Mila~
I make sure that Harper is asleep before I go look for Cathy where she’s sitting in the kitchen while working on her next article.
“Hey, do you have a minute?” I ask as I go about making myself some coffee.
“Sure.” She looks up from her laptop, giving me her full attention.
“You want more?” I ask, holding the coffee cup to her. She takes it and I quickly make myself another before I sit down at the table.
I take a sip and give her a shy smile. It’s not easy talking about myself, but Cathy always has the right answers, and she’s never pushy.
I think a lot of people underestimate Cathy. She’s small and feminine, but she never backs down from a fight. She once told me that it’s not the size that matters but the heart.
I swallow down a sip and then blurt it out, “I like a guy.”
Cathy just looks at me, waiting for me to go on.
“He’s really nice, Cathy. I had a panic attack and it didn’t freak him out. He’s not like all the other guys I’ve met before. But …” My shoulders drop and I sigh miserably.
“But?” She places her cup on the table and leans back in her chair. “You’re scared of that cult? You still think they’ll come and yank you out of this life and drag you back?”
I nod and feel the burn of tears in the back of my throat.
“I don’t want him to get hurt, Cathy. And,” I take a deep breath to try and control my emotions, “I have to focus on Claire. How can I enjoy life while she’s suffering in the cult?”
“Oh, kiddo,” Cathy sighs and then she reaches for my hand. She gives it a comforting squeeze. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until you believe me. You’re entitled to happiness. You can’t build your happiness around the fact that you might save Claire. She might not want to come with you. Hell, she was seven when you last saw her. You have to prepare yourself for the fact that she might have already forgotten you. You said that most of the women there were happy to live those lives. You are one in a million, kiddo. Not everyone is as brave as you are.”
I swallow back the tears and try to smile but I know I’m not being very successful.
“I want to save my sister so badly, Cathy. Half of the time it’s all I think about, and the other half…”
Cathy smiles at me. “And the other half you spend dreaming about a life with this guy?”
I nod. “It’s amazing how we clicked. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. He’s good. I can feel it, Cathy. I know I’ll be safe with him, but he won’t be safe with me. I care too much for him to place him in harms way.”
Cathy thinks over my words and then she says,” Kiddo, you have to do what your gut tells you. I can’t give you any answers. Do what you feel is right. At the end of the day, only you have to live with the consequences of your choices.”
She’s right. Cathy is always right.
I have to make my own choices.
I’m just about to get up when she says, “With all your climbing through the window because you’re too lazy to use the damn door, you’ve gone and chipped the paint off. There’s paint in the garage. If you’re so insistent on climbing through it, you can fix it.”
I smile remorsefully. “I’ll take care of it this weekend.”
“Oh, talking about this weekend. I’m leaving for a few days. I should be back around Tuesday if I get all the information I need.”
I walk to Cathy and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Travel safely, Cathy.”
“Will do, kiddo.”
If Harper glares at me one more time, I’m going to throw her with the first thing I lay eyes on.
“I’m bo-o-o-o-r-”
“Harper,” I throw my brush at her. “Shut the hell up!”
She falls off the bed, taking half the blanket as cover with her.
“Geez, go to your own room, would you?” I grab my laptop, and with a last scowl in her direction, I climb out of the window. Cathy has threatened to seal it shut plenty of times before. She doesn’t get why we can’t use the front door like the rest of civilization, but I like climbing through the window. It’s my short cut to my tree.
I need to prepare for the interview for Assistant Social Worker and if I have to go to the tree house to get some quiet time, then I’ll just have to.
“Oh, seriously? You’re gonna go to the tree house? You’re fucking twenty, Mila!”
“It’s the only place you won’t follow me to.”
“That’s just … that’s low, even for you,” she says behind me.
I laugh as I swing the laptop bag across my chest and start up the tree.
“Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” I yell back to her.
“Two can play this game, you know.”
“All empty threats. You won’t come up here,” I call down to her. “The day you come up here is the day I sleep with my light off.” And that is the truth. Harper is afraid of heights, snakes and lately big crowds have been making her feel uneasy. We’re a great match, both weird as shit.
“I didn’t say I was gonna climb up,” she growls.
I throw the bag onto the platform and glance over my shoulder just in time to see her take out her phone.
“Hello yourself,” she giggles into the phone.
Shiiit, she’s giggling like a damn sixteen-year-old-hormonal-crazed-teenager-in-love … aww fuck!
“No, Harper!”
