Chapter Fifty-seven

It was physically killing me, slowly. So slowly. Watching him with her. He pretended like I wasn’t here in the room, even though I was on the other side, holding her other hand. He acted like he was alone with her.

No wonder she was reliving memory after memory of him because he was filling her head with them! Telling her story after story.

It was working too because her mind was focused on them. Not at first, but what he said would spark a memory in her mind, and I had to painfully sit still while she re-lived it.

I had to do something about it.

She wasn’t thinking of me, and if she woke up after spending over a week thinking only about him, she wasn’t going to pick me.

I had to get in her head to make sure her mind change directions. I could do that.

I focused more on our connection. I was going to force my thoughts into her head. The last memory I have of her was me telling her not to date that guy, and she said I had to make up my mind what I wanted. Well, I couldn’t force that memory into her head.

We spent most of our time together in class. Sure, I was usually ignoring her, but I always knew what she was doing or wanting to know what she was doing.

I forced a memory in her mind of when I helped her in Math when she was by herself and everyone was working in partners, and I had gone and sat next to her to help. I forced another one of my memories in her head, when we were in Art class. It was freshly after she had her memories wiped and human Allie wanted me bad.

Blake was still rattling off a memory they had together when they were young, but as I reached in Allie’s mind, she wasn’t reliving a memory of him.

I swear these problems are getting harder. Who needs fractions? I won’t need them when I’m in Europe. Sitting on the beach, drinking as much liquor as I want. Yep, I wouldn’t need them then.

So what, the value of X could go get fucked.

Wait a sec? Is he looking at me again? I can literally feel it.

She looked over her shoulder. Her eyes connecting with mine for a second.

Yep, he’s staring again. Ignore me and then stare at me? How the hell did that make sense? I hate Math. I hate having this class with him and Ebony.

Why won’t he just talk to me? How hard is it to have a conversation with your mate? He knew I wouldn’t bite him, right?

Zane only cares about one thing, and that’s him. He didn’t have a conversation with me because he just didn’t want to. He simply just didn’t want me.

I wonder what Blake is doing? I really need to break this connection I have with Zane. I swear I knew his every move. I was even tracking his whereabouts at school so I wouldn’t run into him. God, I swear nothing is more awkward than when he is forced to speak to me.

You can tell how much he hates having to do it.

The look in his eyes. The sharpness of his voice.

If he could, he would avoid me altogether.

I need to break his pull over me.

She pulled out her phone. Maybe some hot sex with Blake will do that? Break my need to be near Zane. At the very least it would take my mind off him and maybe for one night I could fall asleep without thinking about him.

She was messaging Blake.

Yep, a night at Blake’s is precisely what I need.

She looked over her shoulders giving me a pointed look. Stop staring, Zane! I swear he knew what his eyes did to me.

She looked down at her piece of paper, and my eyes were staring back at her. She had drawn them without realizing. She quickly started scribbling across them.

Who was I kidding? The only one I wanted to have sex with tonight was Zane, and that wasn’t going to happen.

I smiled. Finally, she was thinking of me. Sure, it wasn’t the best memory, but it was a start, and I was going to keep forcing memory after memory of me in her head.

I didn’t feel like Blake had the upper hand anymore because when it came down to it, everything in her body wanted me. Her heart pumped for me. Her pulse quickened when I was near. I had been keeping her awake every night. It wasn’t him.

 

***

I had thought I knew every detail of Allie’s life. I had been wrong. Seeing it through her point of view was painful. Hearing the doubt in her voice. What she really thought about me. It hurt because I had been so wrong. To push her away. Yeah, I had been wrong.

Sure, I was listening to what dad was saying, but I couldn’t use that as an excuse. She was my mate. She needed me, and I had just, well, took what I needed of her to survive and gave her nothing.

After she told me, she wasn’t fighting the connection anymore, and she kissed me. I knew our connection had bonded.

So, I could easily listen to her thoughts. Like I said, I always made sure I got a good dose of her. Taking what I needed to survive. If I wanted to know what she was thinking, I would reach into her thoughts and get my answer.

If I wanted to know where she was.

Again, I would reach into her thoughts. Get my answer.

Never once did I think she would want the same from me. Never once did I think, fuck, maybe she needs me to survive.

How selfish I was, and how much of a prick I was, was only hitting me now.

For days I had been making Allie think of me, and, every time she did, I got a new and deeper look at how much of a prick I was. God, I was a selfish bastard!

In the last memory Allie had, she was wondering what other women had that she didn’t. She was so fixed on this idea that she was missing something.

She was so wrong. She wasn’t missing anything. Her only downfall was me.

I closed my eyes and, like I had been for nearly two weeks now, I reached into her thoughts. I was so in tune with her mind now that even when I was asleep, I would still be linked with her.

I don’t understand. Where am I? God, my head is aching. Why the hell was my head aching so much? Am I that hungover? I don’t remember anything after the bar. Maybe I passed out?

God, my head.

My head started aching. My eyes fluttered open. She couldn’t be? Could she? I looked at her hand, and sure enough, it moved.

She was thinking. She was waking up.

“Allie.” I got up, standing over her. “Allie?” I kept holding onto her hand. It was when she weakly pulled it from mine, I let it go. Her hand going to her eyes.

The lights would be bright. I quickly went and turned them down.

Blake wasn’t here. He went to go and get food. I couldn’t be more fucking grateful.

“Where am I?” Her voice was dry, and she was squinting. “God, I don’t remember drinking this much.”

“You aren’t drunk.” Well, she wasn’t anymore. “You were in an accident.” I was back standing next to her.

Her eyes went wide at that. “I didn’t kill anyone, did I?” Her hand went to her throat. Her voice was dry and raspy. She looked to be in pain. I handed her my water.

“No, you didn’t. It wasn’t your fault.” I went and sat beside her, taking her hand back that I was used to holding; it was a habit to pick it back up.

Her eyes were on my hand holding hers, and slowly she looked up, looking me in the eye. “Why are you here?”

She couldn’t be serious right now, could she? Did I have to defend myself for being here?

Guess I should start being honest with her. It wasn’t something I normally did. “You were hurt; I wanted to be here.” And that was downplaying it. I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to.

The longest I had been away from her was when I showered and changed in her bathroom. Apart from that. I had been right here. Waiting. Waiting for this.

“I should let the doctors know you’re awake. I’m sure they will want to know.” I reached for the nurse button, but her hand stopped me.

“You should go. I can do that.”

“Allie, I’m not leaving.”

“Again, I don’t know why.”

“Because I’m your mate,” I gritted out. Wasn’t it obvious! I had been going through hell while she slept, panicking I would never hear her voice again. Panicking I would never get to tell her how much I wanted her. “Because you’re all I want! I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to wake up, hoping I would get the chance to make everything right.”

“My head hurts too much to understand what you are trying to say,” she mumbled. I pressed the buzzer.

I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her forehead. “Promise you won’t leave?”

“What the hospital?”

“No. Me.” I pulled back to look her in the eye. “Don’t leave me.”

“How did you even know I was?” Her eyes reflected her question.

Before I could answer, the door opened and in walked a nurse, and before you knew it the room was filled with doctors and nurses, and I was pushed out of the room.

She hadn’t said yes. She hadn’t said no, but I had told her not to leave so that would mean something, wouldn’t it?