass to that party.” Suddenly the bravery is gone, and Mickey’s easy banter is missing in action.
Shit! He’s all serious, a crease forming between his eyes.
“How will she pay?” I ask again, growing nervous for my best friend. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
These guys don’t play around. They can have any girl they want. Their motto is sex first, name later. I mean, we’re talking the screw-crew of Bloomington here.
What if Mickey expects too much from Harper? Oh shit, I clearly didn’t think this through.
The panic must show on my face because Mickey’s smile widens and his blue eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
The bell rings and everyone takes to their feet. Not thinking, I get up and walk out into the aisle just as a group of jocks in my direction, heading for the main exit.
I hardly have time to react when the first guy slams into me.
“Watch it,” he barks before his elbow connects with my side. I’m shoved out of the way and into Mickey.
Strong fingers wrap around my arm, pulling me back into the row, and then I’m squashed between Mickey’s back and Liam’s chest.
One of the guys bumps into Mickey, causing him to stumble backwards and into me. Mickey’s elbow connects with my chest in a hard blow.
“Ow … shit,” I wheeze as soon as I manage to get my breath back.
I hear Mickey growl something and I’m shoved harder into Liam’s chest.
“Watch it, asshole!” Mickey threatens someone, and his tone alone is enough to make me cower away from him.
Finally, we get our turn to leave the class but just as we step into the hallway, another group of guys comes running towards us, hollering.
Friday afternoons are a big thing around here.
I try to find a spot I can burrow my ass into so I’m not in their way when Liam takes hold of my hips and pushes me up against the wall. Someone slams into his back, shoving his body right up against mine.
His body - right up against mine. Sigh.
Something explodes inside of me, like a mini volcano erupting, somewhere close to my ovaries. Pure pleasure blasts through me. All of Liam is pressed up against me. His fingers are digging into my hips. My breasts are flattened against his chest.
I bring my hands up to brace myself and can only grip hold of his sides. Hard muscles beneath my fingertips. I’m about to freak my shit in a good way.
At this rate I’m going to leave an imprint of myself on him.
He places his right arm next to my head to keep from squashing me. Having him lean over me like this is doing something to my heartbeat. No, scratch that shit, all my senses are short-circuiting.
I only feel Liam’s arm around me, the length of his body pressed against mine as he covers me against the wall.
People keep bumping into us but I don’t care. Every time it happens, Liam holds me tighter.
I’m standing in Liam’s arms.
I’m surrounded by his smell, his masculine woodsy scent, something natural, not spicy like most of the other guys drown themselves in.
Maybe I passed out in the toilets from the panic attack and I’m delusional.
Maybe I’ve finally lost it.
Maybe I should stop this shit and just enjoy feeling his hard body against mine.
I’m in freaking heaven!
I can feel his hard muscles under my fingertips, every solid inch of Liam. Heat swirls in my stomach and pushes all the way up to my neck.
“Mila.”
Shit. No! Don’t talk to me now, not while I’m drooling over you.
Dammit, he’s going to see how overwhelmingly aware I am of him. My plan to fly under the radar can’t backfire now. I’ve been doing such a good job of hiding my feelings for him.
I clear my throat and suck in a deep breath, hoping to cool myself down before he can feel the heat waves coming from my body.
His hand wraps around the back of my neck. His thumb skims the heated skin under my ear, sending a lightening streak straight to the spot between my legs. That’s me, I’m done for. No use in trying to hide anything anymore.
He tips my head back and I have no choice but to look into his penetrating eyes. As our eyes meet and lock, a jolt shoots through my stomach.
Aww shiiit. I’m so screwed right now.
Harper always says I should be careful to not wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m hoping that the thing is nowhere near my eyes, because I get a feeling Liam sees way more than is good for me.
Liam~
The guys think I’m crazy for wanting Mila for so long, but I can’t help it.
I believe in fate.
It was fate that Mila came to the same college as me. I believe you can’t choose who you fall in love with, that fate does that for you. Since I saw her that first day, hiding behind Nathan, I was lost. She has always been the girl for me.
It sucks when you can have anybody, except for the one you want.
Mickey wants Harper and I want Mila, yet for some reason these are the two girls we can’t seem to have, and I don’t know why.
Looking down at her, I can honestly say the only reason I haven’t asked her out is because I don’t want to hear that no come out of her mouth. It would crush me.
But today is our last day. I’m all out of tomorrows. I have no other choice but to ask her. I have to take a chance and pray that fate is on my side.
