Chapter Twenty
“No!” Roddy bellowed for what felt like the five-hundredth time. “You can’t muscle him around like that—you’re a strong person, and you think strength is always going to be the answer, but the horse is stronger than you. You need to use your brain. Find a way so he wants to obey you, not so he has to.”
Cassidy slumped on the horse’s back, exhausted after a long day of work in the nearly unbearable Texas heat. She knew Roddy was right; he shouldn’t have to be yelling at her, teaching her things she’d known when she was a teenager. Part of the problem was that she was rusty; a year without serious riding had been hard on her muscles and, apparently, her instincts. But it wasn’t the only problem.
She felt a rough hand on her knee and looked down to see Roddy’s leathery face smiling at her. “He’s making you work. That’s good! That’s what makes you learn, a horse who challenges you.”
“I’m sorry I’m not doing better,” she said. This man had taken a chance on her, and she didn’t want to let him down. “I’m kind of—I don’t know. It’s a hard adjustment, that’s all.” Hard to get used to no Emily, and no Will. At least Emily would be out for a visit in another couple weeks, but the other loss was much more permanent.
Roddy shrugged. “You’re doing okay. I can’t fault your effort, that’s for certain. You need to just relax a little, and let things come.”
No, she silently corrected, relaxing was the last thing she needed to do. As soon as she let her guard down, the loneliness hit and the sense of loss threatened to overwhelm her. Relaxing was absolutely not an option.
But neither was arguing with Roddy, so she finished her ride, and then hosed down the horse before taking him back to his yard. When she came back to tidy up the wash area, she reached for the hose, then turned it on herself. Her hair, shirt, and jeans were soaked with sweat anyway, so a little extra water wouldn’t hurt anything, and at least she wouldn’t be as sticky.
She heard a sound from the barn and turned toward it, the water streaming off her soaked head obscuring her vision for a moment. She slicked her bangs back, blinked to clear her eyes, and then blinked again.
“Aunt Cassidy!” Emily screamed, and before Cassidy really knew what was happening there was a teenager in her arms, hugging her so tightly she could barely take the breath she’d lost when she’d seen them.
Them. Both of them. Emily was here, soaking her fancy designer clothes against Cassidy’s T-shirt and jeans, and over by the barn, standing in the shade, looking almost as dazed as Cassidy felt, was Will.
Will. Will and Emily, in Texas.
She forced herself to stop staring at him. Emily had wanted her visit to be a surprise, maybe, and of course Will couldn’t let her jet off across the country without supervision, or without anyone at this end of the trip knowing she was coming. Will was just a chaperone, nothing more. Cassidy needed to get a grip.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she told Emily, who pulled away from her.
“I can’t believe you’re sopping wet,” the girl complained, but she was smiling. Then she took Cassidy’s hand and whispered, “You need to listen to him, okay,” before gently tugging Cassidy in Will’s direction.
She was too confused to resist, at least until she remembered what she looked like, soaking wet and bedraggled. She stopped moving, but it was already too late. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking somewhere over his shoulder. “I’m a mess.”
“You’re beautiful,” he replied, and there was an undercurrent of heat in his voice that Emily was too young to be hearing. Cassidy glanced in the girl’s direction, but she was still beaming.
“What are you doing here?” Cassidy asked. Her gaze caught on his shoulder, and then trailed down the rest of his body. “And what the hell are you wearing?”
“Walmart,” he responded as proudly as if he were naming a designer on the red carpet at the Oscars. “Everything I’m wearing, including underwear, cost less than sixty dollars. Can you believe it?”
“I’ve never seen you in jeans before,” she said. “And—Walmart? Seriously?”
“The boots were a gift,” he admitted, “from the guys, when they heard I was coming out here. But the rest is all from Walmart, yeah.”
“But—” She finally found the courage to look him in the face. “But why?”
He looked back at her, and she was captured by his expression. Nervous, determined, vulnerable, strong. Whatever he was going to say? He meant it, and he needed her to believe him. “You don’t want to dress like New York people and get used to living like that. So, fine. I can dress like country people and get used to living like this. I mean, I don’t think I should have to pretend I don’t have money—we can talk about that, obviously, but it didn’t feel like it was just the money you objected to. There was stuff about it you appreciated, like being able to fix the house or buy Casey, or have a housekeeper—those are fun things, Cass, and I hope you aren’t going to make me give them up. But we can negotiate, okay? The thing is—” He reached for her hands, and she was still too stunned to resist.
“The thing is, I want to be with you. You think things are too unbalanced because I have money and that gives me power over you. But you’ve got to understand—I love you, and that gives you power over me. Being with you and Em, that’s the most important thing to me. Living in New York doesn’t matter. It’s not actually the center of the universe, even if we sometimes pretend it is, but even if it were? I’d live on the far side of the galaxy, if you and Em were living there with me.”
She tugged feebly at her hands, but he didn’t release them, and she didn’t insist. “You won’t still feel—”
“No,” he said firmly. “That’s not something I’m going to be listening to. You don’t get to tell me what I feel, or what I’m going to feel in the future. You trust my judgment, Cassidy. I know you do, because you let Emily live with me. You wouldn’t have done that if you thought I couldn’t make good decisions for her. Well, I can make good decisions for myself, too. And I’ve decided—” He glanced quickly at Em, grinned, and looked back at Cassidy. “We’ve decided that you’re our priority. You’re the number-one goal. So whatever else we have to give up in order to have you? We’re okay with that.”
