Chapter Ten
Derek woke up before the sun on Christmas Eve. He’d tossed and turned in his bed, with thoughts of Izzy keeping him awake. All night, he’d entertained dreams of exploring her soft, creamy skin with his hands and mouth only to wake up alone and frustrated. Several times, he’d gotten up and started up the stairs to knock on her bedroom door only to go back into the parlor and sit with Atticus. It was safer for him to stay downstairs. She’d put on the brakes twice now. It had to be on her terms or not at all. In a matter of days, she’d be gone, but Derek wasn’t ready for this to end.
After everything was said and done, he wanted to take her out on a date, see where she lived, and what could grow between them. He was scared to death, but he wasn’t an idiot. When a woman like Izzy came around, you didn’t let her walk out of your life without a fight. He hoped the dresses he’d wrapped and left on her bed had brought a smile to her sweet face.
He dragged a hand through his hair and got off the couch. His back ached from scrunching in a ball so the dog could spread out. He needed a shower before getting to work in the kitchen, but first, he wanted to see what the company he’d hired had done with the front lights. He opened the parlor door just as Izzy was walking by in a hip-hugging sweater and snug jeans. Warmth traveled from his core to his pelvis. His hands had been under one of those sweaters she always wore, and the compact curves that were hidden beneath it drove him mad. Had anyone died from wanting?
She stopped and pivoted toward him. “I came down to thank you last night.” A gentle smile bloomed over her face, and a pang struck his heart. This was more than just lust, more than carnal desire coursing through his veins. “You were cozied up with Atticus.”
Izzy stepped forward, came up on her tippy-toes, and kissed his cheek. At her touch, his limbs lightened, and the warmth that had spiraled through him earlier rose into a tight ball of heat in the center of his chest.
“Thank you.” Izzy’s voice cracked, and she glanced down.
He took her chin and lifted it tenderly so he could see her eyes. They were glassy with tears ready to fall. “It was just a gift.” He smiled to put her at ease.
“Not to me. I wasn’t expecting anything. Let alone something so…thoughtful.” Her voice wavered. He shouldn’t touch her, but his hands wrapped around her despite the warning bells in his brain.
“You’re not used to surprises, are you?” The fact that she wasn’t made Derek want to spoil her.
“Not like that,” she murmured. Her breath tickled his neck, and the hairs on his arms prickled in response. He needed fresh air to clear his head before he did something stupid.
“Let’s take a walk outside.” He gripped her hand and led her to the front door, walking past the coatrack and straight outside. For the first time in a decade, the path to his home was illuminated by golden lights. They walked down the steps, and Derek took Izzy’s shoulders and turned her to face the castle.
“What do you think?” he asked in a low voice against her hair. It was still dark out, and thousands of lights glimmered on every shrub and tree that flanked the house. She tensed under his hands and drew in a sharp breath.
“It looks like a fairy tale.” Her voice sounded slightly stunned, and Izzy leaned back against him. Suddenly, every penny he’d spent on the last-minute installation seemed completely worth it. They stood for a few moments just taking in the lights that made the stone facade glow with grandeur. He rested his chin on the top of her head. She might have been fascinated by the lights, but he was more interested in drawing in the honeyed scent of her hair and the way her body fit neatly against his.
“You were right. The house did need some extra attention for the holidays. I’ve let it go, like a lot of other things, because the memories can be too hard.” Derek moved his hands from her shoulders to wrap around her. “That’s going to change.” He wasn’t ready for the moment to end, despite the biting cold.
“Would finding her give you closure?” Izzy asked.
“I’ve thought about it. But then again, maybe it’s better to enjoy the nice memories we had instead. She might’ve had a reason for leaving—maybe she met someone and started a new family. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, I guess.” Derek found comfort in the warmth of her body, and Izzy shivered in his embrace.
“I should’ve given you time to get your coat,” he said. “Let’s go in before we both get hypothermia.”
