Chapter Eleven
Will stayed at the diner long enough for Cassidy to get over her awkwardness, so it wasn’t that hard to see him that night at the rental house. They’d shared a moment of insanity, but it was over with and they could just ignore it and go on with their lives.
There was no reason for her to be watching him as closely as she did that evening as she and he and Emily sat in front of the huge fireplace in the great room. No reason to notice the way his dress shirt was perfectly tailored to his broad shoulders and narrow waist, or to imagine the strength in the hand that held a delicate wine glass so naturally. No reason to have to force herself to go to bed when she knew she should, shortly after she got home, and no reason to lie awake as long as she did, listening in vain for steps in the hallway outside her door. No damn reason at all.
So she told herself that night, and again the next morning at the diner as she served the breakfast crowd and tried not to whirl toward the door every time it opened. It had been a mistake, and she’d been right to stop it from going any further. She just needed to forget about it.
And that task was made a little easier when Will didn’t come by the diner all day. She spent some time worrying about that, of course, wondering whether she’d offended him and what the implications of that might be, and then some time realizing how vulnerable she was and reminding herself that this was the main reason she could never have a real relationship with him. He held all the cards, and she needed equality. Which apparently meant the only chance she had at love would be to find another man who was as completely without cards as she was, which probably meant she’d have trouble respecting him, which almost certainly would lead to her being alone forever. Maybe she should get a dog.
She drove home that night tired even though Seth and Emily had both been there to help with the dinner rush. Emily was in a good mood, talking about Seth with enough enthusiasm that Cassidy thought she’d better find time for some girl talk in the near future. Crushes were fun, but there were rules Emily needed to know about. It was entirely possible Cassidy should spend some time reviewing those rules for herself as well. Don’t let your heart overrule your brain was definitely an important one.
But her inclination for practical things disappeared when they walked into the house and Will greeted them from the library he’d been using as his office. He had a fire going and only a desk lamp and the glow of his laptop screen for additional light. The shadows fell in strange angles over his face, emphasizing his jawline, and Cassidy wanted to press her lips against the skin there. Would it be as warm as it looked?
She jerked her mind back to the present as Emily brushed past her and crossed the room in four big steps to hug her father. They were hugging now? Cassidy had missed that.
“I did what you said,” Emily told him. “And I think it worked! He didn’t actually ask me, but it felt like he was thinking about asking me. You know?”
“Nice job,” he told her. “Shy people are tricky, but they’re worth it.”
“He’s totally worth it,” Em agreed, and then she turned and saw Cassidy’s face. “Aunt Cass?” She took a half step forward. “You like Seth, right? If he asked me to the dance, that’d be okay?” She turned to Will as if looking for guidance, then swivelled back to Cassidy. “There isn’t a no-employee-dating rule, is there?”
Seth? Emily had been talking to Will about Seth? Cassidy made herself speak. “There’s never really been a need to think about employee dating,” she managed. “But, no, I don’t think we should have a rule against it. Do you?”
“I do not,” Emily said with a return to her high spirits. “I have to go call Riva. She’s going to flip.”
And with that, Emily was gone. Cassidy thought about following her. She needed to get herself under control, but Will didn’t give her the chance.
“She mentioned it in the car this morning on the way to school,” he said cautiously. “Nothing big. Just a boy she thought maybe she liked, and a dance she hoped maybe he’d take her to. I suggested she bring the dance up in conversation, just as a casual thing. Did I screw up?”
“No,” Cassidy said. She meant it. He’d done fine, and this was a positive step in an important father-daughter relationship, and she was petty and selfish to feel whatever it was she was feeling. “It’s good that she’s coming to you with things like that.” Good that she was coming to someone. Sure, it always would have been Cassidy before, but— She turned away. “I’m going to bed.”
“Wait.” She didn’t turn around, but she could hear him approaching. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, and closer. Too close. “It was just because I was there,” he said. “It wasn’t like she deliberately chose me. I happened to be there when she was thinking about it.”
“You didn’t happen to be there,” Cassidy made herself say. Then she turned around. “You decided to be there. You’re spending time with her. That quality time you were talking about, not her doing her homework in a diner booth while I’m working.”
“I was driving her to school, Cassidy. I mean, yeah, I guess I’ve decided to be here, rather than in New York, but this wasn’t a huge bonding session. I was just being a chauffeur. You’ve driven her around lots of times.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. Not a big deal. Not a sign that she was losing Emily.
“You wanted this,” he persisted. “When you decided to track me down, it was because you wanted Emily to have some adult backup, someone for when you couldn’t be around. This is just your plan working.”
“I hate my plan,” she said, then grinned wryly. She needed to get over herself. “I don’t mean that, not really. It just stings, I guess. But it’s not a tragedy.”
