Chapter Fifty-nine

ALLIE

I was showered, I was dressed, and I was feeling more human. If it weren't for my head aching, I would say I was completely fine which, according to the doctor, I could go home tomorrow.

The headache wasn’t just going to go away. Apparently, it will take a while for my body to heal, and then it would subside, but there wasn’t much more they could do for me here.

I was sitting crossed legged on the bed flicking through the channels on the television when the door opened.

I frowned. Why was he still here? He hadn’t re-appeared earlier. I assumed he went home. Maybe he had, and he was back?

“You eaten?” Zane said, walking in and sitting in the chair next to my bed.

“Um, not hungry.”

“You should eat.”

I frowned and shrugged my shoulders. I wasn’t hungry. I kept flicking through the channels. Why couldn’t the Misfits be on?

“We need to talk.”

My eyes snapped to Zane. “Why are you here?” I frowned, trying to read his expression. It was masked. “You know I’m fine. You know I’m awake. You would know I’m going home tomorrow. So why are you here?”

Zane looked me in the eye. “I have to tell you something.”

“Ok.” I frowned. Why was he being so serious? That look in his eyes, I had never seen it before. With all the games we had played, never once had he looked at me like that; like he was about to bring up something so serious he needed my full attention.

He gripped my arm, and I got up off the bed. He pulled me into his lap, with his arm going around me.

Zane and I never did close. We never touched, so, right now, my body was on fire at his touch.

His hand rested on my thigh, and his other hand brought my face to his.

“Don’t leave.”

I closed my eyes. It was about that? “I have to, Zane.”

“No, you don’t.”

He was killing me. Touching me. Telling me not to go.

“I can’t be around you. You can’t be around me. It makes sense I leave.” Surely, he knew that. God, it was obvious.

I went to get up, but his grip tightened on me. Keeping me on his lap.

“I love you.”

I frowned. No way I heard that. I turned to look at him. The look in his eyes. The expression on his face.

“I’m not fighting it anymore,” he whispered. “I want you. I love you.” His expression didn’t change. “Do you hear me?”

I opened and shut my mouth. “No. Nope. Not happening.” I pushed his hands off me and got up. I pointed a finger at him. “There are two sides to you. One will say that, and another will stab my heart out for fun or worse, just ignore me.”

“Allie, I’m serious. I’m not playing a game.” Zane got up quickly, standing in front of me. His hands went to my hips, and he pulled me in. “I want you.”

“Sure, you do.” I shook my head. “And tomorrow when you wake up and realize what you’ve done, you will stop talking to me.”

“If I do that, then you can leave, but I’m telling you it isn’t going to happen.” Zane’s hand ran up me, and it was making it hard for me to think.

I shook my head. “Nope, I’m leaving. As soon as I’m out of here, I’m clearing it with your dad.”

“Stop saying that! You aren’t leaving! I’m not letting that happen!”

“Zane, listen to yourself. Are you really telling me you want to spend the rest of your life with me? You can barely have a conversation with me!”

“No.” He shook his head. “No way am I letting you do what you did with Blake. Trying to talk me out of it. Not happening. You’re mine, and you’re coming home with me tonight.”

“What!”

“Tonight. Right now. Get your shit. I’m taking you home.”

“To my mom’s?” I frowned.

“No.” He cupped my face. “I’m taking you where you belong.”

Ok, my brain mustn’t be working because I had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe it was because he was touching me, and it was making my heart pump faster. I couldn’t think straight. Like right now, as he looked at me, expecting me to understand. I didn’t. Where did he think I belonged? Where did he want to take me?

‘My bed, Allie. I’m taking you to my bed.’ His voice flooded my head. Answering my thoughts.

My eyes widened. “I’m not having sex with you.” That would seal my fate with him. Hell, he couldn’t even talk to me before my accident, and now he wanted to have sex! Was he crazy?!

Did men just act on their dick all the time?

“If you want sex, go find someone else. No way are we crossing that bridge,” I forced out. I went to step back from him, but I stepped back into the bed. He took the opportunity to trap me.