She gives me the middle finger.
“You wanna come over?” I watch her do it all, twirling the hair, pouting the lips. You’d swear Mickey was standing in front of her. “No, we’re both at home. Bring the others. We can watch a movie or something.”
She flips me off again the second I open my mouth. I haven’t seen Liam in a week. A whole seven days.
“No, it’ll just be us. No, Cathy’s gone on an assignment,” she practically sings. “She’ll be back sometime next week.”
“Harper!” She flips me off again and I slump down. God only knows how many people are going to come over now.
I hear her flirt with Mickey some more before they say goodbye.
“When the whole town decides to come party here, you will have to explain to Cathy why some drunk dude puked all over her roses.”
She laughs at me. Great, she thinks I’m funny. “Get down, we have to get ready.”
“Na-ah. You invited them, you entertain them. My ass is staying up here. I have work to do.” I give her my best pissed off impression.
Harper gives me one more dark glare before walking back to the house. “Remember what I said, two can play this game.”
“You suck,” I call after her.
“Virgin Mary.” She flips me the bird again.
“Stop calling me that … and stop flipping me off. Who’s childish now?”
“I will if you tell me what happened between you and Liam last Friday. It’s been a week, Mila! Mickey says he’s miserable. You’re no fucking box of chocolates, either.”
“Nothing happened. Let it be.”
“Fine - I will.” But she won’t. She climbs through the window but before she lets the curtain fall, she belts it out, “Virgin Fucking Mary.”
I chuckle as I make myself comfortable, taking out my laptop from the bag. Damn, I should’ve remembered snacks. Too late now.
“You should call her a whore,” Nathan mutters from below.
I lean over the edge to see him leaning against the tree, his one foot propped up against the bark, his arms crossed over his chest. Oh-oh, someone pissed on his battery. Why the hell did he have to come over now? I’m so tired of his moody shit. I kissed the guy once, and it’s been almost five years since. I wish he’d get the message already.
“I have work to do,” I snap. I’ve tried being nice to him, but the guy just doesn’t get the message.
“Why are you friends with her anyway?” he asks, as if he actually has a right to know.
“Ah, that’s none of your freaking business.” I sigh loudly, hoping he’ll hear it and leave.
“None of my business? I thought we were friends,” he snaps. I watch him as he steps away from the tree, kicking at invisible rocks.
“Friends? Are you being for real?” I hate being a bitch but this guy is really working on my last nerve. “Friends would mean that we actually like each other. We’re not friends, Nathan. You’re just the neighbor that won’t stop coming over.”
“We kissed!” he shouts. I flinch back from the volume of his voice. “We’ve been friends since you moved here.”
My breathing escalates at his anger. Maybe I’m taking on too much? This day is just going to shit. I’m not good at confrontations, especially when it’s with a man.
“We kissed once and it was five years ago. I was a confused kid. It meant nothing.”
“Fuck you! You’re nothing more than a fucking cock teaser,” he shouts.
“Don’t talk to me like that!” My voice cracks, my breath hitches and my heart starts to thump heavily in my chest. I was hoping to avoid this fight with him. He’s freaking insane if he thinks we could ever be friends. I never led him on. I even tried to be nice to him for Cathy’s sake, but now he’s taking his creepy shit too far.
Nathan stalks away, but halfway to his house he turns back. He runs his fingers through his already messy blonde hair, then yanks hard at it. When he looks up at me his eyes are pale, watered down.
“And here I’ve been thinking Harper was the easy lay, but I’ve had it wrong all along.”
I stay right where I am, kneeling on the hard wood, my hands in tight fists on my lap. My breaths are mere explosions over my dry lips.
“Say something!” he screams, yanking at his hair again.
“What do you want me to say?” I whisper, just wanting this fight to end already.
“That you’re worse than Harper. Admit it,” he spits. He places both his hands on his head and it makes him look gangly thin. Nathan is tall, almost as tall as Liam, almost six feet. Only he’s scrawny. He doesn’t have half the muscle Liam has. Now that I get a good look at Nathan, he looks pathetically thin.
I hear doors slam and my eyes dart to where the guys are getting out of Mickey’s truck. I need to salvage this before it gets totally out of hand in front of them.
Nathan points a long, scrawny finger at me and continues, oblivious to everyone behind him, “You’re just like the rest of them.”
“Like who?” I keep my voice soft. My eyes dart to where I can see Hunter’s truck pull up. Shit, more people?