“Not even close,” he agreed. And then he stood there, still watching her, evaluating.
“What?” she demanded.
“How open are you to another little—blip? Is this a good time to talk about it?”
“Oh my God, what now?”
“That doesn’t actually make it sound like this is a good time.”
“Well, it’s the time we’ve got, because I’m not going to just walk out of here with that hanging over my head. What did you do?”
“Well—technically, I don’t think I broke any rules. I did consult you on this, in a way, and I don’t think you absolutely said no. Technically.”
“Will. What did you do?”
He took a deep breath. “I bought a horse,” he confessed.
She stared at him. It was suddenly hard to breathe. “A horse?” she whispered.
“Casey. I told Trevor to track him down, and he found out Casey was already for sale, and the price—I was thinking we were talking, like, hundreds of thousands. But the price was pretty reasonable. Well, I have no idea if it was a good price, I don’t know anything about horses, but it was low enough that even if it was a bad price it’s not a big deal. So we just—I just—bought him. He’s in the barn, now.”
“Casey’s in the barn. Here.”
“And he’s probably kind of lonely, so if it’s okay with you I’d like to have Rich—the guy who looks after the place—go over and pick up Finnegan and my possible-future-goat tomorrow morning. It’s not a big deal for me and Emily to keep stopping by the old place each day, so if you’d really rather not bring the animals over, don’t worry about it. But then will we need to get another goat to keep Casey company? This seems like we could end up with a lot of goats if we’re not careful.”
“Casey’s down in the barn right now?” She knew she was being stupid, but she didn’t want to get caught. She didn’t want to believe, and then be let down. Maybe she’d misunderstood something.
But Will nodded. “Yeah. You want to go see him? Make sure he’s tucked in or whatever?”
“Yes,” she said quickly. If Casey was anywhere near, she wanted to see him.
“Okay, great. But before we go, can I just quickly check—you’re not mad about this? It’s not another example of me poking my nose into things that don’t concern me, or taking over your life or whatever?”
“It probably is,” she said, already heading for the door. “I’ll be mad later, maybe. But right now, can we just go see Casey?”
He followed after her, and she tried to keep herself from running as they headed out the front door and down the long driveway. She needed to calm down. Casey was on the property, but he wasn’t her horse, and the goat trade was a ridiculous idea. None of this was permanent.
She stopped short, and Will jerked to a stop beside her. “What?” he asked.
None of it was permanent. It was just a temporary vacation from reality. She didn’t really have Casey back. She didn’t really live in this luxury estate. It was all just a dream, a mirage, a fantasy.
So maybe she should take advantage of the unreality and enjoy herself a little. Say yes instead of no.
She grinned, and she felt as if her body was actually getting lighter. Will was right there in front of her, bewildered but still beautiful in the moonlight. She moved quickly, before she lost her nerve or came back to her senses, and reached up to grip the back of his neck and pull him down for a hard kiss.
He was too surprised to kiss back well, and she didn’t have the right angle to control things. Besides, her horse was waiting for her. So she pulled away, her body still singing, and slid her hand down to grab his. “Casey’s here,” she told him, and he nodded dazedly.
“Let’s go,” she ordered, and they jogged the rest of the way to the barn without letting go of each other’s hands.
…
It probably hadn’t been smart. Almost certainly wasn’t a good idea. Reckless, even. But Will didn’t care. He stood back and watched Cassidy reunite with her horse, the big animal dropping his head over the woman’s shoulder and nibbling on her shirttail as she hugged his neck, and Will was sure he’d done the right thing. Probably even for the right reasons.
It wasn’t like he’d been trying to buy Cassidy’s affection. Not that he’d be sorry if things worked out that way, not at all. But his motivations had been more pure than that. He’d seen her suffering, and he’d been able to do something to make the suffering stop. What kind of asshole wouldn’t step in for something like that?
“He got fat,” Cassidy said over her shoulder. “They only had him for a couple months, and he got fat! Weren’t they working him?”
“I don’t know. He was for sale, so I guess they weren’t? Maybe they got busy.”
She frowned, stepping back a little. The horse watched her for a moment, then ducked his head back into his stall and grabbed a mouthful of hay before swinging back around and hanging his head over the door. Cassidy took another step backward, into Will’s space, and when he eased forward, she didn’t move away. Instead, she relaxed against him, and he wrapped his arms gently around her, clasping his forearms and trying to ignore how close his hands were to her breasts. “Other than being fat, he looks okay?”
“He looks great.” She leaned back into him. “I can’t believe he’s here.”
“And it’s okay if we bring the other guys over tomorrow? I want to start training my goat; the internet says they’re pretty smart.”
“We are not making that trade,” she said, and she pushed out of his arms and walked back over to her horse. “What the hell would you do with a goat?”
