Chapter Fourteen
Cassidy knew she was being a sourpuss. Emily was so excited, so in love with everything they saw, that Cassidy didn’t have to worry about dampening the girl’s enthusiasm, but she was angry at herself anyway. This was reality, and there was no way to change it, so she should try harder to accept it with good grace.
Nice in theory, but harder to put into practice. Will had ordered pizza for dinner, and that had seemed like at least it would be something familiar and comforting, but when it had arrived, the toppings were all wrong, chicken and spinach and weird cheese and vegetables she’d never even eaten before. It hadn’t tasted bad, exactly, but it sure as hell hadn’t been familiar or comforting. Maybe she should have been able to find solace in the familiar company, but all Em could talk about was the city and everything else that was new and different. Even Will, who had become part of everyday life in Lyonstown, was subtly different in his own home. It wasn’t like he’d ever seemed uncomfortable in other surroundings, but the New York condo amplified his smoothness, somehow, making him intimidating again, even when his smile was as warm as ever.
Cassidy lay in bed that night, trying to decide if it was possible that the sheets were even softer than those at the rental in the country, and found herself reverting to her idea of this entire episode as a mirage. A temporary fantasy. She didn’t belong in this fancy Manhattan apartment, and she couldn’t make herself believe that she did. And of course, she didn’t belong with Will Connelly.
But she was in this fancy Manhattan apartment. And Will Connelly’s bedroom was on the other side of the living room. Far enough to give some privacy from Emily, but close enough that maybe Cassidy’s nerve would hold all the way there. Nothing was real, so none of it counted.
She slipped out of bed. She looked down at her old T-shirt and ragged cotton shorts, her standard summer-sleeping garb, and wondered if it was the first time something bought at Walmart had been worn in this apartment. Well, no, she thought as she padded silently to the door of her room. Surely there was cleaning staff, and maintenance people. They couldn’t all wear uniforms.
But thoughts like that were going to get in the way of her progress. This was her mirage, and in her mirage, none of that mattered. She’d slipped out of the constraints of reality, and every careful step she took down the polished hardwood floors of the hall was another step away from those thoughts. She was going to find Will, and when she got there, they wouldn’t have to worry about money, or clothes, or Emily, or—no. None of that. It would just be her and him. And if they could stay like that, at least for a little while, it would be perfect. It would be a memory worth keeping.
There was moonlight slanting in through the huge windows at the far side of the living room, and the cool glow added to her feeling of unreality. She was far in the past, or maybe in the future, or in a magical time when none of her daily concerns really applied. Everything would be okay, as long as the moon kept shining in that way.
She hadn’t followed the tour to this side of the apartment earlier in the evening. Emily had been bouncing all over, practically sniffing the corners like a puppy in a new home, but Cassidy had hung back. It had felt too personal to invade this space. But now, down a short hallway, there were two doorways in front of her. A soft orange light bounced and moved from one of them, and she smiled as she pushed that door from ajar to fully open.
Will sat in a leather armchair next to the fireplace, a glass of wine in his hand. The same one he’d served at dinner and seemed to expect her to enjoy more than other wines? Maybe. He was reading something on a tablet but looked up at the sound of the door.
“Hey,” he said, his voice softer and somehow less intimidating than it had been in the dining room. “You okay?”
“I am.” She took a few steps toward him. The room was spacious, but the walls were lined with bookshelves, not windows. No moonlight. Would the firelight do? “Too bad that’s not real wood burning,” she said, almost to herself.
Will nodded. “I miss making the fires. Just pressing a button doesn’t have quite the same mystique. Still, better than nothing, right?”
Yes. That was the answer. It was better than nothing, and it would do. She found the strength to move forward again, and finally he seemed to understand why she was there. He set the tablet on the table next to his chair and stood up, and she stepped in close to him, near enough that their bodies brushed against each other in interesting places.
He hesitated, as she’d known he would. “This is okay?” he asked, his voice even lower than before. “With Emily down the hall?”
“She’s exhausted. She’s not going to wake up and come looking for either of us.” She stood up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his, just a hint, a suggestion.
“I’m not sure she was ever going to come looking for us at the rental house, either,” he said. “I’m not sure I understand the rules.”
Another stretch, another gentle kiss. “I don’t think there actually are any rules.”
“That’s probably not going to work for me, long-term,” he said, but she could feel his hands hovering beside her, could feel how much he wanted to grab hold. “I like to know what’s going on.”
“I don’t think we need to worry about long-term right now, do you?”