“But I don’t want you to have to give up anything!” She fought for her arguments, sorting through her bewilderment well enough to say, “Emily was going to go to a great school!”
“You know where the school is that had the highest SAT scores in the entire country last year?” Emily asked, her face alive with excitement. “Dallas, Texas! We’ve got an appointment to go see them tomorrow. They don’t have the NASA connection, but they have internships at Google, and a sister-school in China, and they do exchanges to Australia and France and Germany! Last year a bunch of their students biked across the country over summer vacation. Across the whole country, as a school trip. Isn’t that awesome?”
“It’s…”
“It’s a great school,” Will said firmly. “And if it doesn’t work, there are other good schools in the area. Emily doesn’t have to be in New York to get a good education and have lots of opportunities. That was stupid. I should have caught this sooner.”
“But you want her to be with you,” Cassidy said. She was fighting her excitement, trying to find the flaws in the plan before she let herself believe. “And you need to be in New York, for business. Right?”
“Not a priority,” he said. “I already told you—it’s you and Em I care about.” He saw her expression and quickly said, “I know it’s a luxury a lot of people don’t have. I get that. But I do have the luxury of being able to walk away from business if I want to. Really, I can probably work from anywhere—there’s a lot of money moving in and out of Dallas, and I can be part of that. But if I can’t, that’s okay. I have enough money. What I don’t have is enough you.”
“And if he keeps shopping at Walmart, he really won’t need that much cash,” Emily said with a happy smile.
“I don’t—” Cassidy started. “I mean—”
“Hey, Em?” Will said, and when the girl looked at him, he lifted his hand to his ear and gave it a firm, obvious tug.
“Oh, right!” she responded, and turned to Cassidy. “It’s really hot out here. I’m going to sit in the car where it’s air conditioned.” She turned and held her hand out to Will, waiting until she received the keys, then turning back to Cassidy. “Listen to him,” she said. “And then, whatever happens, can we have dinner? You and me, and maybe-Will-but-he-says-that’s-up-to-you.”
“Okay,” Cassidy agreed numbly, and then Emily skipped off to the car with an energy that suggested she hadn’t really been finding the heat all that oppressive.
The two adults were left standing quietly, Cassidy aware again of her general sogginess, and the way the heat was starting to turn what had been a refreshing dousing into a swampy mess. Will had let go of one of her hands in order to send the signal to Emily, but he’d reclaimed it as soon as he was done, and Cassidy was past resisting the contact.
“I think Emily going to school down here is the best thing for her,” Will said quietly. “She’ll get an excellent education and a lot of extra opportunities, and she’ll be with her aunt, who she loves more than anything or anybody.”
A response would probably be appropriate, but Cassidy didn’t trust her voice, and after a moment, Will said, “And I think moving here to be near my daughter is the best thing for me. I’ll be able to keep getting to know her, and living in Dallas isn’t a complete hardship for me. I’ll probably take trips back to New York for business and to see my friends, but lots of people travel a little on business. It’s not a big deal.”
She nodded dumbly. She wasn’t sure he was being honest about how big a deal the move was or wasn’t, but she supposed it was his decision to make.
“The only part that I don’t really know about is what’s best for you,” he said. “Of course you love Em, so I know you’ll be happy to have her close to you.”
“I’m—I’m thrilled by that, Will. I really am. Thank you.”
He nodded as if there was nothing to thank him for. “For me—” he started, then stopped, then let go of her hands and stepped backward. “No pressure,” he said. “No conditions. Emily should move here, and I should move with her. That’s been decided, and nothing that happens from now on will affect that decision. Clear?”
She stared at him, and somewhere, deep inside her soggy breast, a tiny flame flickered to life. This was Will. Determined to be responsible, and respectful, and kind, but also completely ready to fuck her senseless in the back room of a small-town diner. Control and passion, perfectly balanced, and he was about to make a suggestion to her, one that maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to accept. “Clear,” she said, her throat tight around the word.
He nodded, then said, “I love you.” His eyes never left hers, his gaze burning into her with a fervent intensity. “I want to be with you. I won’t suggest marriage again, not yet, not until you’ve relaxed about everything and completely believe me. But on any terms you want, I’m yours. We never really dated, and I’m happy to do that if you want. Or it’d be great if we got a place together, the three of us, somewhere with excellent air conditioning and maybe room for the horses.” He looked around, suddenly suspicious, and said, “At some point you’re going to have to tell me what you’ve done with my goat.”
Her laugh was too high, too shrill, and she clapped a hand over her mouth to retract the ugly sound, but he gently pulled her hand away. “It’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m in for as much as you have to give.”
Everything. She had everything to give, as long as she was brave enough to take a chance. Could she do it? Standing there staring at him, hearing his words…how could she not do it?
“I love you,” she managed, and then her voice failed her but it was okay, because they were kissing and there was no more need for words. Cassidy pulled her hands free of Will’s and lifted them to his face, locked them around the back of his neck, and held on. And he didn’t resist. He just kissed her back, and it felt like a promise, like she was giving and receiving an oath. She didn’t know exactly what they were swearing to, and she was sure there’d be lots of negotiating still to come, but she was agreeing to the big idea. The details would be taken care of; her answer to the big question was a strong, absolute “yes.”