Chapter Seven
“Derek?” After twenty minutes in the rental car, Izzy had finally worked up the nerve to ask him about the night before. He’d been gone when she woke, but the weight of his arms had still been imprinted against her skin. He’d held her all through the night as she’d struggled with her feelings. She hadn’t let things go further in the hotel room, not because she was some kind of prude, but because so many thoughts had clouded her mind. What if he laughed at her lack of experience or woke up in the morning filled with regret? A text on her phone told her he’d gone to pick up the car and left her to get some rest. Oh, she could still feel his lips, hot and sweet against hers. His kiss had crossed her mind nearly a thousand times since she’d awoken, and each time, a strong pulse coursed through her.
“Hmm?” His eyes flickered across the car to meet hers.
“About last night. I was wondering if—” Izzy desperately wanted to know if he was really interested in her or if it had just been the strange circumstances.
“It was my fault. I drank too much and made a mistake.” He directed his eyes back to the road as her heart plummeted like a rock into a river. Here she was ready to pour herself at his feet, and the night hadn’t meant anything to him. She wound her hands together in her lap. She’d hung on every endearment he’d whispered. It had only been liquor-fueled lies to get in her pants, not because he was attracted to her, but because she was there and available.
Thank goodness, she hadn’t given in to the urge to leave sensible Izzy behind for one night and make Derek her first. She was always cautious, and for a good reason. Her mother hopped from man to man, chasing happiness that didn’t exist. She needed to get a grip on reality and stop living in a fantasy.
Part of her wanted to scrap this whole charade and go home to her apartment where she was invisible and content, but her hands were tied. Gram’s happiness was at stake. The problem was, she’d never intended to develop such a crush on her employer, and now her heart was on the line, too.
They drove in uncomfortable silence for a few miles and passed a sign for Silver Acres half buried in a mound of snow. If only she could visit. Gram was always the best source of comfort and advice—only she could never tell her what she was doing. Then she’d know Izzy was having a hard time keeping her head above water with the payments.
“Hey, isn’t that where your grandmother lives?” Derek looked over at her, and she nodded. Her breath hitched in her throat when he put his left directional on.
“What are you doing?” She tensed up. Of course, she’d love to see Gram—just not with Derek.
“We’re here. Might as well stop by.” Derek turned the wheel and started up the hill that led to Silver Acres.
“Let’s not. Gram’s probably busy, and we have to get your house ready. Besides, we’re in day-old clothes—”
Her secret financial woes were about to topple over like a house of cards.
“And it sounds like you don’t want me to meet her.” He parked the car in an open space in front of the sprawling community building.
“It’s not that. It’s just…” Izzy let out a breath and fidgeted with the strap of her seat belt. She really didn’t want to admit to this wealthy bachelor she was broke. “I help Gram with her rent check. It would break her heart to know I’m having trouble with the payments each month, and she can’t know I’m working.” She prayed he’d put the car in reverse and drive back down the hill.
“So that’s why you took a temp job over the holiday. Why you agreed to pretend to be strapped with the likes of me. It’s all to support your grandmother?” Derek’s lips parted slightly, and his expression softened.
“Well, I’m certainly not doing it for my health,” Izzy said and looked away from Derek’s steady gaze.
“And here I thought it was because you found me so charming.” Derek’s lips curved into a grin, and the result was devastating. Brooding, he was the most attractive man she’d ever seen, but when he smiled, it was like the world had stopped rotating.
Izzy let out a short laugh. “I suppose that’s a joke.” Another car pulled up beside them, and two adults pulled a gaggle of kids from the car along with some balloons and a store-bought cake. It always warmed her heart to see families together. Did they know how lucky they were?
“If you say so.” Derek opened the driver’s side door, and before she could say anything, he added, “I understand what you’re doing, Izzy. It’s…really noble. I’ll say we’re friends. We are, aren’t we?” he asked and stared at her, waiting for a reply.
“It might be easier if we just keep things professional. After last night—” Izzy didn’t want him to think he could string her along. His quick brush off when she asked about the kiss had hurt her more than she cared to admit.
“All right.” His smile disappeared, and he broke eye contact, got out of the car, and shut the door. Why did he suddenly look annoyed and disappointed? He was the one who’d said it was a mistake, after all. “Come on, let’s go see Gram,” he said when he came around to the passenger side.
