Chapter Nine
Saturdays and Sundays the diner opened for brunch rather than breakfast, so they were Cassidy’s days to sleep in, if waking up at seven thirty counted as sleeping in. That Saturday she rolled over, stretched out in sheets softer than any she’d ever imagined could exist, and took a moment to feel like a princess.
This could be what Emily would have for the rest of her life, she realized, and it was a thought that made her swing her feet out of bed in a burst of restless energy. Emily could have this, and would have this. Emily’s life had changed forever the moment Cassidy hit “send” on that stupid email. No, not stupid. Because this was better for Emily. It was just Cassidy who was being left behind.
But not yet, she reminded herself as she shuffled into the kitchen and found Emily already there, drinking the freshly squeezed juice that had become a favorite. “I made pear-mango-raspberry, with a bit of honey,” she announced. “I think it’s the best combo yet. Want me to make you one?”
The smart answer was no. It didn’t make sense to get used to things she wouldn’t be able to afford once she was out of the Will Connelly bubble. But she nodded anyway and perched on one of the stools at the kitchen island while Emily bustled around, happily tossing ripe fruit into the juicer. Cassidy watched and tried to calculate how much her glass of juice was going to cost. Not just the fresh fruit, at the peak of ripeness and almost certainly organic and whatever else rich people wanted in their food, but the top of the line juicer, the tall glass it was going to be poured into, a glass that looked too effortlessly refined and simple to be anything but expensive… It truly was another world.
Emily finished her task, tossed a couple of fresh raspberries into the glass for garnish, and handed it to Cassidy with a flourish. Emily often made breakfast for Cassidy on weekends, so it was stupid to feel as if this was symbolic, somehow. Stupid to think of this as just one of many little treats the girl would be able to bestow upon her poor, ignorant aunt in the future.
Cassidy took a deep swallow of the juice and pushed to her feet. She needed to get out of her head, and out of this kitchen. “Do you have plans for today? You coming to the diner with me, or hanging out here?”
She knew the answer even before Emily’s slightly guilty smile. “Is it okay if I stay here? I haven’t really explored much yet, and Becky and Riva want to come over and hang out. Becky’s mom said she could drive. Do you need me at the diner?”
“No, I can get by. You have fun.” Another quick swallow of the juice. It was tempting to take the glass with her to the shower, but what if she knocked it over or something? She took another big gulp, then set the glass down, an inch of juice remaining. That inch probably cost more than whatever Cassidy would end up having for lunch. “I’ll see you tonight.”
She was almost out of the room when Emily’s voice stopped her. “You’re okay, right?” the girl asked, and Cassidy turned around slowly.
“What do you mean? I’m fine.”
“You’re not really happy, though, are you? About Will. About living here.”
“It’s not about being happy,” Cassidy tried. She was pretty sure she was being honest, although possibly with a limited perspective. “I’m not totally comfortable here, no. I mean, at your age, you’re having sleepovers all the time, hanging out at your friends’ houses, all kinds of visiting. But it’s been quite a while since I’ve slept anywhere but my own bed, or made food in someone else’s kitchen. It’s just an adjustment.”
“So you’re not sad about Will? You’re not worried about him taking me away or anything? Because he told me he’s going to make this work for all three of us. That’s his top priority, he said.”
Cassidy managed a smile. The words were apparently comforting to Emily, even if they made Cassidy want to run away screaming. Will thought it was his responsibility to take care of everything? He was going to make things work? What the hell did that mean? “Everything’s fine,” she told Emily. “You have fun today. But if you can help me do prep tomorrow afternoon, that’d be good.”
“Sunday afternoon prep,” Emily agreed. “Can’t mess with tradition.”
A hell of a lot more than tradition is about to be messed with, Cassidy thought as she headed for the luxurious bathroom attached to her bedroom. She might as well enjoy the calm while it lasted.
…
Will was up early Saturday morning for a breakfast meeting with a few stakeholders in the Achterberg deal. Funny how important all of that had seemed only a week or so ago. His interest in it had faded almost entirely away, now, but he went through the motions, made sure everything was on track, and then had a quick meeting with the wills and estates specialist at Trevor’s law firm. He’d made his wishes clear over the phone, so there wasn’t much to do but read things over, ask a few questions, and sign.
Then, lunch with Victoria at her favorite restaurant in Midtown. The breakup went as smoothly as he’d known it would; Victoria would never make a scene in public, but she also genuinely didn’t seem to care that much. Her cool remoteness had always been an asset—she’d been a partner more than a lover, and dissolving a partnership didn’t have to be an emotional event.
He and Victoria had been a good pair. Both of them calm, controlled, and focused on their goals. Now Will was giving up on all that, diving into a world of emotional chaos. Had he lost his mind?