My eyes do a wild dance from Nathan to where Mickey and Liam are coming up behind him. Mickey keeps walking to where Harper is coming out of the front door. She hasn’t said a word yet, and that might be a good thing. Nathan will only lose it with her.
Nathan waves an arm through the air, and as he takes another step in my direction, Liam matches it, moving closer to him.
“How much do you ask? What’s Mila Jameson’s price?” Nathan keeps yelling. I wish he’d stop.
I shake my head at him, not even sure I’m fully following what he’s fighting about anymore.
“Come on,” he sneers. “What’s your price, whore?”
My breath slams into my throat. Shit, what did he just call me?
I wait for the darkness to come, but it doesn’t. White-hot anger rages through me instead. I leap from the tree house, a growl ripping its way up my throat. My body slams hard into Nathan’s and I welcome the pain tearing through me as my chin hits his shoulder and my knees knock into the ground.
I don’t think, I just act.
With every ounce of rage pulsing hot through me, I throw my first punch into his chest.
“Fuck you!” I scream at him. “I’m not a fucking whore!”
“Get off-” I slam my fist right into his teeth, stopping his words from coming out, and I feel the pain eat at my knuckles. I only manage to punch him four more times before I’m pulled off him.
“Let me at him!” I scream at the person who dared to pull me off. “You’re an asshole, Nathan! How dare you say that to me!” I yell, trying to get a kick in but my legs are too short. I try to yank free so I can continue to beat the shit out of Nathan.
“That’s enough, Mila,” Liam’s voice is firm, close to my ear. It snaps me out of the rage, and right into a wave of embarrassment.
My eyes dart around, from one shocked face to the another. They are all here, watching me lose my shit.
Mickey, Blake, Hunter, Harper, even Maddy. Damn, by tomorrow the whole town of Bloomington will know I beat up my so called friend.
“Let go of me,” I say softly. When Liam does, I look down at Nathan. Hurt explodes in me. “You know what, Nathan? You’re just another man that thinks he’s a god. You’re nothing but a bully.”
Nathan stares up at me, then he shakes his head before wiping the blood from his mouth.
I hold up my hand when he starts to say something. “You know what? I don’t care what you think. You’re just another fucked up man.”
I don’t wait for his response. I’m done listening to Nathan, running his mouth off about things he knows nothing about. He had no business saying that about me.
I climb through the window and immediately start to look for my sneakers and iPod. I stuff the earphones into my ears and put my sneakers on.
The second the music starts to blast through the earphones, I’m up and out the window again. I ignore everyone and jog right past them. Harper invited them, she can entertain them. I have to run the anger and embarrassment out of my system.
I let the music take me away, my eyes on the road whooshing by under my feet. I keep going, letting my feet decide the turns, the pace, the destination. All I do is keep my eyes on the road.
I don’t know how long I’ve been going when I start to slow down. I’m pissed all over again when I recognize Liam’s street.
“Ugh, of all the streets my traitorous legs had to bring me to his,” I huff, all disgusted with myself.
I turn around to start the run back to the other side of town, only to see Liam standing not too far away from me. I take the earphones out as he approaches me.
He points to his house. “We might as well get some water. I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty.”
“I-I,” Yeah, how about that? This is a whole different level of embarrassment.
“C’mon, Mila, I’m all for training, but it’s Friday. Let’s call it a day.” He walks right by me and across their perfect green lawn. He’s not even out of breath. I’m still huffing and puffing like a dog in heat.
I’m sweaty. I’m smelly. I take a whiff of myself as I start to follow him. “Eeww, downright nasty,” I mutter under my breath.
“What you expect?” I didn’t think he would hear me, but apparently he did. “You don’t run across town and come out the other side looking as fresh as a daisy.”
“Hardy-freaking-har.”
I follow him into the Wright’s double story house, and the first thing that greets me is a painting of a woman’s back. It’s a nude from her butt to her shoulders.
“Hey, there you are. What’re you looking at?” Liam comes to stand next to me, holding a bottle of water in front of me. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I take a few sips. Gosh, I am thirsty.
“Do you like it?” he asks, pointing to the painting.
I take another look at it. “I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
“What do you see?” I ask, curious to know his thoughts.
“A woman’s back?” I watch his throat work as finishes his water.
“I see a naked woman. She’s been stripped bare for all the world to judge.”