‘I want you naked, and in my bed, Allie, and I’m not going to stop there.’ His voice was so seductive, and so alluring. Pulling on everything inside me.

“Get out of my head,” I gritted out and put a hand on his chest, trying to push him back. “Out now.”

‘I know you want me.’ His hands ran up my sides until he was cupping my face, locking my eyes with his. He was towering over me. ‘My bed and you. That’s all I want.’

“If we do that, you can’t change your mind come tomorrow. You will want me more than I want you. You will be sealing your fate with me.”

‘Exactly. So, you know I can’t change my mind.’

“I don’t want you to have sex with me just so you can’t change your mind. Also, get out of my head!”

“I want to lock this in, Allie. I want you. Every day. For the rest of my life. I want to mark you. You have no idea how badly I want to mark you.” His hand pushed my bra and tank top straps off my shoulder, and he lowered his mouth to the base of my neck and kissed it. “Right there.”

“I’m not having sex with you,” I stumbled out. I started to get shaky on my feet. As if he knew he was doing it to me, his hands gripped my hips.

“Fine. We can watch Misfits all night.” Zane dipped his head. “I brought the box set before.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You did not.”

“I came with the intention of getting you back to my place. If I have to dangle Misfits in front of you, I will.”

“You actually brought it? You don’t even like it!”

“I’ll suffer if it means you will come home with me. It might grow on me, seeing you like it so much.” He shrugged. “So, come home with me?”

“How am I meant to get out of here, without being discharged?” I arched my eyebrows at him, seeing as he was coming up with this plan.

“I do have some pull believe it or not.” He smiled. “So, are you coming?”

I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t. I dropped my head, breaking eye contact with him. I shouldn’t do it. Nope. It was a bad idea. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to have sex. If I went with him, there was a chance that would happen. I couldn’t control myself around him. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

‘I’m planning on that.’

My head snapped up hearing that. “Get out of my head!”

He smirked. “Just stop thinking about it and come home with me? I’m not asking you to have sex with me,” he leaned in, his mouth going to my ear, “Right now.”

I took a shaky breath in.

“Come on, Allie. Don’t make me beg.” He sighed. “But I will if I have to.”

“Zane Harris doesn’t beg.”

“I do for you.”

What was with the change? Had I missed something? Clearly, I had missed something because he wanted nothing to do with me when I said I wasn’t fighting our bond anymore. I told him I was ready. He ignored me to the point I was leaving, and now he suddenly changes his mind?

No, not possible.

Just like everything, Zane will change his mind again. He doesn’t want me. History tells the truth. One minute Zane will speak to me, and the next he won’t even acknowledge me.

He said he loved me. If he really loved me, he wouldn’t treat me like that.

He was just panicking because I was in an accident.

‘No, I’m not.’

“Out!” I snapped. “Out of my head!”

“You know you could always reach into mine. Answer your own questions. You think I’m not serious, and then read my mind.” His hands went around my back, and he pulled me into his chest. His arms wrapping around me protectively.

I closed my eyes. He made it sound easy. It wasn’t easy. My hands gripped his shoulders. I could feel him, literally, so I should be able to reach into his mind. I listened to his heart beating, and loving the rhythm.

She’s not going to believe me. I could say it over and over, but her mind is set. Well, what can I do to change it? God, if only she knew how crazy she made me. How much I needed her. Didn’t she know my one fear was her leaving? Had I not made that clear to her?

Her leaving had been what our first fight was over, accepting the fact she would one day just disappear from my life.

My eyes jolted open. I could hear him.

She really thought I was going to change my mind? The only mind changing was hers.

“I can hear you,” I mumbled, shocked. His head snapped down.

“You were listening?”

I nodded my head and looked up. “Our first fight, I don’t remember it.” I wanted him to remind me.

“Taylor had just told me you were leaving. His mom knew from yours. You said your mate was a jerk to Blake, and you were still leaving. We went to the same place for tea. I was on a date. I was furious with you. It was the one time you reached into my mind, and I had felt it coming, so I knew what to think.” His hands cupped my face. “And we had our first fight. Over you leaving.”