It’s not that I’m scared of a challenge. I mean, damn, I’m going to be studying my ass off for the next three years. It’s definitely not the challenge I’m afraid of.
It’s because she’s so breathtakingly beautiful. She’s kind, shy, hell, she’s everything I want in that mysterious way of hers. Her silky, brown hair falls to just beneath her shoulders. I swear I’m obsessed with this girl.
I rush to class, happy to see her every day, happy when she said no to all those douchebags who dared to ask her out. As long as she said no everything was okay. As long as I could see her, everything was okay.
Everything’s not okay anymore. No more sitting next to her in class. I won’t be seeing Mila tomorrow.
Unless…
Mickey bumps into me again as he tries to get our attention. Time’s up, and I’m still staring at her. But then it dawns on me - Mila is staring back, her cheeks flushed a soft rosy pink.
That’s a good sign, right?
“Hey, lovebirds!” Hunter hollers from the door for everyone to hear. “They’re gonna lock us in if we don’t haul ass now,”
Yeah, I’m going to kill my cousin.
“Oh,” Mila gasps, and the moment is gone. “I-I …” Her cheeks redden some more.
I bite down on my teeth so I don’t snap at Hunter in front of Mila. Instead, I give him a look that tells him to run. I’m going to bust in his face the first chance I get.
I shove the thought of killing my cousin back for now and focus on my girl.
“Are you okay?” I know I should let her go, but instead I cling to her, taking every second I can get.
I don’t want her to think I’m a creep so I move my hand from her hip and let go of her neck, letting them both hang listlessly at my sides.
This sucks. All I want to do is hold her. I should have the right to hold her whenever I want to.
“You keep asking me that today.” She uncurls her fingers from my sides and I miss her touch immediately.
“I do? Is that a bad thing?” My heart spasms as a shy smile transforms her face to that innocent look she always has. Damn, I love that look. It makes her eyes look bigger. I could stare at her for hours, but that would be super-stalkerish.
“I guess not.” She reaches up and tucks some hair behind her ear, giving me a clear view of her face.
“Thanks, for … ahh … ” She points to the side, then wiggles a finger between us. Her cheeks flush again, and I have to admit, this girl is fucking stunning.
“For keeping you from getting squashed?” I help her out.
“Yeah, that.” She bites the inside of her cheek, looking more uncomfortable by the second. “Well...” Rocking forward on her feet, she comes to within an inch of me.
My body feels the pull of hers and I can’t help but reach for her. My fingers curl around her hips and all I want to do is pull her body into mine.
I want to feel every inch of her again.
She feels so good against me. I wouldn’t mind another stampede right about now so we can be squashed against the wall.
I want to hear her breathe my name. Damn, I want this girl with every drop of my blood pulsing in my veins.
She seems to realize how close she’s standing to me and rocks back into the wall. Her gaze jumps to something behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see that Harper is talking to Mickey.
I hear Mila take a deep breath and then she calls out, “Harper.”
Do I make her uncomfortable? Dammit, I hope not. That would suck balls. I deflate at the thought and take a step back.
She slips past me with a murmured, ‘See ya.’
I wipe a hand over my face as Mila hooks her hand through Harper’s arm, smiling brightly.
There’s a stabbing sensation in my heart. I clench my jaw, pissed at myself. I can’t believe I’m fucking jealous of Harper. I want to be the one to make Mila smile. How stupid am I for wanting Mila to hook her arm through mine instead of Harper’s?
I shove past Mickey and slam my arm around Hunter’s neck on the way out.
“Lovebirds? What are you, like two years old?” I hiss, so only he will hear as I force him to walk with me.
He chuckles and jabs me one in the ribs. Everything is a joke to my cousin, and since we’ve enrolled at the University of Chicago, Hunter’s been relentless. It’s as if he’s trying to be the opposite of Blake, his twin brother. I’m only a few months older than them, otherwise we’d be able to pass as triplets. We all have dark brown hair with brown eyes. You can see we’re family a mile away.
Blake wants to backpack through Europe while Hunter and I will be finishing our studies so we can take over Uncle Julian’s law firm in the city.
Uncle Julian is Dad’s older brother and Hunter and Blake’s dad. I can thank my lucky stars that he was there for us after Rosie’s death. It was also Uncle Julian’s idea that Dad opened the workshop here in Bloomington. It keeps him busy, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Mickey’s going to work with Dad, so at least my best friend will be here to keep an eye on my old man.