They walked back in hand in hand. The foyer was like a furnace compared to the outside. “I’m going to grab a shower. Then I’m at your service in the kitchen.”
“I’ve been up for a while, so there’s not much left to do besides some sugar cookies,” Izzy said, rubbing her hands together to warm them.
For the first time, he noticed the dark circles brushed underneath her eyes. She’d been working hard to pull this all together.
“Why don’t you go up and rest. I can handle the cookies,” Derek offered. He wasn’t sure if he could, but it didn’t seem fair to let her do it all—even though she pretty much already had.
“No. I’m all right. I’ll get Atticus something to eat while you’re in the shower. Then we can meet down here for Baking 101.” Izzy smiled at him. For some reason, the notion thrilled him.
“As long as you’re sure.” He paused for a moment and then kissed her forehead. What the heck, in a few hours, they’d be officially in a long-term relationship anyway.
He showered in record time and pulled on clean jeans and a long-sleeved Henley before going back down to find Izzy.
She was in the kitchen, laying out baking supplies on the island, with Atticus at her feet. What would it be like to find her here year after year? Would she grow tired of him, of the isolation of the house, or could they continue this easy rhythm? It shook him to the core that he could no longer picture the house without her in it. His father had fallen recklessly for his mother. Was he on the same path to destruction? Did he secretly hope Izzy would stay and lighten his otherwise dreary world? It was a lot to expect. She’d been here less than two weeks, and other then the stolen kisses that had snowballed into an all-consuming need inside him, she hadn’t expressed any feelings of emotional attachment toward him.
“That was lightning fast,” Izzy said as she measured out two level cups of sugar and poured them into a large silver mixing bowl.
“Well, I didn’t want to miss anything.” He smiled at her, and she laughed. It was a beautiful sound, one the walls of the home had rarely heard until her arrival.
“You can soften this butter in the microwave.” She handed him a ceramic bowl, and he popped it in for thirty seconds, checked it, and put it in for another ten. When he handed it back to her, she dumped it into the bowl with the sugar. While she measured out other ingredients, he followed her instructions and cracked eggs into a separate bowl. It would’ve been much quicker to buy the premade tube kind, but he liked watching her concentration as she put the recipe together. Once all the ingredients were blended, she covered the mixing bowl.
“What now?” he asked, leaning against the island.
“Now we wait. The dough needs to chill for an hour before we can cut it into shapes.” She started cleaning up the bags and jars of baking supplies she’d pulled out.
“I can think of a few things we can do while we’re waiting.” He flashed her a grin, and she blushed deeply. He wasn’t expecting the puff of flour that followed.
“I’m sure you could.” She laughed and held the bag of flour in front of her like a shield.
“Did you just start a food fight with me?” He shook his head but couldn’t stop his lips from curving into a wide smile.
“I was keeping your mind out of the gutter.” She shrieked and tried to run from him as he snatched the bag of sugar, pitched it forward, and watched white granules sprinkle down on her. She spun around and chucked the contents of the flour bag in his direction before dropping it and bolting. He swiped flour off his face and shirt, chased after her, and caught her around the waist. They both were laughing and breathless. Had he ever had more fun than when he was with her? In an instant, they both leaned in, crushing together in an urgent kiss. She pressed her hips into his, and he groaned and clutched her tighter. This was madness, and it was driving him insane. Her tongue met his in a desperate dance.
“Tell me what you want, because in a second I’m not going to be able to stop.” The words came out as a low growl as her hands dipped under his shirt.
“You. This,” she said through quick breaths and nipped the tip of his chin. He yanked her against him and backed her toward the foyer stairs. Derek cupped her face in his hands. She was so unknowingly beautiful it made his pulse pound beneath his skin. He plunged his mouth back against hers before she could protest, and pushed her up against the rail when her fingers lifted his shirt and trailed along his bare hips. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a car door slam. Derek pushed it away, unable to think of anything but Izzy.