“What the hell would I do with a horse?” he retorted. “They’re all just pets, right? I don’t ride, so a horse is no better than a goat to me. But to you, a horse is way better. You don’t even like goats, and I think I do, so this is a logical deal. Everybody’s happy.”
She shook her head, but there was something wistful in her expression. She wanted to be convinced, he could tell, and he’d find a way to do it. But he didn’t think it would be a good idea to push right then. “I guess riding in the dark probably isn’t safe, huh? But you could take him out—” He stopped. When the hell could she take him out?
She half smiled at his realization. “He needs to be worked. A couple hours a day, really, for him to be at his full potential.” She patted the horse’s neck. “It seems like his old owners weren’t doing that, so it’s good you got him back. We can try to find a better home for him, and hopefully you won’t lose too much money on the deal.”
What? “You want to sell him again?”
“Want to?” She seemed a bit frustrated, but not really angry. “Letting Finnegan sit around as a pasture ornament who gets ridden when Emily feels like playing cowboy is one thing. He’s a sweetheart, but he’s not much of a horse. But Casey—Casey’s a star.”
“Does he want to be a star? Will he actually be unhappy if he isn’t working hard, or is it just you who wants him to do more?”
She frowned. “I put a lot of hours into training him; he should have a chance to show that off.”
“So you’d be unhappy if he doesn’t get ridden a lot, but you’ll also be unhappy if you have to sell him. And don’t even try to tell me you won’t, because I’m not blind. You love that horse, and you want him around. So, really, if neither situation is perfect, why not hang on to him, and then maybe someday you’ll find time to ride him, and everything will work out great.”
She half turned and buried her head in the horse’s mane. “You’re such an optimist,” she muttered.
He wanted to argue with her. He could give her a step-by-step plan for getting to the destination she seemed to feel was unreachable, and it would absolutely start with selling the damn diner for whatever pittance she could get and finding a job with regular hours that would allow her time to have a damn life. But it wasn’t the right time to suggest that. Possibly it would never be the right time if the suggestion was coming from him, but maybe he could plant some ideas with Emily…
Was that unethical? Would it be manipulative, using his daughter unfairly? He watched Cassidy for a moment, she and the horse having some sort of communion, and decided it wasn’t unethical enough for him to worry about. A bit manipulative, sure, but with good intentions, and it wasn’t like Emily wouldn’t benefit if Cassidy had more free time. And everyone would benefit if Cassidy’s new job just happened to be in the city.
It was a good plan, he decided, and took a few steps toward the reunited friends in front of him. “Can I pet him?”
“He’s your horse!”
“He clearly disagrees.” But Will reached out anyway, patting the warm, soft skin of the animal’s neck, and then letting his arm fall gently onto Cassidy’s shoulders. “I’m glad you’re okay with this,” he told her.
She half turned so she was facing him. “Trevor says I need to get better at saying yes.”
“To me, right? Not to Trevor. It’s generally best to say no to Trevor, at least right off, until you know what he’s actually after.”
“To life, I think. To…to good things that might happen.”
“Is that right? So, if I asked if I could kiss you, what would you say?”
It took a while for her to answer, but when she did, he felt as if she was answering more than the question at hand. “Yes,” she said softly.
It was his favorite word. He leaned down before the sound had died away and claimed her lips. With guaranteed permission he was less restrained than he’d been in the diner, and certainly more prepared than he’d been on the driveway. Not too much, don’t scare her away, he told himself, but when his hand found the small of her back and pulled her in tight against him, there was no resistance.
Her lips were so soft, and when they parted, letting his tongue nip inside, she was so warm. He could get lost in this woman, this kiss, the heat of her body against the cool of the night. Happily lost, and hiding from any search parties.
The shove caught him by surprise. Something soft but strong, right in his rib cage, and he staggered sideways before turning to glare at Casey. Will might not know horses, but he was pretty sure this one was pleased with himself for nudging the silly human off balance. “A goat wouldn’t do that,” he muttered.
“A goat would absolutely do that,” Cassidy corrected. “Only she’d probably hit you a little lower.”
“Really?” He shook his head. “No, my goat won’t. She’ll respect my privacy.”
Cassidy stepped back a little. “Maybe Casey was just trying to remind us that there’s a girl in the house who might be wondering where we’ve gone. Who might even come looking for us.”
Right. Because Will was a family man, now. And as much as he’d like to continue things with Cassidy, he couldn’t regret the reason she had for stopping. “I really think we should talk to her,” he suggested.
Cassidy jerked away from him. “Are you serious? Will, we’ve been over this. She’s thirteen! Her twisted little brain will have me walking down the aisle in a white dress in no time, and then she’ll be disappointed and confused when that doesn’t happen. No. This—whatever this is, or whatever it turns into or doesn’t turn into—it’s nothing Emily needs to know about.”