I stare at it a little longer, thinking how Liam will soon be leaving. I’ve tried to avoid thinking of it, but, standing here, it’s staring me in the face. I can’t imagine the neighborhood without him. It’s going to break my heart whether we’re together, or not. I care so much about him. What if he meets someone else? God, I’ll die!
“It tells me a sad story, Liam.” I take another sip of my water, trying to swallow the sadness down. “It kinda sucks, because the longer I look at it, the more I think of you going away.” I turn to face him, raising my eyes to his. They’re more intense than usual and I have to force myself to not look away. “But then, you’re going to study. The world is at your feet.”
Okaaay … and on that serious note I do a full one eighty to head out the door again, but he grabs hold of my hand. “You just had water, you can’t run now. Let’s go sit out back.”
I try not to think too much of it when he links his fingers with mine. We’re just friends. I mean, it’s not like I heard from him this week, and after the scene with Nathan, it’s a wonder Liam hasn’t gone all MIA on my ass yet.
We weave through a modern looking lounge. A rusty, blood colored leather suite is decorated with black velvet pillows. Metal art catches my eye. It looks like a wave, but as we pass through the lounge and get closer, it takes the shape of a woman’s hip.
We didn’t walk through the house last week. It’s nice seeing the place Liam calls home.
Liam takes a hard left when the lounge opens up into a passage. I eye another more formal lounge through an open door and a dining room through another. It’s decorated much lighter than the one we just came through, in creams and peach colors.
To my left is the kitchen, but I hardly get a look at it as my arm jerks right. The rest of me follows down a few stairs to where Liam leads me into an entertainment area.
Oh, my freaking word, this place is huge!
There’s a bar along the left side of the wall, lined with all kinds of bottles. I spot green ones, too, and can’t help but smile. There’s a pool table, dart board and flat screen TV in the corner.
“Did the place come with a map?”
“There’s the Mila I know,” he laughs. “No, no map.” He walks us through a double set of glass doors and at first all I see is a carpet of green grass, then the lake.
“Let’s go sit by the lake.”
I knew Liam came from money, but this is a whole different level of wealth. The place is totally gorgeous in daylight.
“How good are you at swimming?” I ask as we get to the pier. If I fall in, I want to know he can get me out before I even set foot near that pier.
“Not too bad. Why, you want to swim?”
I shake my head, taking a step back from the water. “Uh, no, but if I fall in, I want to know you can get me out before I blow my last bubble.”
“I’ll have you out before you blow your first bubble,” he says confidently.
“Is that so? You sound really confident.” That sounded like a dare. What the hell am I busy doing?
He takes a step closer to me. “You want to test my confidence, Mila?”
I shake my head. “No, I’ll take your word for it.”
“So why did you never learn how to swim?”
I dart a glance over the smooth water. I wish I felt that calm inside right now. Why does one little question have the power to rock my world like that?
“I can float on water. At least I learned how to do that.”
I walk out onto the edge of the pier and sit down, dipping the tips of my sneakers in the water. I kick slowly, making drops fly through the air and watch them sparkle in the sun.
Liam sits down next to me, pressing his arm and leg against mine. It’s comforting having him this close to me. I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell him.
“You can float but not swim?” he asks puzzled as he starts to take off his shoes and socks.
“I’m from Utah.” I don’t expect a reply so I launch into the rest, before the memories can overwhelm me. “Cathy has been slowly teaching me how to do stuff.”
I swallow down the memories and push through with the rest. “To make a long story short, where I’m from, women weren’t allowed to do much. Swimming was the last thing on my mind.”
I reach down and take off my shoes. I inch over to the post and grip it tight. I don’t want to fall in. I lower myself slowly into the water, not looking for Liam’s reaction. The cool water laps around my calves, then my thighs. It swallows my hips, and with one shaky breath I spread my arms and kick myself away from the post.
Focusing on the scattered clouds above, I concentrate on evening out my breaths as I beat my arms once through the water to steady my body, and then I still. I let the water take me as I float.
“Cathy figured I should at least be able to float. She’s still going to teach me how to swim.”
Liam doesn’t say anything. He better not pity me. If he reacts anything like Harper, I might just drown myself today. I hear a splash, but I keep my eyes on the scattered clouds, white feathery wisps against the powder blue heaven above me.
Liam~
It’s been the longest week of my life, not seeing Mila every day. When Mickey said we were heading over to her place, I could almost taste the relief.
When we got there, it’s hard to explain how I felt about what went down. I can’t wrap my mind around what Nathan said. I was just about to step in and break it up. I don’t care if they are ‘neighbors’, you have no business talking to another person like that.