A moment later, the front door whipped open. “Surprise! We’re early.” Janet’s high-pitched voice barely resonated in his brain, but Izzy shoved him back. Shit. They couldn’t have had worse timing if they tried. Derek wanted to slam the door and tell them to come back in an hour, but the mood was apparently dashed for Izzy. She looked like someone had pitched a snowball right at her face.
“Well, I guess there’s no doubt she’s real.” Janet gave Derek’s father a sidelong glance and Mary, Janet’s adopted daughter, covered her mouth to suppress a laugh. They stood there expectantly, hands overflowing with bags and boxes tied up with ribbon.
Derek gripped Izzy’s hand, squeezed gently, and led her down the stairs. “Everyone, this is Izzy.” He could tell she wanted to curl into a ball and disappear, but she took a breath, stepped forward, and smiled.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’d hug you, but there was an incident in the kitchen.” She lifted her arms and glanced down to where flour from his body had stuck to hers and sugar clung to the material of her sweater. It earned a hearty chuckle from his father.
“It’s great to meet you,” he said. “We’ll just go into the parlor while you two clean up.”
When they disappeared down the hall, Izzy blew out a breath.
“Talk about first impressions.” She grimaced.
“Another thirty seconds, and they would’ve gotten an eyeful.” Why did his family, who was perpetually late for everything, choose today of all days to be early?
“Janet’s daughter would’ve needed a counseling session in her stocking,” Izzy said.
They both chuckled as they walked up the stairs. Derek stopped in front of Izzy’s room.
“You’re not going to invite me in for a second attempt, are you?” He raised one arm to lean against the doorframe. Had he missed the opportunity for good?
“I think everyone’s had enough excitement for one day.” Izzy swept her fingers over her hair, and a trickle of sugar sprinkled down on her shoulders.
“I should’ve told them to leave the gifts at the door and scram.” His body ached from wanting her. It was a type of need a cold shower or a brisk walk outside would never fix.
“Shhh.” She shushed. “Not so loud. What if they overheard you?”
“Then maybe they’d take the hint and hit the road.” He gave her a crooked grin. What was happening to him? Teasing, smiling—where had this version of himself been hiding?
She swatted at him playfully and stepped closer. “That’s not very nice.”
Derek cupped her backside with both hands and pulled her in for a deep kiss. A week ago, he would’ve told himself it was completely wrong to get involved with a woman he’d just met, and his employee at that. Now, it was the first thing in years that had felt right.
“Stay in my room tonight.” He remembered the immediate reaction she had when he nibbled her ear, and he found the same spot again with his teeth. “Don’t make me beg.” Her sharp inhale tickled his ear.
“Maybe…” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and wiggled out of his hands. She turned and twisted the knob to her door, then glanced back at him.
“I’m not playing games or hard to get. You know that, right? It’s just something I don’t take lightly. I can’t,” she whispered.
His heart rate kicked up a notch. “Izzy, have you ever?”
She shook her head, and a flush crept up her neck and cheeks. A thrill coursed through him. He’d almost been her first. God, she was innocent, vulnerable, and he’d almost taken her against the stairs like a savage. No wonder she’d put the brakes on so many times. She must have been frightened to death in the hotel room when his hands were wandering all over her skin.
“Come here,” he murmured and wrapped his arms around her. He took a moment to breathe in her hair and enjoy having her close.
She tipped her chin up and looked him in the eyes. “It’s not a… I mean, would you still want to?”
“Yes.” He didn’t tell her that now he was scared, too. Afraid of hurting her or being hurt. He could be undone by her. “It doesn’t change how much I want you, but you have to be sure. If you come to bed with me, I want it to be your decision.”
She nodded and stepped back. “We shouldn’t keep your family waiting any longer.”
Derek knew when he was being dismissed. He leaned in, pecked her cheek, and waited for her to slip inside her room before walking to his own. He spent a few extra minutes picking up the clutter and making up the bed just in case. Now it seemed like every little detail mattered. They needed to talk about what would happen after the holiday. He knew what was in his heart, but he’d learned he shouldn’t assume where Izzy was concerned.