It made no sense to feel disappointed, but apparently Will wasn’t too worried about making sense. “You’re sure? We could tell her it’s just starting out—”
“I brought a guy home two times, probably three years ago, and Emily still asks about him. She seems to think he stepped out to the store for milk or something, and will be back any minute.”
“Where did he go?”
Cassidy huffed at the diversion. “He moved to Chicago for work. He’s not coming back, and Emily really should be able to accept that. But she’s a kid, and a romantic. Not someone you want to involve in your hookups.” She stepped forward then, forceful Cassidy back in command. “And that goes for other women you’re with, too. Sure, it would be more confusing with me, but she still doesn’t need to meet—”
“Okay,” he interrupted, disgruntled. It was nice for a woman to not jump ahead to a big commitment, but Cassidy was taking things a bit too far in the opposite direction. It was like she was looking forward to getting rid of him, which was hard on the ego, and maybe even on the heart. “I’m not seeing anyone else. I have no plans to start seeing anyone else. But, fine. Emily doesn’t need to know. Whatever happens between us, we’ll keep it discreet.”
“For real,” she said firmly. “None of your ‘I accidentally bought a horse’ crap, not when it comes to this. You don’t ‘accidentally’ tell her anything, understood?”
She was practically jabbing him in the chest with her finger. The mother bear was back, the lioness was at full strength—the mom was in charge. He wondered why he found it so hot. “I promise,” he said. “Any chance we could seal the bargain with a kiss?”
“Is that how you normally do business?”
“Normal?” He shook his head. “There is no normal anymore, not since I saw the DNA results. Everything’s new.” It was true, he realized. True and important. And another important thing? “I like it,” he told her, and he meant it.
She gave him a long look before she nodded, then stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the check. “Sealed with a kiss,” she said.
“That wasn’t quite what I had in mind,” he growled, and she raised an eyebrow at him. A dare, and one he was more than happy to accept.
He moved quickly, spinning her around so her back was against the stall. It felt perfect to lean in, to pin this infuriating woman in place for once, and even better when he felt her back arch as she sought more contact. Their mouths met in a clash of want and need, his desire matched by hers, and he wanted more, so much more, right there in the barn or anywhere else she might be.
He would have taken it, too, but the hands braced on his shoulders started pushing him away instead of pulling him in, and he leaned back to see her eyes wide and her lips parted in a gasp that turned into a word. “Emily,” she managed, and he made himself shift away. He felt a little better when she brought her fingertips to her lips and murmured, “Holy smokes. But Emily.”
He took a deep breath that sounded a little shuddery when he exhaled. “Right. Emily.”
Her nod was tremulous on the first head bob, determined by the second. “Okay.” She turned back to the horse and her tense face relaxed into a happy smile that made everything worthwhile. “Sleep tight,” she told Casey. “We’ll bring you a buddy tomorrow.” She glanced over at Will, her nose wrinkled in distaste. “And a goat. Sorry.”
“Hey. Watch what you’re saying about Eliza.”
“Her name’s Nanny.”
“Not anymore. My goat’s going to be a lady. Eliza Doolittle. That’s her new name.”
“She’s not your goat,” Cassidy insisted as they headed for the door of the barn. “We are not trading a well-trained, purebred Quarter Horse for a scrubby little goat. No.”
“You just can’t see that goat’s potential. She will be mine, Cassidy.” Safer to be insistent about that than what he really wanted to be insistent about.
“Trevor said we should have a trust for Emily in case you got obsessed with chinchillas,” she mused as they walked toward the house together. Their hands brushed occasionally, but he didn’t try to catch hold. “But I’m thinking maybe he should have been more concerned about other livestock.”
“Maybe I’ll be obsessed with chinchillas, too,” he told her. “But first I’ll have to learn more about them. We don’t even know if they’re rodents.”
“Well, ‘we’ like you and me? We don’t know. But I think humanity knows. They aren’t a mystery species or anything.”
“That’s less interesting, then. I thought I could maybe be a scientific pioneer.”
She peered up at him, and he wished he had a camera. The way she looked now, with her brow unfurrowed and her eyes dancing, just the hint of a smile on her lips? He wanted to find a way to make her look this way all the time. “Are you having an early midlife crisis?” she teased. “Are you thinking about throwing away all your business-whatever and becoming a farmer or something?”
“Animal trainer,” he said quickly. “I think that’s the future.”
“Not a lot of money in it,” she replied, and it occurred to him that she was speaking from experience. The way she’d reacted around Casey, the pride she’d taken in his accomplishments, whatever the hell they were—she’d never acted that way about the diner.
Cassidy had once had dreams, and the world had taken them away from her. But there was no reason she couldn’t have new dreams, and absolutely no reason he couldn’t be the one to help her make them come true.