If her body were glass, it would’ve shattered. Izzy was tied up with tension, and her muscles froze. She’d never brought a man to meet her grandmother before. What if Gram got her hopes up and assumed Izzy was going to settle down? Gram would ask if they were in a relationship later on when she visited alone. But by then, Izzy’s tenure would be up, and she would have to relive Derek’s embarrassing rejection of their kiss. Then there was her childhood. Gram was bound to tell Derek some horrifyingly embarrassing stories.
Izzy whipped out her cell phone and texted Gram.
Coming in for a visit. Bringing a friend. No photo albums.
Hesitantly, she dropped down into the sheet of snow that still covered the parking lot.
“For someone who’s so close to their grandmother, you sure don’t seem excited to be here.” Derek raised his brow at her.
“It’s not just the financial thing. I don’t like to disturb Gram now that she’s seeing someone. She met Mr. Johnson at bingo, and she’s head over heels.” Another reason she couldn’t tell Gram that the payments were killing her. Who was she to break up two lovebirds?
“So you’re afraid you’ll walk in on something you won’t be able to unsee?” Derek chuckled.
“My mind hadn’t even traveled down that road, but thanks for making things weird.” Izzy rolled her eyes at him, and Derek pulled open the door to the front of the building. In the elevator, Izzy laced her fingers together and clutched them tightly in front of her. Could she trust Derek not to slip up and mention something about her employment? After the Christmas shopping they’d done yesterday, her budget was even tighter. Her heart bumped quickly inside her chest, like a cage full of canaries trying to break free and take flight. The elevator door opened, and Derek stepped out first.
“Coming?” he asked and raised one perfect brow, and Izzy nodded.
As they passed, a familiar nurse smiled and waved at her. They walked down the corridor lined with peaceful blue carpeting until they reached Gram’s apartment. Izzy sucked in a breath until it expanded her stomach, and she blew it out as discreetly as possible before knocking on the door. She was being ridiculous. It was a simple visit, and she was blowing it way out of proportion.
They waited one moment, then another. It seemed like a century before the door finally swung open, even though it had only been seconds. Gram stood in the doorway. Her cropped white hair brushed her jawline and highlighted her pretty face, with crow’s feet and smile lines that made it even more lovely. Gram always seemed to have a sly smile on her face.
“Izzy, dear.” Gram wrapped Izzy in a big hug.
Izzy was about to introduce Derek, but he stepped forward. “I’m a friend of Izzy’s. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out a hand, and Gram scoffed at it.
“We like hugs here,” Gram said and gave Derek a quick hug, then a smacking kiss. Her pale pink lipstick clung to Derek’s cheek.
“Now don’t you tell my Mr. Johnson about that. He gets awfully jealous.” Gram winked and motioned for them to come inside and sit. Her living room reflected her personality, with easy-blue and sea-green pillows and throw blankets. The dreamy watercolor paintings she’d done at the Silver Acres Community art class were framed and hung on the wall. Izzy and Derek sat on the love seat, and Gram chose one of the corner chairs.
“It’s so sweet of you to pop in.” Gram crossed one leg over the other and rested her elbows on her top knee.
“We were doing some Christmas shopping.” Izzy looked at Gram, who had a twinkle in her eye.
“I tend to procrastinate,” Derek said, “but Izzy is a whiz at navigating through crowds and picking out gifts.” A grin bloomed over his face, and a glow lit her heart at the compliment, even though she silently berated herself. Hadn’t she already learned on the drive over that Derek didn’t always mean what he said? When would she stop believing so easily? Every time her mother called and said she was visiting, Izzy got her hopes up, but she never showed. It was the same thing as taking Derek’s kind words at face value, only to be let down when he said it was a mistake. When was she going to toughen up and shield her heart, instead of instinctively seeing the best in people?
“Oh, she’s good at so many things.” Gram returned Derek’s grin. “And such a big heart, too. She’s quite the catch, you know.” Gram smiled coyly and winked.
Heat rushed to Izzy’s cheeks, and she glanced down at the abstract carpet. The design looked like ripples in a quiet lake.
“She must be, because my guard dog turned into a kitten when he met her.” Derek relaxed against the couch and crossed his ankle over his knee.
“Only because I found his stash of biscuits.” Izzy smiled. She’d miss the company of Atticus when Christmas was over.