She could see the conflict in his face, and then his hands slid around her back and down to cup her ass. “I guess not,” he murmured, and this time the kiss was real, and deep.
He was usually so calm and relaxed that it was easy to forget he had another side to him. A side that pulled her close, took what it wanted, and danced on the edge of control. She loved that part of him. Maybe she couldn’t match his education or his style or his money, but she could damn well match his passion.
She tangled her tongue around his, shared his breath, and then found enough of a grip in his short hair to pull his head back. His stubble was rough under her lips as she kissed her way back to the smoother skin of his ear. A nibble on the lobe, then kisses and nips to the softer skin just beneath it, too far back on his neck to be stubbly. Their previous explorations had taught her how well he responded to attention in that area, and his muted groan was enough to set her heart racing.
“Is there a lock on your bedroom door?” she managed, and then she was in the air, his hands cupped under her thighs to support her as he started moving. It was only natural to wrap her legs around his hips and irresistible to keep nibbling at his neck. He stumbled a little when she found the perfect spot, and he swore in a soft, needy way that sent a flash of warmth right through her body.
There was a bit of fumbling once they were through the bedroom door, and he needed a free hand to lock it, but the interruption didn’t distract her. She was working on the buttons of his shirt, and the coordination required was almost too much for her. She’d felt his chest before, pressed against hers through two layers of clothing, or bare under her fingers as she’d stolen quick moments in the diner’s back room. But now she needed to see it, needed to taste it. They’d waited long enough, and there was moonlight coming in through the bedroom windows, so nothing counted and everything was okay.
It took longer than it should have to reach the bed, and she pulled herself away from his body long enough to look around the room. “Shit. This is huge. What the hell do you need so much space in a bedroom for?”
She could feel his chuckle through her whole body. “Got to impress the ladies, you know.”
“You compensating for something?”
“I think we should definitely let you find that out for yourself.” And with that she was flying backward, landing on the bed with the duvet fluffing up around her like a splash after jumping into a pond.
She looked up at him as he dropped his shirt and undershirt to the floor. His skin was pale, but not ghostly, and the light dusting of hair she’d only felt before then was blonder than she’d anticipated, just a sheen in the moonlight. She wanted to touch, but made herself stay still, and was rewarded when his fingers fell to his waistband.
And then they stayed there, motionless. She cast her hungry gaze toward his face, trying not to growl with impatience. He said nothing, just raised an eyebrow. He wanted…?
Oh. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head, tossing it to the floor somewhere near his. Her breasts were smallish, but it wasn’t like she’d been wearing push-up bras or anything, so there was nothing she’d been hiding, nothing too shocking about losing the fabric. Nothing at all interesting about her breasts.
Will seemed to disagree, though, because the bastard had pulled his hands away from his pants and was shifting forward, moving toward her, ready to fall onto the bed.
She lifted her foot and braced it on his hard, warm stomach just in time. “Hey,” she said. “You were in the middle of something there, buddy. Don’t get distracted.” A moment of discomfort, then, remembering that she was in his fancy Manhattan bedroom where he generally hosted fancy Manhattan women. Maybe she was doing this wrong, maybe she wasn’t being fancy enough. But he grinned at her and returned his hands to the button of his fly, so she stopped worrying at least for right then.
He didn’t quite put on a show. Nothing too exaggerated, no big shimmies or anything. But he moved with tantalizing slowness, and whenever she could tear her gaze away for a moment and look up at him, he was watching her and smiling.
“You enjoying this?” she asked.
“Hell, yeah. You?”
It was her turn to grin. “Pretty good so far, but you have, like, two seconds to keep up the tease before I take over.”
“You say that like it would be a bad thing,” he said, but he sped up a little, pushing his pants and underwear down over his hips, pausing and lifting for a tantalizing moment, and then dropping them to the floor. She hadn’t realized she was licking her lips until he made a noise, and she followed his gaze to understand his reaction.
This time when he tried to drop down onto the bed, she let him, let him stretch out on top of her, his bare chest warm and hard and perfect against hers. She closed her eyes and got lost in the sensations, his soft lips trailing kisses down over her neck to her breasts. Her back arched instinctively as his mouth closed on her nipple, and she heard herself make a breathless, needy sound that she’d be embarrassed about later. Right then, though, she didn’t care, and she tangled her fingers in the hair on the back of his head, pulled him in closer, savored the feeling of his rough stubble against her sensitive skin.