Then he thought of Emily. Thought of Cassidy. And he knew he’d made the right decision.
He had a few other errands to run that afternoon, so it was already dark by the time he got back to Lyonstown and pulled into his spot across the street from the diner. The closed sign was on the door, and the lights were dimmed, but he could see Cassidy inside, running a mop over the floor.
This was her Saturday night, and she was mopping the floor after a long day on her feet. He watched her stop and lean on the mop handle for a moment, then start moving again. She was running on determination alone.
Any anger he’d still felt toward her was gone as he crossed the quiet street, then rapped on the glass door with his knuckles. She looked up, startled, and he saw her schooling her expression into whatever it was she’d decided she wanted to show him. Cautious resentment, apparently.
She unlocked the door, at least, and as he pulled it open he said, “I’m sorry,” before she had a chance to start with anything less peaceful. “I absolutely should have asked you before I messed around in your business. My intentions were good, but my execution was rotten. I apologize.”
She stared at him for a moment, then turned back to her mopping. “I might have been a little rotten, too. I was—I don’t know. Whatever. I’m sorry.” A few mop strokes before she said, “You promised Emily you’d find a solution that made all three of us happy,” she said without looking at him. “I’m glad to see you’re trying to keep your promises to her.”
“I’ll make the same promise to you, too, if you’ll let me.” This wasn’t in the plan, but it felt right anyway. He needed Cassidy’s trust. He’d had it for a little while, cautiously granted, and he’d blown it. He wanted it back. “I promise to—”
“No.” She turned to look at him now. “You don’t owe me promises or anything else. Especially promises you can’t keep.”
“Well, I disagree with you on two counts, there. One, as far as I’m concerned, I owe you more than I can express, for raising Emily into the fantastic young woman she is today. And, two, I disagree that I can’t keep the promise I made to Em.” He watched the emotions passing across her face. Cassidy Frost would be a disastrous poker player. “But, okay, let me make you a different promise.” He waited for her to object, but she watched him cautiously instead. “I promise to be much better about talking to you. Discussing things with you instead of just doing them.”
She took a deep breath as if gathering strength, then said, “And does that include whatever stuff you came up with while you were in the city? Trust funds and wills and schools and whatever? You’re going to discuss those with me, or you’ve already done them?”
Well, shit. She’d busted him pretty quickly. “I haven’t done anything with schools,” he said. “I got some information and made some preliminary inquiries. And technically I did the will and trust fund stuff before I made you this promise. But I’ve arranged for Trevor to come up and walk through it all with you, and then with Emily. I’m not sneaking around, I promise.”
“You’re big on the promises, aren’t you?” But she didn’t sound like she was criticizing him or looking for a fight. She just sounded heartbreakingly tired. He should remember that and have more conversations with her at the end of the day instead of the start, when she still had energy to fight. Or maybe that was a bit too cynical.
“What did you want to go to school for?” he asked, stepping carefully over the damp area of the floor and retrieving the bag of napkins from its spot under the counter. He felt her eyes on him as he walked to the first booth and started filling the dispenser. “You said you were going to leave town to go to school but decided to stay when Emily came along. What were you hoping to study?”
For a long moment he thought she wasn’t going to answer, but by the time he’d reached the napkin dispenser on the second table, she said, “Biology. I wanted to be a vet, but that’s a lot of school. Even without Emily I wouldn’t have had the money for that.” She was mopping again, and he kept working as well.
“You like animals, huh?”
“No. I hate them and figured I’d enjoy seeing them when they were sick and injured.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. With the cats and the horses and the goat and whatever, obviously you hate animals.”
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” She was half turned toward him as she rolled the mop bucket along the floor, and he could see the little grin on her lips.
Will made himself focus on the napkins. There was no reason for him to be so pleased by this development. Cassidy had made a little joke, that was all. She was being friendly; they were getting along—it was good, sure, but not good enough for him to be feeling almost giddy.
“What else do you hate? Movies, music, books, hobbies? I know you’ve been too busy since Pippa—sorry, Penny—got sick, but before that, what did you do with your free time?”
Cassidy started mopping a little more vigorously. “I hung out with Em, mostly. When Penny was alive, generally whichever of us wasn’t at the diner was with her. We’d both be here during the day usually, for the lunch rush and doing some prep, and then one of us would be home with Em in the mornings, the other would be home with her in the evenings.”
“But Emily has friends, and does things away from home. There must have been some time when you weren’t at work and weren’t with her.”
Cassidy nodded slowly. He could tell she was reluctant to share too much with him. He couldn’t see how he could ever use knowledge of a hobby as a way to hurt her, but apparently she wasn’t so sure. Finally she said, “Riding. I used to love to ride horses. Train them. Even made a bit of money from it. Not enough to make a living, but—a bit.”