“I’ve always felt horribly guilty for being allergic to them.” Gram directed her eyes at Derek. “She wanted one so badly growing up—had a whole book of magazine clippings of puppies she might have one day.”
“Why don’t you have one now?” Derek asked and angled his body toward her.
“My apartment doesn’t allow them.” It hadn’t been easy finding an apartment she could afford within walking distance of the library she worked at, let alone one that accepted animals, too. It broke her heart a little that she couldn’t make the simplest of dreams come to fruition for herself.
“Well, you’re welcome to visit Atticus anytime you’d like.” Derek’s voice had dropped an octave, and he held her glance for more than a few seconds. Was he inviting her back to his fortress after her contract was up, or was it just wishful thinking on her part?
A couple more minutes of chitchat and they could say their good-byes. Izzy usually stayed at Gram’s for hours on end when she visited, but this was different. She tucked her legs under her on the couch, finally letting go of some of the anxiety that pricked pins and needles over her skin. What would it be like to introduce Gram to a man who was totally wrapped up in her? Maybe when all this was over, she should try one of those dating sites she always saw advertised. The problem was, none of them would be Derek. His oddly appealing personality and the compassion he kept hidden under a layer of crankiness had somehow led to a little crush. A not so little one, if she was honest with herself.
There was a light knock on the door. It opened before Gram could respond, and her friend Pearl Sullivan stood on the other side.
“Aren’t you lucky,” Pearl said to Gram. “Your daughter yesterday and your granddaughter today.” Izzy’s chest tightened, and she glanced over at Gram, whose face suddenly seemed to stiffen. Pearl moved through the room to give her a hug, which Izzy numbly accepted. She could feel Derek’s black eyes on her face, but she didn’t dare look to the left. Her muscles weakened, and the broken feeling she knew all too well swamped her. How could her mother visit the area and not even give her daughter the courtesy of a call? Izzy meant nothing to her mother. She never had or would.
Pearl turned to Gram. “There’s a game of bridge in the common room starting in fifteen minutes.”
“Yes, and a little bird told me they’re serving those fruit tarts you love. Better get down there early—those things go like hot cakes.” Gram sent her a hard smile. “I’ll meet you in a few.”
Pearl scurried off as quickly as she’d come and closed the door behind her. Were there really fruit tarts, or had Gram cleared the room so Pearl wouldn’t spill any more secrets about her mother’s visit? Gram’s living room had gone completely quiet, and Izzy stared straight ahead, unable to decide what to do next.
“That poor woman.” Gram laughed nervously. “Dementia is a bitch.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Gram, don’t try to spare my feelings. Was Mom here?”
Gram lowered her gaze and clasped her hands together in her lap. “Yes, honey,” she mumbled. “She left Oliver and needed somewhere to stay for a few nights.”
It was like a slap in the face that her mother had been here longer than a quick visit. If she’d dropped in yesterday, Izzy might have seen her for the first time in years. No matter how much resentment she held for her mother, there was still the little girl inside her that longed for maternal affection and acceptance.
A whoosh of breath left Izzy’s lungs. The air inside the room had thickened with tension.
“Don’t take it personally, dear.” Izzy didn’t want to see the pity on Gram’s face. “I don’t know where I went wrong in raising her, but your mother’s a very selfish woman.” Gram reached toward the love seat and squeezed her hand.
“We should get going,” Izzy muttered and stood up. Her left leg had fallen asleep, but she’d walk through it. She needed the fresh, cool air.
They all stood up, and Gram hugged her, then Derek.
“I am sorry,” Gram whispered in her ear and gently rubbed her shoulder as they followed Derek to the door. Izzy’s heart was weighed down with pain as they silently went from the building to the car. She’d fallen in love with the heated seat feature and forced her body to ease against the radiating warmth.
“Your gram is lovely. I was disappointed not to meet the infamous Mr. Johnson, though,” Derek joked. When she didn’t respond, Derek did the unexpected and reached across the center console and took her hand. It was large and rough against hers.
“It hurts,” he said quietly. “Sometimes, we’re better off without the people who take us for granted, no matter how hard it is.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it and putting his car in reverse. They were silent for a few minutes, but when they passed a line of shops and restaurants, Derek cleared his throat. “Is there anywhere you’d like to stop? Are you hungry?”