“You need to get Mila laid before we leave in the fall. Once we start, there will be no time for chicks. You can’t go all loaded, cuz. That shit just ain’t right. It will screw with your head. You’re a walking sperm bomb. One thought of her and you might explode.” He cracks up at his own joke, but this shit’s not funny. I turn into him so my body catches him as I land my fist in his stomach.
He wheezes into my shoulder and I hold him to me by his neck.
“Don’t go talking shit about Mila. I don’t care what you say about me, but you keep your mouth shut where she’s concerned.”
Just then Mickey comes out. His eyes go wide the second he sees the look on my face. I pat Hunter once on the back and push away from him.
Mila’s eyes catch mine for a split-second before I stalk toward the exit.
Blake said he would organize the kegs, so at least that’s one less thing to worry about.
Sadie, Hunter and Blake’s younger sister, is a sweetheart. She’s helping with the rest of the snacks. I’d be seriously fucked without my cousins. Uncle Julian saved our lives when he let us move in with them. He gave me a place to belong again … a family. I’ll never be able to thank him enough.
“You have to tell me how I’m gonna pay first. I won’t set foot near your car before you tell me,” I hear Harper say.
“Okay, babe,” Mickey says. His voice is in full panty-dropping-mode. Harper doesn’t know what she’s in for. He’s going to have her dropping her panties for him before the night is over.
That reminds me, he better take his own truck. No way he’s doing her in mine.
“You have to go out on the lake with me tonight.” Like I said, he has her.
“That’s it,” Harper laughs. “A stupid canoe ride?”
“Baby, have you ever been out at night? You’re gonna beg me to grip you tight. Us sitting under the stars.”
Mickey’s voice has gone all seductive and I can’t help but smile. He’s pulling out all the stops with Harper. I hear Mila laugh and I glance over my shoulder to see her face. She’s focused on what’s happening between Mickey and Harper, a soft smile playing around her full pink lips.
Hunter runs past us, yodeling like a damn mad man. Everything’s already forgotten between us. That’s my cousin, the joker of Bloomington. He’s already in party mode. He almost loses his footing as he takes the corner and slams into the doors up ahead.
“See ya dumbasses later!” he hollers, taking off through the exit. I don’t know where he gets all the energy from. He’s always running.
“Like I was saying,” Mickey continues after Hunter passed through, “then the night swallows us and you cling to me, your nails digging hard into me. You might just remove some skin as we start to make out. You’ll be on your knees and begging me to take you, babe”
Mila suddenly darts past me and beats me to the door. Her face is pale, and there’s no sign of the laughter I just saw behind me.
What the hell upset her?
She gets to the door and shoves at it, but it doesn’t even budge. She’s so small a wind can blow her over.
I lean over her and slam the door once. It pops open and I hate that I didn’t get to savor the moment of opening a door for her, as I’m too absorbed by Mila’s weird behavior.
“Thanks,” she mumbles and then she darts under my arm and out the door.
Fuck, she’s going to leave. This is it.
My whole world spins into slow motion. My breathing speeds up and I feel my heart fracture as she walks away without even looking at me.
This can’t be it. This can’t be the end of Mila and me.
Dammit, Mila, look back!
She hunches her shoulders, like she always does, and only increases her pace. I slam my hand into the door so it bangs open.
I can’t let her leave. I can’t leave us like this. I’ve got to do something.
I swing to Mickey and Harper.
“You’re coming tonight, right?” Harper looks at me, stunned by the urgency in my voice. When she doesn’t answer, I take a step in Mila’s direction. I can’t let her leave without knowing I’ll see her again.
“Harper, are you coming tonight?”
“Yes.” She frowns at me. “What’s up with you dude?”
I don’t care how crazy I look right now, I need to know. “Will Mila come with you?”
“I don’t know. She never goes to parties-” That’s all the info I need to hear to light a fire under my ass. I break out into a sprint, my thumping heart chases down every step I take to close the distance between us.
She’s already halfway to the parking area when I slam through the exit.
“Mila!”
I break out into a full blown sprint to catch up to her. Grabbing hold of her arm, I block her from taking one more step that will take her further away from me.
Mila wipes over her face before looking up at me. Is she crying? When I get a good look at her face, there are no signs of tears. Her eyes look sad, though. Am I sick for hoping that she’s sad about us?
“You have to come tonight,” the words burst from me. I’m about to pull a Mickey on her and drag her to the party if I have to.