Her skin rose in goose bumps when he left her breast and trailed his mouth down over her belly, tight with anticipation. His fingers slipped inside the waist of her shorts, and she lifted her hips without further invitation. Too eager, too slutty, not classy, not refined. Those were things for her to worry about at the same time she got embarrassed about the sounds she was making. Sometime later, some time when he wasn’t tugging her shorts and panties down and onto the floor, sometime when he wasn’t easing her legs open with his strong hands, sometime when he wasn’t looking up at her, a devilish glint in his eyes before lowering his head and making her writhe.
She’d been waiting too long. Weeks of foreplay, it felt like, weeks of teasing and anticipation. And now, as sweet as his mouth was, as wonderful as it would be to surrender to his attentions and let him bring her to a climax she knew wasn’t too far away, she wanted more. As good as she felt right then, she didn’t want him serving her, didn’t want to take while he gave. There’d been too much of that already, outside the bedroom; here, at least, she wanted them to find their pleasure together.
“Hey,” she murmured, and then a little louder, “Hey!” When he looked up she said, “Condom?”
He looked puzzled, maybe even hurt, and she giggled before she caught herself. It was just so wrong, his little-boy-lost expression looking up at her from that location. “Do you not like this?” he asked.
Her snort probably wasn’t too sexy. “I love it. It feels great, but I want you inside me.” And then she caught herself. “Is that okay?”
His expression was hard to read, but at least he didn’t look lost anymore. And when he smiled, devilish and sweet at the same time, everything was fine again. “It’s more than okay. I mean, I’d like to come back to this.” His voice was lower, huskier now. “I’d like to make you come apart while I watch and enjoy the view. But it doesn’t have to be right now.”
It didn’t have to be ever as far as she was concerned, no matter how sweet he looked when he was talking about it. She didn’t want to think about letting herself be that vulnerable.
She hitched a little farther up on the bed while he pulled open the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out the foil packet, and when he tossed it to her, a dare in his eyes, she caught it one handed. Her turn? Okay.
“On your back,” she said, keeping it just short of sounding like an order. When he did as he was told, she wondered how much further she could have pushed it. If it had been an order, would he have complied, or rebelled? It might be fun to try that out sometime.
But she shouldn’t let her musings about the future distract her from the all-too-interesting present, so she scooted around on the bed and then gave in to temptation, leaning down for a quick, wet kiss to the head of Will’s cock. His gasp made her want to do more; maybe she wasn’t ready for him to see her go to pieces while he was still in control, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy the reverse situation.
“Hey,” he said, his voice breathless and desperate, everything she wanted to hear from him. She let him pull her along his body until they were face-to-face. “I’m not going to be good for much else if you keep that up.”
And as tempting as it was to think of disabling him like that, to show that at least in this one area she was the person in control, she knew it wouldn’t be fighting fair. It was hard to fight fair when the other person wasn’t fighting at all.
She ripped the foil packet open and only added a slight extra caress as she rolled the condom on. She slung a leg over his hips and hovered above him, teasing both of them with just the slightest contact. His hands came to her ribs, his thumbs rolling up over her breasts, and he whispered, “You’re killing me, Cass. Come on.”
She didn’t give in to his pleas, but rather to the demands of her own body. She’d waited too damn long for this. The stretch was exquisite, the smooth glide of his entry into her body feeling like a homecoming. She forced her eyes open, unsure when she’d closed them, and looked down to see Will staring at her, his pupils so dilated they seemed to have taken over his irises. His fingers had tightened around her as she’d lowered herself, but now they loosened and one hand slid back to cup her ass and urge her to move, while the other stayed at her breast, teasing her nipple.
“God,” he whispered. “You’re perfect.”
She shushed him with a finger over his lips. She didn’t want sweet words, didn’t want him to lie to her just because he wanted to be nice. So instead of listening, she moved, finding a rhythm, working the angle, and letting out a satisfied gasp when Will brought his hand forward and found her clit.
Everything outside that bedroom was still messed up, but right there, right then, just the two of them in the moonlight? Maybe Will hadn’t been lying; maybe he’d just been confused. He hadn’t meant that she was perfect. He’d meant that they were. The way they fit together, the way they could make each other feel. The warmth of his lean body, the confidence in his clever hands, and when she bent over and he stretched up, the desire in his kiss.
She let herself forget everything else, let her body take over and shut down her brain. There were no worries, no past, no future. Just the two of them together, straining, supporting, driving each other higher and higher, both fighting to hang on just a little longer before finally plummeting together.
By the time Cassidy was completely back to herself, they were both lying on their sides, facing each other, their legs entwined. She felt a rush of something too strong, too scary to name, and closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.