I recalled the night now. It was when Dianne and mom thought Taylor was my mate. They were testing me for a reaction. I had given them a reaction but not over Taylor, over Zane.

I nodded. “I was outside when you were yelling in my mind. It is the one time I wished we were face to face so I could read your reaction.”

“Well, you heard my reaction,” he scoffed.

“We’ve had a lot of fights since then,” I pointed out. “Like the one where you accused me of locking you out and planning an attack on your family. I didn’t know my wolf was dying then. That was the reason you couldn’t reach me.”

He cringed. “I was hoping you had forgotten about that.”

It was my turn to scoff. “You really hurt me that night. Ryder said you wouldn’t have meant what you said, but I knew you did.”

“I was angry.” He lifted my head up. “When did you speak to Ryder?”

“I ran into him on the way out. I told him you were my mate.”

He rolled his eyes. “Explains why he wasn’t surprised when I told him.”

I shrugged.

Everything we had gone through had led me to this point. All the fights we have had. All the conversations we did and didn’t have. Him ignoring me. Me declaring I wasn’t fighting the pull to him anymore. All of that led me to this point.

Did I go with him or not? I looked him in the eye. Should I trust him? He had proven one thing to me, and that was he wasn’t trustworthy. If you really loved someone, you wouldn’t put them through all that heartache.

Wiping my wolf.

Not telling me.

All of it.

Someone that loved you wouldn’t do that. Would they?

“Trust me, Allie. Please just once,” he whispered, dropping his forehead to mine. “Give me a chance to prove to you I’m worth a risk.”

Then if I did trust him and he did mean he loved me, what did that mean? That I would stay here and be with him? That meant staying in the pack. That meant taking a huge responsibility. Was I even capable of that? I wasn’t a leader.

Anything I started I usually failed. School. The pack. Family. They all have a failure tick next to them so why the hell was I thinking that he would be different?

I closed my eyes. I would screw this up. I would screw up his chances to be a great leader.

These were all reasons for me to not go. I think I could give a thousand reasons, but I had one reason to go, and that was because I loved him.

Curse the day I ever fell in love with Zane Harris.

“Come home with me, Allie?” He kissed the side of my head. “Trust me just once. I won’t let you down again.”

Say no. Say no. Say no. Say no.

I started biting my bottom lip.

He was asking me to trust him, just once. I could do that, couldn’t I? I was more than willing to not fight our connection anymore so I could just risk it, just once, and come tomorrow if he does anything to warrant me leaving, I would.

“Ok.”

He pulled back. “Really?”

“Yes.” I pulled my hands from his shoulders and looked up at him. “But we are only watching Misfits, and that could be all night because I’m not tired.”

He nodded his head smirking. “Trust me; I’m not going to sleep if you are awake.”

“Well, you have to let go of me, so I can pack my stuff,” I said, smiling when he hadn’t let go of me right away.

He sighed. “Fine.” He took his hands off me and stepped out of the way. “Wait a sec, stand still,” he said, and I did as he asked. He pushed my hair to the side, and I frowned when I felt him take my piercing out. “You can pack now,” he said after taking it out.

I frowned at him. “Why did you do that?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“Because my Allie doesn’t have piercings and your smoking days are over, and you are dying your hair back to brunette or blonde, but not black. You’re threatening as black.”

“And what if I say no?” I challenged him. I had dyed my hair black on purpose because it gave me an edge. I liked how people stepped out of my way. It went with my glare well. So, going back to being a pushover wasn’t something I was seriously considering, but he was saying it like he just laid down the law.

He smirked. “You can’t say no to me.”

I pursed my lips. He was right, I couldn’t. Right now would be the perfect example. Me heading to his house, when every single fact it was going to end badly was flashing bright red and in my face.

Still, I was packing my bag. Only an idiot would do this willingly. Putting their heart on the line to get squeezed. Yep, an idiot. And I was that idiot.