“Casey,” he said slowly. “The horse you sold. I thought he was Emily’s, but he was yours?”
“No,” she said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “He was just a family horse. Emily liked him a lot.”
“But you sold him, and not Finnegan?”
“We wouldn’t have gotten much money for Finn, and we weren’t sure whoever we sold them to would actually keep them together anyway. So we sold Casey, kept Finnegan.” She was quiet almost long enough for him to think it was time for another question, and then he realized she’d stopped mopping and was staring into the murky water of the bucket. “When the trailer came to take him away,” she said, her voice breaking, “Casey was whinnying and kicking at the trailer, like he knew what was happening. And Finnegan threw a fit in the paddock, running after the truck. Em tried to go after them, too, and I had to hold her back and she was crying and fighting me—”
She turned suddenly, heading toward the back room, keeping her face turned away from him. “God, you must think I’m such a—”
If he’d thought about it he probably wouldn’t have done it, but his body moved before his brain kicked into gear. He stepped into her path, let her run into his chest, and wrapped his arms around her. Not too tight, not enough to restrain her, but hopefully enough for her to feel—warm? Safe? He didn’t know, and as he felt her body tense, he was pretty sure she was about to pull away.
“I think you’re strong,” he whispered. “I think you did what you had to do to look after your family. I think you have feelings, and it’s been too long since you’ve been able to let yourself feel them, so they’re spilling out now, sometimes.” He felt her relaxing, at least a little, and kept going. “I understand how it must be frustrating when they spill out around me, since you don’t trust me all that much or know me all that well, but please know that seeing you get upset doesn’t make me think less of you. It just makes me think you’re human, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Her face was still tucked in so he couldn’t see her expression, but the top of her head was resting against his chest, and he felt the gentle vibrations when she groaned, “I’m a mess.”
“You’re not.” He had to stop himself from kissing her. Not a passionate kiss, just a comforting one, probably to the top of her head. It felt right to do it, but he wouldn’t trust his instincts, not when they’d already gotten him into too much trouble. No steamrolling, no comfort-kisses without explicit permission. He’d gotten away with the hug, at least so far, but he’d better not push his luck much further.
“I hope they’re taking good care of him,” she said quietly, and it took him a while to remember she was talking about the damn horse.
“I want to buy him,” he said, and as he expected, she pushed away from him, swiped impatiently at her eyes, and glared.
“What? Why would you want to buy a horse?”
“For Emily. You said he was a family horse, right? So if you tell me who bought him, I can go and buy him back, and the family will have its horse again. Casey will have his buddy, and you can get rid of the goat. Hey, maybe we could trade. I could buy Casey, and then trade him for the goat. I think the goat is pretty cool. I absolutely want him.”
“What would you do with a goat?” He could feel her sense of humor being activated. Maybe that was going to be the secret. Make her see the absurd side of things.
“Well, he’d be my goat, so I guess I’d do whatever I wanted with him. Maybe I could teach him tricks.”
“He’s a she. Nanny. And honestly, do you have any idea how much a goat costs, compared to a horse like Casey?”
“You’re driving a hard bargain, here…”
And finally, even with her face still damp with tears, she laughed. Just a quick snort, but it counted. “It’s too much,” she said. “You’d have to pay more for the horse than you paid for the roof, probably. Quite a bit more.”
“Really?” This was getting interesting. “Why’s he worth so much?”
“He’s got good bloodlines, and he’s well-trained. He’s only been to a few shows, but he’s been in the money at every one.”
“You trained him. He’s not a family horse, then.”
“Yeah,” she admitted. “So, no, you shouldn’t buy him for Emily. She doesn’t really ride all that seriously—they’d just irritate each other. But it was a nice thought. Thank you.” And with that she was back to mopping, clearly expecting Will to get back to napkin-stuffing.
He did return to his task eventually. But first he took a moment to send an angry, baffled thought toward Pippa, who’d stolen his daughter from him and enslaved her own sister, robbing young Cassidy of her dreams for no good reason. How different would things have been for everyone if Will could have been involved from the beginning?
Sure, he’d have been young, and maybe not a great father because of it. But he could have at least contributed money, enough to let Cassidy go to school and keep her from having to sell her damn horse. He imagined that scene, when Casey was driven away, and he added in the part that Cassidy hadn’t mentioned. The horses kicking, Emily crying, and Cassidy, trying to be strong through it all, trying to keep a grip on everyone else as she watched her last dream being carted away from her.
Yeah, there were lots of reasons to resent Pippa’s selfish decision. And Will was pretty sure he was starting to feel at least as much anger on Cassidy’s behalf as on his own.