“Liam?” Confusion flits over her face.
She really has no idea how I feel about her. How can this girl not know how I feel about her after all these months?
“Everyone is going to be there tonight, Mila. It’s our last chance to be together.”
It’s our last chance to be together.
I’m willing her to see that. I should just grow a pair and tell her. Why is it so hard to tell her, to just ask her to come with me?
She looks away to the side where a bunch of girls are standing, watching this thing between us play out.
I should’ve done this inside, not here where the grapevine of Bloomington can see it.
“I don’t know, Liam. A party isn’t exactly my scene.” She tugs at her shirt, pulling it up her shoulder, but the thing just falls off again. I love the shirts she wears. They always hang down from her one of her shoulders.
Then her words register. It’s not a no. She didn’t say no.
“You don’t have to swim. Just come. Just-” I shove my hands through my hair. The air hisses through my teeth as I expel a frustrated breath.
Bite the bullet. Just do it. It’s now or never.
She squints up at me, the sun catching her eyes. Instinctively I take a step to the right, shading her.
She smiles, a real damn smile. “Thanks.”
A flare of bravery streaks through my chest at the sight of her smile. Screw this, I can do it. I’ll never know if I don’t ask her. Balls to the wall and all that shit.
A gust of wind catches her hair, blowing it into her face. I reach out and finger some strands, brushing them away from her cheek.
Gulping some air down, I just spit it out, “Come for me. I want you there. Come spend time with me.”
There. I said it. It’s done. There’s no taking it back now.
My stomach drops into my balls.
My lungs shrivel to the size of dried raisins, no use trying to even breathe.
A loud heartbeat thumps in my ears as the endless seconds tick down the moment to her answer.
Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips, and it draws my eyes to her mouth. Damn, I’ve had fantasies about that mouth.
“Okay.”
Wait - what? Did she just agree?
“Really?” I squeak like a mouse. Way-to-go. So much for acting all cool when it counts most. Liam, you’re a stupid dumbass!
“Uh … yes.” She says the actual word, yes. My face splits into a home run smile. I’m the first guy to get a yes out of Mila Jameson.
“Liam, what’s up, man?” Mickey yells behind me.
I ignore him and keep my eyes on hers. “Thanks, Mila. I’ll pick you up at five?”
It’s a spontaneous move on my part. It might be the carefree feeling that comes with today being our last day, or because she said yes, but I lean down and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. I just want to feel her one more time.
Her body tenses as she sucks in a breath. Then she brings her arms up between us, and for a second I think she’s going to push me away. But her hands keep going up, past my neck, and my day goes from black and white to 3D fucking multi-colored.
She’s hugging me back. Mila is holding me.
I bury my face in her neck and take in everything about this moment- the feel of her tiny body pressed against mine, the fresh smell of her, the silky feel of her hair against my cheek. Fuck, her hair is soft.
I soak it all in. But most of all I take in the fact that I have to let go of her first. She didn’t push me away.
Screeching tires make her glance over her shoulder, to where Hunter is spinning his wheels. Trust my cousin to ruin another perfect moment for me.
Harper comes to stand next to us and it’s the final thing to break us apart. Mila’s arms slip away from me and she takes a step back.
“See y’all at five,” Harper calls, her eyes on Mickey behind me.
She pulls on Mila’s arm, and I’d like to think Mila would still be standing in front of me if Harper didn’t pull her away. I watch them walk to where Nathan is waiting by his Ford. Just as Mila gets in, she looks back at me, and she smiles.
Hell yeah! She looked back. She smiled.
“She’s got you by the nuts,” Mickey says. He pats me on the back, shakes his head and walks in the direction of my truck.
“Yeah? Like Harper hasn’t been owning yours for the past year,” I call after him. Running, I jump on his back and grab him around the neck.
“Fuck, you’re heavy, get off. You’re gonna break my back, and then I’ll be useless tonight.”
“She said yes.” The excitement hits me all over again. I pump my fist into the air and almost whoop like a douche.
“She did. It’s about time you grew a pair and asked her.”
“Shit, we have a lot to do before we have to pick them up.”
“Hey, lovebirds, get your asses in the truck. Blake just phoned, he needs help moving the kegs,” Hunter hollers.
This is our last few weeks together before Mickey starts to work with Dad. Hunter and I have to move all our shit to the university and Blake will leave for Europe.
This is my last few precious weeks I’ll have with Mila. I have to make them count.