“Hey,” he said, and his lips were gentle on her forehead, then her mouth. “You okay?”
She was, and she wasn’t, and she didn’t have the words to explain either side of that dichotomy. Instead, she took a deep breath and built up her strength. She needed to pull herself away from him, and it wasn’t going to be easy. “I have to get back to my room,” she said, and she eased her legs free, then sat up, her back to him. Her shorts would be on the floor, but what the hell had she done with her shirt?
“You don’t have to go yet,” he protested, as she’d suspected he would.
“If I stay, I might fall asleep.”
“And that would be so bad?” He sounded playful, but maybe a little petulant as well. Damn, it wasn’t a good sign that she thought he was adorable when he sulked.
“Em’s asleep now, but she’ll probably be up early. I need to be where she expects me to be when she wakes up.”
“Or we could stop hiding this from her.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d suggested it, but there was something about his voice this time that made her turn and squint at him. “No,” she said firmly. “Absolutely not. This is nothing to do with her.”
“Her father and her almost-mother are—” He broke off, then frowned at her and continued. “Are involved. Her almost-mother is being a pain in the ass about it, but her father is crazy about—”
“Okay, we’re done,” Cassidy said quickly. Desperately, maybe, but he didn’t seem to pick up on that. He was too busy staring at her in disbelief. “This was just meant to be casual,” she said without making eye contact, “and if you can’t keep it casual, then we should stop. So, good, we got this out of our systems tonight. Now it’s time to move on and forget about it.”
“What? Are you kidding me?”
And that was what she needed. A bit of attitude from him, a touch of arrogance in his disbelief. As if it was impossible someone like her could ever resist someone like him. “Nope,” she said, and she slipped off the bed and grabbed her shorts from the floor. If she had to, she’d go back to her room topless, but she’d really rather find her shirt. She half turned, enough that she could see the bed, see his legs, but not have to look at his face.
She saw a flash of gray, reached for the shirt, and just as she touched it, he caught the other side of the fabric. “Okay,” he said. “Fine. I won’t say anything to Em. It’s casual. Got it. Jesus, Cassidy, the room’s not on fire. If you want to go, I won’t try to stop you; just take a second and get dressed. Okay?”
She tugged on the shirt, and after a moment’s resistance, he let it go and she pulled it over her head. Inside out, she realized, but that was too damn bad. “Okay,” she said. “Just don’t forget. Em doesn’t need to know about this.”
She waited for his answer, and finally he said, “Yeah.”
That was enough. She headed for the door and didn’t let herself look back. Moonlight could only protect her so much.
…
Will was used to keeping his emotions under control. He negotiated multi-million dollar deals fairly regularly and had developed a relaxed, nonchalant exterior that actually seemed to influence his interior, his calm expression making his brain settle, too. He was good at that sort of thing. He was focused, businesslike, and disciplined.
Or so he kept telling himself the next day as he, Cassidy, and Emily toured a variety of New York City’s best private schools. He had to keep his mind on the job at hand, and not be distracted by Cassidy’s presence. Well, he could pay attention to her, of course, but only as a part of his campaign to create a new life for Emily in the city. His daughter needed all the advantages New York had to offer, but she also needed the stability of her beloved aunt. So Will could think about Cassidy in terms of finding ways to make her want to give up her world and move into his.
But as soon as he started thinking about that sort of thing, his mind wandered. Back to the night before, mostly: the surprise visit, the even-more-surprising consummation of their long flirtation. He wouldn’t have guessed that insecure, diffident Cassidy would be so confident in bed, but he’d loved it. He remembered being blown away by Pippa, too, but looking back, her enthusiasm began to feel like artifice; she’d wanted to present herself as a free-spirited bohemian, so she’d made sure her sexual persona matched her goal. She’d been wild, but there’d been a calculated edge to it.
Cassidy, on the other hand, was as genuine in the bedroom as she was everywhere else. There’d been no performance, just the true sensuality of—
“NASA?” Emily almost shrieked, and Will yanked his mind back to the present. “Like, real NASA? I could do an internship with them?”
The woman showing them around this particular school was sweetly enthusiastic, and smiled in response to Emily’s outburst, then made a cute little face of reluctance. “It’s a very competitive program,” she said. “And it’s always difficult when a student comes to us from a different educational background. Our students have, in a sense, been preparing for this since kindergarten, and you may find yourself a little behind in some areas.” Another wrinkle of her nose. “Possibly all areas.” Her face brightened. “But we have an excellent tutoring program, with professionals and peers available to help you catch up.”