But then Nathan froze my ass on the spot with what he said about Mila, and when she jumped from the tree house and kicked his ass, damn, my heart all but stopped. It took me a good minute to get over the shock and pull her off him.
I’m proud of her for standing her ground, but I hate that she got in a fight. She could’ve hurt herself.
And then she decides to go for a run! Damn, who knew the girl could run that far? At least it gave me time to clear my head before we got to my house.
As I swim out to her, where her body is stretched out on the water for all to see, I’m feeling two things - a burning rage towards Nathan, and that prickly warmth that keeps taking a jab at my heart. I just want to hold her.
What she just said about her being from Utah and that women weren’t allowed to do much – it reminds me of the days Rosie and I had to go to the cult. I hate that Mila had to experience any form of oppression in her past. It brings back the old anger and it’s a bitter feeling to keep buried.
“How old were you when Cathy taught you to float?” I say when I get close to her. I don’t care what she tells me as long as we can keep talking about her.
“Gosh … ah … I think I was sixteen or seventeen, give or take.”
“You’re kidding me,” I laugh. “That’s like three years ago. At the rate you’re going you’ll never learn.”
Once the words are out, I want to kick my own ass. She snaps her head in my direction, losing her focus. I grab for her as she starts to sink, panic flashing in her eyes for a second.
“Don’t worry, no bubbles.”
Her hands grab at my shoulders, her fingers digging hard into my skin, and as her legs come around my waist all I can think is what a lucky dumbass that cousin of mine was last Friday.
She clamps her legs around me, and first adjusts one arm around my neck before moving the other to grip hold of my shoulder.
“If you let me go, I’ll come back and haunt your ass,” she threatens, her voice trembling.
“Not a chance that I’m going to let you go. You can relax. I’ve got a tight grip on you, Mila.” I slide my hands from her back to her waist, tightening my grip there.
“Nu-uh. Not letting go,” her voice is growing smaller. Damn, she’s really scared.
“It hurts that you don’t trust me. You think I’ll let you drown?” I keep my voice light, although there really is a pang of hurt in my chest. I want her to trust me, to feel safe with me.
She drops her forehead to my shoulder and brings her one hand to my bicep. “You’re not wearing a shirt!” She sounds shocked as she slightly pulls away from me.
“I normally don’t swim with a shirt on. You’re the only one I know who swims in clothes,” I deadpan. I’m smiling nonetheless. It’s taking her mind off drowning.
“Oh, yeah?” She’s starting to sound breathless and it sends bolts of heat to where my cock is pressing not so unnoticeably against her. This is so not a good time to get a hard-on.
“How did you learn to swim?” Her breath fans against my collar bone. Her lips are a barely-there touch against my skin. I keep my eyes locked on the house, for about another five seconds, then I give in and tilt my face to hers.
“Hunter taught me in this lake. It was the Fourth of July and the whole family was here. Hunter had those wings on and Uncle Julian was already in the water with him … ah, Uncle Julian is Hunter’s dad,” I explain just in case she doesn’t know.
She turns her head slightly and with a ghost of a smile around her lips, she looks up at me. I want her to smile more, so much more. Her eyes move down my shoulder to my arm making circular motions in the water. She’s watching me swim.
I place a soft kiss on her hair before I continue, “I was eight and had this thing about wanting to be better than Hunter,” I laugh at the memory. It was before my mother lost her mind and tore our family apart.
“I insisted there was no way I’d wear those water wings. Shit, did I swallow water that day, might even have swallowed a fish, or two.” I chuckle at the memories. “Everyone had gotten out to eat and I thought I’d show them. I ran down the pier, did a half ass jump off of it and belly flopped. It was one hell of a stinger. Hunter was the only one who saw me. He still had his water wings on, so he jumped in after me and saved my sorry ass. Then he showed me how to swim back to the pier. By the time my dad and Uncle Julian came looking for us, I was swimming on my own, thanks to Hunter.”
Mila tightens her arm around my neck. Her other hand slides from my shoulder to my neck when she whispers, “You were really close back then already?”
“Yeah, those were the good days.”
I don’t mention Rosie and that it’s also one of the good memories I have of her. We were all so happy back then.
Fuck, I miss those days. I miss hearing Rosie laugh. I miss seeing her do cartwheels across the lawn.
It’s times like this – when I’m reminded of losing Rosie – that the hatred I feel for that cult comes back in full force.