“Let’s get back and wrap these gifts. We have a lot of work to do.” Izzy just wanted to disappear back into Derek’s castle. Was this how he’d felt when he closed himself off from the world?
Derek groaned like a child told to go to his room, and she couldn’t help but grin just a little at his defeated tone. “What could possibly be left?”
“Seriously? Do you decorate when they come? Put up a tree? Cook?” Izzy looked over at him as he crept the car along the still snowy roads.
“I usually don’t decorate, and my staff takes care of the food.” He put his right blinker on and spun the wheel.
“Well, this year, it’s up to us, and I say a true girlfriend would make you go all out with the decorations, a tree, lights on the front of the house—”
“What are you? Santa’s evil elf?” He said it so seriously, she couldn’t stop the laughter from erupting and echoing off the walls of the car.
“If that’s how you’d like to think of me for the next few days, so be it, but we’re going to do it up big before your family gets here.” She leaned back against the seat, letting the heat radiate around her body like a hug—just like when Derek had wrapped his arms around her in the hotel and pulled her close. The gesture had been unexpected and made the kiss seem like so much more. His arms had been solid and comforting as silent tears had slipped down her face, partially because of the painful memories she’d unloaded on him and partially from all the wine. She’d never told anyone about her college traumas. Had the alcohol lured her into a false sense of emotional security, or did she really trust him with her deepest memories? Maybe he was safe because she’d be leaving soon. If only she could just let go and live the fairy tale they’d be displaying for his family.
Derek’s voice filled the quiet void in the car. “Do you think we can pull it off?”
“Of course. We still have two full days before they arrive,” she said and looked out her window.
“I didn’t mean the decorating.” His voice was slightly hoarse, and it sent a shiver down her spine.
“Oh.” She bit her bottom lip, and her cheeks warmed. “Well, you were quite convincing in the hotel room.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and Derek took his eyes off the road to look at her. It would be easier to forget the head-spinning kiss if he hadn’t held her all through the night like she was something precious to him.
“A few pecks on the cheek should be enough.” Derek looked back at the road. His comment stung like jagged icicles. He really didn’t want to be that close to her again. Maybe she’d been more intoxicated than she realized, and she’d only imagined the urgency in his kiss and the tenderness of his embrace.
They pulled into the driveway of Derek’s fortress. The sight of it spearing up into the gray sky still awed her. Derek jumped out of the car and collected the packages before sliding his key in the front door, releasing the lock. Atticus sat on the other side, tail brushing from side to side against the tiled foyer. She smoothed the dog’s fur with her hand before he lumbered out the front door. Derek set their bags against the staircase. He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked deep in thought.
“Would you like me to make dinner?” It was the last thing Izzy wanted to do, but she was his temp after all. It had been an emotionally draining two days, and she was ready for some solitude to collect herself. Her feelings for him were becoming all too real, and she needed some space between her and his brooding eyes and broad shoulders.
“I can make a sandwich,” Derek said and moved an inch closer to her. His scent, like dark forest pines, was all too appealing. She stepped back, picked up her bags, and headed up the stairs.
Once she was in the safety of her room, she let her shoulders slump. She always fell for the people who wanted her least. She sat cross-legged on the floor and took out the wrapping paper, tape, and scissors she’d bought. It kept her mind busy to measure, cut, wrap, repeat. Before long, the little stack of gifts was wrapped. She crumpled up scraps of wrapping paper and shoved them into the shopping bag. It would have to be her trash can for now because she didn’t have the energy to go downstairs. She was just about to change into her pajamas when a knock on the door echoed through her room. Maybe Derek had changed his mind about dinner after all.
She opened the door and was surprised to see no one on the other side. Maybe she was losing it. She glanced at the floor and couldn’t help but smile at the tray there. Izzy looked around at the empty halls, picked up the tray, and retreated into her room. She walked over to the sitting area, put it on the table, and took the silver cover off the dish. Underneath was a slightly singed grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup. It was the ugliest sandwich she’d ever seen, and it made her grin ear to ear. Maybe part of Derek did care, after all. No one needed to know she smiled from the time she put the first buttery bite in her mouth to the last spoonful of soup. Or that when she lay down on the bed, full and content, she imagined what would have happened if she hadn’t turned away from Derek and his burning kisses.