Emily nodded politely, then turned to Cassidy and mouthed, “NASA!” with an exaggerated lift of her eyebrows.
Cassidy seemed just as removed from it all as she had in the car the day before. She smiled in response to Em’s enthusiasm, but it was polite, not genuine. None of the honesty Will had seen from her when she—
Damn it, there he went again. His distraction was even more frustrating when she was so completely unaffected herself. Had she seen nothing new in him the night before, nothing that intrigued her, made her want to know more? Had it really been as casual for her as she seemed to want it to be for him?
He trailed along behind as the tour moved down to the library, and tried not to look at Cassidy’s ass, tried not to remember how firm the muscles had been, how soft the skin—
Son of a bitch. Maybe he should ask for a tour of the locker room and arrange to have a cold shower.
“Most of our students are day students, but we do have limited residence space for boarders in the upper grades,” the tour guide told him as they stood just inside the doors of the high-ceilinged library, watching a group of about twelve little kids picking out picture books. “Would you like to go across the street and see what the dormitory is like?”
“No,” he said, hoping he was right. If Emily came to the city for school, she’d live with him, or with Cassidy, or some combination of the two of them. She wouldn’t be one of those kids who needed to stay in residence even though their families lived nearby. That had been good enough for him, when his parents had been too busy to want to raise him, but it wasn’t good enough for his daughter. No way. “That’s not necessary.”
He called the driver for the car he’d hired for the day, and by the time they were out of the school, their ride was waiting. “Lunch,” he said as the three of them piled into the back of the car, “and then two more schools. Sound okay?”
“This one has internships at NASA,” Emily said. “You really think we’re going to find somewhere better than that?”
“It’s co-ed,” he replied. “Have you thought about that? Some girls really like their single-sex schools, especially if the girls are interested in science or other traditionally male fields. Apparently, they feel more comfortable participating in class without the boys around.”
Emily shrugged. “It’d be weird to go to school without guys.”
“One of the schools this afternoon is a sister school to the one I went to. They’re just down the street from each other, and we had so many activities together we might as well have been one school. Even some co-ed classes in the last two years.”
“Oooh, co-ed classes,” Emily said as if scandalized. She grinned at him, and he resisted the urge to ruffle her hair. She’d spent a long time getting ready that morning, and he didn’t want to disrupt whatever effect she was going for.
He glanced over at Cassidy, who was watching them talk. Watching the interaction, he realized. Evaluating, judging. Planning her next step based on whatever she was seeing between him and his daughter. Damn it, had the night before meant anything to her? Had any of their time together been real, or was it all just about evaluation and manipulation? He’d been so sure he could read her face, but maybe she was just that good of a con artist. Maybe the strong-but-exhausted thing was all just an act.
No. He couldn’t accept that. Watching her now, as her eyes followed Emily’s every move, he knew she loved the girl and would do anything for her. Absolutely. He knew that because he knew Cassidy. She hadn’t been fooling him.
“Would you guys be okay if a few of my friends came over for dinner?” he asked. “Nothing big or fancy, just—friends. People who want to meet you, and who I’d like you to meet.”
“It’s Friday night,” Cassidy said. “Your friends don’t have other plans?”
“Maybe. But probably mostly with each other, or with people they could bring with them.” He was exaggerating the simplicity of it, but he could make it happen and Cassidy didn’t need to know the details. “But only if it’s okay with you.”
“You don’t need my permission to invite people to your own home,” she said. She got snippy when she was insecure.
“Not permission. Courtesy. If you’d rather I didn’t invite them, I won’t.” But that correction wasn’t going to make her more comfortable about the plan. “They’re guys I went to school with. You already know Trevor, and there’s Silas, and Beckett. A couple others who don’t live in town, so they wouldn’t come tonight. I could get them to bring dates, if you want some female company.” Maybe she’d make friends, and he’d actually achieve something with his plan instead of spinning his wheels, mired in self-doubt.
“That would be fun,” Emily said. “I mean—they probably don’t have kids. But I’d like to meet them, even though they’ll be older than me. You’d like to get to know them, right, Aunt Cassidy?”
Cassidy’s smile was tight again. She clearly didn’t want to spend the evening getting to know Will’s friends, because she had no interest in being part of Will’s life. But she nodded anyway. “Sure. If that’s what you two want, it’s fine with me.”
Not quite the reaction Will had been hoping for, but at least it was agreement of a sort. “I’ll see what I can set up,” he promised. He’d take any victory he could get.